![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 48 to 72 of 86. Go back in thread:
Posted by just so sad on March 1, 2005, at 13:26:46
In reply to Re: meeting tonite in open pc /any who want to join » crushedout, posted by partlycloudy on March 1, 2005, at 12:02:43
Posted by crushedout on March 1, 2005, at 13:29:34
In reply to 7 pm in what time zone?? (nm), posted by just so sad on March 1, 2005, at 13:26:46
Posted by crushedout on March 1, 2005, at 13:35:50
In reply to Re: meeting tonite in open pc /any who want to join » crushedout, posted by just so sad on March 1, 2005, at 13:25:33
Congrats on not drinking, not so sad (we need to change your name)!I hope someone will jump in and correct me if I'm not explaining this to you correctly: open is a Yahoo chat room. There's a link to it all the way at the bottom (righthand corner) of the substance abuse page (or any babble page, I think). If you don't already have a yahoo ID you have to set one up (or you may want to create a new name as "just so" or "not so sad" so that we recognize you). I think it's fairly self-explanatory, but I'm not positive.
Then you enter "chat" to get into the room. Sometimes Yahoo acts up but lately it's been better than it used to be, I think.
Does anyone have better directions for justsosad than these?
Posted by just so sad on March 1, 2005, at 13:38:45
In reply to open » just so sad, posted by crushedout on March 1, 2005, at 13:35:50
Posted by crushedout on March 1, 2005, at 17:57:20
In reply to Re: meeting tonite in open pc /any who want to join » crushedout, posted by partlycloudy on March 1, 2005, at 12:02:43
Posted by partlycloudy on March 2, 2005, at 9:02:39
In reply to I'm in open (nm), posted by crushedout on March 1, 2005, at 17:57:20
The anxiety yesterday and even after chat (which was great in that it was wonderful to meet you, crushed, and just so sad); but the evening did not turn out as planned. I never even really got on the wagon before I jumped off again. What on earth is wrong with what I'm doing? It's like an OCD behaviour, I swear! I didn't get blotto or anything, just felt I *had* to have a glass of wine. So much for good intentions.
I don't really feel like a failure - this in itself must be progress of some kind - but creating a deadline for myself was not something I reacted well to. Come to think of it, they always freaked me out at school, too.
Gahhhh.
Posted by just so sad on March 2, 2005, at 10:52:57
In reply to I'm *really* no good at this » crushedout, posted by partlycloudy on March 2, 2005, at 9:02:39
If we were good at this, we wouldn't be looking for help from each other! Don't beat yourself up. I had bloodwork to get done this morning, so last night I had a *bottle* of wine after two days of no alcohol at all, and I think subconsiously I want to get some bad news - you know, that my liver is shot or something horrendous, to scare me into quitting. But back to you - just keep trying - I know how hard it is when that little voice in your head is saying not to drink, while your hands are opening the bottle...
Sad
Posted by crushedout on March 2, 2005, at 10:54:46
In reply to I'm *really* no good at this » crushedout, posted by partlycloudy on March 2, 2005, at 9:02:39
PC,
I'm really glad you don't see it as a failure. Slips are supposed to be a part of recovery, so maybe you can see this as progress and learn from whatever happened. I guess also the "deadline" method of quitting might not work for everyone.
I just think that usually the waking up after a bad night of drinking and quitting when you're regretful seems like an ineffective way to quit.
Can folks think of alternatives? I bet there are some, but I can't think of what they would be.
PC, maybe you weren't ready even though you thought you were? Or maybe you are but you wanted to rebel for one night, or test the waters? What do you think? Do you want to keep trying the sobriety thing with me?
I'll be ok either way. I'm pretty firmly committed to not drinking at this point. I have a way of doing things very firmly once I decide (it takes me forever sometimes to make a decision though). But I welcome your company.
Posted by AuntieMel on March 2, 2005, at 11:29:45
In reply to I'm *really* no good at this » crushedout, posted by partlycloudy on March 2, 2005, at 9:02:39
Were you rebellious as a kid? I was - out of self defense mostly, but rebellious for sure.
The one thing that kept me drinking longer was being nagged by family members. They, by golly, weren't going to dictate what I do! I'll show them!
Maybe deadlines do the same thing to you? 'I'll do it when I'm darn good and ready, not because of some arbitrary date.'
Of course the little addiction critter in our head will always tell us it's not time. It's the critter's job. Our job is to tell the critter to go take a flying <insert favorite word here>
Posted by just so sad on March 2, 2005, at 11:54:37
In reply to Re: I'm *really* no good at this » partlycloudy, posted by AuntieMel on March 2, 2005, at 11:29:45
Posted by partlycloudy on March 2, 2005, at 12:00:48
In reply to PC - want to talk in Open? (nm), posted by just so sad on March 2, 2005, at 11:54:37
Posted by partlycloudy on March 2, 2005, at 12:24:51
In reply to Re: I'm *really* no good at this » partlycloudy, posted by AuntieMel on March 2, 2005, at 11:29:45
WhenI was a kid, I was always good at cowering, and taking blame. Rebellion for me has always been internal and self destructive - like this drinking thing is.
I think I will go back to the sneaking up on sobriety tactic that worked last week. I'll get that bugger.
pc
Posted by partlycloudy on March 2, 2005, at 13:07:05
In reply to PC - want to talk in Open? (nm), posted by just so sad on March 2, 2005, at 11:54:37
Let me know if you want to talk more about your vacation!
Posted by just so sad on March 2, 2005, at 14:29:07
In reply to Just So Sad, posted by partlycloudy on March 2, 2005, at 13:07:05
I will - but my day just got crazy so it'll have to be later - would we arrange a time/place in open?? Also I need to think of a way to tell my hubby I'm going to have coffee with someone once we arrive...I know he'll have an opinion about it(negative).
Posted by partlycloudy on March 2, 2005, at 14:44:03
In reply to Re: Just So Sad » partlycloudy, posted by just so sad on March 2, 2005, at 14:29:07
sure, how about 7pm tonight again? And my husband had the same reaction - who wouldn't? - until he met NikkiT2 and he said:
"but she is so Normal!!"
...not that someone would have that reaction upon meeting *me*! But, hey - whatever is the least stressful for you, is OK with me :) And the only reason that he didn't say the same thing when I met up with Racer is because he wasn't with me - but he also wasn't concerned by then.It's pretty cool to meet another babbler face to face, though. And meeting at a Starbucks is a nice, public, safe place to meet up.
We'll talk later.
pc
Posted by just so sad on March 2, 2005, at 17:04:35
In reply to Re: Just So Sad, posted by partlycloudy on March 2, 2005, at 14:44:03
I'm out tonight - I'll check in with you tomorrow. It's great you understand!
Sad
Posted by partlycloudy on March 4, 2005, at 7:10:14
In reply to Re: Just So Sad » partlycloudy, posted by just so sad on March 2, 2005, at 17:04:35
It's a wobbly wagon, but it's all I have.
Posted by antigua on March 4, 2005, at 10:16:35
In reply to And it's Day 2... » just so sad, posted by partlycloudy on March 4, 2005, at 7:10:14
I've been out of touch lately, but I wanted to throw my support your way once I read this thread. You can do it! I know you can. I have faith in you. I've been working on this for 20 months now. I've certainly had my share of slips, but I just keep on trying. Once you get some time behind you (and you've been there, right?) you will feel more confident.
I've had to watch out for success too, though, when my life seems to be going relatively "fine" and then I have a really bad episode. (But it's been more than six months now!) That's the way it works for me sometimes. My T pointed out success is probably more dangerous than failure for me, as it triggers so many things. You just have to be constantly vigilent, at least in the beginning I have to be. Sometimes when I'm in the car (so nobody can hear me) and the urge is so overwhelming, I just scream at the addiction monster and drown him out (of course it's a he) so that I can drive past the liquor store w/o stopping.
Just pick yourself up and keep trying.
Sorry to sound bossy, but I know how much you want this. You have done so incredibly well this past year and I have faith in you. Remember, you are not alone, and other people have licked this and you can too.best,
antigua
Posted by AuntieMel on March 4, 2005, at 10:27:35
In reply to And it's Day 2... » just so sad, posted by partlycloudy on March 4, 2005, at 7:10:14
I went to family night on Wednesday and people were cheering on the folks with 8 days as much as or more than those with many, many more.
Think of a ruler, but one with most of the numbers scrunched into the beginning, gradually getting further and further apart. The ruler is 12 inches long. This represents the first year of sobriety.
Of the 12 months, 90 percent of the pain is in the first nine months.
Of the first 9 months, 90 percent of the pain is in the first 6 months.
Of the first 6 months, 90 percent of the pain is in the first three months.
In the first 3 months, 90 percent of the pain is in the first month.
And in the first month, 90 percent of the pain is in the first week.
So - after the first week, you've handled 60% of the pain of the first year.
By the first month you've handled 66%. By the third you've handled 73%, 81% by six months, and so on.
Bottom line is that more than half the battle is the first week.
You are 2/7 of the way to saying you've fought half the battle.
Concentrate on that, and don't think of two days as nothing.
Posted by just so sad on March 4, 2005, at 10:29:46
In reply to Re: And it's Day 2... » partlycloudy, posted by antigua on March 4, 2005, at 10:16:35
Hey - how did you do last night? I had another bottle of wine. We have these huge glasses, and one bottle is only 3 glasses. I think - no, I SWEAR TO YOU - from now on I'm using the old Candian Tire glasses!
Good luck tonight - the weekends are the worst, eh?
God - I'm so canadian today!
Posted by crushedout on March 4, 2005, at 10:37:15
In reply to Re: And it's Day 2..., posted by just so sad on March 4, 2005, at 10:29:46
PC, I think it's great that you jumped back on. That's the best thing you could have done. No matter how wobbly you feel, you're trying to do this, to take care of yourself.I think antigua's post was right on.
Me, I guess I'm on Day 4 now. Not drinking is not the hard part. Being alive is. I'm a mess. Really freaked out about my life and having a heck of a time getting out of bed. All I want to do is hide under the covers.
Posted by partlycloudy on March 4, 2005, at 10:43:47
In reply to Re: And it's Day 2..., posted by just so sad on March 4, 2005, at 10:29:46
Do you still get the Canadian Tire money with the Scottish guy on it? I thought the stuff was real when I was a kid.
We have these "white wine" glasses that will take a half a bottle at a time.I will probably be posting a lot this weekend. My husband has to work out of town.
"Danger, Will Robinson! Danger" (arms flailing)
pc
Posted by partlycloudy on March 4, 2005, at 10:46:54
In reply to Re: And it's Day 2... » partlycloudy, posted by antigua on March 4, 2005, at 10:16:35
I'm not afraid of success so much as unprepared for it. When I was sober for a year (OMG, really?) it was the only thing going right in my life at that time. Now I have so much going for me in every respect except for this drinking thang. It's a part of me that is sabotaging my good intentions.
But I'm not giving up. Being sober feels good.
thanks so much, Antigua.
Posted by partlycloudy on March 4, 2005, at 10:49:50
In reply to Re: And it's Day 2... » partlycloudy, posted by AuntieMel on March 4, 2005, at 10:27:35
In cars, you know how you have a J*s*s handle, one that you hang on to on the passenger door side during a wild ride and yell, "J*s*s!!"?
I want one of those right now.
But like I said to Antigua, it does feel good to be sober. At least you're feeling something.
pc
Posted by AuntieMel on March 4, 2005, at 13:44:00
In reply to Re: And it's Day 2... » just so sad, posted by partlycloudy on March 4, 2005, at 10:43:47
You've got my number if you need a human voice.
Go forward in thread:
Psycho-Babble Substance Use | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.