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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 69 to 93 of 134. Go back in thread:
Posted by katia on January 9, 2004, at 15:33:29
In reply to Katia--feeling better today, posted by fluffy on January 9, 2004, at 10:37:42
Hi Katy,
Good news!! I'm so glad. And it's only the second day! But Depakote works fast. I went up to 750mg, but it's like everything, if it works for you at a lower level - why the hell not stay there? Are you upping your Lamictal too? Dep. doubles Lam levels. I think you'll get a nice hypomanic feeling if you up the Lam. more. (and Dep.).
I didn't take your comments as criticism. It's important to get feedback! Keep it coming.
I'm still feeling stupid, flat, (and fat!), and slow. I can't fall asleep before 3ish, but yet I'm exhausted feeling. I take more Seroquel now and then I wake up after 12. It's a crappy schedule I've been doing for over a year now.
that's me-
hugs-
katia
Posted by katia on January 9, 2004, at 15:54:55
In reply to Re: Lithium » katia, posted by AMD on January 9, 2004, at 14:13:55
Hi Adam,
> ### Questions for you: how did you feel on the
> ### Lamictal? Did it affect your cognition for
> ### better/worse? Did it help with your
> ### depression? Was it effective for the
> ### cycling? (I am on the fourth day: still
> ### taking just 25mg/day.)**When I first started lamictal, I was on Depakote as well. I got that wonderful zingy hypomania for the first few days of an upping and then it'd level off. That nice feeling only lasted as long as I was on Dep. then I got off of Dep. (I was still rapid cycling and I had a scare of Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome which can lead to infertility). Dep. can cause this. So I was at 200mg of Lam. and doing better than if I wasn't on anything - I could feel the power of depression knocking at my door but Lam. wouldn't let it in. However, I have intense mixed states and irritability (irrationally so on Lam. alone) hence me going to Lithium. But now, I lost Lam. due to the rash (thanks lithium) and probably will lose Lithium too. With the cognition, it probably helped in the way that I'd get really inspired (hypomanic), but then it'd level off. I was definitely writing a lot pre-Lithium.
> ### Day two, and I definitely feel a little more
> ### mentally alert. Still pangs of depression,
> ### and a lot of self-doubt, but not so bad.
> ### Perhaps a bit 'mixed' -- but I don't think
> ### so. That's just what I get for having
> ### that thought suggested to me.**Very funny - the power of suggestion. Who suggested you were mixed? And good news on getting your brain back!
### Blood alcohol level: all this started after
> ### I (binge) drank enough to put myself in the
> ### hospital with a BAL of .25. That was about
> ### two months ago, and my medical checkup
> ### afterward was fine.**So when did you get your diagnosis (dx)? How long have you been trying medication? If you just started, consider yourself lucky that you didn't have to go through a hellish year (like I did and Katy did) on antidepressants before someone finally thought about it and gave the correct dx = bipolar. It's no fun to be on ADs if you're bipolar (without a mood stabilizer with it). If you're questioning the dx, you should read other's experiences with bipolar (specifically II) and see if it resonates.
> ### Bingo, my fears exactly. It's like I went
> ### from one person one day to a different
> ### person the next. Kind of hard to take with
> ### 26 years under my belt!**Yeah, I'm feeling lots of empathy for demented elderly people or alzheimer's patients now. It's an awful feeling. And I'm 33 and have no idea who I am outside of moodiness and mood swings! (well, I have an idea, but a lithium induced stupor is not it).
> ### I can grasp them, it's just more difficult.
> ### I am used to reviewing a chapter I haven't
> ### read before class and then aceing the test.
> ### That kind of thing. I'm spoiled by being
> ### gifted!**Very gifted indeed. Are you in college?
> wake up!". I just squint as though that'll help with my cognitive processes!
>
> ### That's an interesting approach... =)**yes, that and holding your temples at the same time seems to do something...:-)
> ### Yes, brain fog even at 300 mg, but nowhere
> ### near as badly as at 600 mg. For now, 40 mg
> ### Celexa, 25 mg Lamictal titrating up to 150 mg.**It sounds like the Celexa is not helping with your depression? How long have you been on it?
Cheerio-
Katia
Posted by AMD on January 9, 2004, at 16:10:45
In reply to Re: Lithium » AMD, posted by katia on January 9, 2004, at 15:54:55
Regarding a comment you made below:
The interesting thing is, for four years, Celexa has been incredible at helping my depression. I was fine for four long years. Then I drank too much and crashed, probably for some emotional reasons in addition to my increasing alcohol consumption. At that point I was put on Lithium. (In October.)
Since then I have not had a single day where I felt myself, normal. So, on the contrary, Celexa (an AD) has worked wonders, whereas the Lithium and now Lamictal have had mixed results, at best. I'm off Lithium (day two), and I think my mind is a bit clearer, but I'm still wondering: perhaps my best option would simply be to switch to another AD. Maybe something like Prozac. I have this nagging feeling I've been overdiagnosed and I'm now entering a scary experimental phase of starting and stopping other drugs. I don't know what to think anymore... I just know that I've been depressed. Not manic. Not mixed. DEPRESSED. So I feel like I've been prescribed medicine for something I don't need fixed! Meanwhile I wait out this depression...
(The only reason I have more patience with Lamictal is that a) it appears to have fewer cognitive side effects, and b) it works as an antidepressant. Of course these two things are closely related.)
Adam
> Hi Adam,
>
> > ### Questions for you: how did you feel on the
> > ### Lamictal? Did it affect your cognition for
> > ### better/worse? Did it help with your
> > ### depression? Was it effective for the
> > ### cycling? (I am on the fourth day: still
> > ### taking just 25mg/day.)
>
> **When I first started lamictal, I was on Depakote as well. I got that wonderful zingy hypomania for the first few days of an upping and then it'd level off. That nice feeling only lasted as long as I was on Dep. then I got off of Dep. (I was still rapid cycling and I had a scare of Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome which can lead to infertility). Dep. can cause this. So I was at 200mg of Lam. and doing better than if I wasn't on anything - I could feel the power of depression knocking at my door but Lam. wouldn't let it in. However, I have intense mixed states and irritability (irrationally so on Lam. alone) hence me going to Lithium. But now, I lost Lam. due to the rash (thanks lithium) and probably will lose Lithium too. With the cognition, it probably helped in the way that I'd get really inspired (hypomanic), but then it'd level off. I was definitely writing a lot pre-Lithium.
>
> > ### Day two, and I definitely feel a little more
> > ### mentally alert. Still pangs of depression,
> > ### and a lot of self-doubt, but not so bad.
> > ### Perhaps a bit 'mixed' -- but I don't think
> > ### so. That's just what I get for having
> > ### that thought suggested to me.
>
> **Very funny - the power of suggestion. Who suggested you were mixed? And good news on getting your brain back!
>
> ### Blood alcohol level: all this started after
> > ### I (binge) drank enough to put myself in the
> > ### hospital with a BAL of .25. That was about
> > ### two months ago, and my medical checkup
> > ### afterward was fine.
>
> **So when did you get your diagnosis (dx)? How long have you been trying medication? If you just started, consider yourself lucky that you didn't have to go through a hellish year (like I did and Katy did) on antidepressants before someone finally thought about it and gave the correct dx = bipolar. It's no fun to be on ADs if you're bipolar (without a mood stabilizer with it). If you're questioning the dx, you should read other's experiences with bipolar (specifically II) and see if it resonates.
>
> > ### Bingo, my fears exactly. It's like I went
> > ### from one person one day to a different
> > ### person the next. Kind of hard to take with
> > ### 26 years under my belt!
>
> **Yeah, I'm feeling lots of empathy for demented elderly people or alzheimer's patients now. It's an awful feeling. And I'm 33 and have no idea who I am outside of moodiness and mood swings! (well, I have an idea, but a lithium induced stupor is not it).
>
> > ### I can grasp them, it's just more difficult.
> > ### I am used to reviewing a chapter I haven't
> > ### read before class and then aceing the test.
> > ### That kind of thing. I'm spoiled by being
> > ### gifted!
>
> **Very gifted indeed. Are you in college?
>
> > wake up!". I just squint as though that'll help with my cognitive processes!
> >
> > ### That's an interesting approach... =)
>
> **yes, that and holding your temples at the same time seems to do something...:-)
>
> > ### Yes, brain fog even at 300 mg, but nowhere
> > ### near as badly as at 600 mg. For now, 40 mg
> > ### Celexa, 25 mg Lamictal titrating up to 150 mg.
>
> **It sounds like the Celexa is not helping with your depression? How long have you been on it?
>
> Cheerio-
> Katia
Posted by fluffy on January 9, 2004, at 16:24:35
In reply to Re: Lithium » fluffy, posted by AMD on January 9, 2004, at 14:24:33
Hi Adam--My replies are with a ***.
>
> ### That is so good to hear! I had been gradually
> ### decreasing the dose until yesterday, when I ### finally quit. Already my mind is a bit
> ### clearer, although I now fear I'll be obsessed
> ### with 'wondering' whether I am in fact
> ### back to my clear-thinking self. I will
> ### consider myself back to normal when these
> ### obsessions dissipate.***Believe me--you'll know when you're back to full thinking capacity. It will just creep in slowly, and you'll find yourself not even thinking about it (like you hypothesize).
> ### They talk about the 'trade-off' -- for me
> ### I'd rather be a bit manic than unable to
> ### experience the highs and lows of life.
>
***I think all of us wished our "normal" was hypomanic--we'd be dynamos--unstopable and genius. But alas--what comes up must come down. At this point, I experience more depression than hypomania. So the trade off for me better damn well mean that I'm less depressed!> ### I think we need a directory of psychiatrists
> ### with mental illnesses themselves, organized
> ### by symptoms and medications used. I'd feel
> ### so much better talking to, and confident
> ### about, a doctor I knew had experienced
> ### the same symptoms I had, and that had taken
> ### the same medicines she's prescribing for
> ### those symptoms.
>
> ### Lithium is the only medicine I've taken that
> ### really made me feel like I wasn't myself.
> ### And I hardly got started on it -- just took it
> ### on-and-off for one or two weeks at a time
> ### for two months.
>
***In theory, I like this idea--but only when I'm frustrated. Scientific objectivity has its place, for sure. Otherwise, all of us head cases would be manipulating the hell out of one another. Sometimes people with the same diagnosis can be more judgemental and biased about treatments and medications. (of course, based on their personal experiences).> > (bipolar II, rapid cycling
> > Currently on 250mg depakote, 25mg Lamictal,
> > 2g omega 3's, Temazepam for sleep)
>
> ### How is this combination working for you? I
> ### admit, I hesitate to take a lot of
> ### (prescription) drugs. I've now taken three
> ### in my lifetime (Celexa, Lithium, Lamictal)
> ### and I hope to be off the Lithium soon,
> ### gradually off the Celexa, and eventually
> ### off of everything.
>
> Adam***I'm really not sure how this combo is doing for me yet. I'm ramping up on Depakote slowly and hopefully again on the Lamictal. It's only been two days on Depakote. So far, I just feel kinda foggy , slow and heavy. It may pass as I get used to it. Lamictal has by far been the most successful for me. I've been searching for the drug to put the final touches on my coctail--I still rapid cycle on Lamictal alone, and have lots of irritability and sleep problems (basically, hypomania). I need a "mania cap". to get me evened out i think. Lithium was not my bag. Trileptal worked great, but it started leaching sodium from my system, which is dangerous. So I had to quit.
I've been at the drawing board for almost a year now trying to get all this worked out. *sigh*
I'll keep y'all updated.best of luck,
katy
Posted by Karen_kay on January 9, 2004, at 17:01:33
In reply to Here's to coming together » Karen_kay, posted by katia on January 8, 2004, at 23:03:08
My cognitive preoblems lasted about a month and a half maybe 2 months. And I still occasionally have a problem with word finding, but not very often. I noticed it last night and the word just came to me "anticipate!!!" YES! But, I don't know if it's from the Topamax or just forgetfulness, you know? I have a real problem with my memory which has nothing to do with meds. (Strange how that word just came to me though....)
But, again I am very tolerant of medications. I have low side effects from them. I can't speak from experience about Tegretol or Trileptal because I didn't try either. But, you could do an archive search here to see what others who were on them faced. That could let you know the type of side effects to expect.
How's your thesis coming along? Is the "fog" lifting? I'm waving my magic med wand to help lift the fog and help restore you mental capabilities 110%. Here's looking at you and wishing you luck on your thesis! Also, if you could buy me a house while you're at it, I'd appreciate it. Just a small, 6 bedroom, 3 bath is fine for now :) Take care, Karen
Posted by socks on January 10, 2004, at 8:39:22
In reply to Re: Lithium, posted by fluffy on January 9, 2004, at 10:25:56
Hi,
I was diagnosed three weeks ago with Bi-Polar II. At present I am using 1000mg Depakote and 300 mg Wellbutrin. AS of the last few days, I feel better and in more balance. I have been told that once the Depakote "kicks in", watch out, in a good way. I hope so. Still feel a little subdued but better than being so depressed I couldn't go for 10 minutes without feeling the need to cry. I also hope it will help with the feelings I have had of being able to do everything, like the Bionic Woman! This is a beginning of a journey and I know that I am only hitting the onramp!
Keep the faith!
Socks
Posted by fluffy on January 10, 2004, at 11:05:11
In reply to Re: Lithium, posted by socks on January 10, 2004, at 8:39:22
Hi Socks--
I have some questions for you re: Depakote. I just started with 250mg for my bipolar II. I also am hopeful that it will kick in and be my wonder drug.
i'm only on my 3rd day. When you first started, did you feel drugged/tired/unemotional/sorta depressed? If so, did this eventually fade away? I know that I've had icky side effects on other drugs that passed over time. (I think I felt sick and drugged on Paxil for like 3 weeks before it worked). I'm just feeling pretty darned awful right now and i need to know there's the possibility of this drugged groggy-ness going bye-bye.
Welcome to our group, socks. (I like the name!). I also hope you will feel restored to as close to normal as you can be, and feel better soon.
Are you at all freaking about your diagnosis? I was diagnosed a year ago, and my doctor and I have been fumbling around with my med cocktail for about that long. I hope you hit the nail on the head with the depakote and the wellbutrin.
good luck,
Katy
Posted by socks on January 10, 2004, at 14:49:41
In reply to Re: Lithium, posted by fluffy on January 10, 2004, at 11:05:11
Hi Fluffy,
I completely freaked out at my diagnosis. I was a wreck, felt like a complete failure, read alot of stuff that made me feel hopeless. My self-image was shattered. Then I met with my T and she calmed me down, let me know we can battle this and assured me that she would there for me. Then she went on to say that many brilliant people have had this diagnosis so that the company we keep is pretty good. Then I meet with my pdoc the next day. I went on and on to him about my feelings of being worthless. He let me carry on for about 5 minutes then he said, look, this illness has had some very positive effects for you and has allowed in some ways, to grow your career. He said that he also would be there to get the meds right and help me along the way. At that point, I felt much better hearing it from two people.
As for the Depakote, I started at 500 mg a day and was very weepy at first. I would cry at anything. We did that for a week. Then we increased it to 1000mg and kept the Wellbutrin. After almost two weeks at these levels, my weepy times are gone, my "I want a nap" at 2pm thing is gone and I am starting to get my concentration back. I am having very weird dreams but that's okay! I am very hopeful that this will work. Let's compare notes as I think this may be a pretty good combination!
Keep me posted(literally),
Socks!
Posted by katia on January 10, 2004, at 16:47:05
In reply to Re: Lithium, posted by fluffy on January 10, 2004, at 11:05:11
Hi Katy,
How's it going? I remember when I first started Depakote at the lower doses I went hypomanic - went wild. did stupid things with strange french man...the pdoc said that this is consistent with the dx since other bp peps have experienced that on low doses of Dep. just a word of warning...maybe you need something activating - like upping of Lam. to offset the fatigue you feel on Dep. It's only been three days you probably don't even have Dep. therapeutic levels yet in your blood. I wouldn't judge anything at this point.
take care-
katia
Posted by katia on January 10, 2004, at 16:51:33
In reply to Re: Here's to coming together » katia, posted by Karen_kay on January 9, 2004, at 17:01:33
Hi Karen,
It's hard to tell if the fog is lifting b/c I did something stupid last night - drank too much and "gave 'em something to talk about". Thesis is in limbo. Oh, loved to buy you a house, but I'm fooling myself in thinking I can. I wait tables three x a week! I live in the bay area where you can't really get anything under $400,000 - maybe a small two bedroom and that's not in the best part of town.
I'm angry with myself. I'll probably go on Antabuse 'cuz I just can't do this alone.
take care,
Katia
Posted by katia on January 10, 2004, at 16:54:42
In reply to Re: Lithium » katia, posted by AMD on January 9, 2004, at 16:10:45
Hi Adam,
If you were on Celexa for four years and it worked then I wonder about your dx as well. What happened surrounding the time when you drank too much? Just wondering why you got the dx of bipolar. What sort of questions did s/he ask?
just curious...
katia
Posted by fluffy on January 11, 2004, at 11:21:38
In reply to Re: Lithium, posted by socks on January 10, 2004, at 14:49:41
Hi again Socks--
Yeah--no bones about it--getting a BP diagnosis is just devistating. The doctors try to soften it for you, but what a shocker to find out you'll have to deal with something the rest of your life. AND you wonder what your personality is apart from the "disease". If you're a perfectionist like me, it's even harder. I've probably tried to control all of this too much. When things get tough, I want to be at the driving wheel--"gimme that! I'll drive!" My "T" is helping with that stuff a great deal. It's been a year, and sometimes it seems harder because all that time has passed, and I still haven't quite gotten to my normal yet. I've had a rough time with medication trials. But I'm having to look at the monster face to face. Before, I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me. I was clinically depressed, and could barely get up take a shower for months. I can't say it's been worse than that since. At least now I'm in the know. If you need to talk about this stuff, just post--it's an uphill battle for awhile. The PB boards are great for support.
Thankfully, the Depakote isn't making me feel like I've been bludgeoned in the head anymore. I'm still having trouble sleeping at night--having to resort to my benzo to get some "zzzz's". I'm quite sure my doctor will up the dose when I go to see him on Monday. I was just dreading the titration if I'd have to feel like I have the past couple of days. I, too cried non-stop on day one and two (hard to say if that was just plain depression with a dallop of being "drugged" on top, though.) I was telling Katia in an earlier post that I had to take crying breaks from work!
I guess if the Depakote only squashes the "up" part of my cycle, we can titrate the Lamictal up again. It did a fine job of helping my depressions.
Let me know how you're doing,
Katy
Posted by fluffy on January 11, 2004, at 11:25:51
In reply to Re: BP freakin', posted by fluffy on January 11, 2004, at 11:21:38
If you don't already have it, then find this at your local library or bookstore. I find it very helpful still, and it was great to have when I was first diagnosed. It's called "The Bipolar Survival Guide: What you and your family need to know".
Posted by socks on January 11, 2004, at 13:50:23
In reply to Re: BP freakin' (good book to check out, Socks), posted by fluffy on January 11, 2004, at 11:25:51
Thanks Fluffy,
By the way, we sound like a couple of cats, hence, that is where my name came from! Anyway, I will check the book out, have seen it recommended before.
As for being a perfectionist, I never thought of myself that way but realize now that I was in some ways. In grade shool, if I didn't get the best grade or the most "a's", it was devestating. In work, I was always wanting to get promoted ahead even though I may not have "paid my dues". I would feel that I was gonna make that next sale and cure all my financial woes. As a financial planner, not a very good plan!!!!!! When I read the Dx, it all came crashing to me. The good news is, something concrete!
I will keep posting when I feel the need, Keep me posted on your meds, hope you can find the right combo!!
All the best,
Socks
Posted by katia on January 11, 2004, at 15:50:33
In reply to Re: BP freakin', posted by fluffy on January 11, 2004, at 11:21:38
Hi Katy,
When I was on Depakote, I didn't need any sleep aids. You say you're having trouble sleeping, but then feel groggy the next day? (god, how familiar is that?). could be your sleep aid? I think if you titrate up, you'll sleep better and won't need the sleep aid. Everyone's totally individual, but like I said at the low dose of 250mg it caused hypomania. good to hear you feel better.
Are you still doing your artwork? What's your website? (I thought you said you had one)
Katia
Posted by fluffy on January 11, 2004, at 16:33:56
In reply to Re: BP freakin' » fluffy, posted by katia on January 11, 2004, at 15:50:33
Hi Katia--
I can't imagine that Depakote would "cause" hypomania--just not prevent it--especially at a low dose like 250mg. According to my mood chart, my hypomania is basically gone--I'm just undulating on the low side now. I've been taking Temazepam for sleep for a week now. So I probably do need to taper off, and titrate up one more bump on Depakote to see if it helps.
I'm not feeling "sleepy" during the day. It's not like my eye-lids are heavy. I feel all drugged up and icky--. I can't say I like that I just feel depressed. The depakote has chopped off one of the heads of the two-headed monster. Unfortunately, it was the one that helped me get my work done and catch up from being depressed! I think I'll suggest upping Lamictal carefully, once the Depakote is at its optimal dose. I think we're getting somewhere slowly. I see my doctor tomorrow. Joy!
I'm still working on my art when I'm not all drugged up or depressed. It's actually going in a pretty good direction, and I'm in a good position to get the ball rolling once I'm feeling better. One step at a time.How are you doing? What's up with the Lithium? When's your next appointment w/ your doc?
Keep me posted and take lots of care,
katy
Posted by katia on January 11, 2004, at 16:56:58
In reply to Re: BP freakin', posted by fluffy on January 11, 2004, at 16:33:56
Hi Katy,
Yes, it's an odd thing as I said before. I went hypo on low levels of Depakote. The pdoc said that this is consistent with the dx as other bp folks have experienced that. I'm not sure why, possibly b/c the low levels takes away the depression in some and doesn't quite address the mania - I don't know. I was just putting that out there for you to be aware of.My brain is back some what - however, life is much flatter! I've lost my mojo, baby! :-(
I'm trying to write and I guess I'm getting there - discipline is a big part of it too, not just inspiration. I'm trying to work w/ the discipline side now. I've written so much, it's now about organizing it all into some sort of coherent work. And organizing is not what I do! I also don't "feel" the work (it's all very personal in nature - self expression sort of writing to briefly describe). You know what I mean? You know what to do, but don't "feel" it....anyway. I feel slightly zombiefied. I'm at 225mg. Maybe we'll keep it here if this feeling goes. Lithium is powerful...it's calmed my arse down! I don't have the irritability hardly at all anymore - not like before. I was irrational. It's wierd b/c I can still feel things going on underneath the surface, I just don't feel it as intensely.
Maybe I'll add wellbutrin for a bit of a kick. I sleep too late - go to bed too late and can't sleep w/o seroquel.
keep in touch Katy!
Katia
Posted by Dr. Bob on January 12, 2004, at 22:52:57
In reply to Re: BP freakin' » fluffy, posted by katia on January 11, 2004, at 16:56:58
> I'm trying to write and I guess I'm getting there - discipline is a big part of it too, not just inspiration. I'm trying to work w/ the discipline side now. I've written so much, it's now about organizing it all into some sort of coherent work. And organizing is not what I do! I also don't "feel" the work (it's all very personal in nature - self expression sort of writing to briefly describe). You know what I mean? You know what to do, but don't "feel" it....
Just wanted to put in a plug for Psycho-Babble Writing, a new board here at which discussion of the creative process and how it's affected by mental health issues is welcome:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write
Bob
Posted by fluffy on January 16, 2004, at 17:27:36
In reply to Re: BP freakin' » fluffy, posted by katia on January 11, 2004, at 16:56:58
Hey Katia--
I just read your update on the other thread. I'm so sorry you are still having a hard time. Is there a new game plan between you and your doctor? I hope, hope, hope something works out for you really soon.
I've been pretty steady for the past 5 days or so. But it's been a steady low-grade apathy, anhedonia type thing. But I'm not cycling anymore, I don't think. I've been sleeping really well for the past few days. I just feel ick, though. My personality is GONE. I feel like I have no sense of humor. I don't seem to care much about aesthetics anymore either. It's weird. Is this the trade-off? Maybe it'll get better soon.
I'm only on 250mg. But since i seem to only need pediatric doses, then I don't think I'll push it unless I start to cycle again.
The other mystery I'm trying to figure out is this: I seem to clench my teeth more or less, depending on "where I am" in my cycle...when I'm down, I clench really hard, and then my face just seems like a heavy mask. When I'm up, I feel like I have a smirk on my face. Lately, since the Zyprexa, one of my arms and hands doesn't operate as well--it seems kind of heavy, and moves more slowly than the rest of my body. I wonder if this is something else neurological? My doctor doesn't really understand this. It's pretty annoying.
Anyway--let me know what's up. I hope to hear from you soon.
Katy
Posted by katia on January 16, 2004, at 18:13:07
In reply to Re: BP freakin', posted by fluffy on January 16, 2004, at 17:27:36
Hi Katy,
Yeah, not really sure about myself...I think I'm slightly elevated - not nec. in a euphoric way. I'm just talking fast, can't sit still, can't sleep really w/o lots of Seroquel and then it's like at 3:30 I fall asleep. Racy thoughts and head - I think I'm elevated. don't know. hard to tell. states of consciousness - wondering where reality is. Only on 225mg of Lithium. I see my pdoc on Wed. Hopefully we'll come up with a plan. This'll be the first time i won't have a suggestion for him. I was thinking about adding Wellbutrin, but the depression isn't a problem now - it's more the other side of darkness and WB will/might exacerbate it. Was thinking about Lam. again, butI actually feel less irritable off of it. Well, maybe not. I think I was less irritable when I was at higher doses of Li. Am going on Antabuse soon and really get into a sober clean way of living. just eliminate it altogether soas I won't have a choice. when I was pregnant, I didn't drink and it wasn't hard b/c I just knew there wasn't a choice.Glad to hear you're not cycling and you're sleeping.
So sorry to hear about your anhedonia. That sucks. That's what I meant before about creating. It's like you just can't feel it - (your comment about aesthetics). I understand. geezzz this is not fun is it? gotta run...
let's talk soon-
Katia
Posted by katia on January 19, 2004, at 16:28:54
In reply to Re: BP freakin', posted by fluffy on January 16, 2004, at 17:27:36
Hi Katy,
I'm off Lithium. I stopped on Thursday and I've been on a kinda scary ride. My sleep is gone. I am an insomniac again even with thrice the amount of seroquel. Definitely was elevated, now I'm crashing. It's awful. It's wierd since being off of everything, my core mother issues rise immediately to the surface as if the medication was numbing it. Or is it because I'm off of meds and things are exaggerated? You know what I mean? You know, those core things that go back to even before you were born - things you can't describe but that drive you MAD about your parents. They have the ability to drive me mad like none other - this power to jade and color the rest of my life with this dysfunctional crazy coloring! OR is it because I'M the one who's losing the plot? and every thing is exaggerated w/o meds. I'm soooooo gosh darn thankful that I see my pdoc on Wed. I'm scared that I"m losing it. What to try now? Trileptal? That worked for you didn't it? I think we're very similar in the expressions of our bipolar. Hopefully it'll work for me. if that's what we do. Lithium did something for me - it worked, but I couldn't stand being a slobbering crossed eyed fool.
How are you?
the best-
Katia
Posted by Eve1 on February 1, 2004, at 22:34:19
In reply to Re: Lithium stupor » katia, posted by Karen_kay on January 6, 2004, at 16:13:01
Hello to all,
This is may first post. I really enjoy reading all of your posts, especially Karen Kay. Let me tell you a little about me. For the past 9 years I've been struggling with severe depression and anxiety disorder. I've been on all the SSRI's meds that are out there. My white blood count go's down on all, to the point of having flu like symtoms for months. I was doing some research on my on, I believe that my condition is more of a Bipolar disorder. I have to speak to my doctor this week, I will suggest a MS like Topamax. Right now I feel very irritable, I've even thought of leaving everything behind and moving on my own, having partial custody of the kids. I think this is not like me, but this is me without medication. I'm taking ambien to sleep even during the day just to get away from it all. HELP.
Posted by katia on February 2, 2004, at 2:52:44
In reply to Hi Karen Kay, posted by Eve1 on February 1, 2004, at 22:34:19
Why do you believe that you have bipolar-like symptoms? What are they? How do you know your blood count goes down? I've often experienced flu-like symptoms on ADs. But that was before I got the BP dx.
talk to us - we're here to support one another.
Katia
Posted by katia on February 2, 2004, at 3:01:42
In reply to Re: BP freakin', posted by fluffy on January 16, 2004, at 17:27:36
Hey Fluffy!
How're ya doing?
I've actually been doing fantasically! I can't believe how well I do OFF of meds. I think that maybe I've been cured of BP! I'm not being thoughtless in that either. i think maybe I was put too much into a box/label with that dx. I think for sure it exists, but I think it can pass too. I feel so good. All I take is Seroquel and fish oil. I sleep fine. I feel happy. I feel like I'm a part of this world instead of apart from this world. It's amazing. I'm not sure meds were the answer for me! I'm doing brilliantly without them!I had another session with that psychic (remember in Oct. I had one with her). She said that Iwas overly medicated and that if I take meds then I need to take a minimal amount. My system is sensitive.
For the past few weeks all I've been doing is looking for a house to buy. it's so depressing because 300K doesn't get you anything but a termite infested fixer upper (and there were SWARMS of people today looking at such a place). I'm still very hopeful. I'll find something for me. BTW, my psychic is in TX- Dallas.
Where are you?
How are you?
I think about you lots and BArbara and Karen Kay.
But things have died down a bit no?
it's ok b/c i've been so absorbed with my own life.
hope to hear from yas...
Katia
Posted by Karen_kay on February 2, 2004, at 8:41:31
In reply to Hi Karen Kay, posted by Eve1 on February 1, 2004, at 22:34:19
Well hello Partner! I don't have time to write much as I'm just up before class. But I'm so impressed with your post, how could I not get back? :)
Why do you believe you have symptoms of Bipolar Disorder? Do you have syptoms of depression and mania or hypomania? Do you alternate between feeling depressed and feeling elated with racing thoughts or grandious ideas? This is something to discuss with your doctor. I know that when I was on SSRI's alone (without a MS) they caused me to become manic.
I'm sorry you are struggling right now. I really am. I wish none of us had to struggle with anything in our lives. I wish we had every wish handed right to us, and we could live out all of our dreams just as we want. But, unfortunetly, that isn't the way life works. So, with the struggling comes the payoff. But, I like to think that at least we struggle for some reason, I hope at least.
I'll write more later, PROMISE! I just have to get ready for a stupid German class, where they speak in a language I'll never begin to understand and ask me questions I'll never-ever know the answers to! Oh, bother! Will you go for me, pretty please?? You'd think I'd have the hang of it by now, but I swear it's all Greek to me... :)
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