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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 9 to 33 of 33. Go back in thread:
Posted by worrier on May 2, 2003, at 20:43:47
In reply to Re: ativan and axiety, posted by murm on May 2, 2003, at 9:58:46
> no didnt notice any hair loss only had 3 perscriptions, i went off it yesterday and am having withdrawl symptoms right now the paxil hasnt kicked in yet. will these symptoms go away if u just quit all the medication? i tried for 4 days but was a mess and had to go back on them cause i couldnt function. i wouldnt feel so bad if it wasnt for the breathlessness part. all i know is that a dr at emerg told me to get off of them cuz they are addictive and isnt the proper medication for the problem.
>Question for you...you said the ER doc said to stop taking the ativan because it was addictive and wasn't the right med for the problem. What is "the problem"? Why were you prescribed ativan originally and who prescribed it? Was it your MD or a pdoc? You might have said in an earlier post...maybe I missed it. Just wondering, because if anxiety is your primary problem, you might want to be a bit carefull with SSRIs. They might work great for you..I hope so. But some people with anxiety/panic react very badly to the increased levels of serotonin. Benzos aren't bad drugs if used properly and they are extremely effective in treating anxiety/panic. They have a low side effect profile and a pretty wide safety margin. Good luck with the paxil, but if it doesn't work don't reject benzos out of hand. Worrier.
Posted by murm on May 3, 2003, at 9:51:07
In reply to Re: ativan and axiety, posted by worrier on May 2, 2003, at 20:43:47
ive taken 2 paxils and ive been sick as a dog. yes i was given ativan for anxiety, was in the middle of moving to a new town and was havin panic attacks, have always had panic attacks out of a sleep but not too often. i have every side effect of paxil, have only taken 2 pills and am not takin anymore after all teh horror stories ive heard. the ativan worked fine, im just comin off ativan and he put me on paxil. had no side effects with ativan and i was lowering my dose before i went on this. to me i think all i have is withdrawl of ativan. when i go off it my chest tightens and cant breathe. but shouldnt the dr have weined me off off ativan before putting me on paxil, havent eaten in 2 days, dizzy, weak, drowsy,diarrea, feel like im gonna throw up, my jaw hurts, can hardly get off the couch. im 30 years old, at first i went for pulmenary test and he put me on ventilin then that was doin nothin then flowvent, only took for 2 weeks, they helped nothin, so must have been anxiety all along. i am a nervous person. so what if i just got a perscription of ativan and weined myself off till i had no symptoms. he told me it was prob chemical imbalance int he brain but ive been a very healthy person before all of this, can u ocassionally drink on paxil, i did on ativan and was fine. only been on ativan for 2 months. any of your concerns and comments would really help. melissa
Posted by murm on May 3, 2003, at 17:50:53
In reply to Re: ativan and axiety, posted by Ativan-Tim on May 1, 2003, at 22:32:58
> Did you experience hair loss with Ativan? How long were you on it? How much did you take? I'm worried that since I've been taking Ativan for 6 months, I may have withdrawal symptoms.
do not go on paxil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was so sick for 2 days and had only taken 2 pills!!!!!
Posted by worrier on May 3, 2003, at 21:10:16
In reply to Re: ativan and axiety, posted by murm on May 3, 2003, at 9:51:07
> ive taken 2 paxils and ive been sick as a dog. yes i was given ativan for anxiety, was in the middle of moving to a new town and was havin panic attacks, have always had panic attacks out of a sleep but not too often. i have every side effect of paxil, have only taken 2 pills and am not takin anymore after all teh horror stories ive heard. the ativan worked fine, im just comin off ativan and he put me on paxil. had no side effects with ativan and i was lowering my dose before i went on this. to me i think all i have is withdrawl of ativan. when i go off it my chest tightens and cant breathe. but shouldnt the dr have weined me off off ativan before putting me on paxil, havent eaten in 2 days, dizzy, weak, drowsy,diarrea, feel like im gonna throw up, my jaw hurts, can hardly get off the couch. im 30 years old, at first i went for pulmenary test and he put me on ventilin then that was doin nothin then flowvent, only took for 2 weeks, they helped nothin, so must have been anxiety all along. i am a nervous person. so what if i just got a perscription of ativan and weined myself off till i had no symptoms. he told me it was prob chemical imbalance int he brain but ive been a very healthy person before all of this, can u ocassionally drink on paxil, i did on ativan and was fine. only been on ativan for 2 months. any of your concerns and comments would really help. melissa
Sorry to hear the paxil has been so bad for you, though I can certainly relate.Why are you coming off the ativan? If it helped with the anxiety and panic attacks, why mess with success? How long have you been on the ativan? Is it you or your doc that wants you off it? As I said earlier,benzos are safe and effective if used appropriately...even long term. Seems to me that your breathing problems are more likely a symptom of anxiety, not ativan withdrawl. Maybe you need a second opinion with a good pdoc that works alot with folks with panic/anxiety disorders. Good luck, Worrier.
Posted by Ativan-Tim on May 4, 2003, at 0:42:48
In reply to Re: ativan and axiety, posted by worrier on May 3, 2003, at 21:10:16
I, too, am 30. I've got the EXACT same cronic breath hunger problem (can't breathe-- feels like I can't get air into my lungs, which then makes it hard for me to swallow any food as does it wake me up at night when the Ativan wears off). Ativan works, but when it wears off, the problem comes back. I've been on Ativan for 6 months (really low dosage, always under 1MG) and am worrying about the withdrawal symptoms which might occur. So, here's what I'm doing: I started exercising again very regurlarly, I'm drinking water like crazy, and I've cut back huge on my alcohol consumption. With all this (been two weeks), I'd say my breathing has gotten 25% better (but it was pretty damn severe, so even this little improvement is not solving anything... yet). I'm hoping that in a few more weeks, I'll have changed my body-habits enough not to need the .5MG of Ativan which I take daily. From everything I've read and been told by doctors, Ativan IS NOT what you want to be on for any duration over a month. It could be used, instead, in a pinch (i.e. panic attack on a plane or something). I'm determined NOT to go on anything long term, based not only on what you've said about Paxil, but also what I've read about Paxil, Remeron (which I was on for two months and had acne and hair loss like crazy so I got off it), and all the other SSRIs. I'll keep posting as my progress continues... I'm trying to "feel" the breathing problem in such a way when it arises, that it's not a bad thing. This is hard to do obviously. But if I freak everytime it comes on, it gets worse. Somehow I've got to get my mind and my affect not to see it as "bad" or something... I don't know. I'm struggling as well. Hang in there. (And quit smoking if you do-- that's surely not going to help! I had to.). Tim
Posted by murm on May 4, 2003, at 6:55:03
In reply to Re: ativan and axiety, posted by worrier on May 3, 2003, at 21:10:16
i ve been on ativan for 2 months. the dr at emerg said i should try paxil cuz its more effective and it would cure my breathing problem because of chemical imbalance. how can they say anything without ever testing me for anything. its me that wanted off the drug cuz i have never liked takin pills and was scared they would ruin my health. and the dr at emerg said i should go off ativan cuz its so addictive but from what i hear now the paxil is worse. actually im just gettin ready to go to emerg and get a perscription, i called the pharmasist yesterday after bein sick in bed for 2 days and she said to come off the paxil and wein off ativan, she couldnt believe he took me off ativan cold turkey and put me on paxil. if i was havin ativan withdrawl how long does it last? have hardly ate anythin in 3 days because of the paxil. melissa
Posted by murm on May 4, 2003, at 7:04:00
In reply to Re: ativan and axiety, posted by Ativan-Tim on May 4, 2003, at 0:42:48
nope never smoked a day in my life.my dr took me off ativan cold turkey and put me on paxil, what a mistake that was, was sick in bed for 2 days and still havent hardly ate anything in 3 days. im startin to not believe anything drs say. there the ones who told me how paxil was this safe wonder drug and how ativan is so additive (which it is) but ive heard more horror stories about paxil. i had half a 1 mg pill friday and half a pill sat and nothin so far today because i have nothin, was just gettin ready to go to emer just to have them just in case. is this breathing problem bad for your heart or brain or is it all in teh head. its worse at night. all ive been doin is lyin around cuz i feel so sick and am real sensitive to loud noise. did u have an appetite? could be the paxil that caused that though cuz i was fine before, and i was only on paxil for 2 days. so are u just weinin off ativan or are u done with it all together.
Posted by murm on May 4, 2003, at 18:33:28
In reply to Re: ativan and axiety, posted by worrier on May 3, 2003, at 21:10:16
they have now put me on pms-clonazepam , do u know anything about this drug? id like to get off all of it all together, maybe i should get some tests done, or get therapy. would chest xray show anything, or blood work?
Posted by Eggy on May 4, 2003, at 22:25:04
In reply to Re: ativan and axiety, posted by murm on May 4, 2003, at 18:33:28
I was prescribed .5 Ativan only when seriously needed. I am screwed now because I take 4 at bedtime w/Lortab 7.5 & Restoril and at least 2 at a time about 3 times a day. I have been through detox so many times I can't even remember. Only God knows why my Pdoc gave me the Ativan and the Restoril...and only I will never really know why I am dumb enough to keep taking it!!!
I hope and pray your smarter than me!
Posted by murm on May 5, 2003, at 6:44:04
In reply to Re: ativan and axiety, posted by Eggy on May 4, 2003, at 22:25:04
they just put me on chlorazepam so i have been on 3 dif med in a week, i am so sick, ive lost 15 pounds, will tehy admit me in amerg? they changed them so fast i havent had a n appetite for 4 days, am really gettin scared now. they wont give me ativan so i know they are worried so why dont they do somethin bout it!! dont trust any dr anymore!
Posted by murm on May 5, 2003, at 8:38:13
In reply to Re: ativan and axiety, posted by Eggy on May 4, 2003, at 22:25:04
wow that is alot of medication, i have never gone over my dose, and my only side effect is my chest tightens and i cant breathe so im startin to think somethin else is the prob
Posted by monkeypaw on May 6, 2003, at 20:55:17
In reply to Re: ativan and axiety, posted by murm on May 4, 2003, at 7:04:00
ativan lowers your heart rate, possibly decreasing the amount of oxegen your body receive, this could be the reason for no being able to breath, i have been on ativan for a while now and i love it. without it i am a mess. I take it depending on how i feel, anywhere from 1mg to 1.5 once or twice a day, yes it is addictive, i take my self off of it every other month for a few weeks, i see i big diff. in my thought process,i decrease by .5 for 4 days, then .25 for 3 days and then i am off for a few weeks, but will always go back. it works for me, may not for you but it has been a wonder drug for me
Posted by murm on May 7, 2003, at 10:59:31
In reply to Re: ativan and axiety, posted by monkeypaw on May 6, 2003, at 20:55:17
yes it worked wonders for me but i came off it very hard, i went of them kind of drugs all together and am takin an antidepressant called apo-amitriptyline, its an old drug. totally different class, its workin for me, the breathlessness is still there a bit but not as bad, goin for chest xray soon.
Posted by worrywort on May 13, 2003, at 12:41:03
In reply to Re: ativan and axiety, posted by murm on May 5, 2003, at 6:44:04
Hi Murm,
I have had very good results with Ativan for my anxiety...even 0.5mg works well...you can always take 2 pills if you need to...good luck
Eric
Posted by murm on May 13, 2003, at 13:25:39
In reply to Re: ativan and axiety » murm, posted by worrywort on May 13, 2003, at 12:41:03
yes i liked ativan too but recently went off everything to find out what was really wrong with me instead of covering it up, i had a chest xray and that was clean so they took blood and are waiting on it possibly being my thyroid, i see specialist next week for pulmanary test. yep ativan was the only thing that made me feel myself again. hope i get some answers soon. breathing is gettin better but still get tired easy.
Posted by worrier on May 13, 2003, at 21:49:00
In reply to Re: ativan and axiety, posted by murm on May 13, 2003, at 13:25:39
> yes i liked ativan too but recently went off everything to find out what was really wrong with me instead of covering it up, i had a chest xray and that was clean so they took blood and are waiting on it possibly being my thyroid, i see specialist next week for pulmanary test. yep ativan was the only thing that made me feel myself again. hope i get some answers soon. breathing is gettin better but still get tired easy.
Sorry to see you are still having problems...I don't pretend to know what all is going on with you, but much of what you say reminds me so much of myself, I just have to make a couple of comments. I've done all the thingd you are doing now, seeing lots of doctors having every test in the book (48 hr holter moniter, stress echo, 24hr urine cortisol levels, blood cortisol levels, 24hr urine VMA,catecholamine, and metanephrine levels, thyroid tests...you name it ) everything is normal except for an elevated cortisol level that is probably caused by my anxiety/panic disorder. I honestly wished they'd find something really wrong with me (how sick is that?) rather than face the fact that it is anxiety/panic. I think you might be doing the same thing. The thing to remember and accept is that anxiety and or panic is a real physical problem that can and should be treated. For many people (like me, and believe me it took me a long time to accept this) benzos are the appropiate treatment. They are addictive if misused(abused) but if they treat your problem that is not an addiction. Diabetics are not addicted to insulin, they are dependent on it to be healthy. That is an important distinction. I can't tolerate any of the SSRIs, but xanax allows me to function and feel relatively normal. I think your physical symptoms may well be due to your anxiety, and when you stop the ativan the anxiety gets worse so your symptoms get worse. Are you seeing a good pdoc? One that deals alot with anxiety/panic disorder? If not, please do. I got so screwed up by taking all sorts of meds prescribed by my MD, it has taken me well over a year to regain any sort of life. Be cautious with meds, but don't be afraid of them. Sorry to have gone on so long....but as Bill Clinton might say "I feel your pain"...I really do. Lots of luck, worrier.
Posted by Ativan-Tim on May 13, 2003, at 22:13:46
In reply to Re: ativan and axiety, posted by worrier on May 13, 2003, at 21:49:00
I disagree with you here. Not because I think you shouldn't take benzos. The fact is that the benzos mask the problem-- they don't fix anything. So, if you intend to be on them for life, "like a diabetic needs insulin", I'd project you're in for a scary encounter. You not only build up a tolerance to benzos, where you'll need higher and higher doses, but you'll effectively never be "free" to live without them around. Benzos are great for the short term, yes. But whatever that's causing the generalized anxiety problems (breath hunger-- I've got them all) will forever be at bay as long as you're on them. Unless, of course, you're in psychotherapy. I'd recommend this alternative over benzos, as well as increased daily exercise with a watch to intake of drugs and alcohol. This recipe ended up working for me (not totally, but to where I can manage), so that I don't need the Ativan anymore. I also found a lot about myself along the way, things I would not have located until I quit drinking and taking Ativan. Knowing the issues that are causing the symptoms is a HUGE release. And, it gets your body on the road to recovering and healing itself. Without meds...
Posted by murm on May 14, 2003, at 8:05:24
In reply to Re: ativan and axiety, posted by worrier on May 13, 2003, at 21:49:00
ive been off ativan for 2 months, i was on ativan for almost 2 months 1mg 3 times a day. could puffers have hurt my lungs cuz thats the feeling i am gettin now, feel like its inside the lungs. i go see a specialist next fri for pu lmanary function test again. i felt out of breath before the pills. i feel like my lungs fil up fast and when i breathe out its not as much air as should be. been goin thru this since jan, in jan they put me on puffer ventilin, then that didnt do much so he put me on flovent i took that for two weeks and he also had me on ativan. ive had 2 perscriptions of 30 pills. my family is very worried hope i get some kind of an answer soon. my my=uscles tightened right up at bed time and i get muscle spasms. been off ativan for 2 weeks. stopped takin ampitriptolyne yesterday, see how it is with no drugs, although it was very small dose 25 mg at bedtime. chest xray came up clean but can u see inside of lungs from that? i know u cant see the heart. im still waitin on the bloodwork for thyroid, it runs in my fam so im hopin its that, ist that a dumb thing to say lol? melissa
Posted by murm on May 14, 2003, at 8:15:04
In reply to Re: ativan and axiety, posted by Ativan-Tim on May 13, 2003, at 22:13:46
ive been off ativan for 2 weeks now, they put me on amitrptolyne for anxiety or depression. only 25mg at bedtime, the breath hunger is still there, almost give up already on even goin to drs. wemnt in by ambulance sat all my veins were poopin ot, had one on my forehead and that scared the crap out of me. if it wasnt for the breathlessness i would feel better although i get tired easy. they did chest xray and that was clean. took blood and am still waitin on thyroid cuz it runs in my fam, i myslef dont think tis that, i feel its in teh lungs, feels like when i breathe in my lungs fill up to quick and breathe out that there isnt enough air comin out. i go to specialist next fri for another pulmanary test and to see what he thinks it could be. i had the breathlessness before the pills. ive been havin attacks out of a sleep for 10 yrs, maybe once every 2 months, somenites i was up all night walkin the floors and others i took a glass of water and went right back to bed. well i hope they find somethin out soon, wonder if the puffers could have done any harm. took flovent for 2 weeks and was on ativan at same time. i have had 3 perscriptions of 1mg ativan and been off that since beginnin of may felt better when i took it but am gettin off everything all together, i have never abused the use of ativan ever. i still say its somethin to do with the lungs, i am out of breathe 24 hrs a day 7 days a week. i do agree with u i went to a banquet sat and had 3 beers and that helped, the next day i wasnt out of breathe, then day after was right back again. melissa
Posted by worrier on May 14, 2003, at 19:12:20
In reply to Re: ativan and axiety, posted by Ativan-Tim on May 13, 2003, at 22:13:46
> I disagree with you here. Not because I think you shouldn't take benzos. The fact is that the benzos mask the problem-- they don't fix anything. So, if you intend to be on them for life, "like a diabetic needs insulin", I'd project you're in for a scary encounter. You not only build up a tolerance to benzos, where you'll need higher and higher doses, but you'll effectively never be "free" to live without them around. Benzos are great for the short term, yes. But whatever that's causing the generalized anxiety problems (breath hunger-- I've got them all) will forever be at bay as long as you're on them. Unless, of course, you're in psychotherapy. I'd recommend this alternative over benzos, as well as increased daily exercise with a watch to intake of drugs and alcohol. This recipe ended up working for me (not totally, but to where I can manage), so that I don't need the Ativan anymore. I also found a lot about myself along the way, things I would not have located until I quit drinking and taking Ativan. Knowing the issues that are causing the symptoms is a HUGE release. And, it gets your body on the road to recovering and healing itself. Without meds...
>Everyone is certainly entitled to their opinion and to persue whatever avenues work for them...I am well aware that many people end up with serious addiction problems with benzos and I certainly don't think they are a magic bullet that can fix everyting for everyone. I personally hope to find some way to live a life without any meds, but at this point that's not possible. As for your comments regarding tolerance and ever increasing doses, there is alot of evidence that suggests this doesn't happen very often in folks with anxiety/panic disorder. You can find lots of posts and links regarding that all over this site. I have only increased my dose once in a year and am still on an extremely small dose, so small in fact that my pdoc keeps trying to get me to increase it to provide better symptom control. As far as therapy is concerned, I see a therapist in addition to my pdoc and an alternative medicine DR for dietary/nutritional support. I also practice deep muscle relaxation techniques and Tai-chi. I have left very few if any stones unturned...I struggled with this without meds for nearly 20 years...many of those in some sort of therapy because I didn't want to resort to meds. There is a large body of evidence to suggest a biological basis for anxiety/panic disorder...some studies have found evidence that panic attacks and anxiety attacks closely resemble seizures. This may be why alot of the same meds that are used to treat seizure disorder are effective for anxiety. I am thrilled that you have been able to find ways to deal with your problems without meds and hope that some day I'll be able to as well. But for now, the worst thing I could do would be to go off the meds. Things aren't always as simple as we'd like them to be. As an aside, my analogy to the diabetic/insulin thing was to make the distinction between addiction and dependence which are different ...addicts abuse meds, chase the high, whatever you want to call it.This isn't true for most people who use benzos for anxiety disorders). Sorry to have gone on so long and I don't mean to sound arguementative. Just wanted to clarify my situation. Best of luck to you. Worrier.
Posted by worrier on May 14, 2003, at 19:45:40
In reply to Re: ativan and axiety, posted by murm on May 14, 2003, at 8:15:04
> ive been off ativan for 2 weeks now, they put me on amitrptolyne for anxiety or depression. only 25mg at bedtime, the breath hunger is still there, almost give up already on even goin to drs. wemnt in by ambulance sat all my veins were poopin ot, had one on my forehead and that scared the crap out of me. if it wasnt for the breathlessness i would feel better although i get tired easy. they did chest xray and that was clean. took blood and am still waitin on thyroid cuz it runs in my fam, i myslef dont think tis that, i feel its in teh lungs, feels like when i breathe in my lungs fill up to quick and breathe out that there isnt enough air comin out. i go to specialist next fri for another pulmanary test and to see what he thinks it could be. i had the breathlessness before the pills. ive been havin attacks out of a sleep for 10 yrs, maybe once every 2 months, somenites i was up all night walkin the floors and others i took a glass of water and went right back to bed. well i hope they find somethin out soon, wonder if the puffers could have done any harm. took flovent for 2 weeks and was on ativan at same time. i have had 3 perscriptions of 1mg ativan and been off that since beginnin of may felt better when i took it but am gettin off everything all together, i have never abused the use of ativan ever. i still say its somethin to do with the lungs, i am out of breathe 24 hrs a day 7 days a week. i do agree with u i went to a banquet sat and had 3 beers and that helped, the next day i wasnt out of breathe, then day after was right back again. melissa
>I completely understand why you hope they find something wrong with your lungs or your thyroid or something...it's not at all stupid to have those feelings. If you read my earlier post you'll know I've been right there in your shoes. I actually cried when the last batch of my test results came back normal. I really wanted to have a tumor they could remove or some deficiency I could take a supplement for, whatever. It would have been so much easier. Do some reading on anxiety and panic disorder, there are a ton of good books out there and they might help you gain some insight into what's going on with your brain and body during these episodes. The physical symptoms you feel are real and there is a physical cause for them, but you probably don't have some life threatening condition. You are wise to make sure you don't have pulmonary or thyroid problems, but don't feel like you are crazy if you don't. Wish I had some easy answers for you (and for myself) but I don't think there are any. Especially since you've been dealing with this stuff for so long, like I have. When you've had panic attacks for a long time the pathways in your brain that allow them to happen become more easily activated and harder to control. I don't say that to discourage you, only to encourage you to have patience and faith that eventually something will help and things will get better. I'll stay off the med issue for now except to say that sometimes they can give you a respite from the fear so you can see things more clearly. Best to you and please let me know how you are doing. Worrier.
Posted by Ativan-Tim on May 14, 2003, at 22:25:29
In reply to Re: ativan and axiety, posted by worrier on May 14, 2003, at 19:12:20
I totally respect what you're saying. For sure. You have to do what it takes to survive, and certainly meds can assist that project. I'm not even saying that my decision to leave Ativan and try natural remedies has worked entirely. Like I said, it's helped about 50%. Not bad, but not a solve all. What do you (or anyone) know about a drug called Nuerontin? Supposed to be a cure for Anxiety that we're experiencing that has little side effects, and no habit-forming properties (i.e. no "high")? Truth be told, I still walk around with an Ativan in my pocket at all times. Makes me feel less anxious just knowing it's there, and that I can take it if I need to. Just knowing that tends to relax me and assist me from needing it...
Posted by murm on May 15, 2003, at 7:29:50
In reply to Re: ativan and axiety, posted by worrier on May 14, 2003, at 19:12:20
yesterday i noticed a lump in my throat so im gonna try to get into the drs tday to see if it is thyroid, still havent gotten my bloodwork back, but am goin in anyway, from what ive looked up i think i have hyperthyroid, little scared cuz i read up on it and it said to go in right away, ive had this for 4 months and finally its startin to show signs of thyroid problems. melissa
Posted by murm on May 15, 2003, at 7:33:29
In reply to Re: ativan and axiety, posted by worrier on May 14, 2003, at 19:45:40
i noticed a lump in my throat yesterday and am gonna try to get in today to see what the dr says. i think its thyroid, all i want is an answer. been goin thru this since jan 1st and signs are just showin up now. u get like a chokin sensation if u lay flat. and before i had to lay on my back only lol, well im hopin to find some answers today waitin for my blood test results, only took them 4 months to think of takin blood, man!!!melissa
Posted by murm on May 15, 2003, at 7:36:22
In reply to Re: ativan and axiety, posted by Ativan-Tim on May 14, 2003, at 22:25:29
i noticed a lump in my throat yesterday so im gonna try and get in today to see if its thyroid, my blood work still isnt done so still waitin on that. its like a chokin sensation when u lay flat on your back, and before i had to lay flat on my back, man!!!!!!! took them 4 months to finally think to take blood, now the signs are showing so im thinkin thyroid, i hope anyway i just want an answer, hyperative thyroid. heard its dangerous so im gonna get in as soon as i can. melissa
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