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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 42 to 66 of 142. Go back in thread:
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 6, 2013, at 1:49:26
In reply to Re: why one should have to learn this » Dinah, posted by Partlycloudy on December 5, 2013, at 14:40:09
> I suppose I stick around even now for lingering affection for that place and that moderator, despite my disappointment.
I'm glad you're still around. I feel affection for you, too.
> > sometimes it's not other people, it's life. Has anyone here not had to deal with sh*t?
>
> Yes, and so I do.> Apparently this has changed from a place with a moderator who did not tolerate sh*t being thrown at others to a place with a therapist-in-chief who sees his mission as teaching people to shield themselves against sh*t being thrown *on his own website*.
>
> Dinah> Same here. It's tied in to that feeling of safety, which has long gone.
>
> PCI can think of a few different ways to be safe:
1. Find a place where there isn't any sh*t.
2. Find someone to shield you. That was the old model here, and I'm still open to a Refuge board:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20130702/msgs/1046456.html
but there hasn't been much interest.
3. Learn to shield yourself. My idea isn't actually for me to teach posters. It's for posters to teach each other:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20130903/msgs/1055165.html
Bob
Posted by Dinah on December 6, 2013, at 9:14:45
In reply to Re: why one should have to learn this, posted by Dr. Bob on December 6, 2013, at 1:49:26
> 1. Find a place where there isn't any sh*t.
>I suppose I'd better choose 1.
Otherwise I feel the need to defend myself. And I like to think I'm better than that.
Posted by Dinah on December 6, 2013, at 9:15:37
In reply to Re: why one should have to learn this » Dinah, posted by Partlycloudy on December 5, 2013, at 14:40:09
It's not that I can't defend myself. I simply don't want to have to pack a six shooter.
Posted by Dinah on December 6, 2013, at 9:28:04
In reply to Re: why one should have to learn this, posted by Dr. Bob on December 6, 2013, at 1:49:26
How the H*ll would a refuge board work?
Lou could still arouse anti-former-deputy feeling and as long as I didn't read it, I'd be happy as can be to post politely with him on the Refuge board?
I am appalled to think that you allow former deputies to be abused because they tried to help you out. And I'm not just talking me here. It's beyond enough that the abuse we were forced to tolerate as deputies can't be outlawed once we go back to being purely mental health consumers on this board.
Posted by Partlycloudy on December 6, 2013, at 11:24:43
In reply to Re: why one should have to learn this » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on December 6, 2013, at 9:28:04
I'd like to point out too that learning to tolerate having sh*t slung at you is not necessarily therapeutically indicated for those of us struggling with PTSD. Exposure therapy, in fact, can be fatal in some cases. I refer to the "gun-ho" do it yourself military trauma therapist who brought a returned soldier with PTSD to a gun range. Where he shot himself.
I not only won't tolerate having sh*t slung at me, I can't, after a lifetime of it.
Dr. Bob, you are not just thoughtless. You are a danger to THIS poster.PC
Posted by Dinah on December 6, 2013, at 11:41:05
In reply to Re: please be civil » Twinleaf » SLS, posted by Dr. Bob on December 3, 2013, at 2:17:41
Under your guidelines, shouldn't Lou be learning to shield himself from sh*t? Why the PBC?
Could you clarify? Is there a limit to the amount of sh*t someone should have to learn to live with? Is it just the sh*t of one poster we should have to live with? Is there a limit to that person's sh*t?
Why don't you tell that person that all previous limitations on his ability to post about his gates and his message has been lifted, because others have to learn to deal with him? And that he'll have to learn to live with the responses of others? Or that the former is true but not the latter?
I would like some clarifications on the sh*t policies of this website.
Because it isn't right or fair to leave posters to take their chances.
Posted by Dinah on December 6, 2013, at 11:58:10
In reply to Why should *some* need to live with it » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on December 6, 2013, at 11:41:05
Apologies. I was using Dr. Bob's terminology. But of course I should have used a quotation mark in this sentence.
I would like some clarifications on the "sh*t" policies of this website.
Posted by Dinah on December 6, 2013, at 12:05:16
In reply to Why should *some* need to live with it » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on December 6, 2013, at 11:41:05
> Is there a limit placed on that person's sh*t?
Posted by Twinleaf on December 6, 2013, at 12:54:41
In reply to Re: why one should have to learn this » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on December 6, 2013, at 9:28:04
Dinah, just a word to say that I support you completely. Dr.Bob's initial decision to exempt Lou from the civility guidelines asked of everyone else has gradually led him into more and more extreme and indefensible positions, such as the idea of a Refuge board, or trying to manipulate Scott into telling you how to express your thoughts. I think the positions about the former deputies are especially painful to read, as it was so clear how hard you all tried to support him, even when it caused you pain and conflict. I wish Dr. Bob would step back from the * therapist to one poster/ superior ethical guide to everyone else* role he has assumed, so that he can see the harm he is causing Babble. In order for this forum to continue and prosper, we need just one thing: a fair, flexible, moderate administrator who treats everyone with equality and respect. It's almost hard to believe how far he has strayed from that.
Posted by larryhoover on December 6, 2013, at 22:14:55
In reply to Re: why one should have to learn this, posted by Dr. Bob on December 5, 2013, at 0:37:28
> > > I really don't understand why one should have to learn this. I manage to find sufficient places where sh*t is not flung at me, to wish to learn how to accept it gracefully.
> >
> > you are lucky that you were able to find a refuge.
>
> Plus sometimes it's not other people, it's life. Has anyone here not had to deal with sh*t?
>
> BobGood god, Bob! All that is necessary for evil to prevail, is for good men to do nothing to prevent it.
The existence of sh*t or evil or whatever you wish to call it is not the problem. The problem is that you have the tools to prevent it, and you do nothing.
Shall we call you Chamberlain?
Lar
Posted by Partlycloudy on December 7, 2013, at 6:50:16
In reply to Re: why one should have to learn this, posted by larryhoover on December 6, 2013, at 22:14:55
> Good god, Bob! All that is necessary for evil to prevail, is for good men to do nothing to prevent it.
>
> The existence of sh*t or evil or whatever you wish to call it is not the problem. The problem is that you have the tools to prevent it, and you do nothing.
>
> Shall we call you Chamberlain?
>
> Lar
>
>
Snort!
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 8, 2013, at 2:09:21
In reply to Re: why one should have to learn this » Dinah, posted by Twinleaf on December 6, 2013, at 12:54:41
> trying to manipulate Scott into telling you how to express your thoughts.
Please don't post anything that could lead others (including me) to feel accused.
More information about posting policies and tips on alternative ways to express yourself, including a link to a nice post by Dinah on I-statements, are in the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceFollow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 8, 2013, at 2:41:53
In reply to Re: why one should have to learn this, posted by larryhoover on December 6, 2013, at 22:14:55
> I'd like to point out too that learning to tolerate having sh*t slung at you is not necessarily therapeutically indicated for those of us struggling with PTSD. Exposure therapy, in fact, can be fatal in some cases. I refer to the "gun-ho" do it yourself military trauma therapist who brought a returned soldier with PTSD to a gun range. Where he shot himself.
>
> PCThanks, that's a good point.
Dinah, do you have PTSD?
--
> It's not that I can't defend myself. I simply don't want to have to pack a six shooter.
>
> DinahA six-shooter isn't defense. A shield is defense.
--
> All that is necessary for evil to prevail, is for good men to do nothing to prevent it.
>
> The existence of sh*t ... is not the problem. The problem is that you have the tools to prevent it, and you do nothing.
>
> Shall we call you Chamberlain?
>
> LarI'm not blocking Lou, but I'm not doing nothing, either.
Sh*t isn't prevented = it happens.
You may call me Lord Bob should you wish to.
Bob
Posted by Phillipa on December 8, 2013, at 19:43:05
In reply to Re: why one would benefit from learning this, posted by Dr. Bob on December 8, 2013, at 2:41:53
Dr Bob this just doesn't sound like you. Have you appointed another to answer your threads? Phillipa
Posted by 10derheart on December 9, 2013, at 1:18:49
In reply to Re: why one would benefit from learning this, posted by Dr. Bob on December 8, 2013, at 2:41:53
>A six-shooter isn't defense. A shield is defense.
Really? Says who?
Is there is only one sort of defense?
This is not always true, not by a long shot. Not IRL circumstances, and not here. Maybe in an idealistic existence, but not in the world I know. If you honestly think a "six-shooter" never provides excellent defense and is not called for to counter *sh*t,* well, then (I can't speak for Dinah but...) you and I will have a really difficult time understanding one another about this.
Posted by 10derheart on December 9, 2013, at 1:20:10
In reply to Re: why one would benefit from learning this » Dr. Bob, posted by Phillipa on December 8, 2013, at 19:43:05
Sounds precisely like him to me.
:-(
Posted by SLS on December 9, 2013, at 3:38:36
In reply to Re: why one would benefit from learning this » Dr. Bob, posted by Phillipa on December 8, 2013, at 19:43:05
> Dr Bob this just doesn't sound like you.
I have seen differences in the writings of Dr. Hsiung over the years. Some differences I like. Some differences I don't like. However, I am most frustrated and angry by his current posting behaviors and the decisions he makes as moderator.
Learning opportunities need not lead to accordance with, or affirmations of, the teacher.
I can only guess that Dr. Hsiung has plenty of shields at his disposal that he learned how to use as a product of his professional training. I hope that he is less hurt and more intellectually challenged by anything I have to say. However, I am quite fallible and can sometimes use some lessons in civil and effective communication. I try to be receptive to constructive criticisms that would lead me to improve myself. Ironically, Dr. Hsiung has been a good teacher to me. I don't like being angry at him.
- Scott
Posted by Dinah on December 9, 2013, at 12:43:36
In reply to Re: why one would benefit from learning this, posted by Dr. Bob on December 8, 2013, at 2:41:53
> Dinah, do you have PTSD?
Really, Dr. Bob, you couldn't be doing a better job p*ssing me off if you tried.
You'd be way better off saying nothing at all, if retaining my positive feelings about Babble means anything to you.
Posted by Poet on December 9, 2013, at 17:34:14
In reply to Please » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on December 9, 2013, at 12:43:36
Posted by Poet on December 9, 2013, at 17:35:22
In reply to Extra hard cyberslaps coming you way Bob (nm), posted by Poet on December 9, 2013, at 17:34:14
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 10, 2013, at 1:45:56
In reply to Please » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on December 9, 2013, at 12:43:36
> Really, Dr. Bob, you couldn't be doing a better job p*ssing me off if you tried.
>
> You'd be way better off saying nothing at all, if retaining my positive feelings about Babble means anything to you.Retaining you means a lot to me, but you're a civilian now, and so under no obligation to stay positive. You feel pissed off by me. Would you like to cyberslap me, too?
Bob
Posted by Dinah on December 10, 2013, at 4:15:58
In reply to Re: Please, posted by Dr. Bob on December 10, 2013, at 1:45:56
I want you to block me for a lifetime, Dr. Bob.
Posted by Poet on December 10, 2013, at 11:46:11
In reply to Re: Please, posted by Dinah on December 10, 2013, at 4:15:58
Dinah,
Note the I statements. I feel it's not you who should be blocked for life. I feel that all posters regardless of race, creed, sexual orientation or religious persuasion should be afforded the protection that appears to me to be provided to a poster who can accuse and threaten and not even be told to be civil.
Let's make a pact to avoid the admin board.
Poet
Posted by Dinah on December 10, 2013, at 17:42:20
In reply to Re: Please » Dinah, posted by Poet on December 10, 2013, at 11:46:11
I manage it sometimes - for long periods of time. But it's hard to know I'm being talked about, in a public place. I sometimes peek over here, and always regret it.
If Dr. Bob just refrains from saying anything inflammatory (which likely means refraining from saying anything at all in my general direction) it would help.
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 10, 2013, at 18:03:49
In reply to Re: Please » Dinah, posted by Poet on December 10, 2013, at 11:46:11
> I feel that all posters regardless of race, creed, sexual orientation or religious persuasion should be afforded the protection that appears to me to be provided to a poster who can accuse and threaten and not even be told to be civil.
1. Partlycloudy on Psychology got me thinking about the issue of need. Could you think of it as something like: Dinah has you to protect her, but Lou has no one. So I need to protect him.
2. If you see someone accuse or threaten, please use the "notify administrators" button:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#help
Thanks,
Bob
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