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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by prodgirl on September 15, 2004, at 23:19:27
Anyone else suffer from loss of friends post bipolar dx? My friends have dropped like flies, not knowing how to deal with the me that isn't superwitty, sarcastic and ready to start her own party.
Truth is, I have always known I was BP. I have been a damn good actress for years, hiding when I was down. Everyone knows me as my nickname, which I know know is my manic alterego. When I started telling people, they didn't respond. I reached out for support and they weren't there. We are talking about friends of 7-10 years, people who have been through everything together. Could they just not deal with the truth that no one really knew me?
I am starting to feel like I never really knew myself either.
I have been struggling like hell for year and a half, still can't find the right meds. I was afraid of who I would be when they kicked in, I am more afraid now of who I am when I am all over the place.
Is it wrong to miss the manic me?
Posted by Nonie on September 16, 2004, at 0:18:28
In reply to Friends don't like stabilized me, posted by prodgirl on September 15, 2004, at 23:19:27
my husband and ihave a friend who is also bi-polar and has felt very isolated, like maybe people are afraid of him? he too is very intelligent and witty, great guy. he too can't find the right meds. just wanted to respond to say hang in there, and hope someone who knows can give some advice so you don't feel isolated here too, remember life for everyone has ups and downs, your friends too! maybe it doesn't have alot to do with you, if it do, who needs em! i'll pray you get support in person, the real you has maybe yet to be discovered, look at it as an adventure and a new start, spirituality helps for me,
kitty
Posted by SLS on September 16, 2004, at 7:35:04
In reply to Friends don't like stabilized me, posted by prodgirl on September 15, 2004, at 23:19:27
Hi.
> Is it wrong to miss the manic me?
Your reaction to having the mania extinguished is common. One of the problems with mania is that it sets up for the switch into depression. For many people, if you can prevent the mania, you are also preventing the depression.
One question that you might want to ask yourself is whether or not you are better able to manage your life now. Does your life make more sense?
Do you miss the mania yourself, or do you miss the mania because your friends miss the mania?
Alternatively, some anti-manic medications can cause a flattening of affect and a loss of motivation and creativity beyond the management of mania. Which ones are you taking?
Mania can be exciting, but it can also prevent one from maintaining an organized life and moving forward. Still, there are people who function in a continuous hypomanic state and do very well for themselves. You must decide what is best for you first. If it means building a new life and making new friends around a new you, it might be well worth it.
- Scott
Posted by prodgirl on September 16, 2004, at 10:22:02
In reply to Re: Friends don't like stabilized me, posted by SLS on September 16, 2004, at 7:35:04
I have been in a "mixed state", "irritated depression", what ever you choose to call it for almost a year. Before meds, I was never like this, or at least never a person who feared going anywhere b'c I didn't know who I was going to be (witty, bitter, cry) I am having a harder time managing my life now, that is for sure.
>
> One question that you might want to ask yourself is whether or not you are better able to manage your life now. Does your life make more sense?I have always identified with the hypomanic me. Lots of energy, creative work, great jokes...sometimes a little too much drinking. I only had one major episode, and that was way before I had seen a dr. I used to be able to get things done, to be spunky, just keep chuggin and get it done. My work requires 100+ hr weeks when I am in a project. Never was a problem before, always had the energy - now, I struggle. I have to work twice as hard. My productivity is down, my mental acquity, I just can't find the words somedays.
Right now, it's Lamictal and Neurotin. We'll see how long that lasts.
I am grouchy, bitter, sarcastic, self depricating. Still fun to be with in a pub and people watch, but I don't even want to go out of my house. Before mood stabilizers, I questioned what this was going to do to my self image. I can't even formulate one.
I lived a great hypomanic life. It's just the depression that came along with it deflates everything. In order to take away my darkness, I have to give up the hypomanic me.
>
> Do you miss the mania yourself, or do you miss the mania because your friends miss the mania?
>
> Alternatively, some anti-manic medications can cause a flattening of affect and a loss of motivation and creativity beyond the management of mania. Which ones are you taking?
>
> Mania can be exciting, but it can also prevent one from maintaining an organized life and moving forward. Still, there are people who function in a continuous hypomanic state and do very well for themselves. You must decide what is best for you first. If it means building a new life and making new friends around a new you, it might be well worth it.
>
>
> - Scott
>
>
Posted by SLS on September 16, 2004, at 10:38:54
In reply to Re: Friends don't like stabilized me, posted by prodgirl on September 16, 2004, at 10:22:02
I would consider discontinuing the Neurontin and see how you do with the Lamictal alone. The mood stabilizing properties of Neurontin are questionable at best, and I believe it can actually destabilize mood in some people. Lamictal by itself most often yields an antidepressant effect and can prevent depressive relapses.
I don't blame you for wanting back the hypomanic you. It would be nice if depression weren't part of the deal.
- Scott
Posted by bobby on September 16, 2004, at 12:18:51
In reply to Friends don't like stabilized me, posted by prodgirl on September 15, 2004, at 23:19:27
I know firsthand about your situation. I still have my friends but without the mania--i am just a wart on the nose of humanity. I have lost my wit, my energy, my creativity and my sex drive. There is no worse feeling than to know that mania is within reach but you also know that it's a double-edged sword ready to cut deep if the meds are dropped. I really wish I could help but we are in the same boat. Just know that you are not alone.
Posted by iris2 on September 16, 2004, at 16:50:19
In reply to Re: Friends don't like stabilized me, posted by prodgirl on September 16, 2004, at 10:22:02
I do not think it is just a problem with Mania. I have depression. The few times I feel better for any length of time the people I made friend with during the depression cannot seem to swing with my changes. If they meet me when I am doing well and I become depressed again the same thing happens I have realized that when meds help me and I change it is unrealistic to expect everyone around me to change with me.
I agree with Scott based on your history and current meds I would try not taking the Neurontin and see what happens.
Irene
Posted by sunshine211 on September 18, 2004, at 6:46:46
In reply to Re: Friends don't like stabilized me » prodgirl, posted by iris2 on September 16, 2004, at 16:50:19
People don't like change. That goes for you and your friends. You are used to and comfortable with the mania you. I totally understand. Friends and family are put off by changes just as much because they have to learn how to interact with YOU! not the mania you. but you. It's strange for people to change, but that's life and it takes time. Think of how many times in your life friends have come and gone.
This is the end of the thread.
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