![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1805 to 1829 of 10407. Go back in thread:
Posted by maximillian on March 13, 2002, at 3:42:00
In reply to Re: URGENT - OVERDOSE QUESTION!!!, posted by Allen F. on March 12, 2002, at 23:31:47
if it is the answer is no. that isn't the solution and it won't help. after the od what have you accomplished? its a quick(hopefully) short time fix and it goes nowhere. you been defeated and you won't go anywhere. too many good things in this life worth living for. i've been where you are(a couple of times) but, i've always pulled back. i think about everything that is beautiful in this life; a newborn's cry, a kid's smile or laughter, the warmth of the sun and the coolness of the moon, the stars, leaves on a tree, roses on a bush, a baby's sweet smelling breath, little birds singing, a puppys' tiny bark, a kitten's meow and playfulness, rain, snow, spring, fall...to name a few. its not worth it; theres too much that with a little effort on my part makes me too happy, even in my darkest days. think real hard about making a decision such as this and just look at some of the things i just described and see the feelings i experience...they're there; just be willing to look st them and see what i mean. take care.
much love, max
Posted by ST on March 13, 2002, at 5:43:44
In reply to URGENT - OVERDOSE QUESTION!!!, posted by Angel Girl on March 12, 2002, at 12:40:07
Angel Girl,
You are NOT allowed to OD. We need you here; we're learning from your ups and downs and hopefully you can learn from ours!
You have my e mail - e mail me if you need to!
[xxx]
Sarah
> Is it possible to overdose enough to kill yourself on Effexor??? How many would it take? Also how about Alpralozam? How many would it take for that too?
>
> Angel Girl
Posted by nevergiveup1962 on March 13, 2002, at 10:16:53
In reply to Don't you dare!, posted by ST on March 13, 2002, at 5:44:22
IMMEDIATELY GO TO http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
which is IF YOU ARE CONSIDERING SUICIDE...READ THIS FIRST
Also, I once asked my psychiatrist the same question as yours. She said (1) it doesn't work to overdose on these drugs - they don't work; and (2) you'd end up in worse shape than you are now- e.g. hospitalized, making your family miserable, etc [rational approach]
Posted by beardedlady on March 13, 2002, at 13:14:45
In reply to Re: Don't you dare! » ST, posted by nevergiveup1962 on March 13, 2002, at 10:16:53
Posted by Reneeb on March 13, 2002, at 22:06:16
In reply to Don't you dare!, posted by ST on March 13, 2002, at 5:43:44
Posted by sue doe on March 13, 2002, at 22:53:18
In reply to ANGEL GIRL, WHERE ARE YOU??? (nm), posted by Reneeb on March 13, 2002, at 22:06:16
We all fear your trials have overwhelmed you. Yet many of us, as shown by these notes would even invite you under our own roofs if your depression is so bad. We've been there. Let us try. We know the struggle!!!
Posted by maximillian on March 14, 2002, at 4:05:13
In reply to ANGEL GIRL, talk to us! » Reneeb, posted by sue doe on March 13, 2002, at 22:53:18
hey, kiddo...this isn't the way. don't leave us hanging. we're all trying to be there for you, just let us in. with all these people on your side that should give you several great reasons to stick around. we all care. talk to us, angel girl. we need to hear from you.
love, max
Posted by Shanti on March 14, 2002, at 9:06:45
In reply to angel girl, posted by maximillian on March 14, 2002, at 4:05:13
> hey, kiddo...this isn't the way. don't leave us hanging. we're all trying to be there for you, just let us in. with all these people on your side that should give you several great reasons to stick around. we all care. talk to us, angel girl. we need to hear from you.
>
> love, max
angel girl,i keep following the thread about you,
come on girl, lots of people are out there rooting you on, just think of it-- all these people as a collective group are thinking about you and wanting you to hang on if you believe in your self and us you will get through this, studies show that for every one person who thinks about peace, etc. that that one person can represent 10-100 people, soooo, look at all the people who care for you, believe and you will get through this!
peace,
shanti
Posted by Reneeb on March 14, 2002, at 13:38:54
In reply to angel girl, posted by maximillian on March 14, 2002, at 4:05:46
Posted by JANNBEAU on March 14, 2002, at 19:38:59
In reply to ANGEL GIRL, WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!!! (nm), posted by Reneeb on March 14, 2002, at 13:38:54
ANGEL GIRL, WHERE ARE YOU? WE NEED TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE OK!
Posted by Sue Doe Nym on March 14, 2002, at 20:43:24
In reply to ANGEL GIRL, WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!!! (nm), posted by Reneeb on March 14, 2002, at 13:38:54
Posted by Angel Girl on March 14, 2002, at 22:27:45
In reply to Re: ANGEL GIRL, WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!!!, posted by JANNBEAU on March 14, 2002, at 19:38:59
Hi! I'm here and I'm ok, well sorta. I'm sorry I worried anybody. I've been through 3 med changes in the last 2 weeks. I was on Effexor XR 150mg 2 weeks ago and wasn't feeling any better about my depression at all. I was extremely suicidal then and just wanted to give up. Nothing was working for me. I told my dr to either try something else or drastically increase the dosage, no more increases of just 37.5mg at a time, that was not doing anything for me and I couldn't go on feeling that way anymore. So, he increased it from 150mg to 225mg. Immediately on the first day I FINALLY felt my mood drastically change for the better. It's not like I was happy, I'm not even sure I even know what that is anymore, I don't know that I have ever been happy my entire life but at least I was seeing there actually was a light at the end of the tunnel. But with the relief from my depression came severe muscle twitches/jerks so unbearable that I made another appt with my dr and he decreased me back to 150mg to try and get rid of the twitches. That worked but I went back into deep depression. After 3 days of that and fighting to stay alive I went back to the dr and he increased it by 37.5mg hoping that a slower increase would hinder the twitches from returning, which it did but still no relief from the depression. So, back to the dr again a few days ago and now I'm back up to 225mg as of today. No twitches yet but still no change in my depression either. :( I am having an extremely difficult time dealing with people. I come away from every conversation with feeling very hurt or full of anger. I've had major fights with friends, family and management at work. My job is hanging on by a thread and they are now only paying me for hours worked instead of full pay because I've missed so many days due to the depression. I can't pay my bills anymore, hench my desperation post. I saw no resolution to my problem. I had no interest in calling a crisis hotline. I didn't want anybody to talk me out of it, I just wanted to die. There was nothing anybody could say to me to fix my problem short of handing me over money to pay my bills. I am living alone so it's a single income and I have nobody to help me. But as you can see I didn't do it. Some of my friends got concerned and called the police who searched for me. They called every hospital in my city and searched my apartment but I wasn't at home. I'm just not coping with life at all anymore. I don't know what to do. I'm desperatly waiting for the Effexor to kick in again. I'm not in therapy yet, it starts next Friday. I've had major problems finding anybody to take me on because I have multiple traumas and too many problems. Nobody has felt qualified to deal with me. Makes me feel real good. NOT!!!! I've been told I'm untreatable. Can you imagine a psychatrist telling a suicidal person they are untreatable????? :( Anyway, like I said I'm still here at least physically, hanging on by a bare thread and very anxious for the Effexor to work again and to start my therapy next week. I'm just so tired of all of this. Sorry to leave y'all hanging so long. I've been struggling just to stay alive the last few days.
Angel Girl
Posted by Shanti on March 14, 2002, at 23:22:24
In reply to Re: ANGEL GIRL, WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!!!, posted by Angel Girl on March 14, 2002, at 22:27:45
> Hi! I'm here and I'm ok, well sorta. I'm sorry I worried anybody. I've been through 3 med changes in the last 2 weeks. I was on Effexor XR 150mg 2 weeks ago and wasn't feeling any better about my depression at all. I was extremely suicidal then and just wanted to give up. Nothing was working for me. I told my dr to either try something else or drastically increase the dosage, no more increases of just 37.5mg at a time, that was not doing anything for me and I couldn't go on feeling that way anymore. So, he increased it from 150mg to 225mg. Immediately on the first day I FINALLY felt my mood drastically change for the better. It's not like I was happy, I'm not even sure I even know what that is anymore, I don't know that I have ever been happy my entire life but at least I was seeing there actually was a light at the end of the tunnel. But with the relief from my depression came severe muscle twitches/jerks so unbearable that I made another appt with my dr and he decreased me back to 150mg to try and get rid of the twitches. That worked but I went back into deep depression. After 3 days of that and fighting to stay alive I went back to the dr and he increased it by 37.5mg hoping that a slower increase would hinder the twitches from returning, which it did but still no relief from the depression. So, back to the dr again a few days ago and now I'm back up to 225mg as of today. No twitches yet but still no change in my depression either. :( I am having an extremely difficult time dealing with people. I come away from every conversation with feeling very hurt or full of anger. I've had major fights with friends, family and management at work. My job is hanging on by a thread and they are now only paying me for hours worked instead of full pay because I've missed so many days due to the depression. I can't pay my bills anymore, hench my desperation post. I saw no resolution to my problem. I had no interest in calling a crisis hotline. I didn't want anybody to talk me out of it, I just wanted to die. There was nothing anybody could say to me to fix my problem short of handing me over money to pay my bills. I am living alone so it's a single income and I have nobody to help me. But as you can see I didn't do it. Some of my friends got concerned and called the police who searched for me. They called every hospital in my city and searched my apartment but I wasn't at home. I'm just not coping with life at all anymore. I don't know what to do. I'm desperatly waiting for the Effexor to kick in again. I'm not in therapy yet, it starts next Friday. I've had major problems finding anybody to take me on because I have multiple traumas and too many problems. Nobody has felt qualified to deal with me. Makes me feel real good. NOT!!!! I've been told I'm untreatable. Can you imagine a psychatrist telling a suicidal person they are untreatable????? :( Anyway, like I said I'm still here at least physically, hanging on by a bare thread and very anxious for the Effexor to work again and to start my therapy next week. I'm just so tired of all of this. Sorry to leave y'all hanging so long. I've been struggling just to stay alive the last few days.
>
> Angel Girlhi angel girl,
great to see your note, lots of people have been thinkig about you.
can i ask you a few questions? what does your name mean? mine means peace and i have it on my license plate to remind me always to think of peace constantly and it is the hardest when my depression sets in but i keep coming back and so will you!
what type of weather are you in right now? remember that if your city is experiencing cold or damp rain that will play a part in how you feel and if that is the case, remember spring is almost here - where i live we had a very mild winter and now it is really getting warm 57 degrees today - for me this helped during winter because i had a baby in october, we took possesion of our home we bought and moved in that weekend - during my pregnancy i opted to stop my paxil but after my daughter was born i experienced post partum with my depression so i gave up breast feeding and went back on my pills/ go figure - i thought moving into my first home would prevent me from depression/post partum / ha ha!! paxil didn't seem to work any more so now i am on this drug - i go through the twitches/jerks too / that is also a fear of life. Try saying this when you experience it - " I am approved by all of life. All is well, I am safe."
You talk about being single, i was a single mom when i experienced the worst of my depression. that is when i finally sought help. Ask for help through different agencies - ie. church for food donations or a food bank, etc. for me it was going on mother's allowance (welfare) while working at low paying jobs trying to support myself and my son. I learned then that swallowing my pride and seeking/accepting help is also a way to help your depression.
good luck to you, i hope to hear from you,
remember - it starts with you - like yourself even though all you can see right now are your faults, ugliness, etc. you found the light and are still here right - keep looking and you will find yourself - i know you can do it!!
peace,
shanti
Posted by Angel Girl on March 14, 2002, at 23:41:55
In reply to Re: ANGEL GIRL, WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!!!, posted by Shanti on March 14, 2002, at 23:22:24
>
> hi angel girl,
>
> great to see your note, lots of people have been thinkig about you.
>
> can i ask you a few questions? what does your name mean? mine means peace and i have it on my license plate to remind me always to think of peace constantly and it is the hardest when my depression sets in but i keep coming back and so will you!
>
> what type of weather are you in right now? remember that if your city is experiencing cold or damp rain that will play a part in how you feel and if that is the case, remember spring is almost here - where i live we had a very mild winter and now it is really getting warm 57 degrees today - for me this helped during winter because i had a baby in october, we took possesion of our home we bought and moved in that weekend - during my pregnancy i opted to stop my paxil but after my daughter was born i experienced post partum with my depression so i gave up breast feeding and went back on my pills/ go figure - i thought moving into my first home would prevent me from depression/post partum / ha ha!! paxil didn't seem to work any more so now i am on this drug - i go through the twitches/jerks too / that is also a fear of life. Try saying this when you experience it - " I am approved by all of life. All is well, I am safe."
>
> You talk about being single, i was a single mom when i experienced the worst of my depression. that is when i finally sought help. Ask for help through different agencies - ie. church for food donations or a food bank, etc. for me it was going on mother's allowance (welfare) while working at low paying jobs trying to support myself and my son. I learned then that swallowing my pride and seeking/accepting help is also a way to help your depression.
>
> good luck to you, i hope to hear from you,
>
> remember - it starts with you - like yourself even though all you can see right now are your faults, ugliness, etc. you found the light and are still here right - keep looking and you will find yourself - i know you can do it!!
>
> peace,
>
> shantiHi Shanti
My name Angel Girl is actually a derivitive of a name I use on another message board. I live in Canada. We basically have not had a winter per se this year and currently it is very mild with sunny skies. Congrats on the new baby and new home. How exciting for you!!! How bad are your muscle twitches and jerks??? Are they only your legs or what parts of your body are affected? Mine are my entire body. :( How bad are yours and what do you do for them? And what dosage of Effexor are you on? What does this mean "that is also a fear of life. Try saying this when you experience it - " I am approved by all of life. All is well, I am safe." "??? I'm a little confused and that's not hard for me to do lately. I 'did' see the light when I was on 225mg before but so far not yet this time on the same dosage. I'm just struggling to get through each day alive.
Thanks for your kind words.And thanks to everybody else who has replied my post. I'm really sorry for any trouble I caused.
Angel Girl
Posted by Sue Doe on March 15, 2002, at 5:43:25
In reply to Re: ANGEL GIRL, WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!!! - Shanti, posted by Angel Girl on March 14, 2002, at 23:41:55
Posted by beardedlady on March 15, 2002, at 6:14:12
In reply to Re: ANGEL GIRL, WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!!! - Shanti, posted by Angel Girl on March 14, 2002, at 23:41:55
Posted by beardedlady on March 15, 2002, at 6:19:15
In reply to Re: ANGEL GIRL, WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!!!, posted by Shanti on March 14, 2002, at 23:22:24
Posted by Shanti on March 15, 2002, at 7:58:37
In reply to Re: ANGEL GIRL, WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!!! - Shanti, posted by Angel Girl on March 14, 2002, at 23:41:55
good morning angel girl and everyone else!
a beautiful day here today (Windsor, ON, CANADA) it may rain but my spirits are good so i can do it!(although when i just woke up i could feel some anger building but instead of letting it get to me i came here to my computer and saw all the replies and feel great (ps beardedlady - thanks for the compliment - that was nice - but remember it's our interacting with others that makes a "great" because if i didn't post i wouldn't have gotten the compliment!!
now angel girl - will you share the meaning of your name i bet it is beautiful
where in canada do you live?
i started these pills about 1 month ago - i was reading about all the side effects and got scared but remember (i live by this motto)THERE IS NOTHING TO FEAR BUT FEAR ITSELF!
i take 75 mg so far so good i will know by next week however how effective they are because you see, i am so in tuned to my body that i can tell when my "demons" as i call them come a calling - my therapist pointed out somethng though - i try and and say it is not me because i am always happy and willing to help others until the time arrives ! then look out - every man/woman/child for themselves! but she pointed out something to me - it is still me so instead of trying to denying that part of me and push it away i need to accept that the anger, etc. as a part of me and i tell you that is very hard but i keep trying and working at it because i know one day i will actually be able to as one would say intergreate the what i call the good/thebad/the ugly!as for the twitches/jerks a lot at first not so bad now - that is why i say that affirmation - to help me along - as for the affirmation - but first remember this is my thoughts and you may totally disagree but as i like to look at life - why not try it you will never know if something works until you try and let me tell you i have tried gizzlion (as in many million) things to help me along and if you keep trying and don't give up you can do it to.
the book i got the affirmation from is by Louise L. Hay - You can heal your life - angel girl - go ckeck your library for it - if it's not there i would like to somehow get you a copy - this is my third copy the other two i lent out and never got back but that's ok if these people eventually read it wonderful if not i think it is their loss my book is so tattered but to me that means it is well read and well used - when my daughter was born she started with breathing problems i looked up asthma in children and guess what - it is a fear of life - therefore, i say that affermation and low and behold her breathing is better and i found out (to me) that it was because she was afraid of life and think about it coming out of a safe warm place into my world of chaos (moving/depression, etc) funny because whenever i say it to her before her naps she falls asleep contently!
do you like to read angel girl, if so go to the library or book store stand in front of the self help section for a little bit and before you know it you will be drawn to some book that will help you - this is what i do and i always seem to find the right book at the right time of my life!
For me to get through this i do a lot of mental work (i believe that is actually one of my problems (or is it one of my strengths? - i think too much (just look at how much i write and trust me i could go on and on!!!!)anyway, for me once again, i do a lot of mental work and that really helps - i found that you truly have to look deep inside your self first (it's quite a ride when you do this because you will bring up a lot of past hurts, behaviours etc but you know what you have to do this to get better and remember when you bring them up a lot will be due to your upbringing but don't blame whomever because they probably didn't know what to do) and also, the first 5 years of your life is what shapes the basis of your being or foundation for me it was a mother who selpt with men when her husband was away (would bring men into the house and lock us in our room while she had sex)/ then left her family for booze, drugs, rock and roll (i'm being kind!) we then went to live in foster homes, etc. so as you can see my upbringing sucked but after 28 years i sought help and i am here today to write about it and enjoy my life - i refuse to repeat the same experiences with my children as i experienced - and that is very hard to overcome when you are talking about chaning your very foundation but it can be done trust me!
while my son wants the computer so i have to leave but i will leave you with one thought/request.
my goal is not to return to work in Oct. but instead to stay home and raise my children you see i am not afraid anymore (going back to when i was a child) and i can do it so instead of going to work to get away from the responsibility of raising them/ with the birth of my daughter i discouvered that i can be a good mom and raise my children even though i don't have the "tools" like most other people (my foundation) soooo, dear friends like i said last night about 1 person represnts 10-100 for those out there who want to cheer me on please think good thoughts so that i may stay home and raise my children the way i believe life should be.
peace,
shanti
Posted by beardedlady on March 15, 2002, at 8:46:02
In reply to Re: ANGEL GIRL, WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!!! - Shanti, posted by Shanti on March 15, 2002, at 7:58:37
I've been feeling pretty good anyway, but your posts always hit such a happy note. I woke up to birds singing outside my window. This mourning dove nests in my window air conditioner every spring, and today she returned. There was a time I thought those birds unbearably noisy, but over the past few years, I have learned that they are singing my song. And I am elated each time they return to nest. The cardinals have already reclaimed their place in the juniper bush.
Regarding those twitches and spasms: I took three daily doses of a nasty antibiotic (Tequin, similar to Cipro) and got muscle spasms and arthritis-like pain in my whole body. It took two months for the arthralgia to go away. So I am extra-sensitive to any meds. I recently started Gabitril, and the spasms started--at just 4 mgs! (The epilepsy dose is 48!) I stopped it right away, but I know that some of those twitches are fear.
Think, everybody, about how anxious you are when trying a new med. It's different from being eager. We're eager for it to work, but we're anxious about taking it. We hold our bodies more tensely and tightly. And we pay lots of attention to our bodies, especially when we don't work. So sometimes it's the med, and sometimes it's us, and sometimes it's a combination. Just remember, though, that it will go away--either with time or with stopping the med.
I became something of a hypochondriac since I quit my job a few years ago. When I'm not busy freelancing, I am soooooo aware of everything that hurts or twitches or moves. Keep busy. Do things you enjoy (or used to enjoy). And pamper yourself--take some quiet time to sing with those birds. A lot of relaxation can work miracles when it comes to pain--both physical and spiritual.
beardy : )>
Posted by nevergiveup1962 on March 15, 2002, at 16:57:29
In reply to Re: ANGEL GIRL, WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!!!, posted by Angel Girl on March 14, 2002, at 22:27:45
Effexor doesn't need to be tapered up as slowly as other anti-depressants because it has such a short half-life. Effexor is not an SSRI or a tricyclic, it is in a class by itself. You did the right thing to insist your doc bump you up immediately. I went from 150 to 300 within 5 days and it made a world of difference.
Are you on any additional anti-depressants? Sounds like you could use a booster. You could stay on your Effexor at a relatively low dose (e.g. 150mg) but add a "booster rocket" like trazedone, which amplifies the anti-depressant effect of the Effexor, but also help you sleep and relax at night
I finally reached this combination after several years of experimentation and it has been good. On the other hand, I never had the twitching problem.
> Hi! I'm here and I'm ok, well sorta. I'm sorry I worried anybody. I've been through 3 med changes in the last 2 weeks. I was on Effexor XR 150mg 2 weeks ago and wasn't feeling any better about my depression at all. I was extremely suicidal then and just wanted to give up. Nothing was working for me. I told my dr to either try something else or drastically increase the dosage, no more increases of just 37.5mg at a time, that was not doing anything for me and I couldn't go on feeling that way anymore. So, he increased it from 150mg to 225mg. Immediately on the first day I FINALLY felt my mood drastically change for the better. It's not like I was happy, I'm not even sure I even know what that is anymore, I don't know that I have ever been happy my entire life but at least I was seeing there actually was a light at the end of the tunnel. But with the relief from my depression came severe muscle twitches/jerks so unbearable that I made another appt with my dr and he decreased me back to 150mg to try and get rid of the twitches. That worked but I went back into deep depression. After 3 days of that and fighting to stay alive I went back to the dr and he increased it by 37.5mg hoping that a slower increase would hinder the twitches from returning, which it did but still no relief from the depression. So, back to the dr again a few days ago and now I'm back up to 225mg as of today. No twitches yet but still no change in my depression either. :( I am having an extremely difficult time dealing with people. I come away from every conversation with feeling very hurt or full of anger. I've had major fights with friends, family and management at work. My job is hanging on by a thread and they are now only paying me for hours worked instead of full pay because I've missed so many days due to the depression. I can't pay my bills anymore, hench my desperation post. I saw no resolution to my problem. I had no interest in calling a crisis hotline. I didn't want anybody to talk me out of it, I just wanted to die. There was nothing anybody could say to me to fix my problem short of handing me over money to pay my bills. I am living alone so it's a single income and I have nobody to help me. But as you can see I didn't do it. Some of my friends got concerned and called the police who searched for me. They called every hospital in my city and searched my apartment but I wasn't at home. I'm just not coping with life at all anymore. I don't know what to do. I'm desperatly waiting for the Effexor to kick in again. I'm not in therapy yet, it starts next Friday. I've had major problems finding anybody to take me on because I have multiple traumas and too many problems. Nobody has felt qualified to deal with me. Makes me feel real good. NOT!!!! I've been told I'm untreatable. Can you imagine a psychatrist telling a suicidal person they are untreatable????? :( Anyway, like I said I'm still here at least physically, hanging on by a bare thread and very anxious for the Effexor to work again and to start my therapy next week. I'm just so tired of all of this. Sorry to leave y'all hanging so long. I've been struggling just to stay alive the last few days.
>
> Angel Girl
Posted by nevergiveup1962 on March 15, 2002, at 17:06:41
In reply to Re: ANGEL GIRL, WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!!!, posted by Angel Girl on March 14, 2002, at 22:27:45
P.S. I am a lawyer - be aware of your rights to disability leave - if you have many absences from work due to depression, your job is protected - they cannot fire you for your disablility because the Americans with Disabilities Act protects you. Also, most employwers have a disability insurance policy as part of their employee benefits so check into that. I had to go on disability for two months last year, and I learned that there are excellent job protections for people with severe depression. So channel some of that anger constructively! best web site I think is the Bazelon center on mental health law (search for "Bazelon mental health")
Hang tough. Your life matters.
> Hi! I'm here and I'm ok, well sorta. I'm sorry I worried anybody. I've been through 3 med changes in the last 2 weeks. I was on Effexor XR 150mg 2 weeks ago and wasn't feeling any better about my depression at all. I was extremely suicidal then and just wanted to give up. Nothing was working for me. I told my dr to either try something else or drastically increase the dosage, no more increases of just 37.5mg at a time, that was not doing anything for me and I couldn't go on feeling that way anymore. So, he increased it from 150mg to 225mg. Immediately on the first day I FINALLY felt my mood drastically change for the better. It's not like I was happy, I'm not even sure I even know what that is anymore, I don't know that I have ever been happy my entire life but at least I was seeing there actually was a light at the end of the tunnel. But with the relief from my depression came severe muscle twitches/jerks so unbearable that I made another appt with my dr and he decreased me back to 150mg to try and get rid of the twitches. That worked but I went back into deep depression. After 3 days of that and fighting to stay alive I went back to the dr and he increased it by 37.5mg hoping that a slower increase would hinder the twitches from returning, which it did but still no relief from the depression. So, back to the dr again a few days ago and now I'm back up to 225mg as of today. No twitches yet but still no change in my depression either. :( I am having an extremely difficult time dealing with people. I come away from every conversation with feeling very hurt or full of anger. I've had major fights with friends, family and management at work. My job is hanging on by a thread and they are now only paying me for hours worked instead of full pay because I've missed so many days due to the depression. I can't pay my bills anymore, hench my desperation post. I saw no resolution to my problem. I had no interest in calling a crisis hotline. I didn't want anybody to talk me out of it, I just wanted to die. There was nothing anybody could say to me to fix my problem short of handing me over money to pay my bills. I am living alone so it's a single income and I have nobody to help me. But as you can see I didn't do it. Some of my friends got concerned and called the police who searched for me. They called every hospital in my city and searched my apartment but I wasn't at home. I'm just not coping with life at all anymore. I don't know what to do. I'm desperatly waiting for the Effexor to kick in again. I'm not in therapy yet, it starts next Friday. I've had major problems finding anybody to take me on because I have multiple traumas and too many problems. Nobody has felt qualified to deal with me. Makes me feel real good. NOT!!!! I've been told I'm untreatable. Can you imagine a psychatrist telling a suicidal person they are untreatable????? :( Anyway, like I said I'm still here at least physically, hanging on by a bare thread and very anxious for the Effexor to work again and to start my therapy next week. I'm just so tired of all of this. Sorry to leave y'all hanging so long. I've been struggling just to stay alive the last few days.
>
> Angel Girl
Posted by nevergiveup1962 on March 15, 2002, at 17:12:17
In reply to Re: ANGEL GIRL, WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!!! - Shanti, posted by Angel Girl on March 14, 2002, at 23:41:55
P.P.S. by the way, dr bob has a tips page on effexor twitching! it's at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/psycho-babble-tips/links/Effexor_and_Effexor__000963295972/
Posted by Sue Doe on March 15, 2002, at 21:26:23
In reply to Re: ANGEL GIRL, WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!!!, posted by nevergiveup1962 on March 15, 2002, at 17:06:41
> P.S. I am a lawyer - be aware of your rights to disability leave - if you have many absences from work due to depression, your job is protected - they cannot fire you for your disablility because the Americans with Disabilities Act protects you. ....... best web site I think is the Bazelon center on mental health law (search for "Bazelon mental health")
>
> Hang tough. Your life matters.Such great help you have provided here. We need more proactive individuals who are willing to ramrod "mental illness awareness" into mainstream society. I, for one, experience extremely productive and creative days and then I'm exhausted and depressed. Why shouldn't I be? During my manic sessions I have probably accomplished 3 times the average "work output". Hey employers, give us a chance to rest. Learn to move with our method, that is the method behind the madness!!!
And Angel Girl, I am so happy that you are posting here again. I won't attempt to "teach how to be happy." But I will say, BE YOURSELF. And if people don't understand you, how can they? It takes being there to know it.
We all love you here, or atleast those who have been waiting for your return.I repeat Nevergiveup's Advice...
"Hang tough. Your life matters."
Sue Doe (Nym)..........Keep searching!
Posted by Shanti on March 15, 2002, at 21:45:16
In reply to Angel, Shanti, posted by beardedlady on March 15, 2002, at 8:46:02
hey bearded lady
isn't great to find something that lifts up your spirit! now you just got to find something through those winter months! have a great weekend!
peace,
shanti
Posted by Shanti on March 15, 2002, at 21:58:44
In reply to Nevergiveup: You're awesome!! » nevergiveup1962, posted by Sue Doe on March 15, 2002, at 21:26:23
> > P.S. I am a lawyer - be aware of your rights to disability leave - if you have many absences from work due to depression, your job is protected - they cannot fire you for your disablility because the Americans with Disabilities Act protects you. ....... best web site I think is the Bazelon center on mental health law (search for "Bazelon mental health")
> >
> > Hang tough. Your life matters.
>
> Such great help you have provided here. We need more proactive individuals who are willing to ramrod "mental illness awareness" into mainstream society. I, for one, experience extremely productive and creative days and then I'm exhausted and depressed. Why shouldn't I be? During my manic sessions I have probably accomplished 3 times the average "work output". Hey employers, give us a chance to rest. Learn to move with our method, that is the method behind the madness!!!
>
> And Angel Girl, I am so happy that you are posting here again. I won't attempt to "teach how to be happy." But I will say, BE YOURSELF. And if people don't understand you, how can they? It takes being there to know it.
> We all love you here, or atleast those who have been waiting for your return.
>
> I repeat Nevergiveup's Advice...
> "Hang tough. Your life matters."
> Sue Doe (Nym)..........Keep searching!i agree sue doe about how you work 3x as much and then go into depression, that is what i too expierience. so the good thing i found out about that is i sure get things accomplished that i would otherwise procrastinate about!
As for employers, i agree!
one last thing, i would like to comment about "teach how to be happy" believe it or not there are those of us out here who need to be taught this and i for one can say i learned how to be happy and continue to work on it everyday because some days it just ain't there so i try and try again!
peace
shanti
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