Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 323861

Shown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

rapic cycling bipolar/cyclothymyia

Posted by tara-t on March 13, 2004, at 2:44:55

hi people, im new here. wondering if anyone has any advice, or anything simmilar to share -
i was just diagnosed (by my doctor, just a clinician, who i dont trust)with rapid cycling manic depression.
my doctor prescribed me w zyprexa,which im reluctant to take. i think im addicted to my
hyper-hyper bouncing off the walls highs i experience almost every day. i also *crash* into
an indescribably horrible agitated depression many days, but it always passes.
im soo afraid of myself sometimes, i find myself rationalizng suicide. but then before long, im jumping up and down in one place again,
the happiest person in the world. i dont want that to stop. i know though, that its an evil cycle
and if i let it continue... i dont know... i dont know...that feeling - like FEAR, only worse...
and i dont know what "normal" is at this point, i dont know if i remember what it is to have a constant view, im so confused, i think i have a personality crisis, if there is such a thing, i dont know which ME is ME, - im not sure that i have any enduring traits that stay with me through my mood swings.
i know i should try this medication,i know this NOW, but when im HAPPY(i dont think that word's appropriate for the incredibly euphoric hyper-hyper energy) i find myself in denial.i want THAT to be what "normal" is for me.
i know im fooling myself.
im sorry im rambling.
i HATE talking about myself like this, i feel like a bitching, moaning, selfish fool. but theres noone in my life right now i CAN talk to. im in high school, and its impossible for me to maintain relationships. and no one in my family understands me ( i dont blame them). and i dont trust my doctor, because he prescribed me with paxil cr, alone, whcih only perpetuated my problems, made me MORE crazy. (another reason i dont want to take this prescription he just gave me) i dont know... im feel so lost....

any responses would be appritiated.

 

Re: rapic cycling bipolar/cyclothymyia ยป tara-t

Posted by Slinky on March 13, 2004, at 6:50:09

In reply to rapic cycling bipolar/cyclothymyia, posted by tara-t on March 13, 2004, at 2:44:55

Hi

I rapid cycle since forever.
In my experience the happy times got less and less . I'm mostly depressed now.
Often I think the bad suicidal times can't get any worse but they do.
I think I'm saying..experience 'normal'happy times that you can treasure cause the roller coaster could get worse.
You are still young..
Give the zyprexa a try...it's not compulsary.
Also manic happy times may not really be happy times...
Just my opinion...take care.

 

Re: rapic cycling bipolar/cyclothymyia

Posted by kotsunega on March 13, 2004, at 22:13:58

In reply to rapic cycling bipolar/cyclothymyia, posted by tara-t on March 13, 2004, at 2:44:55

I can't remember, in the days, months, years before I started taking Zyprexa, what having peace in my life was like. I went from manic to depressed and as my disorder progressed, I moved into mixed states where I felt really up but, without comprehending it, treated people like sh*t. My marriage and my career were almost ended without me really comprehending what the problem was -- until Zyprexa. A month on Zyprexa and I found out what a logical, sensible, emotionally stable person I could be. Gone were the emotional upheavals and angry feelings I had lived with for so long. Gone was my irrational drive to deal with life on my terms and no one elses. I could go on, but you get what I'm saying, I'm sure. Bipolar disorder will worsen if left untreated as it was in my case, and you will become more and more irrational without really knowing what's going on with your emotions and thoughts. Give the Zyprexa a try. You may find a stability you never knew existed like I did.

 

Re: rapic cycling bipolar/cyclothymyia

Posted by Mr.Scott on March 14, 2004, at 13:38:24

In reply to Re: rapic cycling bipolar/cyclothymyia, posted by kotsunega on March 13, 2004, at 22:13:58

I concur with the above posters and also would describe myself much as Tara-T. Bipolar was once a gift in some ways, but it does progress. Chasing those ups becomes problematic by actually inducing more downs. I'd keep an open mind about mood stabilizers. I now find myself trying to fight depression every other week because I shot myself up full of antidepressants the week before. It's very much an addiction to those periods where life is A-Okay and then some. The problem however is that they are followed by a crash into depression which can be totally despairing and often mixed episodes develop where I'm agitated and very unhappy at the same time. I'm by no means fixed...but I'm trying to give up the chase and just do what they tell me for a change. It'd very scarry, but my way only got me so far..

Just some thoughts and I hope you get well soon.

Scott

 

Re: rapic cycling bipolar/cyclothymyia

Posted by Kirsty on March 17, 2004, at 11:49:03

In reply to rapic cycling bipolar/cyclothymyia, posted by tara-t on March 13, 2004, at 2:44:55

Hi- I know that it doesn't always help to hear that someone understands, but I think I might have an inkling of how you feel. I was diagnosed with bipolar last year, in my senior year of highschool. It's tough to be in the "best years of your life" when you're miserable. But don't ever say sorry- you don't have to be sorry for anything, not your moods, not your complaining, not anything. You're coming to grips with something very difficult- and you're facing it and reaching out. You don't have to pretend to be alright- you don't have to smile and be the person people can get along with. In terms of meds- find someone you trust to 1)help you understand what the disorder actually is and that it's not who you are and 2) help you understand what the meds do and why you should take them. Just from experience- i went off meds and attempted suicide. But don't ever apologize. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Best of luck.
Kirsty


This is the end of the thread.


Show another thread

URL of post in thread:


Psycho-Babble Medication | Extras | FAQ


[dr. bob] Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD, bob@dr-bob.org

Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.