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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by vesper on April 30, 2000, at 22:41:37
I can't do anything right, apparently, even posting to a board. SOrry everyone and thank you
Vesper
Posted by Rockets on May 1, 2000, at 0:57:24
In reply to Goodbye Babblers! Babble on without me., posted by vesper on April 30, 2000, at 22:41:37
Oh shush.. heh. I'm not in the know on this situation Vesper but one can change their approach. It's called personal growth :). Peace.
> I can't do anything right, apparently, even posting to a board. SOrry everyone and thank you
> Vesper
Posted by grrrilla on May 1, 2000, at 19:03:02
In reply to Goodbye Babblers! Babble on without me., posted by vesper on April 30, 2000, at 22:41:37
> I can't do anything right, apparently, even posting to a board. SOrry everyone and thank you
> VesperWhat on earth are you talking about? You haven't posted anything wrong. I'd miss you if you never came back. Why don't you let everyone know what is going on with you? The world is cold enough without feeling rejected by a support BB!!! I think you have a lot to offer when you're able and when you're not at least accept that you are accepted here. :o)
Posted by Noa on May 2, 2000, at 13:44:56
In reply to Re Aaaaaaaaw Vespy!!! Babble on back!, posted by grrrilla on May 1, 2000, at 19:03:02
I don't know what happened to my post from yesterday, so I will repeat the gist of what I wrote.
Vesper, you did not say why you feel the way you do about posting here. If it is related to my post under the thread about bob, I am very very sorry. I did not mean to hurt you.
Posted by bob on May 7, 2000, at 12:06:44
In reply to Re: Vesper, posted by Noa on May 2, 2000, at 13:44:56
Geez, I get busy for a week or two and look what happens.
C'mon, V-man -- the hate directed at you is coming from within, not without. Unless you start chiming in with some neo-Nazi claptrap or something along those lines, you know there's a lot of acceptance here for people's views.
Now, Sonny, when I was your age ( ;^), I found that one of the hardest things in the world for me to do was to accept a compliment. I had to immediately fire back with some self-deprecating joke ... but since they were almost always funny, people laughed at the joke and missed my dismissal of the compliment. I had soooooo much self-loathing built up inside that the opinion of ten, a hundred, whatever simply could not outweigh the opinion of one -- me.
It is one of the most difficult things in life that I ever had to do: to learn how to shut myself up--first overtly, then covertly--so that I could really LISTEN to what others had to say and roll it over in my mind to try understanding it without dismissing it.
It's been better than 15 years since I've started learning this lesson. 99% of the time, I can keep my mouth shut and accept a compliment gracefully on the outside, with a polite "Thank you" and nothing else to embellish it. On the inside ... well, a 30% success rate might be optimistic. One of the side effects of my therapy going so well, I guess, is that right now that internal success rate is taking a beating as I start stripping away all the little white lies I've been telling myself to hide some truly ugly feelings of self-loathing and keep them at bay.
Vesper, the self-deprecation sounds way too familiar to me. I wish I could tell you what road to take to get out of where you are now, but that's a road we all need to find for ourselves. But if I can set you a beacon to point you in the right direction, it would be this.
Trust others who know you. The more you want to hurt yourself, the more you need to trust them and not yourself. Don't just hear what they say, LISTEN. And consider.
Everyone's voice here is important. We all take from this board, but we all give more than we take.
Including you, Vesper.
But like I've said before, if you need to walk away for awhile, then you should. I did it myself this last December-February. But I came back when I was ready. I hope you can do the same as well.
sincerely,
bob
This is the end of the thread.
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