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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Mike634 on June 27, 2004, at 17:44:24
OK, things have been so difficult lately, that I am wondering if anybody else has had this much trouble. I have bipolar depression and it has gradually been ruining my life for the past 6 1/2 years. It started my senior year of college -I had to leave school, and then finish my degree the next year. I had a year and half of good health, then 16 months of living at home with my mother in a horrible, horrible depression, then a good year with a great vacation, and now I have spent the last two years in another bipolar depression. It has gotten so bad that I dont even work, I am just supported by my dad, which I cant stand. I worked very hard in college, and have a great degree, but this illness has just turned my life upside down. I havent had any real love life or steady job since it began in 1998. I have no real life right now, I just turned 28, and I am scared to death that I wont even get the chance to turn things around. I have great doctor, who is very confident that we will find the solution, I just want my life back. Am I the only one out there struggling this much????!!!
Posted by SLS on June 27, 2004, at 18:09:23
In reply to My story-need help, anyone please respond! thanks!, posted by Mike634 on June 27, 2004, at 17:44:24
> Am I the only one out there struggling this much????!!!
No.
However, the odds are in your favor that you and your doctor will find an effective treatment. It might take more than a couple of drug trials to get there, though. Unfortunately, there are really no tests available that can determine which drugs will work for any given individual. Looking for the right treatment is a process largely determined by trial and error.
Good luck. You are not alone - unfortunately.
- Scott
Posted by lepus on June 27, 2004, at 19:08:22
In reply to Re: My story-need help, anyone please respond! thanks!, posted by SLS on June 27, 2004, at 18:09:23
You are not alone. I am going through almost exactly the same thing you are.
Hopefully, our pdocs will find something that will give us our lives back.
Thinking of you and sorry I don't have any more helpful advice besides telling you you aren't alone.
Posted by Mike634 on June 27, 2004, at 19:11:23
In reply to Re: My story-need help, anyone please respond! thanks!, posted by lepus on June 27, 2004, at 19:08:22
thanks for your responses, you just have to keep fighting I know, but its just tormenting to watch time go by that you know could be put to much better use. Hang in there lepus!
Posted by Maxime on June 27, 2004, at 19:30:13
In reply to My story-need help, anyone please respond! thanks!, posted by Mike634 on June 27, 2004, at 17:44:24
No, you are not alone. I know it feels that way. Some of the things you may want to try are:
- getting a second opinion from another psychiatrist for med options
- making sure you are seeing a therapist.
- Buy a cognitive therapy workbook on bipolar disease and TRY and do some of the exercises. The author's last name is COLEMAN and she has written 2 for Bipolar disease
- If you can (and maybe you can't right now) volunteer somewhere. When I was at my worst I volunteered at mental health care agency and it was useful before there were resources there that i could use.
- Exercise. Anything, even if it's just a walk around the block
- Get a pet, they are very therapeutic and will force you to get up etc. My dog helped me during my worst times.
Take care and know that you are not alone.
Maxime
> OK, things have been so difficult lately, that I am wondering if anybody else has had this much trouble. I have bipolar depression and it has gradually been ruining my life for the past 6 1/2 years. It started my senior year of college -I had to leave school, and then finish my degree the next year. I had a year and half of good health, then 16 months of living at home with my mother in a horrible, horrible depression, then a good year with a great vacation, and now I have spent the last two years in another bipolar depression. It has gotten so bad that I dont even work, I am just supported by my dad, which I cant stand. I worked very hard in college, and have a great degree, but this illness has just turned my life upside down. I havent had any real love life or steady job since it began in 1998. I have no real life right now, I just turned 28, and I am scared to death that I wont even get the chance to turn things around. I have great doctor, who is very confident that we will find the solution, I just want my life back. Am I the only one out there struggling this much????!!!
Posted by holymama on June 27, 2004, at 20:52:27
In reply to Re: My story-need help, anyone please respond! tha, posted by Maxime on June 27, 2004, at 19:30:13
Hi Mike, phew, I'm glad to see that there is someone else out there as frightened as I am that they will be stuck in this horrible rut for the rest of their lives...I 'm 30 and had 3 kids (in 3 years) and a marriage before I started to get really sick. Now I have to try to function and take care of them and try not to scar my kids too much even through intolerable depression and the manias that the antidepressants have put me through. Maybe you're lucky in a way that you can sort yourself out while young and with a supportive family and without the responsibility of kids. I guess we'll both be going through the same fight, in our different worlds...good luck to us. :) You're not alone. :) Sometimes that is the only comforting thought I can think about it.
Posted by anxiety_free on June 27, 2004, at 22:04:01
In reply to My story-need help, anyone please respond! thanks!, posted by Mike634 on June 27, 2004, at 17:44:24
> OK, things have been so difficult lately, that I am wondering if anybody else has had this much trouble. I have bipolar depression and it has gradually been ruining my life for the past 6 1/2 years. It started my senior year of college -I had to leave school, and then finish my degree the next year. I had a year and half of good health, then 16 months of living at home with my mother in a horrible, horrible depression, then a good year with a great vacation, and now I have spent the last two years in another bipolar depression. It has gotten so bad that I dont even work, I am just supported by my dad, which I cant stand. I worked very hard in college, and have a great degree, but this illness has just turned my life upside down. I havent had any real love life or steady job since it began in 1998. I have no real life right now, I just turned 28, and I am scared to death that I wont even get the chance to turn things around. I have great doctor, who is very confident that we will find the solution, I just want my life back. Am I the only one out there struggling this much????!!!
Bipolar Disoders are surprisingly common (I think the rate is, 1% of the population, not including BP II) AnywayI just want to tell you that you can make it through this. Personally, I found my whole life turned around when an atypical antipsychotic was added to my "arsenal". Other people find relief when the doc hits on the right mood-stabilizer, anti-depressant, etc. Just try to exercise a bit, take up a hobby or volunteer, read about the disorder as much as you can, and focus on the future, when you'll be better.
Posted by barbaracat on June 29, 2004, at 18:42:05
In reply to My story-need help, anyone please respond! thanks!, posted by Mike634 on June 27, 2004, at 17:44:24
Hang in there, buddy, you are NOT alone. Although no one can understand anyone's particular hell and it feels so alone, there are so many of us in deep pain, desperately trying to find answers and relief and trust that there's some purpose in it. It feels so sad and futile that a perfectly good talented life is wasting. It can feel so hopeless. But there's GOT to be a reason, an unhealed wound, a hormonal imbalance, something besides some capricious insane diety running the show. Maybe it has something to do with learning compassion, but jeez, it still hurts.
I'm also in a descent right now also, fighting, fighting BP depression, anxiety, grief, after valiantly trying to do it without any meds. I can't do it alone and have to go back to my pdoc and keep trying for the right combination to pull me out of this black sucking hole. I've learned a whole lot about myself during this episode, I understand why I've been feeling so bereft, but after a point, chemistry takes over and it's TIME TO STOP HURTING!!!
This time I'm gonna ask for rTMS, go back on lithium and deal with the thyroid thing. I'm also going to ask for an antipsychotic like Seroquel. Recent research says that the atypical antipsychotics are working wonders for this stuff. It's probably the only avenue I haven't tried. Also, fish oil really does help, although it takes a while. It helps to heal the brain and not just treat symptoms. Carlson's Best Fish Oil liquid, is a very good one. Take 1 Tablespoon a day.
I know how hard it is to get out and walk when you feel like you can barely tie your shoes, but you've got to just force yourself. There is NOTHING that works better than moving that stuck energy - nothing. The first 10-15 minutes are dreadful but then something kicks in. I keep praying along with the rhythm of my steps - things like 'the pure light of Spirit is healing me', 'I am willing to be healed', 'the pure light of Love heals my heart'. Things like that in time with my steps and breath instead of ruminating on my anguish. Eventually something clicks and grace comes in and I feel better, if only for a short time. It may not be the entire answer, but not working it out is a sure guarantee that things will spiral down worse. Perhaps the healing grace you ask for comes in the form of the right combo of meds from a caring doctor, perhaps an emotional breakthrough will dawn, an 'aha', perhaps feeling the compassionate bond with all us other suffering souls. One foot in front of the other, whatever it takes. Bless you and keep me in your good thoughts as well. - BarbaraCat
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