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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 30 to 54 of 76. Go back in thread:
Posted by gardenergirl on July 19, 2004, at 18:15:05
In reply to Re: Ahhhh, it's not worth it. » Dinah, posted by AuntieMel on July 19, 2004, at 17:56:56
>
> I agree with you on that one! I think everyone has used much, much, much more energy than needed.
>I know that I have invested too much energy in this. I can't help but wonder how this thread may come across to others, and what effect on others' psyches it may have. But that's the T in training in me talking. :)
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on July 19, 2004, at 18:31:50
In reply to Re: Solidarity » partlycloudy, posted by partlycloudy on July 19, 2004, at 18:09:08
PC,
I'm so glad you aren't going away. That would surely be a loss. I hope that as things calm down here again, it will again feel safe. And I also hope that safe doesn't perhaps bore people enough to want to generate some "excitement".Take care,
gg
Posted by Dinah on July 19, 2004, at 18:39:54
In reply to Re: Ahhhh, it's not worth it., posted by gardenergirl on July 19, 2004, at 18:15:05
Yeah, I worry too. And I worry that my trying to make things better just makes them worse. And I worry all sorts of things. I certainly don't want to add to the negative ambience here.
I'm just so tired.
And sad. i'm sad.
Posted by pegasus on July 19, 2004, at 18:45:24
In reply to Re: Ahhhh, it's not worth it. » gardenergirl, posted by Dinah on July 19, 2004, at 18:39:54
I think babble is bigger than this little tiff. I mean, in a few weeks, we'll have moved on to other issues. Babble is like a community IRL where people come, people go, people get in conflict, people resolve conflict, people carry lifelong grudges, and they forgive each other, but the overall community is always there in the end.
At least, that's how I'm choosing to view this latest episode. I'm planning to still be here when the dust settles, to carry on as usual. I really hope all of you all will be there, too, but I support everyone to do what they think is best for them.
pegasus
Posted by Elle2021 on July 20, 2004, at 7:14:11
In reply to you know what?, posted by karen_kay on July 19, 2004, at 13:25:56
> i just try to keep in mind through this whole thing that this is a site for mental health, and that all of us have mental health issues, or we wouldn't be here.
I think that is such an excellent point, and one I always try to keep in mind when I read and write posts on here.
> is it really fair to try and run someone off.No.
>can't we forgive and just forget? try to jsut start over again? is that a viable option rather than throwing stones and turning someone away?
I have confidence that the Babblers here are capable of forgiveness. I wasn't involved in any of the conversations that are being spoke of here, but I did read them. Seems like both sides said some not-very-nice things. But, aren't we all guilty of saying at least one or two not-so-nice things in the past?
>i think we've done it for others, haven't we?
Yes, we have.
> go ahead, let me have it.. maybe this post will be what i'm talking about? as in talking too much and hoping for forgiveness? maybe not, but i'm still saying it since no one else is.....
Your a brave woman.
> ok, wincing as i hit submit :)Me too...
Posted by Elle2021 on July 20, 2004, at 7:18:27
In reply to Re: you know what? » karen_kay, posted by Dinah on July 19, 2004, at 13:48:18
> I don't really understand the motivations of a rabidly anti-therapist poster posting on a board devoted to therapy. The only possible point would be to try to convert people to an anti-therapy viewpoint. Unless I'm missing another possible intended result?
Kinda seemed to me as if he/she was trying to talk himself out of that idea of being anti-therapist. But, that's just my take on it.
Elle
Posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 8:04:36
In reply to Re: you know what? » Dinah, posted by Elle2021 on July 20, 2004, at 7:18:27
As I said, not my take on it. But you're as free to form your own conclusions as I am.
And I really have wasted enough energy on this. I will *not* post again on the subject of fires.
H*ll, y'all are free to start a "Please Come Back Fires" thread on PPB. It's no concern of mine. Everyone is welcome here as long as they follow Dr. Bob's civility guidelines, and Dr. Bob thinks fires' posts are fine. Therefore by definition, they're perfectly appropriate Babble posts.
Posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 8:12:44
In reply to Re: you know what? » Elle2021, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 8:04:36
I would never want to be rude to anyone, and if I was part of "driving him off" I'd like to make amends. I'm sure you guys will give him a warm welcome and help him feel right at home. Perhaps you could protect some of the other posters at the same time, and do a double good deed.
Posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 9:01:00
In reply to Re: I asked Fires to return., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 8:12:44
I'm sure those who were telling us that the PPB posters were treating Fires unkindly will want to be an example to the rest of us. Whenever I tell my husband he's loading the dishwasher wrong, I make sure I'm willing to load the dishwasher myself.
Posted by AuntieMel on July 20, 2004, at 10:54:06
In reply to Re: I asked Fires to return., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 8:12:44
And I do mean that. I think I was trying extra hard to to explain my feelings to you because your opinion means a lot to me.
Posted by DaisyM on July 20, 2004, at 11:38:38
In reply to Re: Very, Very Gracious of you - please read » Dinah, posted by AuntieMel on July 20, 2004, at 10:54:06
I've had my head under the pillow...
I've said before that since I have to be the "big boss/grownup" IRL I refuse to expend enormous amounts of energy being a diplomat here. I can't/don't want to fight the fight for the greater good. I'm impressed by all of you who do that for me. I want to get support (yesterday was a prime example of how critical Babble can be for some of us and was "Babble at its best!") and give support. I also like to have fun on occasion. The thread about the road trip had me smiling for days.
My solution is to avoid certain posters or not get involved in threads where I can't help. I like to debate as much as the next person (Rod and I have gone round about brain development) but sometimes it is just too personal. *sigh*
I'm sorry if this is a cop-out. But I miss some of the posters who left. And I'm tired of people leaving me...
Posted by zenhussy on July 20, 2004, at 13:20:58
In reply to Re: I asked Fires to return., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 8:12:44
Posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 13:31:42
In reply to What a magnanimous gesture (nm) » Dinah, posted by zenhussy on July 20, 2004, at 13:20:58
I don't like being bad. Enough people were saying we had been bad that I had to consider the possibility. I didn't really think we had been, but enough other people (and people I respect) thought we had that it would be silly not to consider it, right?
I feel no magnanimity towards someone whose posts caused me such pain. But how I feel has nothing to do with how I should behave.
I'll just avoid the d*mned board, that's all.
Posted by gabbix2 on July 20, 2004, at 14:12:06
In reply to Re: Hardly... » zenhussy, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 13:31:42
*This is Crap*
Fires said she was leaving when she accused people of posting under multiple names, she wasn't driven away.
Everyone here is in need of support and a safe place so I'm baffled at the justification for punishing those who need babble just as much, if not more than Fires, and driving them away only to haul out the fatted calf for a poster who unapologetically says things like
"What you're saying is 90% ****"
It's not like there aren't plenty of unmoderated boards out there for people who seem to like confrontation.
Posted by gabbix2 on July 20, 2004, at 14:15:02
In reply to What the Deuce???, posted by gabbix2 on July 20, 2004, at 14:12:06
Posted by pegasus on July 20, 2004, at 14:15:59
In reply to Re: Hardly... » zenhussy, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 13:31:42
Dinah and everyone else who is having a hard time with the psych board:
I really hope you don't decide to avoid the psych board. That board has been such a great help to so many people, including myself, because of the participation of all of you. I know this is a really difficult time, and feelings have definitely been hurt. And it's especially frustrating when we all don't agree with each other. And we all need to protect ourselves. So, just know that I will miss all of you very much if you go away.
I would really hate to see the psych board reduced to a shambles by one destructive element. So, I'm going to promise to stick around. I'm not a great poster, but I try to keep up as much as I can. I seem to be immune from the hurt feelings if I don't post to certain individual(s), so I'm good to stay.
Also, I think that the center of this storm seems to be changing tack. And he did get a PBC. So I'm hopeful that we can get back to normal soon.
pegasus
Posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 14:28:09
In reply to Re: Hardly... » zenhussy, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 13:31:42
I shouldn't have added the last sentence. I've never yet been able to stay away from Babble.
I don't know how to explain without making things worse... But I'll try one more time.
Being bad is the worst thing in the world to me. I'm not trying to be hypocritical in being nice to fires. Nor do I want any positive statements made about it, because my motive is just to not be a "bad girl". And I have a lot of mixed feelings about it, because I'm afraid it will hurt others, in which case I'll still have been bad even if I was trying not to be bad. Because standing by and letting people be hurt without doing something is very very bad. And doing something that makes it more likely that people will be hurt is very very very very very bad.
But being unkind is also bad.
It's confusing. But I'm doing my best.
Posted by partlycloudy on July 20, 2004, at 14:30:36
In reply to Sad about people going, posted by pegasus on July 20, 2004, at 14:15:59
I personally think that empathy, sympathy, compassion, curiousity, forgiveness, and turning a blind eye to an inciteful poster is more than enough kindness to extend. I think that this has been done already.
I think also that it's very telling that the Psych board gets its knickers into a twist (I've always wanted to use that expression in a post!) when a certain someone starts an incendiary event, leaving us all in a muddle and upset, and then gets the h@ll out of Dodge, and then, what do you know? comes back and does the same thing again!
I personally use the Psych board intermittently, but only because of my personal experiences with therapy - usually I just need to get something off my chest, whine, or beg for attention, for which this board is perfect! I'm not deterred from the Psych board by this bruhaha (another one I wanted to use!!).
pc
Posted by partlycloudy on July 20, 2004, at 14:35:25
In reply to Re: I'm sorry., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 14:28:09
Did you write for Abbott and Costello? And who's on first? (Couldn't resist!)
Dinah, you are a great person and it's obvious to all that you are a caring, compassionate Babble deputy. You are a champion.
Posted by gabbix2 on July 20, 2004, at 14:41:03
In reply to Re: I'm sorry. » Dinah, posted by partlycloudy on July 20, 2004, at 14:35:25
I agree with partlycloudy (Partycloud) *giggle*
Champion describes you perfectly
Posted by karen_kay on July 20, 2004, at 15:05:17
In reply to Re: Hardly... » zenhussy, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 13:31:42
are my eyes wrong? i clicked this post, thinking it was gabbi's! i swear on my life! when i looked up, i saw it was posted by dinah. and i'm still not disappointed. (not that i would be of course!)
and yet, my second reason to smile today. thank you ladies.... or, should i thank myself for being illiterate? no, i'll thank my middle school teachers for that one.
Posted by zenhussy on July 20, 2004, at 16:22:02
In reply to Re: I'm sorry., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 14:28:09
> Being bad is the worst thing in the world to me. I'm not trying to be hypocritical in being nice to fires. Nor do I want any positive statements made about it, because my motive is just to not be a "bad girl". And I have a lot of mixed feelings about it, because I'm afraid it will hurt others, in which case I'll still have been bad even if I was trying not to be bad. Because standing by and letting people be hurt without doing something is very very bad. And doing something that makes it more likely that people will be hurt is very very very very very bad.
> But being unkind is also bad.Examples of that kind of thinking are often used in books about CSA and the type of thinking that develops in survivors of CSA. Interesting. It is almost as if there isn't any way to be good enough ever with that type of thought process. Plus the mention of not being the bad girl really makes me curious as to why that is first and foremost the way to strive to be. I'm intrigued by the choices of words and the reasons for always seeking harmony even when harmony might not exist.
I seek no ongoing discourse but wanted to mention the things I found interesting here.
--zh
Posted by daisym on July 20, 2004, at 17:15:13
In reply to Seems I always have 2 cents lying around, posted by partlycloudy on July 20, 2004, at 14:30:36
>>>I think also that it's very telling that the Psych board gets its knickers into a twist (I've always wanted to use that expression in a post!) when a certain someone starts an incendiary event, leaving us all in a muddle and upset, and then gets the h@ll out of Dodge, and then, what do you know? comes back and does the same thing again!
HEY!!! I don't wear knickers (don't match the red shoes) and I don't even know where Dodge is. And, as I consider the Psych board "home" I'm not leaving either.
hmmm..knickers, now there's a thought for my sex homework. thanks for the help. :)
Posted by chicklet on July 20, 2004, at 17:23:20
In reply to Re: I'm sorry., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 14:28:09
(I'm Kar, from long ago)---
>>>> Being bad is the worst thing in the world to me.
and that you could never be..
I mean it.
you've been through this so many times in the past-
(every few months, it seems, huh?)You ARE doing your best. It's a challenging job. And your efforts are greatly appreciated.
Posted by chicklet on July 20, 2004, at 17:26:12
In reply to Re: I'm sorry., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 14:28:09
Your hair looks damn fine!
:D
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