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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 29. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on April 3, 2008, at 9:52:09
I don't see him till tomorrow.
I want to hurt myself so much right now for unrelated reasons, but I don't want to call him. I don't want to mess up our anniversary by saying something that will upset him.
Which is stupid, I guess, since hurting myself on our anniversary is likely to make him angrier than calling him would.
So I guess I need to not hurt myself without calling him.
Posted by Dinah on April 3, 2008, at 10:00:07
In reply to Today's my anniversary (trigger?), posted by Dinah on April 3, 2008, at 9:52:09
Never mind. It's gone. I smoothed it over.
Posted by Nadezda on April 3, 2008, at 10:47:46
In reply to Today's my anniversary (trigger?), posted by Dinah on April 3, 2008, at 9:52:09
It's what's happening with you now that matters, not the fact of an anniversary. Of course you should call him, if you might hurt yourself.
Part of caring is concern. Besides, it's more of a recognition of relationship's depth and meaning to call, than for him to have a good day, all the while you're keeping him in the dark.
I'm sorry you're feeling that bad-- even if you smoothed it over. But I'm glad that the feeling is gone.
Nadezda
Posted by raisinb on April 3, 2008, at 11:18:45
In reply to Today's my anniversary (trigger?), posted by Dinah on April 3, 2008, at 9:52:09
Of course he would want to hear from you if you are struggling. I'm glad you feel better, but call him if you don't.
Stay safe. (((Dinah)).
Posted by Phillipa on April 3, 2008, at 11:32:09
In reply to Re: Today's my anniversary (trigger?) » Dinah, posted by raisinb on April 3, 2008, at 11:18:45
DInah any idea for the feelings and how you could so quickly smooth it over. Agree should call your T. Phillipa
Posted by DAisym on April 3, 2008, at 12:17:31
In reply to Today's my anniversary (trigger?), posted by Dinah on April 3, 2008, at 9:52:09
I suspect that it isn't all that unrelated. I'm glad you feel more in control of yourself but why this particular coping mechanism right now? And is hurting really hurting or is that a euphemism?
I'm worried about you. Things seem so tough lately. I hope you have a good session tomorrow and can look back and see the progress and feel good about that.
I'm glad you are posting.
Daisy
Posted by Happyflower on April 3, 2008, at 13:21:48
In reply to Today's my anniversary (trigger?), posted by Dinah on April 3, 2008, at 9:52:09
((((Dinah)))) I hope you are really okay. Good luck tomorrow, I saw the picture you plan on giving him, it sounds special and meaningful. I like it.
Posted by Poet on April 3, 2008, at 13:55:26
In reply to Re: Today's my anniversary (trigger?), posted by Dinah on April 3, 2008, at 10:00:07
Hi Dinah,
Good to hear it smoothed over, but remember it's okay to call your T if you need him whether it's your anniversary or not especially if you had thoughts of hurting yourself.
Take care.
(((((Dinah)))))
Poet
Posted by Annierose on April 3, 2008, at 14:00:48
In reply to Today's my anniversary (trigger?), posted by Dinah on April 3, 2008, at 9:52:09
I remember that this time of year is especially difficult for you. Maybe the added stress with work spills over into other areas of your life.
I agree with Daisy. I also do not think the Anniversary and your feeling sad are unrelated. Even though you have soothed yourself, it is still important to explore your feelings that you experienced today with your t tomorrow.
I hope he appreciates your thoughtful gift.
Posted by seldomseen on April 3, 2008, at 15:09:38
In reply to Today's my anniversary (trigger?), posted by Dinah on April 3, 2008, at 9:52:09
Hey dinah. I'm sorry you are doing well. Mind if I join you?
I've had an awful week. I think I'll post about it. I don't see my T until Monday.
Reach out if you need us. Is this related to working at the office?
Take good care and keep talking -either here or with your T.
Seldom.
Posted by Dinah on April 3, 2008, at 20:42:45
In reply to Re: Today's my anniversary (trigger?), posted by Nadezda on April 3, 2008, at 10:47:46
You're absolutely right.
I ended up not calling him (and not hurting myself), but you are absolutely right.
I guess I recognize that while he encourages me to call, and means it, he also really doesn't like those kind of calls.
Posted by Dinah on April 3, 2008, at 20:43:44
In reply to Re: Today's my anniversary (trigger?) » Dinah, posted by raisinb on April 3, 2008, at 11:18:45
The smoothing held until I medicated myself. I can stay medicated now I know I need to be. I'll be ok.
Thanks, raisinb.
Posted by Dinah on April 3, 2008, at 20:45:10
In reply to Re: Today's my anniversary (trigger?), posted by Phillipa on April 3, 2008, at 11:32:09
I don't know how I do it. It seems to be something my brain does when I'm upset, just like I sometimes fall into a heavy sleep when I'm upset. I wish I could control it better. It would be very useful.
Posted by Dinah on April 3, 2008, at 20:52:15
In reply to Re: Today's my anniversary (trigger?), posted by DAisym on April 3, 2008, at 12:17:31
Hurting really means cutting, I suppose.
I am aware of what brings on the urges, and that helps some. But knowing and avoiding are two different things, I fear.
I don't really want to go tomorrow. I like my anniversary sessions and would prefer to have one when I was feeling good and feeling positive.
Posted by Dinah on April 3, 2008, at 20:55:34
In reply to Re: Today's my anniversary (trigger?), posted by Happyflower on April 3, 2008, at 13:21:48
I was working at the office, which helps some at the moment I suppose. Although long term might make things worse. Still, I almost ran there today, knowing that it would help me stay in my brain and not feel.
I'm not so sure now about the picture. It is isn't as nice in person. I might go with the artificially tumbled river rock.
I haven't even written on the card yet either. I wish I wasn't such a stickler on observance. I'd rather go in and be miserable tomorrow.
Posted by Dinah on April 3, 2008, at 20:56:45
In reply to Re: Today's my anniversary (trigger?) » Dinah, posted by Poet on April 3, 2008, at 13:55:26
I might tell him tomorrow. In fact I'm sure I will. I often plan ahead of time on not saying something, but in practice everything in my head spills out my lips. :)
Posted by Dinah on April 3, 2008, at 20:59:02
In reply to Re: Today's my anniversary (trigger?), posted by Annierose on April 3, 2008, at 14:00:48
I still haven't decided what to give him!
And while I have in mind what to say in the card, I haven't written it yet. It might not work when it's written down.
I just haven't been in the mood. :(
Not that he'd care either way. He has many fine and useful qualities but feeling sentimental about our anniversary is not one of them.
Posted by Dinah on April 3, 2008, at 21:00:34
In reply to Re: Today's my anniversary (trigger?) » Dinah, posted by seldomseen on April 3, 2008, at 15:09:38
Misery does love company. Although I am sorry you're having a rotten week as well. Maybe there's something in the air. Those first few weeks of hot always make me irritable and sad. Is it hot yet where you are?
Posted by seldomseen on April 4, 2008, at 7:04:32
In reply to Re: Today's my anniversary (trigger?) » seldomseen, posted by Dinah on April 3, 2008, at 21:00:34
Dinah,
Spring where I am is a real roller coaster ride. Freezing one day, blazing the next. We haven't fully converted to hot yet. We sort of ease into it. It really confuses my heating/cooling system.
However, this is my first year living in a forest dominated by pine trees (I usually lived near hardwoods). The pollen that the pines put out is a choking yellow irritant/allergen.
I have never had such a profound inflammatory response to anything. It's just unadulterated misery. I have all of these OTC remedies in a ziploc baggie (anti-histamines, eye-drops, nose drops etc...) and I still look like Polly pink-eye.
The internal stuff is hard enough to deal with you know, and when it gets conflated with environmental stresses (heat, pollen) it tough to deal with to say the least.
We'll make it (we always do).
Seldom.
Posted by Fallsfall on April 4, 2008, at 19:06:44
In reply to Re: Today's my anniversary (trigger?) » seldomseen, posted by Dinah on April 3, 2008, at 21:00:34
How was your anniversary session?
Posted by Dinah on April 4, 2008, at 20:47:56
In reply to Re: Today's my anniversary (trigger?) » Dinah, posted by Fallsfall on April 4, 2008, at 19:06:44
It was kind of blah.
I ended up giving him a small stone that wasn't overly tumbled. It had some small flaws and cracks still, which was apropos I thought.
He'd forgotten what the Newfoundland meant, I could tell, so I politely slid an explanation in the conversation. I did the same with the rock, so that he wouldn't be put on the spot of trying to remember what that meant.
He put the stone with a couple of other stones of similar size that he keeps on his shelf, so I think I made the right choice. He showed me the other two and told me their stories.
I didn't give it to him until shortly before the end of the session. I wasn't in the mood, and kept hoping I'd feel more in tune with him. But it wasn't to be. I was tired. He seemed distracted, and it was just one of those sessions where we didn't click.
Posted by Dinah on April 4, 2008, at 20:49:54
In reply to Re: Today's my anniversary (trigger?) » Dinah, posted by seldomseen on April 4, 2008, at 7:04:32
Environmental stresses definitely don't help. I usually get depressed in early spring, and it lasts all summer. Summer here is really awful. But I was surprised to discover it was even worse where we evacuated.
I'm feeling kind of sorry we didn't move to Little Rock. It always seemed cool in the hills there. Or cool in comparison.
Posted by Kath on April 6, 2008, at 16:12:28
In reply to Re: Today's my anniversary (trigger?) » seldomseen, posted by Dinah on April 4, 2008, at 20:49:54
Hi Dinah - I'm glad you got through it & I am now wondering how you're doing.
luv, Kath
Posted by Dinah on April 6, 2008, at 18:01:49
In reply to Re: Today's my anniversary (trigger?) » Dinah, posted by Kath on April 6, 2008, at 16:12:28
Thanks for asking, Kath.
I think I'm feeling some of the dullness and detachment that caused the session to be less than wonderful. I really should have just put the whole thing off. He didn't know when the anniversary was, and would have been perfectly ok with my explaining a month from now.
I'm tired, and feeling very disconnected.
At the risk of giving too much info, I've now missed two periods in a row, and suspect that this nosedive deeper into perimenopause might be a contributing factor.
Posted by Kath on April 6, 2008, at 18:35:31
In reply to Re: Today's my anniversary (trigger?) » Kath, posted by Dinah on April 6, 2008, at 18:01:49
(((((((((you)))))))))))
I'm sorry.
My Bible before, during & after menopause is:
Menopausal Years - The Wise Woman Way by Susun Weed.
It's beyond excellent. Tackles each item she talks about using 7 steps, from doing nothing, up to doing the most extreme in treatment.
It's very easy to read & just chock full of info.
There's a ton of info about herbal things & I used 2 specific ones before & during menopause & they helped greatly.
I send you my love, Kath
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