![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 64. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by headachequeen on November 29, 2004, at 23:34:02
In reply to Re: please be civil » headachequeen, posted by Dr. Bob on November 29, 2004, at 21:02:25
Sorry, but something about the post led me and a couple of others with whom I discussed it off the board to believe that this person was not really serious in intent but trying to be either rude or hurtful and had succeeded in hurting one or two of the people who wrote using babblemail...
sometimes one is inclined to defend and protect others first...
kat
Posted by headachequeen on November 29, 2004, at 23:34:02
In reply to Re: please be civil » headachequeen, posted by Dr. Bob on November 29, 2004, at 21:05:54
> > just ignore the child until it learns to behave properly --- recognise the proper behaviour and ignore the negative is the way they taught us to react back in child psych 101
>
> Sorry, but:
>
> > replies to the above post ... should of course themselves be civil.
>
> If you want to encourage others not to respond, one civil way to do that is to post something like:
>
> > Different points of view are fine, but sometimes discussions just lead to discord and it may be best just not to respond.
>
> Thanks,
>
> BobLet's try this again...
the message I sent and the one that was posted are not one and the same...
I sent an apology with the added remark that in discussions of the board with a couple of the members the consensus was that this person really didn't want to be helpful, more hurtful and from babblemails I received, had succeeded...
it is sometimes difficult not to defend those who have come to matter to one
kat
Posted by bridgey1128 on November 29, 2004, at 23:34:03
In reply to Re: » Dr. Bob, posted by headachequeen on November 29, 2004, at 21:07:43
I thought he just wanted attention personally and if we hadn't responded at all he would have just got tired of playing and taken his ball and gone elsewhere. Remarks like his are best to just be ignored. Sorry if he hurt anyone's feelings by them responding to him. :(
Posted by gardenergirl on November 29, 2004, at 23:39:42
In reply to Re: Life sucks, posted by HermanMunster on November 28, 2004, at 23:45:10
HM,
I congratulate you for branching out in your range of topics. I find that one appears much more interesting when one has at least TWO ways to express oneself. ;)However, I am feeling tremendous horror in visualizing someone taking your suggestion to CC. I am shocked and appalled that someone would suggest self-harm to a poster who is need of our support. But then, I still find myself surprised that the entire world was not raised by my mother. (And that's probably a very good thing.) Color me naive again.
I am grateful that the poster to whom you addressed your advice has been here long enough to recognize a newcomer and thus view such a post through the appropriate filters.
I would like to personally request that you refrain from posting similar self-harm advice to anyone on this board. In addition, I ask you to please read the civility guidelines in the FAQ before posting again. I'm sure you will find it chock full of guidelines to aid you in understanding your place in this community.
Regards,
gg
Posted by Dr. Bob on November 30, 2004, at 0:16:05
In reply to Re:, posted by bridgey1128 on November 29, 2004, at 23:07:20
> this person really didn't want to be helpful...
>
> kat> I thought he just wanted attention personally
>
> bridgey1128Sorry, but please don't jump to conclusions about others.
--
> it is sometimes difficult not to defend those who have come to matter to one
>
> katSure, but please try to defend without counterattacking? Welcome to Admin,
Bob
Posted by rainy on November 30, 2004, at 3:52:26
In reply to Re: please be civil » headachequeen » bridgey1128, posted by Dr. Bob on November 30, 2004, at 0:16:05
I wasn't hurt by Herman's suggestion, but I was concerned that it might be off putting to potential contributors to the board. This concern increased as it sat there like a huge pimple throughout the day.
It was just Sunday that I was cut off abruptly in midsentence--Confirm Your Post--for something that had to do with medication, had I been allowed to continue. I realize I ramble like the Snake River, but still, how come HermanMunster got to sit all day and sometimes we are redirected or cut off immediately?
Also, as I remember her message, while I knew Kat was referring to an inappropriate post, she was talking about an abstract notion--how to deal with a child who isn't conforming to accepted norms--so in my opinion, she wasn't calling the poster names.
Do you agree that it's best to ignore this kind of post--pretend it didn't happen? Since we all knew it had and it felt malicious in intent, I truly didn't know what to do. (Either malicious or from a troubled person, especially after reading the post that gardengirl was chastened for responding to.) Referring it to administration didn't cross my Topamaxed out mind.
rainy
Posted by rainy on November 30, 2004, at 4:57:30
In reply to Re: please be civil, posted by rainy on November 30, 2004, at 3:52:26
On closer reading I see that gardengirl was Not chastened by her reply to Mr. Munster. Apologies for my earlier, hasty misunderstanding.
rainy
Posted by Jai Narayan on December 2, 2004, at 0:07:40
In reply to Re: If you were to have ECT where would you go?, posted by HermanMunster on November 29, 2004, at 0:03:38
Posted by Larry Hoover on December 2, 2004, at 0:07:41
In reply to this is worth blocking HermanMunster IMO (nm), posted by Jai Narayan on November 30, 2004, at 9:09:40
Posted by Jai Narayan on December 2, 2004, at 0:07:42
In reply to Re: If you were to have ECT where would you go?, posted by Bob on November 28, 2004, at 23:49:41
Posted by denise1904 on December 2, 2004, at 0:09:06
In reply to Re: If you were to have ECT where would you go?, posted by HermanMunster on November 28, 2004, at 23:39:38
Herman,
Thanks so much for the advice, I would if I could but don't trust these car repair places, they tend to rip you off!
Denise
Posted by Gabbix2 on December 2, 2004, at 20:36:55
In reply to this is worth blocking HermanMunster IMO (nm), posted by Jai Narayan on November 30, 2004, at 9:09:40
That's the weird ( far to mild a word) thing about the blocking rules that people have been bashing their heads against as long as admin has been in existance. No matter how heinous, first offences only get a warning.
It defies comprehension. Originally the intent was that new people wouldn't get blocked until they got used to the rules, but really there have to be some exceptions made.
I saw someone get a warning for stating that they were glad a poster had died and hoped they burned in hell. And yet ZEN got a 24 week block for a mild slight against Dr. Bob.What was it TEEJAY said "rules are adhered to by fools and guidelines for the wise" something like that.
Posted by alesta on December 3, 2004, at 0:25:09
In reply to Crazymaking admin rules incl poss trigger. » Jai Narayan, posted by Gabbix2 on December 2, 2004, at 20:36:55
i agree w/ y'all. this herman dude should've been outta here. maybe if he'd been extricated after the first horrendous blow some real hurt feelings could've been spared. if you're going to have a civility policy consisting of implementing blocks, this would be the time to use it. i couldn't believe all the remarks this guy was permitted to make.
dr. bob substituted the "please be supportive" phrase in the place of "please be civil" for hermanmunster. why??? to allow this guy not to be blocked? i don't get it!! sexual harassment isn't "unsupportive" anyway. it's uncivil.
amy
Posted by gardenergirl on December 3, 2004, at 0:32:37
In reply to Re: Crazymaking admin rules incl poss trigger., posted by alesta on December 3, 2004, at 0:25:09
Hi alesta,
Nice to see you around! I admit I kind of expected a block, too. And I don't know about please be supportive. But I did wonder if perhaps the frequent posting that Munster did was out of some kind of psychological need or disorder. And perhaps Dr. Bob was wanting to respect that if that were the case? But it probably is more likely that all the posts occured before Dr. Bob was able to intervene, and thus they are all the "first offense"? At least that is how I interpret it.It is confusing, though. I suppose somebody doing a qualitative analysis of all the posts that got blocks and for how long, etc. might find some interesting data.
gg
Posted by alesta on December 3, 2004, at 1:30:50
In reply to Re: Crazymaking admin rules incl poss trigger. » alesta, posted by gardenergirl on December 3, 2004, at 0:32:37
> Hi alesta,
> Nice to see you around! I admit I kind of expected a block, too. And I don't know about please be supportive. But I did wonder if perhaps the frequent posting that Munster did was out of some kind of psychological need or disorder. And perhaps Dr. Bob was wanting to respect that if that were the case?hey, gg! (damn, i was gonna make a clean break from this board. <g>) good to hear from you, sweetie!
i hear ya. (i personally would get rid of all the civility guidelines and blocks. i think they're mostly worthless and cause for extreme conflict here on admin.)
<But I did wonder if perhaps the frequent posting that Munster did was out of some kind of psychological need or disorder. And perhaps Dr. Bob was wanting to respect that if that were the case?
but why is munster the only person to get this respect? it is rather curious..perhaps this is one of dr. bob's alter-egos as was discussed a while ago on admin?..kidding..i don't know..maybe you have a point..but munster's disorder (if he indeed had one) is negatively impacting others with their own psychological problems..he just seems like a bully to me..i saw something on tv once that it's a misconception that bullies have low self-esteem..that they do it because it's fun.
<But it probably is more likely that all the posts occured before Dr. Bob was able to intervene, and thus they are all the "first offense"? At least that is how I interpret it.
good point. but he still did invent that new phrase "please be supportive".
oh well, all this stuff is just IMO..i'm starting to get really nervous about being here (on admin)..i mean no harm, ppl..:-)
> It is confusing, though. I suppose somebody doing a qualitative analysis of all the posts that got blocks and for how long, etc. might find some interesting data.
i bet they would. no doubt about that.:)
enough serious stuff..how are things w/ you lately? it's getting a little cold to garden..guess you'll have to take up another hobby for the winter months?? or maybe you could get an indoor chia herb garden? :)
amy :)
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 3, 2004, at 4:39:58
In reply to Re: Crazymaking admin rules incl poss trigger. » gardenergirl, posted by alesta on December 3, 2004, at 1:30:50
> Do you agree that it's best to ignore this kind of post--pretend it didn't happen? Since we all knew it had and it felt malicious in intent, I truly didn't know what to do. (Either malicious or from a troubled person, especially after reading the post that gardengirl was chastened for responding to.)
>
> rainyIgnoring is fine, or giving the person the benefit of the doubt...
--
> it probably is more likely that all the posts occured before Dr. Bob was able to intervene, and thus they are all the "first offense"?
>
> ggThat's what it was, sorry...
--
> i personally would get rid of all the civility guidelines and blocks. i think they're mostly worthless and cause for extreme conflict here on admin.
>
> amyI agree with Haim Weinberg that that's an "illusory" belief:
> > We can argue that processes in the VLG reveal the Internet Unconscious, which contains an illusory belief that ultimate freedom of speech is achieved in cyberspace and that forum members always show respect and tolerance to different opinions.
>
> --Weinberg H. The large group in a virtual environment.
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20040902/msgs/388862.htmlBob
Posted by alesta on December 3, 2004, at 5:37:49
In reply to Re: Crazymaking admin rules, posted by Dr. Bob on December 3, 2004, at 4:39:58
all i have to say to that, dr. bob, is look at Psychcentral. they are a very peaceful community where the members are treated with respect. they have no civility guidelines or blocks. (the only rule they have is no political discussions.)
on an additional note, most of the feelings on PB are hurt while discussing matters concerning or related to the civility guidelines. how ironic. think about it. perhaps you could just try an experiment and see which way is more peaceful? a trial run, perhaps? if you don't like it, you can always go back to the old way..
people are going to be rude occasionally, but your civility guidelines and blocks always seem to step in after the fact. (they certainly didn't protect anyone from hermanmunster.) yes, there will be little arguments here and there, but they are there now already. that's life.
well that's enough admin for me. i'm going to try and quietly leave before i get sucked into the realm of neverending discussions..:-)
amy
Posted by rainy on December 3, 2004, at 5:53:18
In reply to Re: please be civil, posted by rainy on November 30, 2004, at 3:52:26
Is HermanMunster blocked now?
rainy
Posted by Atticus on December 3, 2004, at 9:01:54
In reply to Re: Crazymaking admin rules » Dr. Bob, posted by alesta on December 3, 2004, at 5:37:49
I think that Amy makes some very valid points. Your civility guidelines did absolutely nothing to deter HermanMunster; rather, it appears to me that he/she either simply lost interest in teasing mentally ill people for a laugh or is taking a breather before he comes back for more. In any case, the system failed miserably. How many posts will he get onto the board next time before you get around to doing something? I really can't see the Through-the-looking-glass logic in blocking Susan47 for innocently using *ss as a substitute for donkey (and using it to describe herself only, to boot) but in permitting HermanMunster to continue participating in this site after he advocated self-harm with a .357 Magnum to another poster. I'm wondering if your reference to Haim Weinberg is rhetorical misdirection. (Since I utterly disagree with Freudian theory, I find the notion of a "collective unconscious" on the Internet to be dubious at best, ludicrous at worst.) If you were to remove all your punitive powers, as Amy suggests, and the boards did continue functioning more or less as they do now, how would that make you feel? Superfluous? Is this what you really fear? I do have to note that most administrators at similar sites are far less intrusive presences, almost invisible. I often wonder why this isn't simply called "Psycho-Babble" rather than "Psycho-Babble BY DR. BOB," with your photo appearing at both the top and bottom of every board page. There appears to be less of a need to "publicly" assert and demonstrate control over the posters at other mental health support sites. Of course, this is your sandbox; you can do whatever you want (glad to see the addition of that disclaimer disassociating the site from the U. of Chicago, by the way; however, your continued use of your university e-mail address, rather than a private one, could still confuse people -- as it did me when I was a newbie -- and lend the patina of the university's stellar reputation to what is, after all, just a bit of private enterprise). But I'd be curious to know what other posters think about what could conceivably be construed as excessive self-promotion by the administrator. Atticus
Posted by Toph on December 3, 2004, at 10:03:56
In reply to Dr. Bob : Re: Crazymaking admin rules, posted by Atticus on December 3, 2004, at 9:01:54
> ...I often wonder why this isn't simply called "Psycho-Babble" rather than "Psycho-Babble BY DR. BOB," with your photo appearing at both the top and bottom of every board page...
>
May I suggest that for brevity's sake you call it "Psycho-Bobble" instead of "Psycho-Babble by Dr. Bob."
-Toph
Posted by Larry Hoover on December 3, 2004, at 12:35:28
In reply to Crazymaking admin rules incl poss trigger. » Jai Narayan, posted by Gabbix2 on December 2, 2004, at 20:36:55
> That's the weird ( far to mild a word) thing about the blocking rules that people have been bashing their heads against as long as admin has been in existance. No matter how heinous, first offences only get a warning.
Unless they've been PBC'd already. And anyone can PBC someone. If Bob sees they've been PBC'd, that big old first offense moves on to a block.
I didn't PBC Herman Munster, but I PBC'd Shalom34Israel. When Bob came back, that meant a block was enforced, as the behaviour continued.
At least, if you see an uncivil post, whether a newcomer or not, refer to the FAQ, and ask them to be civil. If they don't change their ways, they can be blocked.
Lar
Posted by rainy on December 3, 2004, at 12:45:56
In reply to Re: Crazymaking admin rules incl poss trigger. » Gabbix2, posted by Larry Hoover on December 3, 2004, at 12:35:28
sorry, Lar, but what is a PBC?
newbie rainy
Posted by Tabitha on December 3, 2004, at 13:49:31
In reply to Re: Crazymaking admin rules » Dr. Bob, posted by alesta on December 3, 2004, at 5:37:49
> all i have to say to that, dr. bob, is look at Psychcentral. they are a very peaceful community where the members are treated with respect. they have no civility guidelines or blocks. (the only rule they have is no political discussions.)
>It's true Psychcentral appears peaceful, but it might not be an entirely fair comparison. I think some of the moderating there goes on behind the scenes through private messages, and in the past I've seen heated threads get locked and/or deleted. I'm not exactly sure what the rules are there for the moderators. At this site, it's all out in the open, which IMO has both advantages and disadvantages.
Posted by Larry Hoover on December 3, 2004, at 15:27:42
In reply to Re: Crazymaking admin rules incl poss trigger. » Larry Hoover, posted by rainy on December 3, 2004, at 12:45:56
> sorry, Lar, but what is a PBC?
> newbie rainyPlease Be Civil, PBC. It's the warning that comes before blocking begins.
Lar
Posted by Lou Pilder on December 3, 2004, at 16:07:14
In reply to Dr. Bob : Re: Crazymaking admin rules, posted by Atticus on December 3, 2004, at 9:01:54
Atticus,
You wrote,[...I'm curious in what others think...about ...self promotion by the administrator...].
This has bee nmentioned also by the poster ,Mary Bowers. My thinking is to put myself in Dr. Hsiung's place as administrator of a site like this and try to answer your question.
If I was the administrator, I would not put my picture in the title of the site, butI would put my name. If I had such a forum, I would call it, "Lou's Haven of Rest."
Lou
Go forward in thread:
Psycho-Babble Administration | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.