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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by SandyWeb on July 12, 2004, at 17:32:07
In reply to Re: Sandy, posted by mystic on July 11, 2004, at 15:03:47
Hey all,
I may need to have my appointment moved up. I'm not feeling very safe with myself. There are thoughts setting in, and I am moving towards the veil.
BUT....I have to push those compelling emotions/thoughts away with POSITIVE LIFE-AFFIRMING thoughts.
So, shall we all do a 10? How about 10 reasons to stay alive.
1. To see my kids grow up into productive, happy adults.
2. To finish the book I'm reading! Ha!
3. To watch another thunder and lightening storm.
4. To hear the birds chirping.
5. To marvel at the photos coming from Saturn.
6. To experience the sharp smells of Fall.
7. To watch my kids grow up.
8. To watch my kids grow up.
9. To watch my kids grow up.
10. To watch my kids grow up.Who's next?
Sandy
Posted by partlycloudy on July 12, 2004, at 18:02:24
In reply to Shall We Do A 10?, posted by SandyWeb on July 12, 2004, at 17:32:07
10 reasons to stay alive.
1. To feed my cat Psycho and play incessantly with her when I'm home.
2. To get around to writing a book? A story? Something longer than a "best 10" list?
3. To live to the very end of my years with my loving husband.
4. To walk in the surf and catch glimspes of dolphins.
5. To give to others of my time, my attention, my affection; because I get so much more in return.
6. To be able to travel to places I've only dreamed of.
7. Because today is better than yesterday, which is more than I could have hoped for a year ago.
8. To feel that I'm a part of this world and all its energies.
9. To enjoy a wonderful meal, listen to wonderful music, and saturate all my senses.
10. Because I'm not done yet by a long shot.partycloudy
Posted by mystic on July 12, 2004, at 18:37:49
In reply to Shall We Do A 10?, posted by SandyWeb on July 12, 2004, at 17:32:07
Ok here we go...I'm in...
1. To enjoy life
2. To enjoy my wonderful beautiful grandson
3. To enjoy my daughter
4. To spend some relaxing enjoyable anxiety free
time with my husband
5. To travel to a island somewhere and just relax
6. To spend more time at the ocean I love the
ocean
7. To help others as they have helped me and be
here for Sandy if she needs me8. To live my life to the fullest with out
worries
9. To get up in the morning and see what a
wonderful life that I have and realize it
10. To spend time with my brothers and sisters who
I love very muchThanks Sandy that felt good..We love you and hope that your day got better but you had a great idea there a very positive one..I cant believe how proud I am of you!!!!!!!..you go girl..!!!..Your friend Mystic
Posted by SandyWeb on July 12, 2004, at 18:59:32
In reply to Re: Shall We Do A 10? » SandyWeb, posted by partlycloudy on July 12, 2004, at 18:02:24
Hey there PartyCloud (hee hee!),
So, you named your little kitty "Psycho". That is so funny! I love it!
Hugs,
Sandy
Posted by SandyWeb on July 12, 2004, at 19:01:21
In reply to Re: Shall We Do A 10?, posted by mystic on July 12, 2004, at 18:37:49
Hi Mystic,
An island and the ocean. Me thinks you like tranquility!
Have a wonderful day, my friend!!
((Mystic))
Sandy
Posted by mystic on July 13, 2004, at 17:39:19
In reply to Re: Shall We Do A 10? » mystic, posted by SandyWeb on July 12, 2004, at 19:01:21
Hey Sandy ...how about 3 things that were good about our day today...
1...Work was ok not to bad even with cranky patients.
2. I got to see my little Ryan (grandson) and my wonderful daughter today at lunchtime.mmmmm
3. I did arobics after work and it wasnt that bad
Now it is your turn Sandy I hope that you have 3 but if not you can just put one...Luvya Hope you had a good day...Your friend..Mystic
Posted by SandyWeb on July 15, 2004, at 8:32:28
In reply to RE:: Hey sandy, posted by mystic on July 13, 2004, at 17:39:19
Hi Mystic,
You did aerobics? Wow! I think every joint would be creaking and cracking if I did aerobics now! Lol! How about yoga instead?
Let's see....3 things good about my day:
1. My kitty escaped out into the apartment complex hallway, and I got him back before anyone saw him (and me in my jamies at that!!!)
2. It is a nice rainy day today, and it is fun to people-watch the miserable pedestrians! Lol!
3. I'm sitting here with a hot mug of chocolate coffee. Ahhhhhhhhh.......
I hope you are having a wonderful day yourself!!
(((Mystic)))
Sandy
Posted by LynneDa on July 15, 2004, at 8:57:11
In reply to RE:: Hey sandy » mystic, posted by SandyWeb on July 15, 2004, at 8:32:28
Hi Ladies -
I'm back from vacation and still trying to catch up!!!! I've read/glanced through most of the posts and am so glad to hear how well you all are doing!! I'll write more later, I'm also training a new recruiter this week so my time's sort of limited. Just wanted to say HI and you both sound so well!!!!
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Hi Mystic,
>
> You did aerobics? Wow! I think every joint would be creaking and cracking if I did aerobics now! Lol! How about yoga instead?
>
> Let's see....3 things good about my day:
>
> 1. My kitty escaped out into the apartment complex hallway, and I got him back before anyone saw him (and me in my jamies at that!!!)
>
> 2. It is a nice rainy day today, and it is fun to people-watch the miserable pedestrians! Lol!
>
> 3. I'm sitting here with a hot mug of chocolate coffee. Ahhhhhhhhh.......
>
> I hope you are having a wonderful day yourself!!
>
> (((Mystic)))
>
> Sandy
>
Posted by mystic on July 15, 2004, at 18:48:58
In reply to RE:: Hey sandy » mystic, posted by SandyWeb on July 15, 2004, at 8:32:28
AHHHH Sandy that was great....lets try again today I loved yours...
1. I saw the dr and it went well even though not sure of my decisions as to what direction to go it went well..
2..It is thursday and I dont have to work tomorrow I get to spend the day with Melissa and Ryan...
3.. My favorite show is on tonight Big Brother..mm
4.. I did arobics and lived..
5.. I feel pretty good today...
Sandy luvya hope you are doing good waiting to hear you list...Mystic
Posted by SandyWeb on July 16, 2004, at 9:38:05
In reply to RE:: Hey sandy, posted by mystic on July 15, 2004, at 18:48:58
Mystic,
I hope you realize that you've now made the list to be 5 answers required. You little stinker!
Okay, here's trying....
1. Again, I have my mug of chocolate coffee steaming beside me (my morning pleasure!)
2. Having the friendships of Mystic, PartlyCloudy (PartyCloud to those of us in the know!), and LynneDa to help keep me grounded! Thank you.
3. Being able to watch the wonders of nature, such as long shadows in the late afternoon.
4. Having movies and books delivered by the Library to my home since I can't get there myself.
5. Having two more days entirely to myself before my son comes back home from vacation with his grandparents. Ahhh, the sounds of silence!!!
Okay, stinker, I managed to list 5! Lol!
And your favorite show is Big Brother? I've never watched it, but I'm REALLY enjoying The Amazing Race.
Hugs,
Sandy
Posted by mystic on July 16, 2004, at 9:46:17
In reply to RE:: Hey sandy » mystic, posted by SandyWeb on July 16, 2004, at 9:38:05
Thank you thank you thank you sandy ...YOU DID GREAT GREAT GREAT..and yes i realized that I added on but promise to make it just 5 ...I'm so happy i have tears in my eyes as to you sitting there finding some comfort from you morning pleasure and finding things in your life that are making a small difference..and you should be very very proud of youself you have figured out what takes everyone a while to figure out that we are worth the fight ..we will fight it and get well and we are good parents and have the love to fight for them...
I will be back later to do my list and I hope that you have a great day...Take care my friend..thanks for making my day!!!!!..luvya Your friend Heidi
Posted by mystic on July 16, 2004, at 9:46:51
In reply to Re: Sandy, posted by SandyWeb on April 8, 2004, at 15:08:38
ps..yes Heidi is Mystic..hahahha just in case you didnt know..but i think that you would...bye bye
Posted by mystic on July 20, 2004, at 18:20:13
In reply to Re: Sandy, posted by SandyWeb on April 8, 2004, at 15:08:38
Ok wake up sandy..I need to hear from you now come on...you didnt make a list..so here is mine for the day...
Things I'm grateful for today:1..I just saw my wonderful little ryan and he puked alllll over me...
2. Work went well and it wasnt too stressful today.
3..I got to do arobics tonight which kicked my butt.
4. I ate some chocolate covered raisens i love them.
5..My favorite show is on tonight Big Brother and I'm going to relax and watch it..
6..Sorry Sandy but just remembered that I saw some beautiful flowers in my pots...
So hope you had a good day it has been a while..come on lets play..luvya Take care Mystic
Posted by mystic on July 21, 2004, at 6:51:40
In reply to Re: Sandy, posted by SandyWeb on April 8, 2004, at 15:08:38
SANDY SANDY SANDY...WHERE ARE YOU !!!!!!!!..MYSTIC
Posted by SandyWeb on July 21, 2004, at 10:40:58
In reply to Re: Sandy, posted by mystic on July 21, 2004, at 6:51:40
Don't worry, Mystic. Everything is going to be all right.
Sandy
Posted by mystic on July 21, 2004, at 19:08:28
In reply to Re: Sandy, posted by mystic on July 20, 2004, at 18:20:13
Now sandy that wasnt too much participation or too much information...tell me what is going on with you....mystic
Posted by SandyWeb on July 22, 2004, at 10:42:26
In reply to Re: Sandy, posted by mystic on July 21, 2004, at 19:08:28
Hi Mystic,
I had been posting here for a bit:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040706/msgs/366681.html
Now I'm going to try and live in the moment. I'm going to try and not project into the future (which, I have to admit, seems pretty bleak to me), and I'm going to try and steer clear of the past.
Ugh, I'm not sure how well I'll do with this...but I guess if I can stick around long enough for my kids to grow up, then I've achieved an INCREDIBLE success.
Okay, our 5 for the day:
1. I quit attending the sessions with my "team". It was pointless.
2. I've asked to be removed from the Day Treatment Program that starts next month. It would have been pointless due to my bleak future. Just stupid.
3. I went to a different doctor at the University, instead of the lady who doesn't like me, and got a refill for my Seroquel. Not very pleased with the med (doesn't seem to help me sleep much), but I'd rather have it than not have it.
4. I ate HALF a chocolate pudding cake last night with my daughter!!!! I thought I was going to EXPLODE!!!!
5. Received an email yesterday from the cop who was here the night I slit my wrist wide open. (Nice of him to contact me again after we bumped into each other on the street recently). I don't know. Maybe this helps me not be so freaked out over the countless cops I saw over that short time period. Over-kill!!
Sorry to be "down" today. I just feel like I've been cycling since getting out of the hospital. I have one messed-up little brain.
Sandy
Posted by SandyWeb on July 22, 2004, at 13:07:17
In reply to Mystic, posted by SandyWeb on July 22, 2004, at 10:42:26
We had a phone call today from one of the officers that was at my apartment. He was one of the "angels", if you remember those two from April.
He is going to pick Carly up tomorrow (in his cop car, no less!! Lol!) and drive her over to the horse stables. Then she will get to work with another officer and the police horse!!! They will drive her back home later in the day.
Carly is sooooo excited that her hands were shaking! Lol! I think I'm just as excited as she is!!! WooHoo!!!!! I am so thankful that this officer kept Carly in his thoughts after all this time. This is the most wonderful gift that he could have given her!!!!
Hey, I don't feel freaked out by the cops anymore. *smile* God keeps talking to me, you know?
Hugs to all,
Sandy
Posted by partlycloudy on July 22, 2004, at 13:49:43
In reply to How Exciting!!!!!, posted by SandyWeb on July 22, 2004, at 13:07:17
First of all - it really is wonderful to see you posting here again.
Secondly, does that mean that Carly gets the Good Cop? And horse stables - that is so wonderful to be able to see. I used to drive past the State Police stables every day to work and loved to see those beautiful animals.
And last of all - Sandy, I'm very serious here. I know you have opted out of the team and their mighty plans for you. Are you doing this one day at a time instead? One foot in front of the other? You must promise us all - cross your heart just like those bras that only fit pointy boobed women - that if that freakin' veil comes floating your way, you'll either
ask for help yourself, or
ask us for help, and
you won't pretend that everything is hunky dory when it isn't.
And the only reason I'm making these rules is because I love you.
Posted by SandyWeb on July 22, 2004, at 18:44:24
In reply to Re: How Exciting!!!!! » SandyWeb, posted by partlycloudy on July 22, 2004, at 13:49:43
Hey PartyCloud (hee!),
I'll let you know how it goes with the police tomorrow. We had already been told by another cop that it was impossible for a civilian to work with the police horse due to liability issues. I'm so thankful that cops still have a certain amount of leeway in making decisions. Yippee for Carly!!!
I have some books being delivered from the library tomorrow. Maybe we'll be able to do that "reading club" this time around. I'll let you know later, in the Books section, what items arrived.
Thanks for being so loving.
Sandy
Posted by SandyWeb on July 23, 2004, at 17:06:51
In reply to Re: How Exciting!!!!! » SandyWeb, posted by partlycloudy on July 22, 2004, at 13:49:43
> You must promise us all - cross your heart just like those bras that only fit pointy boobed women - that if that freakin' veil comes floating your way, you'll either
> ask for help yourself, or
> ask us for help, and
> you won't pretend that everything is hunky dory when it isn't.
> And the only reason I'm making these rules is because I love you.<Okay, PC.
I'm not doing great. But you know what I did? I called my "team", and I've got an appointment for Tuesday afternoon. I have no idea what to talk about, but I know that I need to know that I'm not hoofing it alone. It was rather scary to cut the cord from my "team".
I'm up and down so many times a day. When I'm up I'm optimistic, and when I'm down I'm suicidal. And I'm freaking out! I don't feel stable at all. So I don't know what the appointment will do for me (might actually make it worse!), but at least I know I've got them. Right?
Why am I bouncing around so much? I can't do it alone, so it's good to know that I don't have to. But my mind's going to be my own un-doing! Ugh.
1. Carly got to ride in a cop car today!!
2. Carly spent a few hours working with another cop and the horses.
3. We are having yummy chicken tonight for supper.
4. "The Jury" is on tv tonight. I like this new show.
5. It wasn't nearly as humid today, although the cop who picked up Carly was having a difficult time wearing his vest. Lol!!
Sandy
Posted by partlycloudy on July 23, 2004, at 17:47:43
In reply to Okay » partlycloudy, posted by SandyWeb on July 23, 2004, at 17:06:51
Sandy, thank you for making another appointment with the team. Your ups and downs are absolutely terrifying, and you are doing the right thing in going back to them next week. If they sound like they are going too fast for you with that timeline thing, you are the person in control. You already know that they can't make you do something you don't want to do (or aren't ready to do). Did you show them that document you posted here and sent to me? I can't remember, thanks to meds.
Carly's day sounds really cool! And she gets to have a yummy chicken dinner! It's quite amazing that you can do that when you are feeling so badly.
hugs to you - and was the cop cute?
Posted by mystic on July 23, 2004, at 18:57:31
In reply to Okay » partlycloudy, posted by SandyWeb on July 23, 2004, at 17:06:51
Thank you sandy that was good....so here is mine..it has been a rough day and very emotional..but here goes if you can do it i can..
1.. I got through ok just ok but ok with my first EMDR session with the hottie dr..
2 Immediately after my appt I was on my way to my daughters house to see my wonderful grandson and equally if not more wonderful daughter Melissa..
3.... I spent lunch with my daughter my grandson and a very good friend and her 2 daughters..
4... I made it through grocery shopping without freeking out after my day..
5... I am e-mailing with a wonderful new friend and feeling ok tonight just ok but I'm here I'm ok and that is good..
So thankyou sandy I'm glad we shared..Your freind Mystic....Hey you have to admit sandy it does feel good to get it down to listing at least 5..sometimes difficult but feels good...!!!!
Posted by SandyWeb on July 23, 2004, at 19:01:20
In reply to RE::: Sandy, posted by mystic on July 23, 2004, at 18:57:31
Mystic and PartyCloud,
Guess I messed up. No surprise. Like I said, I'm not very thick skinned.
I'll let you know how my appointment on Tuesday goes. I'm going to step away from Babble for a bit. I could KICK myself for just wanting to cry and cry and cry. Sorry guys.
Sandy
Posted by partlycloudy on July 23, 2004, at 19:16:15
In reply to RE::: Sandy, posted by SandyWeb on July 23, 2004, at 19:01:20
There are lots of hugs here. It's ok to cry and my skin is thinner than yours, I promise. Take care.
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