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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by AndrewB on February 24, 2000, at 6:09:24
My dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer today. I was at the doctor's office. I asked the doctor whether my father would benefit from an antidepressant. My father says, due to his poor helath and deminished capabilities, that he is useless now and that he has nothing to live for. I said that even when one has deminished capabilities, you should still be able to get a sense of accomplishment from the little things in life and you should feel there is something to live for and that an antidepressant might help him feel this way. The doctor however talked with my dad and said that my dad had good reason to feel the way he did and that an antidepressant wouldn't help. That's how it went. Any thoughts????
Posted by Cam W. on February 24, 2000, at 6:44:25
In reply to Poor Health and Depression, posted by AndrewB on February 24, 2000, at 6:09:24
> My dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer today. I was at the doctor's office. I asked the doctor whether my father would benefit from an antidepressant. My father says, due to his poor helath and deminished capabilities, that he is useless now and that he has nothing to live for. I said that even when one has deminished capabilities, you should still be able to get a sense of accomplishment from the little things in life and you should feel there is something to live for and that an antidepressant might help him feel this way. The doctor however talked with my dad and said that my dad had good reason to feel the way he did and that an antidepressant wouldn't help. That's how it went. Any thoughts????
Andrew - Sorry to here the news. The doctor might have thought that giving an antidepressant now may give your dad more discomfort than he is already in ( esp. side effects). I don't blame your dad for not wanting the antidepressants; these medications won't fix anything and won't give him anymore will to live. Your dad has a good reason to feel depressed. Have you talked with your dad about his decision? Instead of drugs, maybe some counseling, for all the family, will help all of you through this terrible time. It really does do some good to talk about it.. My family's thoughts are with you. Please keep us posted. Thinking of you - Cam W.
Posted by Phil on February 24, 2000, at 7:13:10
In reply to Re: Poor Health and Depression, posted by Cam W. on February 24, 2000, at 6:44:25
Andrew, So sorry to hear that news. My mother died of cancer 5 years ago. People with cancer are often bombarded with suggestions from very well meaning family members and friends.
To me, the best we can do is be there and listen. You being there with your father says a lot.Sincerely,
Phil
Posted by Noa on February 24, 2000, at 7:45:26
In reply to Re: Poor Health and Depression, posted by Phil on February 24, 2000, at 7:13:10
What about a consult from a psychiatris specializing in patients with cancer?
Posted by ChrisK on February 24, 2000, at 8:59:35
In reply to Poor Health and Depression, posted by AndrewB on February 24, 2000, at 6:09:24
Andrew,
My father was diagnosed with throat cancer about 7 years ago. He eventually died two years ago of causes not related to the cancer. He spent a couple of years on Chemo and Radiation which left him to the point where he couldn't swallow anything more than soup stock. The best thing we could do was to keep him active as much as possible. My parents still went out to dinner on Friday night even though he couldn't eat anything substantial. It was just a matter of keeping my father as active as possible. Eventually he gained enough strength back to rejoin his golf league.
I don't know how seriously terminal your father is but the one thing my family found was that it was good therapy to try not to change the things that kept him going in the first place. (if that makes sense) As much as possible, push him to keep doing the things he enjoys and is still capable of doing. It's not always easy but it can keep the spirits high enough to fight through the disease.
I will keep you and your father in my prayers. Let us know how you are doing through this.
Chris
Posted by CarolAnn on February 24, 2000, at 10:17:02
In reply to Poor Health and Depression, posted by AndrewB on February 24, 2000, at 6:09:24
I would check with local hospitals to see if there are any support groups of terminal patients. Maybe talking to people, who know what it's like, would be helpful. At least, it might help your father feel less alone. It might be hard to convince him to join a group, but I think it would be worth a try. Bless you both.CarolAnn
Posted by Noa on February 24, 2000, at 11:46:36
In reply to Re: maybe a support group?, posted by CarolAnn on February 24, 2000, at 10:17:02
or a support group for YOU?
Posted by medlib on February 24, 2000, at 18:12:17
In reply to Poor Health and Depression, posted by AndrewB on February 24, 2000, at 6:09:24
Andrew-
I'm so sorry about your dad. You and he face difficult times ahead; simple physical presence and physical contact (harder for men, I know) make a big difference.I lost my mom last year after a long and painful illness. Our local hospice organization made all the difference to me and to her in the last six months of her life; they enabled her to fulfill her last wish (to die in her own home of 58 years). In my community they are an arm of VNA (Visiting Nurses Association), their services are free to the patient (paid by Medicare) and they work with the patient's own doctor. If you would like to know more, I'd be glad to provide more details to your e-mail address, if provided.
Also, may I recommend a book? It's called "Dying Well" by Ira Byock. Both you and your father might find it helpful.
It is important to take care of yourself so you can be there for your dad. Let us know what we can do to help you with that. When the wind blows away all the superfluous chaff of life, all that's left is love. Best wishes
medlib> My dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer today. I was at the doctor's office. I asked the doctor whether my father would benefit from an antidepressant. My father says, due to his poor helath and deminished capabilities, that he is useless now and that he has nothing to live for. I said that even when one has deminished capabilities, you should still be able to get a sense of accomplishment from the little things in life and you should feel there is something to live for and that an antidepressant might help him feel this way. The doctor however talked with my dad and said that my dad had good reason to feel the way he did and that an antidepressant wouldn't help. That's how it went. Any thoughts????
Posted by AndrewB on February 24, 2000, at 23:58:35
In reply to Re: Poor Health and Depression, posted by Cam W. on February 24, 2000, at 6:44:25
Thank you everybody for your choice information and advice. Me and my dad may be the better for it. Also thank you for your loving concern and prayers, they make me feel less alone. I hope I can make my dad feel less isolated through all this.
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