Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 119510

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I don't know if I can do this anymore

Posted by audrey on September 10, 2002, at 22:32:27

Just a warning before I start typing -- this is going to be whiny and annoying. I am sort of freaking out right now. I feel like I can't get a handle on anything in my life, like I'm suffocating, like my skin is crawling and I just want to scratch it all off. I don't know what to do when I get like this, which has been more and more often. Even though I finally found a good pdoc and feel like someone has finally diagnosed me correctly (bi-polar II). I started taking Depakote last Thursday -- can anyone give me an idea of how long it will take before I start to notice any positive effects? I've been taking Klonopin for a while, and still am, but it doesn't seem to be doing much for me. I just really feel like I'm going crazy and I can't take it much longer. I thought Depakote was supposed to cause drowsiness, but I've barely slept since I started taking it. This is so much like when I had these episodes in college, and I couldn't concentrate on anything, so I would just start copying the dictionary for hours in the middle of the night. I can tell tonight is just going to be another night of pacing around, thinking too much about everything, going crazy, wanting so very badly to just die and be done with it all. And then I'll have to go to work tomorrow and act like I'm normal. I think so much about just going away somewhere, just leaving, but of course my screwed up mind will just follow me. I've managed to maintain an illusion of normalcy for other people for all these years, but I really feel like I'm unravelling, and I don't know if I can do this anymore. I'm so grateful for this message board, even if no one responds, because I have no one I can turn to, and this is a way to "get it out" in a medium other than my journal. But seriously, if someone could just tell me if they've had a similar experience when starting Depakote, or how long it takes for the Depakote to lessen my hypomania. I just need to know that it's going to get better. Or is this just not the right medication for me? Argh! I wish I could just quit dwelling on it. I wish I could concentrate enough to just read a book or write instead of focusing on THIS. Well, thanks to anyone who listened. And thanks to anyone who can try to answer my questions about the med.

Good night.

Audrey

 

A little suggestion » audrey

Posted by shar on September 11, 2002, at 1:21:28

In reply to I don't know if I can do this anymore, posted by audrey on September 10, 2002, at 22:32:27

I haven't taken Depakote, so I can't help there at all. However, when I went thru Effexor withdrawal (aka hell) it helped when I would take half a Klonopin sort of as needed (not a bunch, but just when I was hanging on for dear life) and that would calm me down some (or maybe sedate me) ... whatever it did, it helped quite a bit.

I was experiencing quite a bit of agitation. Maybe that could help you. I take 1 mg of Klon for sleep, so, I was taking .5 mg for "help" with my symptoms.

Good luck. I really feel for you, sounds horrid, but...hang in there, call pdoc and ask him/her about it if you can, etc.

Shar

 

Sounds familiar

Posted by amber_spirit on September 11, 2002, at 10:52:47

In reply to A little suggestion » audrey, posted by shar on September 11, 2002, at 1:21:28

I was feeling very much like what you're
describing just a few months ago. Depakote for me
gave results within days (I started with the ER
version at 500mg then up to 1000mg). Although
I was on Xanax as needed at the same time which
definitely helped me get through the hard parts.

I hope the "bipolar II approach" helps you as
much as it has me. I mean, all the AD's before
just never were quite right, but the mood
stabilizers and seroquel really seem to be helping.
I know it seems impossible but just give it a
little time. Also, try adding extra klonopin or
ask your pdoc about something else calming in the
interim. The xanax was what really made it possible
for me to take the time and find the "right" meds.

Best of luck.

Amber

 

Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

Posted by McPac on September 13, 2002, at 17:45:49

In reply to I don't know if I can do this anymore, posted by audrey on September 10, 2002, at 22:32:27

Audrey,


I've never taken Depakote but Lithium and Lamictal are 2 other meds that could help your symptoms (both have significantly higher anti-dep. properties than Depakote).
Are you taking ANY other meds with your Depakote?
Other meds, such as certain anti-dep's would provide relief of your agitation while waiting for your Depakote to 'kick in'; benzos would also help (Xanax, Ativan, etc.) Your Dr. should have given you something to take that 'edge' off while waiting for the Depakote to become effective. You could try an herbal (Valerian root) to see if that could provide some benefit in the meantime.

 

Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

Posted by McPac on September 13, 2002, at 17:51:58

In reply to I don't know if I can do this anymore, posted by audrey on September 10, 2002, at 22:32:27

Audrey, one more thing:

There are MANY effective meds that can relieve your terrible agitation though (like the ones I mentioned)!
IF your Depakote doesn't kick in soon and relieve your symptoms, ask your Dr. for some fast relief!


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