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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by cab on October 24, 2002, at 16:04:03
Here's the situation. Last month I was in a mixed-state-type depression (nightmare quality, terrible anxiety, etc.) for about 10 days. Then I started Paxil and Zyprexa (and came off effexor), and stayed on lithium, which I was already on. Now, 2.5 weeks later, the terrible anxiety is gone, but there's this new feeling in its place that I've never had before, at least this strongly -- and I'm wondering whether it's run-of-the-mill depression (in which case I should stay on the Paxil for a few more weeks to see if it kicks in), or if it could be the SSRI-induced "apathy" I keep hearing about (in which case maybe I should change meds).
The new feeling is a pervasive sense of futility that accompanies all my thoughts and actions. For example, when I take a shower I can't help thinking about how pointless it is because I'm just going to get dirty again (ditto for washing dishes and clothes). Also, usually I enjoy learning new things, but now this thought intrudes that says, "What's the point of storing knowledge? You're just going to die sooner or later, and then it'll be wasted." Now I know these are ridiculous things to think, but I can't help these thoughts, and they've gotten worse over the past week.
The only reason I suspect it might be more than plain old depression is that I've been depressed several times and I've never felt this way before. Also, I don't have my usual depressed symptoms, like crying and anxiety. Do other people have depressions that change so much without getting much better? Is this (the futility feeling) typical in depression?
Any thoughts are greatly appreciated.
Posted by MarkCSF on October 24, 2002, at 23:02:52
In reply to SSRI-Apathy or evolving depression?Opinions sought, posted by cab on October 24, 2002, at 16:04:03
Yeah, those type of thoughts seem to have always accompanied my depression, but I have noticed that it's gotten worse over the years since I had my first major episode. I did take Paxil also for a little while and feel like it did pronounce those feelings. I had my first major depression right before graduate school and was really scared about starting my program because I my interest and dreams in this particular field had totally vanished. It was the scariest thing, and I am still struggling with it greatly. But I went ahead with it, with the aid(?) of Paxil which calmed me enough but my interest was just not there, and I also found myself asking the "Whats the point of learning this or doing this? It doesnt matter, Im just going to die one day" type thoughts. Not sure if the Paxil was the culprit, I dont think so. It wouldve been the same either way. But I did feel like the Paxil put me in this weird "limbo" like state where I was still very apathetic but more of a numbed apathy, like if my apathy had gotten a dose of nitrous at the dentist. I didnt like it. Ill take the "straight, hard" apathy over that, it feels more real..hope this helps, later.
Posted by cab on October 25, 2002, at 0:14:53
In reply to Re: SSRI-Apathy or evolving depression?Opinions sought, posted by MarkCSF on October 24, 2002, at 23:02:52
MarkCSF,
Thanks for responding. I noticed you posted about Lamictal. I'm thinking about trying that next, assuming the Paxil doesn't suddenly start "working" in the next couple of weeks. Is the Lamictal helping?
By the way, I'm in graduate school now. Luckily I don't need to worry about losing interest in my field, as I already lost interest a couple of years ago, when I finished my course work (I'm now ABD) -- and I wasn't even depressed. I am going through with the degree, though.> Yeah, those type of thoughts seem to have always accompanied my depression, but I have noticed that it's gotten worse over the years since I had my first major episode. I did take Paxil also for a little while and feel like it did pronounce those feelings. I had my first major depression right before graduate school and was really scared about starting my program because I my interest and dreams in this particular field had totally vanished. It was the scariest thing, and I am still struggling with it greatly. But I went ahead with it, with the aid(?) of Paxil which calmed me enough but my interest was just not there, and I also found myself asking the "Whats the point of learning this or doing this? It doesnt matter, Im just going to die one day" type thoughts. Not sure if the Paxil was the culprit, I dont think so. It wouldve been the same either way. But I did feel like the Paxil put me in this weird "limbo" like state where I was still very apathetic but more of a numbed apathy, like if my apathy had gotten a dose of nitrous at the dentist. I didnt like it. Ill take the "straight, hard" apathy over that, it feels more real..hope this helps, later.
>
Posted by KathyA on October 25, 2002, at 1:34:21
In reply to Re: SSRI-Apathy or evolving depression?Opinions sought, posted by cab on October 25, 2002, at 0:14:53
> MarkCSF,
> Thanks for responding. I noticed you posted about Lamictal. I'm thinking about trying that next, assuming the Paxil doesn't suddenly start "working" in the next couple of weeks. Is the Lamictal helping?
> By the way, I'm in graduate school now. Luckily I don't need to worry about losing interest in my field, as I already lost interest a couple of years ago, when I finished my course work (I'm now ABD) -- and I wasn't even depressed. I am going through with the degree, though.
>
> > Yeah, those type of thoughts seem to have always accompanied my depression, but I have noticed that it's gotten worse over the years since I had my first major episode. I did take Paxil also for a little while and feel like it did pronounce those feelings. I had my first major depression right before graduate school and was really scared about starting my program because I my interest and dreams in this particular field had totally vanished. It was the scariest thing, and I am still struggling with it greatly. But I went ahead with it, with the aid(?) of Paxil which calmed me enough but my interest was just not there, and I also found myself asking the "Whats the point of learning this or doing this? It doesnt matter, Im just going to die one day" type thoughts. Not sure if the Paxil was the culprit, I dont think so. It wouldve been the same either way. But I did feel like the Paxil put me in this weird "limbo" like state where I was still very apathetic but more of a numbed apathy, like if my apathy had gotten a dose of nitrous at the dentist. I didnt like it. Ill take the "straight, hard" apathy over that, it feels more real..hope this helps, later.
> >
>
>
MarkCSF,I've taken several SSRI's (zoloft, Effexor, and 1 I can't remember) They all seemed to work for awhile then eventually cause apathy. I would get the "Who cares, it doesn't matter" attitude even tho I could recognize objectively that some things should matter. It just seems to take the purpose out of life. I'm on Paxil now and hoping again, but suspecting the same eventuality.
Kathy
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