![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 7 to 31 of 76. Go back in thread:
Posted by Phil on December 26, 2012, at 11:03:59
In reply to feel finished, posted by g_g_g_unit on December 26, 2012, at 7:48:12
ggg..Try to remember that this time of year is terrible for many people especially for those of us with mental illness. I can't remember a truly symptom free Christmas and I'm almost 60.
I started on meds at 28 and have been on 70+ and it's always a struggle to one degree or another.
I told my psychiatrist many months ago that I'm running out of options on one class of meds. He smiled and said two more were approved this month. I groaned but I'm grateful.
You *will* get through this. You will look back and think, I'm so glad I'm not in that space now.
I hope you can *put it aside* (any decisions)till we get through the holidays and then make a decision on how to go forward. Here's to Cheetos and ice cream and less than optimal upkeep for a while then resume the baby steps in 2013. The understanding and patience you show to others here, show to yourself. You are so much more than what this disease is trying to make you believe.
Posted by SLS on December 26, 2012, at 11:33:05
In reply to feel finished, posted by g_g_g_unit on December 26, 2012, at 7:48:12
> I had no idea that things could reach this point.
Yes, they absolutely can.
> I've found myself in the pits of depression, agony, despair and so on but always felt some sense of hope or reason to continue.
You have a number of choices. All but one of them require that you remain alive.
I won't go fishing for a treatment option for you at this time. You know that I would probably come up with something. If not me, someone else will. I'm sure it won't be easy, but you cannot be certain that you will never find a treatment that will work. You don't know for certain that you are doomed to live out your life in the altered state of depression. Fortunately, new and novel drugs are still being developed to treat it.
Just over a year ago, I had reached the same point of despair and demoralization as you seem to have. I had reached the end of the line. There were no more treatments that I could come up with. Viibryd had been my last chance to get well. I experienced a major existential crisis for which I saw no escape. However, as my doctor had so accurately concluded, much of the origin of this intense episode was the result of discontinuing Viibryd too abruptly and experiencing a withdrawal depressive reaction with anxiety and suicidality. I insisted that he was wrong, however. It felt like my thoughts were the cause of my feelings of doom, and not some drug reaction. The content of my thoughts were certainly real enough and based upon my taking stock of my life and the prospect of being doomed to forever live a subhuman existence. The circumstances of my plight were real. As I learned afterwards, it was indeed Viibryd withdrawal depression that amplified my reaction to those very real life circumstances. As my doctor suspected, the suicidal state resolved despite nothing being different in my those circumstances. Still, I remained pessimistic. I don't know what I would have done had prazosin not produced a significant improvement in my condition a month later. It is possible that I would have come closer to suicide, even though the withdrawal depressive state had disappeared on its own.
> Everything feels utterly pointless.
I can totally understand this.
> I feel lost, like my dreams are gone,
My dreams died many years ago. I had quite a few.
> there is nothing to direct myself towards anymore, no vision of a future .. nearly all of my 20s have been consumed by this horrible illness.
It is a terrible loss. An important decade of your life is being stolen from you through no fault of your own. Many people try to help, but the illness is just too powerful and unrelenting. I am having a difficult time accepting the theft of my teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, and now my 50s.
You are 27.
27 is old.
27 is young.When I reached age 32, I felt old. I felt that life had passed me by. I had missed everything. Older people insisted that I was still very young and had the better part of my life ahead of me. I didn't believe them. I sure didn't feel young. I was just too young to know any better.
Take my word for it. You are still very young.
> I don't know what to do anymore.
I know what it is like to reach a wall at which there are no remaining treatment alternatives to break through it. You have exhausted all of them. There is no hope. I usually find hope in uncertainty. A year ago, I reached a point at which I became certain that I was to die ill. My greatest fear was to be realized: I was to die without ever having lived. At age 52, I had reached a seminal moment in my life.
> I know there is only so much professionals can do, but the problem is I don't care about myself enough anymore to want to work with them.
Do you feel as though you are always at odds with your doctors? If so, why?
> My OCD has reached such a terrifying apex that I couldn't even begin to describe how much bizarre phobic avoidance etc. I go through.
I do not have OCD. However, for many years while I was at my baseline severity of depression, I would hide whenever someone would walk or drive by the house. I didn't want to be seen through the window. I am not sure why. Avoidance was just part of the illness. What was particularly frustrating and confusing to me was that I really do love people. For some reason, I was just afraid of being around them. I found that when I reach remission or have a brief robust response to treatment, I become quite gregarious and don't mind being surrounded by a sea of people. I can tell that people genuinely like being around me. I am engaged. Depression disengages me. People are uncomfortable around me because I am mute and not very accessible. They can sense my discomfort to be in a social gathering. I have nothing to talk about. I just want to go home and be left alone.
> Trying to piece together some semblance of a life at this point seems impossible. I don't want to live a compromised life, always battling this illness. I *know* that I could have been capable of so much more, and that thought -- what could have been -- eats me up.
I have been devoured, regurgitated, and devoured again. This illness has pummeled me into submission. I reached this state about 10 years ago. I could no longer maintain my positive energy and enthusiasm. Much of me is now gone. I don't feel me inside me anymore. I don't think these parts of me will ever reappear. I can't think about these things anymore. They will never again exist. My best years have been forever stolen from me. My only desire now is to be able to actualize my remaining moments in life with peak experiences, despite my lack of achievement. This can only happen for me if I emerge from depression.
> I guess this is kind of attention-seeking,
No. It is a kind of help-seeking.
> but I don't know what to do to help myself.
Exactly.
> I feel like I'm trying to destroy myself
No. The illness is destroying your morale. Without morale, you are easy prey for the depression to cause you to:
> .. I binge on junk food, I've stopped exercising and grooming, I sleep as much as I can, I've started abusing certain prescriptions just so I can socialize occasionally (which is something I never would have done in the past). My therapist gave me suggestions, but I don't even bother enlisting them. I feel like I've just been going round in circles in treatment for the past 6 years, and sitting in a park or listening to calming music isn't going to give me a life back.
It is okay to allow yourself to feel defeated. Although entirely justified, it is still only a feeling. It does not mean that you are truly defeated. It just feels that way for the moment. The feelings will eventually subside. If you have indeed been defeated in your latest battle, there is still the war to be fought. If you win the war, life will become nirvana for you. It is worth fighting for. Your exhaustion will be replaced by enthusiasm.
"The measure of achievement lies not in how high the mountain,
but in how hard the climb.The measure of success lies only in how high one feels he must
climb to get there."These are my words. They were meant for me. I wrote them at least 15 years ago as I struggled with my lack of success as it is usually defined. I need to be reminded of them every now and then. It is a hell of an achievement that you are still alive. However, you have achieved so much more than just survive. I'll let you make a list.
This has been a rather rambling message. I hope some part of it makes sense.
- Scott
Posted by Prefect on December 26, 2012, at 11:37:32
In reply to feel finished, posted by g_g_g_unit on December 26, 2012, at 7:48:12
You Wrote: "I guess there are certain options I could try, like high-dose SSRI or whatever, but I don't want to end up so numbed/sedated etc. that life just becomes a purgatory"
What's your definition of high dose? If theraputic range of Luvox is 100-200 mg would you consider that high dose? My point is most people don't become sedated on that dosage. You may have a perception on SSRIs that may just be a perception. I'm on a 100 mg Luvox and your post made me weep...I'm just sharing this fact with you to prove I'm not a zombie.
Sorry I just don't know your history enough to know if you've given SSRIs a fair chance or not, so please explain.
Posted by brynb on December 26, 2012, at 13:58:19
In reply to feel finished, posted by g_g_g_unit on December 26, 2012, at 7:48:12
g,
i'm not sure i can add anything more to what other posters so precisely and eloquently already posted, except that I get it. And I'm in the same(ish) position as you right now, except I'm a young/old 38-year old.
hang in there. that's what i'm trying to do.
-b
Posted by SLS on December 26, 2012, at 14:01:50
In reply to Re: feel finished » g_g_g_unit, posted by brynb on December 26, 2012, at 13:58:19
> g,
>
> i'm not sure i can add anything more to what other posters so precisely and eloquently already posted, except that I get it. And I'm in the same(ish) position as you right now, except I'm a young/old 38-year old.
>
> hang in there. that's what i'm trying to do.
You'll be okay.
- Scott
Posted by Lou Pilder on December 26, 2012, at 14:16:04
In reply to Re: feel finished » brynb, posted by SLS on December 26, 2012, at 14:01:50
> > g,
> >
> > i'm not sure i can add anything more to what other posters so precisely and eloquently already posted, except that I get it. And I'm in the same(ish) position as you right now, except I'm a young/old 38-year old.
> >
> > hang in there. that's what i'm trying to do.
>
>
> You'll be okay.
>
>
> - ScottS,
You wrote,[...You'll be okay...].
By what authority do you use, if any, to write that the poster {will} be okay? There are people here that have died, so they are not okay unless desth is okay, which I do not consider to be okay.
Your statement could cause the suicide of the poster, or lead to a life-ruining condition or addiction or for the poster to commit mass-murder by the nature that the poster could think that by you saying the *will* be okay that they could continue taking mind-altering addicting drugs that even in withdrawal a mind-altered state could happen for them to kill themselves or others.
Freinds, the state of mind that the poster writes about here is a state of mind in a crisis that if not addressed could lead to death and/or the deaths of others. The records shows where the road of psychiatric drugs leads to. Unless a detour is taken, what aasurance could this poster have that they will be okay?
Lou
Posted by brynb on December 26, 2012, at 14:22:59
In reply to Lou's request-ohkey? » SLS, posted by Lou Pilder on December 26, 2012, at 14:16:04
> > > g,
> > >
> > > i'm not sure i can add anything more to what other posters so precisely and eloquently already posted, except that I get it. And I'm in the same(ish) position as you right now, except I'm a young/old 38-year old.
> > >
> > > hang in there. that's what i'm trying to do.
> >
> >
> > You'll be okay.
> >
> >
> > - Scott
>
> S,
> You wrote,[...You'll be okay...].
> By what authority do you use, if any, to write that the poster {will} be okay? There are people here that have died, so they are not okay unless desth is okay, which I do not consider to be okay.
> Your statement could cause the suicide of the poster, or lead to a life-ruining condition or addiction or for the poster to commit mass-murder by the nature that the poster could think that by you saying the *will* be okay that they could continue taking mind-altering addicting drugs that even in withdrawal a mind-altered state could happen for them to kill themselves or others.
> Freinds, the state of mind that the poster writes about here is a state of mind in a crisis that if not addressed could lead to death and/or the deaths of others. The records shows where the road of psychiatric drugs leads to. Unless a detour is taken, what aasurance could this poster have that they will be okay?
> LouSeriously, Lou, if you have nothing positive to add, and clearly you don't, then DON'T WRITE ANYTHING.
It's nice to hear a simple sentiment that reassures things will work out from someone who understands how you feel. It helped me. So just stop posting junk and find a new hobby because it seems your posts are no longer aimed at being helpful.
-b
Posted by Lou Pilder on December 26, 2012, at 14:47:05
In reply to Re: Lou's request-ohkey? » Lou Pilder, posted by brynb on December 26, 2012, at 14:22:59
> > > > g,
> > > >
> > > > i'm not sure i can add anything more to what other posters so precisely and eloquently already posted, except that I get it. And I'm in the same(ish) position as you right now, except I'm a young/old 38-year old.
> > > >
> > > > hang in there. that's what i'm trying to do.
> > >
> > >
> > > You'll be okay.
> > >
> > >
> > > - Scott
> >
> > S,
> > You wrote,[...You'll be okay...].
> > By what authority do you use, if any, to write that the poster {will} be okay? There are people here that have died, so they are not okay unless desth is okay, which I do not consider to be okay.
> > Your statement could cause the suicide of the poster, or lead to a life-ruining condition or addiction or for the poster to commit mass-murder by the nature that the poster could think that by you saying the *will* be okay that they could continue taking mind-altering addicting drugs that even in withdrawal a mind-altered state could happen for them to kill themselves or others.
> > Freinds, the state of mind that the poster writes about here is a state of mind in a crisis that if not addressed could lead to death and/or the deaths of others. The records shows where the road of psychiatric drugs leads to. Unless a detour is taken, what aasurance could this poster have that they will be okay?
> > Lou
>
> Seriously, Lou, if you have nothing positive to add, and clearly you don't, then DON'T WRITE ANYTHING.
>
> It's nice to hear a simple sentiment that reassures things will work out from someone who understands how you feel. It helped me. So just stop posting junk and find a new hobby because it seems your posts are no longer aimed at being helpful.
>
> -b,
You wrote,[...clearly you don't...DON"T WRITE xxx....]..[...reasures that things will work out...stop posting xxx...your posts are no longer aimed at being xxx...].
Please do not wtrite what could be thought to be distrespectful to me in my attempts to save lives here and prevent life-ruining conditions and addictions and prevent innocent people from being murdered by those taking mind-altering drugs given by a psychiatrist/doctor. Your statements here about me are lies.
The aspect of assuring someone in a crisis that takes mind-altering drugs or is withdrawaling from them could lead to a false idea that taking the drugs will lead them out of their dispair and depresssion while the drugs could sink them into a deeper depression into the pit of suicide/murder.
And to you parents that are trying to make a decision as to drug your child or not in collabortation with a psychiatrist/doctor, I say to you to find out the truth so that your child is not killed by the drugs or that your child does not kill others. There is a continual unfolding of knowledge that debunks the "chemical imbalance" theory and shows that the imbalance is caused by the drugs. Will this member be Ok? Do you want your child to suffer what you see in the poster's writings here?
There is a way for people to come out of the darkness of depression and addiction and have a new life, and be healed. I am prevented not only by Mr Hsiung from posting that here, but also look at the attack by members toward me here in trying to stop me from saving lives. And Mr Hsiung is allowing it, allowing the defamation toward me. And this forum is for support. Support of what?
Lou
Posted by SLS on December 26, 2012, at 15:26:00
In reply to Lou's request-ohkey? » SLS, posted by Lou Pilder on December 26, 2012, at 14:16:04
> > > g,
> > >
> > > i'm not sure i can add anything more to what other posters so precisely and eloquently already posted, except that I get it. And I'm in the same(ish) position as you right now, except I'm a young/old 38-year old.
> > >
> > > hang in there. that's what i'm trying to do.
> >
> >
> > You'll be okay.
> >
> >
> > - Scott
>
> S,
> You wrote,[...You'll be okay...].
> By what authority do you use, if any, to write that the poster {will} be okay? There are people here that have died, so they are not okay unless desth is okay, which I do not consider to be okay.
> Your statement could cause the suicide of the poster, or lead to a life-ruining condition or addiction or for the poster to commit mass-murder by the nature that the poster could think that by you saying the *will* be okay that they could continue taking mind-altering addicting drugs that even in withdrawal a mind-altered state could happen for them to kill themselves or others.
> Freinds, the state of mind that the poster writes about here is a state of mind in a crisis that if not addressed could lead to death and/or the deaths of others. The records shows where the road of psychiatric drugs leads to. Unless a detour is taken, what aasurance could this poster have that they will be okay?
> Lou
I worry about you, Lou. I'm not sure that you will be okay.
- Scott
Posted by DavidSmith on December 26, 2012, at 16:02:28
In reply to Re: Lou's request-ohkey? » Lou Pilder, posted by brynb on December 26, 2012, at 14:22:59
"Seriously, Lou, if you have nothing positive to add, and clearly you don't, then DON'T WRITE ANYTHING."
Lou, your concerns about a life based upon "future treatments" are justified.
At 54, I finally realize that happiness and wholeness comes from serving others.
If we put that within a Christian framework then it becomes obvious.Meds can help but they should not become a lifestyle.
BTW, shouldn't the original post be in Psycho-Babble Psychology?
Posted by Lou Pilder on December 26, 2012, at 16:21:14
In reply to Re: Lou's request-ohkey? » Lou Pilder, posted by SLS on December 26, 2012, at 15:26:00
> > > > g,
> > > >
> > > > i'm not sure i can add anything more to what other posters so precisely and eloquently already posted, except that I get it. And I'm in the same(ish) position as you right now, except I'm a young/old 38-year old.
> > > >
> > > > hang in there. that's what i'm trying to do.
> > >
> > >
> > > You'll be okay.
> > >
> > >
> > > - Scott
> >
> > S,
> > You wrote,[...You'll be okay...].
> > By what authority do you use, if any, to write that the poster {will} be okay? There are people here that have died, so they are not okay unless desth is okay, which I do not consider to be okay.
> > Your statement could cause the suicide of the poster, or lead to a life-ruining condition or addiction or for the poster to commit mass-murder by the nature that the poster could think that by you saying the *will* be okay that they could continue taking mind-altering addicting drugs that even in withdrawal a mind-altered state could happen for them to kill themselves or others.
> > Freinds, the state of mind that the poster writes about here is a state of mind in a crisis that if not addressed could lead to death and/or the deaths of others. The records shows where the road of psychiatric drugs leads to. Unless a detour is taken, what aasurance could this poster have that they will be okay?
> > Lou
>
>
> I worry about you, Lou. I'm not sure that you will be okay.
>
>
> - Scott
> You wrote the above.
Is that a threat?
Lou
>
Posted by DavidSmith on December 26, 2012, at 16:51:43
In reply to Lou's reply- » SLS, posted by Lou Pilder on December 26, 2012, at 16:21:14
> I worry about you, Lou. I'm not sure that you will be okay.
>
>
> - Scott
> You wrote the above.
"Is that a threat?
Lou"Lou-
I doubt Scott is threatening you.
I can see how you would feel that way considering
the intolerance some people have for divergent, or
even emerging viewpoints. Also, when we stop
medications we may feel especially vulnerable.I am struggling with a tardive diagnosis myself.
A really good p-doc will assist with withdrawl
and its symptoms.You are on to something. Just stay positive.
:-)
Posted by SLS on December 26, 2012, at 17:06:31
In reply to Lou's reply- » SLS, posted by Lou Pilder on December 26, 2012, at 16:21:14
> > > > > g,
> > > > >
> > > > > i'm not sure i can add anything more to what other posters so precisely and eloquently already posted, except that I get it. And I'm in the same(ish) position as you right now, except I'm a young/old 38-year old.
> > > > >
> > > > > hang in there. that's what i'm trying to do.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > You'll be okay.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > - Scott
> > >
> > > S,
> > > You wrote,[...You'll be okay...].
> > > By what authority do you use, if any, to write that the poster {will} be okay? There are people here that have died, so they are not okay unless desth is okay, which I do not consider to be okay.
> > > Your statement could cause the suicide of the poster, or lead to a life-ruining condition or addiction or for the poster to commit mass-murder by the nature that the poster could think that by you saying the *will* be okay that they could continue taking mind-altering addicting drugs that even in withdrawal a mind-altered state could happen for them to kill themselves or others.
> > > Freinds, the state of mind that the poster writes about here is a state of mind in a crisis that if not addressed could lead to death and/or the deaths of others. The records shows where the road of psychiatric drugs leads to. Unless a detour is taken, what aasurance could this poster have that they will be okay?
> > > Lou
> >
> >
> > I worry about you, Lou. I'm not sure that you will be okay.
> >
> >
> > - Scott
> > You wrote the above.
> Is that a threat?
No. It is not a threat. Don't worry.I am genuinely concerned about you. That's all.
- Scott
Posted by jono_in_adelaide on December 26, 2012, at 17:18:48
In reply to feel finished, posted by g_g_g_unit on December 26, 2012, at 7:48:12
GGG
have you tried
*a high dose SSRI (say, Sertaline 200mg-300mg)
per day plus nortriptyline or Edronax*Parnate plus nortriptyline
*High dose Effexor (300mg/day) plus mirtazapine
*Nardil plus nortriptyline
*Low dose atypical antipsychotics combined with various antidepressants
Dont give up, there are plenty of end of the line approaches
A period as an inpatient at a private facility would also give you some time-out.... please dont give up mate, there are still things you probaboy havent tried, and new discoveries are being made all the time.
One thing - you seem fairly intolorant of side effedcts - given that you have a life threatening condition, i think yiou may beed to accept that you'll have to put up with some side effects in order to effectively treat your disorder, done be afraid of high dose SSRI's, they arnt goingt to make you a zombie, especialy if you add an activating antidepressant like Edronax to the mix
Posted by SLS on December 26, 2012, at 17:58:29
In reply to Brynb - Please be civil., posted by DavidSmith on December 26, 2012, at 16:02:28
> "Seriously, Lou, if you have nothing positive to add, and clearly you don't, then DON'T WRITE ANYTHING."
>
> Lou, your concerns about a life based upon "future treatments" are justified.I must have missed something in Lou's writings. What are "future treatments", and what would a life based upon them look like?
> At 54, I finally realize that happiness and wholeness comes from serving others.
> If we put that within a Christian framework then it becomes obvious.That's great that you have found a spiritual construct that works for *you*. I can't say that I feel a part of your "we", though. As for me, I tend to lean towards Buddhism. I like Judaism, too. Fortunately, my spirituality has helped save my life and provides me with a way to see the obvious - that which makes *me* happy and whole. This certainly includes helping others, although not necessarily serving them. I serve me when I help others.
> Meds can help but they should not become a lifestyle.
In what ways can meds become a lifestyle? I don't understand. What would such a lifestyle look like?
> BTW, shouldn't the original post be in Psycho-Babble Psychology?
Probably not. I don't think the issue is one of psychodynamics. To me, it looks more like a person in the throes of desperation reaching out as they struggle to live with a painful and refractory illness. Would psychotherapy help? My guess is that it could help influence in a positive manner the content and of one's thoughts and impart a more positive outlook. It is a matter of helping someone survive their illness. The most pressing issue is one of outlook and morale. This is not so different from someone facing any other critical medical condition who has failed to respond to numerous treatments. Since no one forum on Psycho-Babble is devoted to providing this kind of support, I guess this one is as good as any.
- Scott
Posted by DavidSmith on December 26, 2012, at 17:59:41
In reply to Re: Lou's reply-, posted by DavidSmith on December 26, 2012, at 16:51:43
I have really admired your "voice"
over the years. Thank you.
Posted by brynb on December 26, 2012, at 18:35:56
In reply to Brynb - Please be civil., posted by DavidSmith on December 26, 2012, at 16:02:28
> "Seriously, Lou, if you have nothing positive to add, and clearly you don't, then DON'T WRITE ANYTHING."
>
> Lou, your concerns about a life based upon "future treatments" are justified.
>
> At 54, I finally realize that happiness and wholeness comes from serving others.
> If we put that within a Christian framework then it becomes obvious.
>
> Meds can help but they should not become a lifestyle.
> BTW, shouldn't the original post be in Psycho-Babble Psychology?
>
>
Did I miss something here? How, in any way, am I being uncivil in what I wrote? Is it less civil than being called (in other posts) an anti-semite (when I'm Jewish, to boot), or a list of other ridiculous sounding accusations?I'd like to think that I contribute positivity to this forum, and I've had only positive experiences and positive connections here until now.
I'm currently in a very depressed state and feel quite similar to g unit. And I'm feeling very sensitive. Perhaps overly sensitive, but your comment really hurt me.
What's uncivil about telling a poster who continuously hijacks threads to promote his thoughts on psychopharmacology to not do so when he's not adding something positive? Did I use profanity? Was I terribly rude? I don't think so, and I doubt many others here who have taken offense to Lou would agree.
I believe an apology is in order.
-bryn
Posted by SLS on December 26, 2012, at 18:36:36
In reply to BTW- Scott, posted by DavidSmith on December 26, 2012, at 17:59:41
> I have really admired your "voice"
> over the years. Thank you.
I know that I can be a pain in the butt sometimes.
- Scott
Posted by DavidSmith on December 26, 2012, at 18:51:45
In reply to Re: Brynb - Please be civil. » DavidSmith, posted by SLS on December 26, 2012, at 17:58:29
When I started this journey with psychiatry
(twenty years ago!), I often looked for the
new or better medication which would help me.
I should have been looking at how I was living my life instead.I was not exercising regularly. My diet consisted mostly of processed foods.
I had dental amalgams in my mouth which
should have been attended to.I relied on the medications to make me happy.
Even though I found solace and stability in pills,
I still kept myself removed from the world
and perhaps that was my biggest mistake.Now my expectations are more realistic.
After twelve therapists, I found someone I would
listen to (THANKS DALE!).Meds do have their place. But it is not appropriate for us to make
detailed suggestions and combinations to people
we meet online. I will admit though, that some
of PB's posters seem to know more than some Pdocs
I have met!Christ, Buddah, whatever your preference.
It is Christmastime and I thought it relevant.I am impressed with the introspection g_g_g_unit
has made. They have all the tools to make the
right choices for themselves.
Posted by DavidSmith on December 26, 2012, at 19:13:28
In reply to Re: Brynb - Please be civil. » DavidSmith, posted by brynb on December 26, 2012, at 18:35:56
Dear Bryn,
You have my sincere apology.
I know that there are people
on this site who are hurting other posters
(whether intentionally or not).I also recognize that I do not post often
and that your history with Lou is different (perhaps) than mine.What I am concerned about is maintaining
a positive vibe and I thought the words:
"and clearly you don't" were hurtful.I know personally about racism
and many of the other "isms" out there.
It does not feel good.
I have had strangers say to me:
"You're a little different, aren't you?"I thought that the main point of
Dr. Bob's civility rule is to generate positive
feelings within ourselves, thereby
strengthening the GOOD pathways in our brain.
I hope you feel better starting right now.Again, please accept my apologies for being overly critical.
David
Posted by baseball55 on December 26, 2012, at 19:19:16
In reply to feel finished, posted by g_g_g_unit on December 26, 2012, at 7:48:12
I was in the depths of despair a year and a half ago. I could find no reason to go on. I was desperate and suicidal. I had tried all kinds of drugs, ECT, bilateral ECT, the gamut. My p-doc insisted I try DBT which I had tried before in a group and hadn't really benefited from. I found a DBT therapist, the three of us met together and I made a committment to try for three months, to really work at it and promise to keep myself alive. It worked. I've worked hard at it. You have to work hard at these things. It's no joke to be suicidal and consider leaving your family devastated. I also found that lamictal helps reduce suicidal thoughts. It doesn't do much else, but for me that's enough. There is help. You just have to force yourself to find the resources to look for it and to work on it.
Posted by Lou Pilder on December 26, 2012, at 19:21:49
In reply to Re: Brynb - Please be civil. » DavidSmith, posted by brynb on December 26, 2012, at 18:35:56
> > "Seriously, Lou, if you have nothing positive to add, and clearly you don't, then DON'T WRITE ANYTHING."
> >
> > Lou, your concerns about a life based upon "future treatments" are justified.
> >
> > At 54, I finally realize that happiness and wholeness comes from serving others.
> > If we put that within a Christian framework then it becomes obvious.
> >
> > Meds can help but they should not become a lifestyle.
> > BTW, shouldn't the original post be in Psycho-Babble Psychology?
> >
> >
> Did I miss something here? How, in any way, am I being uncivil in what I wrote? Is it less civil than being called (in other posts) an anti-semite (when I'm Jewish, to boot), or a list of other ridiculous sounding accusations?
>
> I'd like to think that I contribute positivity to this forum, and I've had only positive experiences and positive connections here until now.
>
> I'm currently in a very depressed state and feel quite similar to g unit. And I'm feeling very sensitive. Perhaps overly sensitive, but your comment really hurt me.
>
> What's uncivil about telling a poster who continuously hijacks threads to promote his thoughts on psychopharmacology to not do so when he's not adding something positive? Did I use profanity? Was I terribly rude? I don't think so, and I doubt many others here who have taken offense to Lou would agree.
>
> I believe an apology is in order.
>
> -bryn
>
>
> bryn,
You wrote,[...called an xxxx...or a list of other..accusations...].
I need to post a response to you here now. I want you to post here now:
A.post the link that has what you say I called you an xxxx
B. post the links to what you say are other accusations.
If you are not going to afford me the opportunity to defend against such defamation toward me here, then I think that could cause the deaths of others by the nature that the defamation toward me could cause others to see me in a false light and ignore my warnings to them that these drugs could cause one to be compeled to commit suicide or murder and then take them, or drug their child in collaboration with a psychiatrist/doctor and their child goes on to a lifetime of suffering and addiction to these drugs.
Lou
Posted by DavidSmith on December 26, 2012, at 19:28:07
In reply to Lou's response-wazklwabeht » brynb, posted by Lou Pilder on December 26, 2012, at 19:21:49
And now we see how diverse mental illness can be.
Posted by Emme_V2 on December 26, 2012, at 19:34:53
In reply to feel finished, posted by g_g_g_unit on December 26, 2012, at 7:48:12
> I had no idea that things could reach this point. I've found myself in the pits of depression, agony, despair and so on but always felt some sense of hope or reason to continue.
>
> Now that I've exhausted most pharmacological options and turned quite a pivotal age (27), I've found myself stuck in what I can only describe as an "existential depression". Everything feels utterly pointless. I feel lost, like my dreams are gone, there is nothing to direct myself towards anymore, no vision of a future .. nearly all of my 20s have been consumed by this horrible illness.
>
> I don't know what to do anymore. I know there is only so much professionals can do, but the problem is I don't care about myself enough anymore to want to work with them. My OCD has reached such a terrifying apex that I couldn't even begin to describe how much bizarre phobic avoidance etc. I go through. Trying to piece together some semblance of a life at this point seems impossible. I don't want to live a compromised life, always battling this illness. I *know* that I could have been capable of so much more, and that thought -- what could have been -- eats me up.
>
> I guess this is kind of attention-seeking, but I don't know what to do to help myself. I feel like I'm trying to destroy myself .. I binge on junk food, I've stopped exercising and grooming, I sleep as much as I can, I've started abusing certain prescriptions just so I can socialize occasionally (which is something I never would have done in the past). My therapist gave me suggestions, but I don't even bother enlisting them. I feel like I've just been going round in circles in treatment for the past 6 years, and sitting in a park or listening to calming music isn't going to give me a life back.
>
> I added hospital cover to my health insurance, which means I can qualify for private in-patient treatment at the end of February. But I really struggle to see what a hospital can do that my psychiatrist couldn't. I guess there are certain options I could try, like high-dose SSRI or whatever, but I don't want to end up so numbed/sedated etc. that life just becomes a purgatory.
>
> Sorry for the self-pitying nature of this post. I guess what I'm trying to say in a way is that I really applaud you guys, for continuing to move forward in spite of everything. SLS is really one of the most inspiring people I have come across, and I mean that .. your courage and resilience baffles me.Hi there. Quick note. I'm sorry you're suffering so much. The existential depression you're describing is a terrible state to be in. The horrible things going through your head are a product of the depression. That whole no-vision-of-future thing? Yes, it is the pits. I know it may not feel like it, but 27 is awfully young. I promise you it is. It does sound like a hospital stay might be helpful, but that's a long ways off until late February.
Although I know you're feeling overwhelmed, can I ask a few questions? You may have answered these elsewhere. What do you think of your pdoc? Is he or she up on the research, knowledgeable about the older drugs, etc.? Have you been for a consulting opinion with someone else? Sometimes, no matter how good our doctors are, they need some extra input. What have you been on so far? I'd be surprised if you've truly exhausted all drug options - there's lots of ways to combine things.
Do you feel like your therapist is a good fit?
Have you been tested for thyroid function, B12, vitamin D, etc.? If any of those is off, it'll make things worse. Is there a seasonal component to your suffering?
Then there are alternative remedies (SAM-e, etc.).
What I'm saying is, odds are there are still things to try. It's a real endurance test to survive through all of this. However, you are in good company, so keep fighting!
Posted by DavidSmith on December 26, 2012, at 20:05:03
In reply to Re: feel finished, posted by baseball55 on December 26, 2012, at 19:19:16
Thanks for the tip on DBT.
Wikipedia has a great article on it.
Go forward in thread:
Psycho-Babble Medication | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.