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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Sarahmarie on May 27, 2002, at 0:21:04
I kept myself pretty busy this weekend and that really helped with my depression. But now today I came back from visiting a long-time friend in L.A. Her sister has either Manic-Depressive or Borderline Personality. I talked with her about her sister--and I defnitely cannot see that I fit the same picture.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I came home and immediately had to go to sleep. Some of it was just plain old tiredness -- but I skipped church and slept most of the day. I have medication for migraine headaches and I used it to help me sleep, although I haven't overdosed. It is Fiorecet with Codeine. I just want to cry and I just am having the hardest time accepting the diagnosis of a Borderline Personality Disorder. It simply depresses me even more. I was very positive and happy until today when I started to think about. I also took an extra Lorazepam to try and calm down--I am asking for HELP again. Because I don't won't to get in the cycle of taking my pain medication to numb me out totally--then I am not very productive especially at work. Comments, anyone???
SarahMarie
Posted by SassyMom33 on May 27, 2002, at 0:42:24
In reply to Downtime-- Creeping in on Me Again, posted by Sarahmarie on May 27, 2002, at 0:21:04
I don't really know the correct thing to say...or anything like that. I just wanted to say hang in there. (HUGS)
Posted by Sarahmarie on May 27, 2002, at 2:24:49
In reply to Re: Downtime-- Creeping in on Me Again, posted by SassyMom33 on May 27, 2002, at 0:42:24
> I don't really know the correct thing to say...or anything like that. I just wanted to say hang in there. (HUGS)
The "Hugs" really mean a lot. I have taken my trazadone but I also take a Fioricet with it --- I just don't want to think about the diagnosis of Borderline Personality -- I am on the edge of tears == big time. Just keep talking to me. Thank you ever so much.
SarahMarie
Posted by Rathrbfishn on May 27, 2002, at 3:09:17
In reply to Re: Downtime-- Creeping in on Me Again » SassyMom33, posted by Sarahmarie on May 27, 2002, at 2:24:49
Sorry your feeling so down. I know that when I have been visiting people I alway seem to come home and get a little depressed.
An observation...all the meds you have taken can be very depressing, especially when taken together.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hold on tight.
Remember, Moses was once a basket case.
Maybe you will wake up tomorrow with a whole new outlook on things. Get out and do something good for yourself.
Posted by IsoM on May 27, 2002, at 12:29:17
In reply to Downtime-- Creeping in on Me Again, posted by Sarahmarie on May 27, 2002, at 0:21:04
Sarah, I've seen your name behind posts before but haven't read much that I recall. Your subject line grabbed my attention this time, so I read.
What you wrote sounds like something I can go through. Would it be terribly inconvenient for you if you would post again what your supposed diagnosis is & what meds you do take now? Something about your post triggered an association with me.
Your painkiller for the migraine includes a small amount of sedative (butalbital) which is why it helps you sleep. Good not to take it too frequently alright.
Posted by Sarahmarie on May 27, 2002, at 13:16:42
In reply to Re: Downtime-- Please Describe More » Sarahmarie, posted by IsoM on May 27, 2002, at 12:29:17
I slept in late this morning probably because of the meds I took yesterday. In any event I am finally up and its 10:30 a.m. my time.
I have been diagnosed with Major Depression and Obssessive Compulsive Disorder as my Axis I, however, I am having a very diffcult time accepting the Axis II diagnosis -- of Borderline Personality Disorder. I read a lot about that a week ago and I just don't have the anger part or the severe abandonment issues and a few other traits I can't think of off the top of my head. My pdoc thinks I have been depressed most of my life including during my childhood. I had a very difficult childhood which I survived only to marry into an abusive relationship in which I was raped and my children were sexually abused. I have been divorced now for 12 years and I have been working very hard on trying to get out of this depressive state. I was tried on many different medications, on some I had severe side effects and with others they just did not work. In 1999 I saw a psychiatris who was doing her residency at a very prominent University in my city. At that time I was on a very low dose of Prozac - 20 mg., a high dose of trazadone 200 mg. She gradually increased my Prozac over the next few months until I was at 80 mg. The Trazadone got reduced to 50 mg. The change was lik a miracle for me. I was able to finish my bachelor's degree and actually start working on making choices that solved a lot of the everyday dilemmas that got me down. I only had her for six months and by this time I had a new job (as a result of my graduation), so my insurance changed. I had had the same therapist off and on since 1989 and she is my current therapist. Late in 2000 and early 2001 I had a relapse with my depression. The prozac was bumped up to 100 mg and then 120 mg. (partly because of the OCD) I was doing okay but not as good as I had been when I first went to 80 mg. Prozac. I had a lot of financial stressors and had been supporting my youngest son, his wife and their baby. That was an overwhelming experience for me financially and in September of 2001 for my own sanity I asked my son to move out. He had 3 jobs while he was living with me and when he quit the 3rd job for no reason, I totally lost it. My migraines got worse, more frequent, etc. Since he left my depression would improve somewhat but I just didn't get really well. My pdoc did serum levels on me and said that I really metabolized the medication quickly by the end of 2001 I was up to 140 mg. Prozac but severely depression to the point of being suicidal. I did some research thanks to this site and learned that doctors do prescribe doses in the range of 160 - 200 mg. particularly if OCD is part of the problem. I have been at 180 mg for about three weeks and I am doing great. Occassionally I have what I call sad times, which sometimes I can explain and sometimes not. Yesterday was one of those days -- I spent some time visiting a friend who lives 2 hours from me and we were talking about her sister who has had manic-depression and Bipolar for years. I asked Eileen what her actual diagnosis was and she told me Borderline Personality Disorder. I started thinking more about that and compared myself to her as I have met her at many family functions. I am not like her. She also has major panic attacks forcing her to get off the bus and wait until she can get on another bus to get to her destination. For me, thinking that I have Borderline Personality disorder on top of everything else just spirals me into depression. And that's what happened yesterday. I still have migraines which require shots of demerol or morphine to get under control-- usually every 6 weeks or less. This time I have only had a few "baby" migraines and have not gone to the E.R.
These are my medications: 180 mg. Prozac, Lorazepam 1 mg. 3x a day and 50 mg. of Trazadone for sleep. I am feeling somewhat better today and have decided to try and do something nice for myself today. I can't say that I am on top of the world, but I am hopeful. I hate spiraling into the depressive states because it feels so hopeless. I hope this helps. Thanks for wanting to know more. This board has made a huge difference over the last few months of my major relapse. I am so thankful for all the input from those on the board. I am sorry this is so long. I hope I have not bored you.
SarahMarie
Posted by SassyMom33 on May 28, 2002, at 3:06:14
In reply to Re: Downtime-- Please Describe More » IsoM, posted by Sarahmarie on May 27, 2002, at 13:16:42
Hi, I tried to email you, but maybe that isn't the right info. If you want to chat, email me. sassymom33@hotmail.com
AimeeAnyone can feel free to email me.
Posted by IsoM on May 28, 2002, at 12:52:06
In reply to Re: Downtime-- Please Describe More » IsoM, posted by Sarahmarie on May 27, 2002, at 13:16:42
SarahMarie, I saw SassyMom's post & wondered if your e-mail address is correct. I did send a short note to you, letting you know I was going to answer longer. Is the link to your e-mail address correct?
Posted by Sarahmarie on May 28, 2002, at 21:00:23
In reply to Re: Downtime-- Please Describe More » Sarahmarie, posted by IsoM on May 28, 2002, at 12:52:06
Hello there, thanks for wanting to talk to me,
my e-mail address is: gvienot@san.rr.com
Posted by Sarahmarie on May 29, 2002, at 20:18:26
In reply to Downtime-- Creeping in on Me Again, posted by Sarahmarie on May 27, 2002, at 0:21:04
Hi Everyone:
I am having a really hard time tonight. I was suppose to see my therapist, but she never called with an appointment time,so I didn't have therapy. I don't know when my next appointment is but have asked to please call me and let me know. I have this therapist off and on since 1989, the intervals where I saw someone else were very short-lived (like a month or two).
To complicate things, I really respect her and have a great deal of admiration for her skill. However, I also know that she is going through a hard time right now herself. She and her husband are therapists and lived in a two-story duplex, using the bottom section for seeing their patients. A couple of months ago, she switched her office to the upstairs duplex and he took the downstairs. The other two therapists in the group relocated. The reason for the change -- divorce. This is hard on me because my ex-husband and I did a joint therapy session with them, which was helpful. Also, her husband treated my youngest son through his turbulent high school years. She thought that they wouldn't have to sell the property, but now her ex-husband wants his investment out of it so he can be free to build his new life.
My therapist says that she is not depressed, but I have seen her long enough to recognize major depressive symptoms. Also, she has rapidly lost a lot of weight and dropped at least 3 sizes which would put her at 2 or 3. I must admit I am concerned about her and tonight I am in tears, because I don't know if she is okay or not. I have left two messages at her phone and she has not returned my calls, even though she told me she would. I don't know if this worry or concern is truly directed at her or an indication that my downtime is turning into depression AGAIN.I just took a Lorazepam and because I feel a migraine coming on I took two fioricet at the same time. No pain relief as of yet. Please Help --- I need to get through this night. Thank you. SarahMarie
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