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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 61 to 85 of 142. Go back in thread:
Posted by Poet on December 9, 2013, at 17:35:22
In reply to Extra hard cyberslaps coming you way Bob (nm), posted by Poet on December 9, 2013, at 17:34:14
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 10, 2013, at 1:45:56
In reply to Please » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on December 9, 2013, at 12:43:36
> Really, Dr. Bob, you couldn't be doing a better job p*ssing me off if you tried.
>
> You'd be way better off saying nothing at all, if retaining my positive feelings about Babble means anything to you.Retaining you means a lot to me, but you're a civilian now, and so under no obligation to stay positive. You feel pissed off by me. Would you like to cyberslap me, too?
Bob
Posted by Dinah on December 10, 2013, at 4:15:58
In reply to Re: Please, posted by Dr. Bob on December 10, 2013, at 1:45:56
I want you to block me for a lifetime, Dr. Bob.
Posted by Poet on December 10, 2013, at 11:46:11
In reply to Re: Please, posted by Dinah on December 10, 2013, at 4:15:58
Dinah,
Note the I statements. I feel it's not you who should be blocked for life. I feel that all posters regardless of race, creed, sexual orientation or religious persuasion should be afforded the protection that appears to me to be provided to a poster who can accuse and threaten and not even be told to be civil.
Let's make a pact to avoid the admin board.
Poet
Posted by Dinah on December 10, 2013, at 17:42:20
In reply to Re: Please » Dinah, posted by Poet on December 10, 2013, at 11:46:11
I manage it sometimes - for long periods of time. But it's hard to know I'm being talked about, in a public place. I sometimes peek over here, and always regret it.
If Dr. Bob just refrains from saying anything inflammatory (which likely means refraining from saying anything at all in my general direction) it would help.
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 10, 2013, at 18:03:49
In reply to Re: Please » Dinah, posted by Poet on December 10, 2013, at 11:46:11
> I feel that all posters regardless of race, creed, sexual orientation or religious persuasion should be afforded the protection that appears to me to be provided to a poster who can accuse and threaten and not even be told to be civil.
1. Partlycloudy on Psychology got me thinking about the issue of need. Could you think of it as something like: Dinah has you to protect her, but Lou has no one. So I need to protect him.
2. If you see someone accuse or threaten, please use the "notify administrators" button:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#help
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by Dinah on December 10, 2013, at 18:40:09
In reply to Re: Please, posted by Dr. Bob on December 10, 2013, at 18:03:49
I notified you. You did nothing. I think you were even clear that you weren't going to do anything.
I just as well send messages into space as notify the administrators.
And Lou would still have me, for one, and probably many others, if you didn't allow him to post uncivilly. I blame you as much as Lou for the fact that he has no one.
You know that I used to be one of Lou's biggest supporters. It's you who played the biggest role in changing that.
Posted by Dinah on December 10, 2013, at 19:09:43
In reply to Re: Please, posted by Dr. Bob on December 10, 2013, at 18:03:49
I know I'm trying to speak siliconese. But don't you realize that your behavior is causing people who would formerly have been polite to Lou and encouraged others to be polite to Lou, who struggled to have compassion and understanding, to feel completely differently?
Don't you realize that by saying only Lou can hurt others as much as he wants, but shouldn't be asked to stop, you are creating resentment?
Don't you realize that by incrementally allowing Lou to say more and more what is in his heart, you are encouraging him to say things that are in his own best interests to remain unsaid in public? Things that would make it impossible for people to interpret his behavior in a generous way?
Enforcing the civility rules is not just good for the innocent. It's also in the best interests of the very person you're attempting to support by allowing him free rein.
Posted by SLS on December 10, 2013, at 20:13:58
In reply to Re: Please, posted by Dr. Bob on December 10, 2013, at 18:03:49
> Dinah has you to protect her, but Lou has no one. So I need to protect him.
What is it that you need to protect Lou from?
- Scott
Posted by Phillipa on December 10, 2013, at 20:49:22
In reply to Re: Please » Dr. Bob, posted by SLS on December 10, 2013, at 20:13:58
Himself?
Posted by Moishe Pipik on December 14, 2013, at 12:06:05
In reply to Re: Please » SLS, posted by Phillipa on December 10, 2013, at 20:49:22
Talk about beating a dead horse! The situation, if there really IS a situation, has been existent for a very long time, yet many members apparently cannot get beyond it. Lou has been repetitively posting pretty much the same thing for YEARS, and I'm rather surprised that so many still haven't decided to simply ignore that which they can do nothing about, except to gripe about it incessantly. Like ALL forums, opposing views are common, with the opposers always convinced that they are on the correct side. Like all forums, there are annoyingly strident posters. And like in life, nobody is going to be talked out of their positions, regardless of evidence or logic.
So, where does this leave us? And where does it lead us? For me, the answer is to (try to) simply ignore posts or posters that are useless to ME. As for correcting "misinformation", who is truly qualified to even identify what is misinformation and what is not? Face it - mental healthcare is is a difficult and much-debated thing, in general. So, why would it be any different here? I don't think it's realistic to expect these boards to be angst-free.
It is sad to see so much distress, distress that I believe is primarily the responsibility of the distressed individual.
For me, I'll try to take the "high road" of live and let live.
It seems that some here espouse a crime-and-punishment model, with the belief that the possibility of PBCs or blocks act as a deterrent to certain behaviors. Looking at our society, it is quite apparent that the model DOES NOT work, but nobody seems to learn from the failures. Sigh.
Posted by Dinah on December 14, 2013, at 12:16:54
In reply to Sorry to see so much distress, posted by Moishe Pipik on December 14, 2013, at 12:06:05
It's been going on a long time. Surely you have learned not to read the discussions if they distress you?
It is not about crime and punishment. If there is no crime, there is no punishment. It is about giving Lou the honor of being treated like everyone else, and giving others the honor of not being treated badly.
It is only fairly recently that Dr. Bob has openly declared his intent not to administrate against Lou. That is a recent disclosure. Before we could only guess. My guess as to his reasons were certainly not that he felt like Lou had no friends so he needed to guarantee Lou having no friends by allowing him to be uncivil to others.
That doesn't make sense to me. I find it insulting both to Lou and to me and to others.
But if you don't understand that, why not follow your own advice? You didn't need to say anything on the earlier thread about zzd asking for a deregister button either. You chose to. Why?
Posted by Moishe Pipik on December 14, 2013, at 12:27:06
In reply to So why are you seeing it? » Moishe Pipik, posted by Dinah on December 14, 2013, at 12:16:54
Dinah, like you, I have opinions, have learned a few things, etc.. So, occasionally, I voice my opinions about some stuff that happens here. Sure, I know it probably won't change anyone's mind or anything, but it's just my opinion, and maybe, just maybe, someone might benefit from it.
And it also gives me the opportunity to continue to improve my written communication skills (assuming I had any in the first place), to see if I can do it better than before.
I AM, however, baffled by your apparent umbridge regarding my post.
Posted by Dinah on December 14, 2013, at 12:30:06
In reply to Re: So why are you seeing it? » Dinah, posted by Moishe Pipik on December 14, 2013, at 12:27:06
It seemed like you were saying we should just ignore what bothered us, since it was ongoing.
Since you seemed to be posting about something that bothered you, it seemed self-contradictory.
And I suppose I often get the sense that you are being ironic at my expense. I could be wrong.
Posted by Moishe Pipik on December 14, 2013, at 12:39:48
In reply to Re: So why are you seeing it? » Moishe Pipik, posted by Dinah on December 14, 2013, at 12:30:06
Sure, I can see how it might be self-contradictory. And it came as no surprise that someone here would quickly point that out. Gee, would that be at my expense?
I keep learning more and more of the value of simply doing nothing about some things, and that's what I was encouraging. Especially about things that probably can't be "fixed".
Posted by Dinah on December 14, 2013, at 12:42:04
In reply to Re: So why are you seeing it? » Dinah, posted by Moishe Pipik on December 14, 2013, at 12:39:48
You asked. I answered.
You didn't ask in the past. I didn't volunteer.
It's not intended to be at your expense. I was being honest in saying that I frequently feel vaguely hurt by what you post. Because you asked why I seemed angry.
Posted by Moishe Pipik on December 14, 2013, at 12:45:29
In reply to Re: So why are you seeing it? » Moishe Pipik, posted by Dinah on December 14, 2013, at 12:42:04
Why would you be "vaguely hurt" by my posts. Why would you give me, or anybody, that power?
Posted by Dinah on December 14, 2013, at 12:51:59
In reply to Re: So why are you seeing it? » Dinah, posted by Moishe Pipik on December 14, 2013, at 12:45:29
Perhaps the fact that I can't, and wouldn't even want to, grow a thick skin, explains much of what you probably find annoying about me.
The only way *I* can do that is to not give a tinker's damn about others. And I don't want to not give a tinker's damn about even someone whose posts often leave me feeling vaguely hurt.
I can and do accept that it appears you don't like me. So it isn't that. I can and do accept the fact that more people than not dislike me. Or if they don't think about me enough to dislike me, at least find me offputting. I can and do accept the fact that very few people in the world would actually say they like me.
If you didn't know before that I felt hurt by your posts, you now know. If you don't care, that's your business.
Posted by Moishe Pipik on December 14, 2013, at 13:29:00
In reply to Re: So why are you seeing it? » Moishe Pipik, posted by Dinah on December 14, 2013, at 12:51:59
The assumption of me "not liking" you is yours. However, I do think you seem to endlessly torture yourself. I sincerely hope you find ways out of some of it. And with that, I'm done.
Posted by SLS on December 14, 2013, at 14:07:40
In reply to Sorry to see so much distress, posted by Moishe Pipik on December 14, 2013, at 12:06:05
Hi Ron.
- Scott
Posted by SLS on December 14, 2013, at 14:11:49
In reply to Re: So why are you seeing it? » Dinah, posted by Moishe Pipik on December 14, 2013, at 12:45:29
Certainly, there must be deeper pools for you to swim for.
- Scott
Posted by alexandra_k on December 14, 2013, at 14:23:57
In reply to Sorry to see so much distress, posted by Moishe Pipik on December 14, 2013, at 12:06:05
Well, your post helped me. I guess I feel similarly.
Don't get me wrong, I do think a great deal of Dinah and others. I am sad that they feel distressed about this. Dinah has helped me a great deal over the years. Most especially by banging on about her different opinion so that eventually... I think I did come to understand her view that little bit more. Like the coral colony idea.
In this particular case... I feel more bad for Lou than for others. I feel bad that I can't be a better friend to him... I simply don't understand him. I'm not sure what it is but I simply can't parse his posts.
> Talk about beating a dead horse! The situation, if there really IS a situation, has been existent for a very long time, yet many members apparently cannot get beyond it. Lou has been repetitively posting pretty much the same thing for YEARS, and I'm rather surprised that so many still haven't decided to simply ignore that which they can do nothing about, except to gripe about it incessantly. Like ALL forums, opposing views are common, with the opposers always convinced that they are on the correct side. Like all forums, there are annoyingly strident posters. And like in life, nobody is going to be talked out of their positions, regardless of evidence or logic.
> So, where does this leave us? And where does it lead us? For me, the answer is to (try to) simply ignore posts or posters that are useless to ME. As for correcting "misinformation", who is truly qualified to even identify what is misinformation and what is not? Face it - mental healthcare is is a difficult and much-debated thing, in general. So, why would it be any different here? I don't think it's realistic to expect these boards to be angst-free.
>
> It is sad to see so much distress, distress that I believe is primarily the responsibility of the distressed individual.
>
> For me, I'll try to take the "high road" of live and let live.
>
> It seems that some here espouse a crime-and-punishment model, with the belief that the possibility of PBCs or blocks act as a deterrent to certain behaviors. Looking at our society, it is quite apparent that the model DOES NOT work, but nobody seems to learn from the failures. Sigh.
Posted by Dinah on December 14, 2013, at 14:26:19
In reply to Re: Sorry to see so much distress » Moishe Pipik, posted by alexandra_k on December 14, 2013, at 14:23:57
> In this particular case... I feel more bad for Lou than for others. I feel bad that I can't be a better friend to him... I simply don't understand him. I'm not sure what it is but I simply can't parse his posts.
Do you think it possible that those two statements might be related?
Posted by Dinah on December 14, 2013, at 14:31:28
In reply to Re: Sorry to see so much distress » Moishe Pipik, posted by alexandra_k on December 14, 2013, at 14:23:57
And you should have been here long enough to know that I would treat Lou well enough should he stop years of accusing former deputies of conspiring with Dr. Bob towards antisemitic acts. I wonder how you'd feel after years and years of accusations? I don't really remember you responding particularly well to accusations.
It hurts me that you feel that way, and it hurts me that Dr. Bob feels that way.
Why does anyone think I want Lou punished, or to be treated badly by anyone. I just want the accusations to STOP. Is that so f*ck*ng much to ask?
Posted by alexandra_k on December 14, 2013, at 14:49:20
In reply to Re: Sorry to see so much distress » alexandra_k, posted by Dinah on December 14, 2013, at 14:31:28
i think those statements probably are related. i used to feel baffled and confused a lot reading his posts. i don't feel that way anymore. i've stopped trying to understand them. i feel a bit bad about that (that i can't be supportive to him), but there it is.
what else would he post about? you say that what you post about lou doesn't affect how other people view him - only how they view you. why can't you similarly see that the things that lou posts about bob or you or deputies or administration or god or what ever doesn't affect how other people view those things. it mostly affects how people feel about lou. it mostly seems to have... alienated everyone from him except for bob. and you think that if he is unable to change his posting behaviour to tow your line he should lose even that?
i think... maybe lou can't stop. like how people with tourette's have offensive language outbursts sometimes. lou isn't utilizing his behaviour to muster a group of supporters... his behaviour seems to be alienating most everyone. i don't know how he does off the boards... i don't expect things go very much better.
i think... you are capable of greater trust. to see that the majority of posters or readers... or... the posters / readers whose opinions matter... aren't so fickle as to make negative or hostile judgements about you (deputies, administration, or bob) on the basis of taking considerable time parsing lengthy posts. especially if there fairly persistently are false positives about wolves... most people... learn to ignore the alarm. or... wonder if the alarm is tracking something different.
i don't know. but i'm glad that bob can interact with lou positively. and i'm sad that others won't. because i'm not at all sure that lou can change his behaviour much more than he has already.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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