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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 36. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Vesper on February 26, 2000, at 22:29:07
Hey, I just took an od with alcohol and I hope I die. Sorry to waste your time. I dont know what the hell i'm doing so ignore this plese if im posting something wrong or smthing...sorryh,, yyou dont know how sorry I am I wish I ould have known some of you you seem so nice dammit i cant take the pain any more. sorry
Posted by Noa on February 26, 2000, at 23:03:27
In reply to Goodbye or something, I dont know, posted by Vesper on February 26, 2000, at 22:29:07
Vesper, are you still online? What did you take and how much? Where are you? Where is your friend? Your father?
YOu need to go to the hospital immediately. Please let us help.
Posted by Janice on February 26, 2000, at 23:10:05
In reply to Re: Goodbye or something, I dont know, posted by Noa on February 26, 2000, at 23:03:27
I know his real name, I'll try calling the LAPD. I also have his therapist's names and #s. I will call them too. Can you think of anything else?
Janice
Posted by Janice on February 26, 2000, at 23:23:20
In reply to Goodbye or something, I dont know, posted by Vesper on February 26, 2000, at 22:29:07
I just spoke with his psychiatrist, and she is getting an ambulance right now. So hopefully, Vesper will be okay! Janice
Posted by Noa on February 26, 2000, at 23:26:23
In reply to vesper, posted by Janice on February 26, 2000, at 23:23:20
Thank you, Janice. I am so glad you were online just now.
I tried emailing him, but my email is functioning very slowly, the messages seem to take a long time to get sent.
Thank you. Do you think you will hear whether the ambulance made it and he is ok?
Posted by Brenda on February 26, 2000, at 23:43:40
In reply to Noa..., posted by Janice on February 26, 2000, at 23:10:05
> I know his real name, I'll try calling the LAPD. I also have his therapist's names and #s. I will call them too. Can you think of anything else?
>
> JaniceMy God - is he going to be okay? Has this happened before? Janice/Noa, please let us know. What can we do?
Posted by Janice on February 26, 2000, at 23:45:36
In reply to Re: vesper, posted by Noa on February 26, 2000, at 23:26:23
Actually I have been trying to keep track of him, and it wasn't too hard because he is wonderfully honest and open.
He hadn't been responding to his e-mails at home for about a half hour, and this is why I came to psychobabble.
I won't hear about the ambulance, but I can call his therapist on Monday or Tuesday (she also got a message).
Maybe Vesper will post, if he is up to it.
I'm glad I didn't have to call the LAPD. they would have been my next step, I guess - if I couldn't get an ambulance any other way.
Off to bed, well maybe some mindless tv for a bit. Janice
take care Noa. It's hard to even imagine that kind of pain!
Posted by Noa on February 26, 2000, at 23:47:00
In reply to Re: Noa..., posted by Brenda on February 26, 2000, at 23:43:40
I don't know if he has done this before, but earlier he was on the verge and Janice was terrific, getting in contact with him and his therapist to facilitate his going to the hospital on a voluntary admission. But then he didn't go, when his friend came into town.
I hope he'll be ok, hope that the ambulance got there fast. He needs to be in the hospital.
I don't know what else we can do.
Posted by AprilA on February 27, 2000, at 0:09:13
In reply to Re: Noa..., posted by Noa on February 26, 2000, at 23:47:00
> I don't know if he has done this before, but earlier he was on the verge and Janice was terrific, getting in contact with him and his therapist to facilitate his going to the hospital on a voluntary admission. But then he didn't go, when his friend came into town.
>
> I hope he'll be ok, hope that the ambulance got there fast. He needs to be in the hospital.
>
> I don't know what else we can do.I've been talking to UCLA hospital and apparently he's arrived. I'm glad you all have such sweet feelings for him because frankly I feel manipulated and abused. But Vesper if you get a chance to read this-You're an ace at it. I'm shaking so much I can hardly type. I can't stop crying. Do you think you are the only one who ever lost anyone to suicide?? Would it have been so hard to just go to the hospital yourself? I know you're in pain but why do everything you can to spread it around??
The hospital psych did the usual I can't give you any information routine ( after the first doc I talked to had already told me he was alright-that was so kind and human I hope he doesn't go into psych and grow cold and arrogant)
I'm really upset. I don't think these BB's are safe for people who already hurt. I can't stand feeling this way. Good night
Posted by AprilA on February 27, 2000, at 7:17:29
In reply to Re: He's OK, posted by AprilA on February 27, 2000, at 0:09:13
> > I don't know if he has done this before, but earlier he was on the verge and Janice was terrific, getting in contact with him and his therapist to facilitate his going to the hospital on a voluntary admission. But then he didn't go, when his friend came into town.
> >
> > I hope he'll be ok, hope that the ambulance got there fast. He needs to be in the hospital.
> >
> > I don't know what else we can do.
>
arri> I've been talking to UCLA hospital and apparently he's ved. I'm glad you all have such sweet feelings for him because frankly I feel manipulated and abused. But Vesper if you get a chance to read this-You're an ace at it. I'm shaking so much I can hardly type. I can't stop crying. Do you think you are the only one who ever lost anyone to suicide?? Would it have been so hard to just go to the hospital yourself? I know you're in pain but why do everything you can to spread it around??
> The hospital psych did the usual I can't give you any information routine ( after the first doc I talked to had already told me he was alright-that was so kind and human I hope he doesn't go into psych and grow cold and arrogant)
> I'm really upset. I don't think these BB's are safe for people who already hurt. I can't stand feeling this way. Good nightI had a really horrible night,thank you, but I've calmed down now. I wanted to say that I guess I must have read the message from Vesper and signed off to call the hospital in the few minutes before anyone else posted. I had no idea what to do. I really wish I'd been a few minutes later.
I knew Janice had his real name,etc but I didn't. I called UCLA hospital and all I could tell them was that he had been a day patient there. I got passed around to nursing supervisors,drs,etc. They didn't seem to be in really great communication with each other. I had to give them my name and phone # which creeped me out because I came here to be anonymous. They called me back 4 times. The last time they said they weren't sure if the person they had was the person that posted!!! By that time I had come back to check the board and saw all the other posts and knew it had been taken care of and told them that but who knows?? Why don't they communicate with each other. I felt really helpless.
I was so scared and upset. It was after midnight by then but I called my psychiatrist and talked to him a long time. I guess my main regret is that I didn't call Dr. Bob instead and wake him up (probably has an unlisted number).
So whats the proper response next time someone posts a Goodbye Cruel World note? No problem with people talking about suicide but what if they say they've taken action? Vesper had mentioned UCLA but what if you don't have a clue?
What should you do then?
I'm really glad Janice came by and took care of things. Wasn't it weird that 4 people came by in such a short time? I'm also glad V is okay. Well Good Morning everybody,A
Posted by Noa on February 27, 2000, at 7:37:08
In reply to Re: He's OK, posted by AprilA on February 27, 2000, at 7:17:29
April, I am sorry you had such a hard night. I was worried, too, but because of yours and Janice's posts, I was able to sleep.
I had already gone to bed before Vesper posted, but was having some "restless legs" (courtesy of Effexor plus some Coke I had at dinnertime), so I got up and signed on again, to find V's post, which had posted about 15 to 20 minutes earlier, I think.
I think it was lucky Janice was around. Otherwise, I don't know what I would have done. I thought about calling UCLA, but had no idea what info I could give them, as I don't know his real name either.
I tried emailing him, but for some reason, my email wasn't going through.
As for the feelings this engendered--anger, helplessness. I know you saw only the "sweet" feelings, but last night's post did make me angry on top of scared. When V did not check into the hospital after Janice helped, I was a bit irritated, but know he was distracted by his friend. I think of it this way: the frustration I feel must be just a shadow of what he feels about himself.
Still, it is reasonable to be conscious of what each of us can tolerate. For example, when Janice offered the help she did, I hope she did it with the awareness that he might not make use of it as she would like. I don't think V is trying to be manipulative, but perhaps the back and forth and up and down, and especially the dump and run, can feel that way, as you said last night. The question is, how can we be compassionate and still protect ourselves from feeling "abused" as you put it?
And, I think your questions for the board are good ones. Can we develop a way to deal with this kind of thing? I don't know. But it is definitely worth exploring more. I hope Dr. Bob will be part of this discussion.
Posted by Phil on February 27, 2000, at 10:02:42
In reply to Re: He's OK, posted by Noa on February 27, 2000, at 8:32:11
Janice, You're to be commended for what you did on Vesper's behalf.
I am deeply touched and moved at your compassion in action.
Let's all hope for the best for Vesper.Phil
Posted by Noa on February 27, 2000, at 10:11:25
In reply to Janice, above and beyond, posted by Phil on February 27, 2000, at 10:02:42
Phil, I agree.
Posted by Cam W. on February 27, 2000, at 10:29:40
In reply to Re: Janice, above and beyond, posted by Noa on February 27, 2000, at 10:11:25
To all - WOW! That was incredible!
Best wishes Vesper! - Cam W.
Posted by Noa on February 27, 2000, at 10:52:38
In reply to Re: Janice, above and beyond, posted by Cam W. on February 27, 2000, at 10:29:40
Any news if the ambulance made it and he made it to the ER ok?
Posted by Noa on February 27, 2000, at 10:53:49
In reply to Re: Janice, above and beyond, posted by Cam W. on February 27, 2000, at 10:29:40
Hope you are feeling calmer. Keep in touch.
Posted by AprilA on February 27, 2000, at 11:07:46
In reply to Re: He's OK, posted by Noa on February 27, 2000, at 8:32:11
> I don't know what happened to my post.
>
>
> >
.
>
> > What we feel probably just a shadow of what he feels. Q-how can we be compassionate and still take care of ourselves?
>
>
I don't agree with you at all. I don't think think acting on impulse is somehow an indicator of deeper feelings that we only feel a shadow of.
For me trying to get help for someone who announces he's trying to kill himself isn't really a choice. He takes the choice away when he announces it on a public forum.
I suspect this gesture relieved a certain amount of pain and anxiety and that what he feels now is probably only a shadow of what people who struggle with the same feelings and resist are feeling.
I don't really have anything further to add to this discussion. Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, AprilA has left the babble.
Posted by Noa on February 27, 2000, at 11:45:47
In reply to Re: He's OK, posted by AprilA on February 27, 2000, at 11:07:46
April, I hadn't thought of it that way. I gotta run now, but will be back later and do want to understand more of your perspective. Please.
I hope your leaving is temporary.
Posted by Janice on February 27, 2000, at 15:58:54
In reply to Re: He's OK, posted by Noa on February 27, 2000, at 11:45:47
Hi everyone,
As far as I know (I am assuming this because I believe I would have heard if things were otherwise), Vesper is alive and well - well maybe not well. I'm guessing he is pleased to find himself alive and in the hospital. I called the hospital - I am guessing like AprilA he is at the UCLA hospital. Anyway, I had no luck, as the phone operators are not too cooperative, and once they put you onto that machine, there is no hope to talk to another person. Last night, before I called his psychiatrist, I tried to get his number through these operators, and I quickly found out how useless they were - or at least seemed to be. Despite their reputation, the LAPD were much more helpful; and told me to call them back if I couldn't get his psychiatrist.If anyone knows the number to this hospital, I would love to have it. From the operators, I just kept getting numbers that had recordings and such. UGgggg! If not I will call his therapist tomorrow.
Thank you all for the lovely compliments! Whenever I read his postings, I felt like I already knew him from a long time ago, and felt like he was typing especially for me - although I know he wasn't. I guess I'm trying to say I felt/feel a strong connection to him for some reason.
AprilA - I don't know if you're still following this posting. I'm sorry this was so hard on you. Suicidal people, as far as I know, are not trying to be manipulative or get attention - These are just myths, kind of like we should be able to use our 'will power' to get out of our depression.
Trust me, Vesper was not able to think of anything but the incredible PAIN he was in, period. And everything he said were simply cries for help. Take especially good care of yourself AprilA. I'm sure we would all like for you to stay in touch.
I'll keep you updated on Vespers situation, as much as I am able to be. Janice
Posted by Vesper on February 27, 2000, at 21:52:43
In reply to Vesper, posted by Janice on February 27, 2000, at 15:58:54
I'm here and alive, and sorry to have caused you all such inconvenience. Tell me what you want me to do and I will do it. I think this forum would be better off without me, even if I survive.
Thank you and please don't thing I am ungrateful. I'm very confused and sick and I suppose what they call "high maintenence" at least at this time.
I don't really know what the word "manipulative" means, people are responsible for their own emotions and reactions to things. I just don't know what I need or want in terms of help, and I do selfish, stupid things out of frustration. I am really sorry.-V.
Posted by Cam W. on February 27, 2000, at 21:58:40
In reply to Re: Vesper, posted by Vesper on February 27, 2000, at 21:52:43
Vesper - Don't be a stranger, but do get some help. Sometimes our illnesses are more than we can deal with by ourselves, and we sometimes need help to see through the fog. Take care - Cam W.
Posted by Noa on February 27, 2000, at 22:11:17
In reply to Re: Vesper, posted by Vesper on February 27, 2000, at 21:52:43
I believe you sincerely are sorry.
I also agree you are confused. Sometimes emotions and impulse seem to come over you and take over. That is why you need to place yourself in the care of others who will keep you safe, while you develop a plan with them for treatment that will allow you to keep yourself safe, and start getting some control back, and start working toward a life of hope. But first you have to be safe.
I want you to admit yourself to the hospital.
Posted by Cass on February 27, 2000, at 22:47:00
In reply to Re: Vesper, posted by Vesper on February 27, 2000, at 21:52:43
I came into this drama a little late after missing a day here. After reading many of the posts, however, I certainly do not feel manipulated. You have no reason to apologize for your vulnerability. We would all be apologizing if that were the case. I think there is a strong connection between you and the others members here. I wish you would stay. Best wishes.
Posted by Cindy W on February 28, 2000, at 9:24:19
In reply to Re: Vesper, posted by Cass on February 27, 2000, at 22:47:00
> I came into this drama a little late after missing a day here. After reading many of the posts, however, I certainly do not feel manipulated. You have no reason to apologize for your vulnerability. We would all be apologizing if that were the case. I think there is a strong connection between you and the others members here. I wish you would stay. Best wishes.
Vesper, I was out of town this weekend and missed the drama! But I agree with Cam and hope you get some help soon. Keep us posted. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness, and things can only get better with help.--Cindy W
Posted by AprilA on February 28, 2000, at 15:54:25
In reply to Re: He's OK, posted by AprilA on February 27, 2000, at 0:09:13
> > I don't know if he has done this before, but earlier he was on the verge and Janice was terrific, getting in contact with him and his therapist to facilitate his going to the hospital on a voluntary admission. But then he didn't go, when his friend came into town.
> >
> > I hope he'll be ok, hope that the ambulance got there fast. He needs to be in the hospital.
> >
> > I don't know what else we can do.
>
frankly I feel manipulated and abused. But Vesper if you get a chance to read this-You're an ace at it. I'm shaking so much I can hardly type. I can't stop crying. Do you think you are the only one who ever lost anyone to suicide?? Would it have been so hard to just go to the hospital yourself? I know you're in pain but why do everything you can to spread it around??
I apologize for saying you were an ace at it and asking you why you feel the need to spread pain around. These remarks were neither kind nor useful.
I also think you should recognize that no matter how manipulated I felt I gave you the benefit of the doubt and had just spent over an hour talking to people at UCLA trying to track you down and help you. This was my decision and I would do the same for any other person who posted a note identical to yours. This was extremely difficult for me and I was under a great deal of stress when I wrote that message.
Everything I wrote was in direct response to the posting in which you stated you had taken an O
D with alcohol. It is not a comment nor reflection on any prior posting or postings you may have written.
I have never suggested you leave the board or anything else. I think you should make your own decision. I certainly would not presume to give you advice, but I do sincerely hope you will find a way to have a happier life. Best Wishes A.
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