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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Larry Hoover on April 2, 2005, at 13:22:47
In reply to Good gravy, let it rest. (nm) » Larry Hoover, posted by TofuEmmy on April 2, 2005, at 13:02:35
The help I will. I started a new thread, as Doc John terminated the last one by disabling the reply button.
http://forums.psychcentral.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=135684&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=&fpart=1
Posted by TofuEmmy on April 2, 2005, at 13:33:38
In reply to Re: Good gravy, let it rest. » TofuEmmy, posted by Larry Hoover on April 2, 2005, at 13:22:47
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 2, 2005, at 13:39:11
In reply to Re: Good gravy, let it rest. » TofuEmmy, posted by Larry Hoover on April 2, 2005, at 13:22:47
> The help I will. I started a new thread, as Doc John terminated the last one by disabling the reply button.
>
> http://forums.psychcentral.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=135684&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=&fpart=1Of all the things to get on a soapbox about.. geez
Posted by ed_uk on April 2, 2005, at 13:45:16
In reply to Re: Pfizer link offensive » TofuEmmy, posted by Larry Hoover on April 2, 2005, at 12:59:27
Hello Larry :-)
>I think the logo showed poor judgment.......
I must admit that I didn't see it... but it does sound rather tasteless to me.
>Antidepressants are not "Happy Pills".
Well, I must say, I've taken plenty of antidepressants and none of them have made me happy. I do think I've gained some slight benefit but I've also suffered numerous side effects as well.
I am sorry that you were offended. It seems strange that Dr. Grohol blocked replies, how frustrating.
Kind regards,
Ed.
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 2, 2005, at 13:51:29
In reply to Re: Good gravy, let it rest. » Larry Hoover, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 2, 2005, at 13:39:11
Posted by Larry Hoover on April 2, 2005, at 15:48:58
In reply to Re: Pfizer link offensive » Larry Hoover, posted by ed_uk on April 2, 2005, at 13:45:16
> I am sorry that you were offended. It seems strange that Dr. Grohol blocked replies, how frustrating.
>
> Kind regards,
> Ed.Thanks, Ed. I've had much different sorts of reactions from other people.
I started a new thread to make clear just what it was that offended me, and Poof! it's gone. That is how things are managed, yonder. Not a word from the administrator. Just Poof!
Just for the record (as the record itself went Poof!), I compared an hypothetical banner, which might read "Forums Sponsored by Pfizer" to the actual one "Pfizer Happy Pills Forums". They are non-equivalent, and it is precisely the nature of the non-equivalence which is offensive. The only place you see the phrase "happy pills" is in the lay press, or coming from the mouth of one of the "ignorant masses" (sorry, but stereotypes can be useful). I've never ever heard that phrase used in an empathetic or considerate way. It perpetuates a stigma, one directed specifically at an identifiable disabled group, the depressed. One must always be on guard against agents which perpetuate these stigmae, lest their messages become internalized. A mental health professional ought never be seen to invigorate such misperceptions.
I PM'd Doc John, and he was dismissive, and refused to discuss my concerns.
I didn't much care for the environment before (too many annoying little smiley thingies), and I find I like it less today. We'll see how I feel when a little time has passed.
Lar
Posted by Dinah on April 2, 2005, at 16:40:04
In reply to Re: Pfizer link offensive » ed_uk, posted by Larry Hoover on April 2, 2005, at 15:48:58
((((Lar))))
FWIW, I think everyone's experience should be respected. What's humor to one person is frequently hurtful to another, and while that shouldn't stop humor in its tracks, I think the hurt should at least be acknowledged.
We all bring our own experiences into any given situation, and I for one have been told to lighten up one or two times too many. So feel free to express your displeasure to me.
When I saw it, I remembered it was April Fools Day, and while I didn't find it particularly amusing, I also didn't find it particularly offensive. But tons of people Love Lucy, while I usually have to change the channel because I'm writhing in embarassment.
One of my least favorite attitudes toward jokes is that they need to have a target to be funny. I've even quit laughing at lawyer jokes. And I'll stop laughing at pdoc jokes really soon, I promise. :)
I find Dr. Bob one of the funniest guys alive (other than my husband and Rowan Atkinson and Weird Al and Lemony Snicket and a few other professionals), but I've had a few people tell me they find his humor hurtful. And I *think* it's been my experience that he apologizes if he discovers that his humor has offended.
Which is my long winded way of saying humor is not just humor. And that the receiver of humor can interpret it in as many ways as it can be meant, and not necessarily the way that it was intended.
So Lar, I'll put a comradely arm around your shoulders and tell you "No need to lighten up! You're entitled to your reaction.", just as I'd tell Emmy she doesn't need to stop laughing. I understand why you're upset, even if I'm not upset myself. And I understand why Emmy finds it funny, even if I didn't.
(But poofing tho. If Dr. Bob is disappointed that the gated communities didn't drive me from Babble, he could try again with poofing. My therapist is trying to teach me that the best way to deal with discord in a relationship is to respectfully address it, anger and all. But I think I prefer my family of origin where anger was expressed disrespectfully and clung to forever to a family where discord got poofed. That's just me. I wonder if there have been any studies on the matter. But for those who like an anger/discord poofed environment, that's cool too. We all have our ways of dealing with things.)
Posted by alexandra_k on April 2, 2005, at 16:40:27
In reply to Re: Pfizer link offensive » ed_uk, posted by Larry Hoover on April 2, 2005, at 15:48:58
> > I am sorry that you were offended. It seems strange that Dr. Grohol blocked replies, how frustrating.
Thats how things tend to be dealt with... Instead of blocking people I suppose.
> I started a new thread to make clear just what it was that offended me, and Poof! it's gone. That is how things are managed, yonder. Not a word from the administrator. Just Poof!
Yup.
Not even an explanation.
> I PM'd Doc John, and he was dismissive, and refused to discuss my concerns.Yup. Thats how you are supposed to deal with admin issues - for all the good it actually does you...
I understand your upset Larry.
I find it a little tasteless myself.
But that is probably coloured by my seeing the whole idea of April Fools as tasteless. We don't really do it over here (thank God). It is the first of April and I managed to make a fool of you. Charming. Charming indeed.
Posted by Dinah on April 2, 2005, at 16:54:56
In reply to Re: Pfizer link offensive, posted by alexandra_k on April 2, 2005, at 16:40:27
> It is the first of April and I managed to make a fool of you. Charming. Charming indeed.
>
>
Chuckle. You've captured my sentiments on the subject. I wonder where the custom came from?And don't get me started on practical jokes. Those seem like thinly veiled hostility to me. But then I've often been accused of being humorless.
Posted by alexandra_k on April 2, 2005, at 16:58:11
In reply to April first » alexandra_k, posted by Dinah on April 2, 2005, at 16:54:56
IMO there is a difference between laughing WITH someone and laughing AT someone...
But IMO Americans have a funny sense of humour at times...
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 2, 2005, at 17:02:31
In reply to Re: Pfizer link offensive, posted by alexandra_k on April 2, 2005, at 16:40:27
Did anyone really think Dr. John was insinuating that Happy Pills really exist? It looked to me like he was mocking Pfizers (and other drug companies advertising campaigns not people with depression--quite the opposite, empathising with the b.s they have to listen to.
Posted by Dinah on April 2, 2005, at 17:02:51
In reply to Re: April first » Dinah, posted by alexandra_k on April 2, 2005, at 16:58:11
We aren't monolithic you know. :)
Posted by alexandra_k on April 2, 2005, at 17:04:06
In reply to April first » alexandra_k, posted by Dinah on April 2, 2005, at 16:54:56
I wasn't quite sure what you meant by 'poofing'. Do you mean that posts just vanish out of thin air??
If so then I have also expressed that that might be the one thing that would drive me from Babble. People vanishing my posts (that aren't grossly uncivil).
I am reminded of something on the FAQ's here. About how when you join up it takes you a bit to learn what the rules are and learn that you have to play by them. Once you get that then you tend to be accepted by the community.
I never felt that I was properly accepted at PC - but then I was still getting a grip on what the rules were and I made the decision that I would rather leave than play by them.
Posted by Dinah on April 2, 2005, at 17:05:47
In reply to Re: April first » Dinah, posted by alexandra_k on April 2, 2005, at 17:04:06
Yeah, I was just echoing Lar's phraseology.
Maybe it's nothing more than I HATE not knowing what's going on. :)
Posted by Larry Hoover on April 2, 2005, at 17:18:58
In reply to Re: April first » Dinah, posted by alexandra_k on April 2, 2005, at 17:04:06
> I wasn't quite sure what you meant by 'poofing'. Do you mean that posts just vanish out of thin air??
The whole thread just disappeared, and there is not the slightest evidence that it even existed. Not a PM to explain the disappearance. Nothing. Just a vanishing act. Seems very much like what the Soviets did with their history books. Disappear the evidence. Ignore the living.
Lar
Posted by Larry Hoover on April 2, 2005, at 17:19:31
In reply to Humor » Larry Hoover, posted by Dinah on April 2, 2005, at 16:40:04
> ((((Lar))))
>
> FWIW, I think everyone's experience should be respected. What's humor to one person is frequently hurtful to another, and while that shouldn't stop humor in its tracks, I think the hurt should at least be acknowledged.Thank you. Thank you, very much.
Lar
Posted by ed_uk on April 2, 2005, at 18:12:25
In reply to Re: Pfizer link offensive » ed_uk, posted by Larry Hoover on April 2, 2005, at 15:48:58
Hi Lar!
>I started a new thread to make clear just what it was that offended me, and Poof! it's gone. That is how things are managed, yonder. Not a word from the administrator. Just Poof!
I don't like the idea of things just disappearing, I think everyone should be able to read your opinion Lar. It's not as if you said anything offensive.
>I've never ever heard that phrase used in an empathetic or considerate way.
No, me neither. I think people use it to trivialise depressive illness.
>too many annoying little smiley thingies
LOL :-)
Kind regards,
Ed.
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 2, 2005, at 18:32:34
In reply to Humor » Larry Hoover, posted by Dinah on April 2, 2005, at 16:40:04
Emmy's been hurt by this too.
Posted by alexandra_k on April 2, 2005, at 18:40:19
In reply to Re: April first » alexandra_k, posted by Larry Hoover on April 2, 2005, at 17:18:58
> The whole thread just disappeared, and there is not the slightest evidence that it even existed.
:-(
At least I got the comment that 'this post has been edited [vanished] because it is hardly supportive. Please do not attempt to armchair diagnose people on these forums' or something like that... But that was a misunderstanding of what I was doing... And I tried to explain (to make things better for everyone) but apparantly that was inappropriate as well... And I tried to explain (via PM) and that was ignored as well...>Not a PM to explain the disappearance. Nothing. Just a vanishing act. Seems very much like what the Soviets did with their history books. Disappear the evidence. Ignore the living.
(((Lar)))
Posted by alexandra_k on April 2, 2005, at 18:44:23
In reply to Re: Humor, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 2, 2005, at 18:32:34
> Emmy's been hurt by this too.
Yes.
It was supposed to be funny.
It was well intentioned.(((Emmy)))
I think there are a lot of hurts between the boards. A lot of people are here because they have been hurt there, and a lot of people are there because they have been hurt here.
I do believe that different people are better suited to the different environments that are fostered by different rules.
It is the rare few posters who feel at home with both.
Maybe it is best not to mention one in a different place because of peoples hurts. I don't know...
But I am sorry that the joke backfired.
I am sorry you got hurt.
Posted by Dinah on April 2, 2005, at 18:57:02
In reply to Re: Humor, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 2, 2005, at 18:32:34
Did I say she hadn't been?
Oh Gabbi, I said that Emmy had the right to think it was funny, and that I understood that she thought it was funny.
I know how much PsychCentral and Dr. Grohol mean to her, just like she knows how much Babble and Dr. Bob mean to me. I imagine it was especially rough for Emmy because she brought over what she considered a light hearted post here to Babble and it turned into something she didn't intend.
I always hate it when something like that happens with my posts.
I hate it when my friends aren't in charity with each other. Especially friends who seem to enjoy bantering as much as Lar and Emmy do. But I've found that all I can do is give them both a hug and say that I know they're feeling rotten, and I'm sorry. They'll work it out in their own time and their own way.
What I'd like to do is to tell Lar to tell Emmy that he's not upset with her, just Dr. Grohol for deleting his post and dismissing his concerns without validating them. And to tell Emmy that Lar can be angry with Dr. Grohol and have it have nothing to do with her. And then have them start a feelings dialogues, with lots of "When you.... I felt...." and it all end happily ever after with a big group hug.
But that never works, gosh darn it. At least not when I do it.
And then I'd want to give my dear Gabbi a hug too. And get one back.
Posted by Dinah on April 2, 2005, at 19:00:31
In reply to Re: Humor » Gabbi-x-2, posted by Dinah on April 2, 2005, at 18:57:02
Posted by Dinah on April 2, 2005, at 19:02:55
In reply to Re: Humor » Gabbi-x-2, posted by Dinah on April 2, 2005, at 18:57:02
(((((Gabbi)))))
(((((Emmy)))))
(((((Lar)))))
(((((Alexandra)))))
It might be unrealistic to hope for a group hug. But I'll give out some individual ones.
And take whatever I can get.
Posted by Dinah on April 2, 2005, at 19:19:14
In reply to Well, I can do part of that - on my end anyway., posted by Dinah on April 2, 2005, at 19:02:55
Ok, I was laughing at myself a bit, but...
When I have several friends involved in a relationship, I reserve the right to be biased toward all of them. And to try to understand why everyone's doing what they're doing. Because when good people are involved, there usually are reasons.
So I hope all my friends remember that. If I offer a hand of sympathy to one, it doesn't mean I'm withholding it from another.
And I'm not being neutral either.
I am being biased in favor of every one of you. Because you're all good people, and I know that.
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 2, 2005, at 19:49:47
In reply to Sigh, posted by Dinah on April 2, 2005, at 19:19:14
Dinah, you are one of my favorite people ever!
And no, that post was NOT directed toward you, even remotely. But we can still hug (((Dinah)))
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