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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 34 to 58 of 157. Go back in thread:
Posted by Deneb on December 26, 2006, at 8:53:50
In reply to About DNP's » Happyflower, posted by ClearSkies on December 26, 2006, at 8:25:48
I think the DNP should apply both ways. If I don't write about a person, that person shouldn't write about me either.
Deneb*
Posted by Deneb on December 26, 2006, at 9:11:45
In reply to Re: Restate - *Trigger*, posted by Deneb on December 26, 2006, at 2:45:00
I was replying to Notfred.
I swear.
Deneb*
Posted by Farkus on December 26, 2006, at 10:20:31
In reply to Re: Restate - *Trigger* » Deneb, posted by NikkiT2 on December 26, 2006, at 7:21:48
> I am more upset by "threats" - especially those that that imply suicide to be the consequences of the content/action/support gotten or NOT gotten from other posters or Adm.
>
> FarkusIt's a policy here not to pressure others, so that should be covered?
--
Yes, that *would* cover it. I don't see that guideline used very often on the boards. Not taking a deep study of ALL the boards here, I certainly have NOT - in my limited preception - seen it used in the particular subject this thread is discussing.
Posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 10:38:34
In reply to Dr. Bob - *Trigger*, posted by Farkus on December 26, 2006, at 10:20:31
I am also posting about a specific behavior, NOT a specific person.
Saying, "I am thinking about killing myself if you don't stop ignorning me" is the same thing as "I AM killing myself because you are ignoring me". Same blackmail, we can do word play, but the meaning IS the same, and IS still a form of blackmail, which is what this orginal thread was about.
I wish I had saved the babblemails of threat and I wish there were copies of chat's where a certain poster said she WAS going to kill themselves if I ignorned them.I need to stay safe for me, and if I need to ignore a poster, I will do it for my own well being. But I don't need to hear, I am going to kill myself everytime I get into chat either and choose NOT to socialize with a paticular person who I feel is harrassing and blackmailing me. I have a right to talk or not talk who I want without being threatened with sucicide if I don't . And whether it is said, I FEEL like ODing or I AM going to OD, is the same thing in blackmailing a person. It is the intent of causing guilt in another person for their own purposes. There needs to be something done about this behavior on the boards, in chat and in babblemails.
Posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 11:10:24
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob - *Trigger*, posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 10:38:34
poster:SatinDoll thread:703525
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20061124/msgs/707752.htmlHere is the post where I requested a DNP. In this thread, there are two examples where I am being posted to, using my name even in the body of the post, when I asked them not to.
It is also happening in chat when I have choosen to take the high road and not say anything to them, but yet they still imply me in their sucide threats, if I don't stop ignoring them. This has happened several times.
I didn't save the babble mails where it has also happened.
I have not tried to open any communication at all with this poster, but yet I feel like I am being harrased and blackmailed , especially since I have publicly requested a DO NOT POST.
Posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 11:23:03
In reply to attn. deputies and dr. bob, posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 11:10:24
I feel that posts that demand others to do something and if they don't , and the poster threatens sucide, should be concidered "uncivil" and that poster should be blocked, like all the other "uncivil" behaviors.
Posted by AuntieMel on December 26, 2006, at 11:52:23
In reply to attn. deputies and dr. bob, posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 11:10:24
Ok, guys, please calm down. Disengage.
Posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 13:01:47
In reply to attn. deputies and dr. bob, posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 11:10:24
The 2 posts where I am being talked about and to, in this thread is #23, and #29, by someone who was asked not to post to me.
Posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 13:11:54
In reply to Do I have to take y'all outside?, posted by AuntieMel on December 26, 2006, at 11:52:23
I will calm down when this matter is taken seriously and not made light of by asking us if you should take us all outside. Geeze my mother did do that, and beat the sh*t out of me until I couldn't stand anymore or sit for that matter for days.
Rules have been broken, and nothing is done except threatening to take us outside. If that abusive comment was meant to be funny, well it isn't to anyone who has been "taken outside" and was abused afterwards.
I guess I expected more from a deputy.
Posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 13:47:17
In reply to Re: Do I have to take y'all outside? » AuntieMel, posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 13:11:54
Posted by notfred on December 26, 2006, at 14:08:42
In reply to Re: Restate - *Trigger*, posted by Deneb on December 26, 2006, at 2:45:00
"I know I should have nothing to fear because I didn't threaten anyone (except Bob and that was a long time ago) with my suicide. Reading this thread upsets me a lot. I'm getting so scared I'm thinking of hanging myself if the police come get me. This is not a threat. I'm only thinking of this (i.e. ideations), but clearly I am very upset and scared to be thinking of this."
You asked me not to post to you, so I understand by posting to me the DNP is resended.You keep on saying you did not do these things and no one has said you did; at least I did not. So if the shoe does not fit, do not wear it.
It the recient discussion of enpowerment I wanted others who feel they are being harrassed to know they have the power to make it stop. There can be real conquences to actions.
Please do not post to me, sorry but I have to protect myself. I have had too may bad experiences IRL with sucide.
Posted by AuntieMel on December 26, 2006, at 16:07:19
In reply to Re: Do I have to take y'all outside? » AuntieMel, posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 13:11:54
Sorry, happy. It was an attempt - I guess lame - to diffuse.
I do take it seriously.
Posted by Dinah on December 26, 2006, at 16:21:28
In reply to Re: Restate - *Trigger* » Deneb, posted by NikkiT2 on December 26, 2006, at 7:21:48
> I know in Denebs world ~everything~ is about Deneb, but, for once, try and realise not everything is about you in the ~real~ world.
Please don't jump to conclusions about others, or post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues should of course themselves be civil.
Dr. Bob is always free to override or upgrade deputy decisions. His email is on the bottom of each page. Please feel free to email him if you believe this decision was made in error.
Dinah, acting as deputy for Dr. Bob
Posted by Dinah on December 26, 2006, at 16:25:40
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob - *Trigger*, posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 10:38:34
> I need to stay safe for me, and if I need to ignore a poster, I will do it for my own well being. But I don't need to hear, I am going to kill myself everytime I get into chat either and choose NOT to socialize with a paticular person who I feel is harrassing and blackmailing me.
Please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.
If you have a problem with a post, please use the report this post function. If you have an issue with a babblemail please forward it to Dr. Bob, or to a deputy. If you feel that there is an issue in chat, please report it by email or babblemail to Dr. Bob or a deputy.
Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
Dr. Bob is always free to override or upgrade deputy decisions. His email is on the bottom of each page. Please feel free to email him if you believe this decision was made in error.
Dinah, acting as deputy for Dr. Bob
Posted by Dinah on December 26, 2006, at 16:29:13
In reply to Re: About DNP's, posted by Deneb on December 26, 2006, at 8:53:50
It's against Babble policy to pressure others, or to post to those who have requested that you not post to them.
It is *not* against the rules, as I understand them, for either party to mention the other party, or to discuss the contents of their posts.
I'm going to have to ask you to please not pressure Happyflower to respond to you, per the civility guidelines as I understand them. If I am misapplying them, I'm sure Dr. Bob will feel free to correct me.
Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
Dr. Bob is always free to override deputy decisions. His email is on the bottom of each page. Please feel free to email him if you believe this decision was made in error.
Dinah, acting as deputy to Dr. Bob
Posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 16:43:18
In reply to Please don't pressure others » Deneb, posted by Dinah on December 26, 2006, at 16:29:13
>
> It is *not* against the rules, as I understand them, for either party to mention the other party, or to discuss the contents of their posts.
Posting to someone means directing either the subject line or the body of a post to them. Replying to a post by someone isn't necessarily posting to them.This is what it says in the rules.
Posted by Dinah on December 26, 2006, at 16:49:35
In reply to Re: Please don't pressure others » Dinah, posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 16:43:18
*Directing* a reply to someone is against the rules. My understanding is that mentioning them or the contents of their posts is not.
I believe it recently came up with me personally, and that was my understanding of the rule.
But if Dr. Bob doesn't agree, you can count on him to say so.
Posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 16:54:02
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob - *Trigger* » Happyflower, posted by Dinah on December 26, 2006, at 16:25:40
I have directly told a deputy face to face about the threat of sucide I receive when I choose to not talk to a certain member, in fact this was said in front of Dr. Bob at the time, face to face, and nothing was done about it. It isn't a matter of pressuring me to talk to them. IT is about them saying they are going to kill themselves if I don't talk to them.
In chat this behavior was done right in front of the deputies and nothing was done except to comfort the sucidal person.Only now , after I risk my *ss being blocked for speaking up, offering definate proof, is anything being done. Even that was a slap on the wrist. I give up, I really do.
Posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 17:00:30
In reply to The rule » Happyflower, posted by Dinah on December 26, 2006, at 16:49:35
So a person can get away with a DNP to someone, by not pushing the reply button , but still can say what they want to them in a very obvious way and still be within the rules because they didn't push the reply button specifically to the person?
It seems like the rules says something different to me.
So again it comes down to protecting the people who are good at staying on the line of the rules and getting away with it?
Posted by Dinah on December 26, 2006, at 17:07:51
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob - *Trigger* » Dinah, posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 16:54:02
I think that reporting a situation is different than talking about it. I think that for these issues, an official report or request to deputy *as* deputy or to Dr. Bob *as* administrator needs to be made.
That has always been my understanding.
The report this post function should work for that purpose as well, since it goes to all deputies and to Dr. Bob. Ideally, anyway. I suspect mine isn't working right now.
I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated. Misunderstandings and miscommunications can be frustrating, and I'm sorry for any part my actions played in those.
Posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 17:29:54
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob - *Trigger* » Dinah, posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 16:54:02
It just seems to me that the rules are protecting the wrong people, that if somone can still blackmail and manipulate others, as long as they stay within the lines. But the ones harmed has to jump through hoops to have anything done to protect them.
This is so wrong, and I am protesting against it. I am thinking of seriously of leaving due to this factor, I know I am not the only one who feels this way. If nothing is done with people who manipulate others by threatening sucide in order to get their way, I will probably leave for my own safety and sanity.
Posted by cubic_me on December 26, 2006, at 17:40:51
In reply to I am protesting!, posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 17:29:54
Happyflower, I just wanted to give you support and say that I can totally understand what a difficult situation you have been in.
I feel that the rules seem to be working against the people who give the most support in these situations.
Posted by fayeroe on December 26, 2006, at 17:44:43
In reply to I am protesting!, posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 17:29:54
i also understand and support you completely on this issue. i am sorry that i didn't post this sooner. you're not alone here. xoxox pat
Posted by ClearSkies on December 26, 2006, at 18:39:50
In reply to I am protesting!, posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 17:29:54
> It just seems to me that the rules are protecting the wrong people, that if somone can still blackmail and manipulate others, as long as they stay within the lines. But the ones harmed has to jump through hoops to have anything done to protect them.
I think that reporting a harassment (as Dinah outlined) would be a way to stop the problem. I thought of the dinner with Dr Bob as a casual get together. I didn't realize that you had expected a follow-up to your comment at the time, or else I would have brought it up with Dr Bob and the other deputies for further discussion.
I have to say that that evening was a whirl of sensations for me and I don't actually remember all of our conversations (plus I plain couldn't hear everyone).
ClearSkies
Posted by madeline on December 26, 2006, at 20:10:41
In reply to I am protesting!, posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 17:29:54
I support you on this HF. I would hate to see you leave, and hope that this situation can be resolved.
Maddie.
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