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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 18:10:26
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 18:03:47
Sometimes i wonder if a bunch of zyprexa would serve me, but then i think that the idea is to get off drugs. It just seemed that with my cold turkey, i threw some serious ciructry off in my brain, only seeing the past, and future conversations, not being able to see or experience the present moments, things repeating in my head over and over, hear me texting people, hearing what people had already texted me, non stop conversations with my doctors in my head, explaining what i was experiencing, hence ECT seeming to be my best option to "reset" that faulty circuitry that i screwed up. things have improved, but i still think it could get better.
ED, in this economy, how do i raise 3,000 dollars for more ECT?
Brian
Posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 18:20:59
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 18:10:26
hearing what i'm going to say before i say it, and have that repeating in my head. hear me answering questions before people even ask me question, hearing me tell stories over and over of when i was sane. I could go on for HOURS about the experiences.
Only hearing my own voice, the obvious phenomenea of my own voice with commentary, much of the time about suicide and death, and that i'm not supposed to be here. That I am in hell and that i don't know it and i am supposed to leave. that things like my family, friends, beautiful nature, music etc, were all just things and illusions that were trying to keep me alive and trapped in hell. there was a time i thought i was possessed by the devil, and another time i was incarnated as God, as i was trying to figure out who/what this voice was that i could hear.
waking up, and the first thing i would hear would be, it's time to die etc, and i try to counter it, not it's not etcECT helped, but don't know how to get it. Things have improved greatly with all of this. Probably ECT and going back on the benzo. Ultimately, I'd like more ect, and off all drugs i think is my best route.
Regards,
Brian
Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 3, 2010, at 18:40:48
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 18:20:59
Brian,
What is your experience of antipsychotics such as Zyprexa?
In my opinion, you should keep taking Trileptal and Lyrica (up to 600mg/day) until you've tapered off diazepam, which could obviously take a while.
At the moment, you're having so many problems with your meds that it's impossible to know what's causing what. Once you're off diazepam, you could taper off Lyrica and Trileptal too, in order to establish a baseline. You can then decide with your doctors help whether or not you need to go back on medication (although hopefully not benzos, since they seem to be very problematic for you).
Posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 19:00:38
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 3, 2010, at 18:40:48
> Brian,
>
> What is your experience of antipsychotics such as Zyprexa?
>
> In my opinion, you should keep taking Trileptal and Lyrica (up to 600mg/day) until you've tapered off diazepam, which could obviously take a while.
>
> At the moment, you're having so many problems with your meds that it's impossible to know what's causing what. Once you're off diazepam, you could taper off Lyrica and Trileptal too, in order to establish a baseline. You can then decide with your doctors help whether or not you need to go back on medication (although hopefully not benzos, since they seem to be very problematic for you).Ed, today is first day to 3 doses of trileptal, 300 3x. Depression a little more pronounced, but physiical sickness still pretty bad, naseaua/headache. As i spent last night, and the day today with a friend, i felt much better, and thought much less about my mental health as i do when i am home with parents, as i have so many horrible memories at their home from medications etc, and how they are.
In the past, i used to even take up to 30mgs of zyprexa, would pop it like candy, at times didn't mind it, seemed to make me sane, although i was 40lbs overweight. i would even need that much to slow me down to drive enough, although it may even induce depression. I have serious adverse effects to all drugs obviously.
I tried some antipsychotics before ECT, zyprexa, geodon, and even clozaril, all made everything i was experiencing the same, only with a bigger hint of depression to it.
I have not tried zyprexa post ECT.
I still think that the trileptal and lyrica can help me get off the diazepam quicker, even though i have pretty adverse effects to trileptal, and makes me sick, but i seem to tolerate lyrica just fine, one of the few if only drugs i've never had bad reactions to, and don't mind. No ups or downs, some relaxation etc.
Thanks Ed in believing that benzos are the drug of problem, and causing me great illness, which i probably agree.
If I decide to go to the mountains of california to work on on a farm for a while, and taper, and get away from people, i believe that i would have to drop the trileptal, as it makes me too physically ill to do physical work. I would have to ride lyrica and diazepam solo.
a) do you think that trileptal is even a good idea for me now? do you believe i should continue it? i THINK it can help me taper quicker, but there are my obvious adverse effects, and seeming a bad physical reaction to it.
b) today i am at 300mgs of lyrica, how quickly do i increase it to 600mgs? my dr agreed to put me at 600, but obviously offered me no direction.
kind regards,
Brian
Posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 19:05:13
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 19:00:38
Last winter, i was even taking maybe up to 2400mgs trileptl, the max, along with zyprexa, to slow me down to do a monkeys job. But those drugs, make me see things oddly and weirdly, in a depressive existential way, that is tough to explain.
But hey, i was taking 3mg ativan at night for sleep, maybe the racing thoughts was just from interdose wd. As when i was coming off of them, and down to 600mgs trileptal, and 30mgs valium, i got the racing thoughts/depression/irritability only after my hypomanic morning of 300mgs trileptal.
Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 3, 2010, at 19:12:20
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 19:05:13
Do you believe that Trileptal is causing nausea and headaches? Did you get these symptoms before when you were on the high dose?
Posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 19:18:25
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 3, 2010, at 19:12:20
> Do you believe that Trileptal is causing nausea and headaches? Did you get these symptoms before when you were on the high dose?
>
>If I had to guess, I do think it's trileptal that is making me physically ill. I could be wrong, it could be the benzo.
Last year, I do not remember the bad physical illness from trileptal at high doses.
In low doses, when added to my taper in china 3-4 years ago, i do remember bad headaches and naseaua.
Brian
Posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 19:40:19
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 19:18:25
PS- Pre ECT, and pre going back on benzo and trileptal, i was on max dose of neurontin, and it did absolutely nothing for the psychosis. Granted, in the past, I found a HUGE difference between lyrica and neurontin.
I wonder if trileptal needs to be dropped if it's making me couch bound ill in the afternoon, or if i hang on to it, because it may help the taper, and helping some other things.
Choices
Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 3, 2010, at 19:45:22
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 19:40:19
> PS- Pre ECT, and pre going back on benzo and trileptal, i was on max dose of neurontin, and it did absolutely nothing for the psychosis. Granted, in the past, I found a HUGE difference between lyrica and neurontin.
>
> I wonder if trileptal needs to be dropped if it's making me couch bound ill in the afternoon, or if i hang on to it, because it may help the taper, and helping some other things.
>
> ChoicesDifficult choices. You could try reducing the dose to 150mg instead of 300mg to see whether it affects the nausea. You really need to sort the dose of Trileptal out before you start tapering diazepam.
Posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 19:55:26
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 3, 2010, at 19:45:22
> > PS- Pre ECT, and pre going back on benzo and trileptal, i was on max dose of neurontin, and it did absolutely nothing for the psychosis. Granted, in the past, I found a HUGE difference between lyrica and neurontin.
> >
> > I wonder if trileptal needs to be dropped if it's making me couch bound ill in the afternoon, or if i hang on to it, because it may help the taper, and helping some other things.
> >
> > Choices
>
> Difficult choices. You could try reducing the dose to 150mg instead of 300mg to see whether it affects the nausea. You really need to sort the dose of Trileptal out before you start tapering diazepam.Perhaps try 150mgs 3x a day with trileptal, and see how that goes?
I remember my doses in china while helping tapering was 150mgs, either 2 or 3 times a day. Of course the shrink there said there's no way it could be helping me, says you're ocd, take ssris, although trileptal got me out of the house and tapered much quicker. I still headaches and naseaua at my 150mg doses, but trust me, worth helping tapering, and depression.Ed, i just got up to 300mgs of lyrica, how quickly can i get to 600mgs? I tolerate it fine, no adverse effects, and going up fast doesn't seem to bother me. Although it helps anxiety, sleep, positive/happy mood, and was helping interdose wd (which doesn't seem like a prob now with diaz), I don't know if it has the affinity or possibility to help get off valium like trileptal does.
Brian
Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 3, 2010, at 20:03:54
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 19:55:26
> > > PS- Pre ECT, and pre going back on benzo and trileptal, i was on max dose of neurontin, and it did absolutely nothing for the psychosis. Granted, in the past, I found a HUGE difference between lyrica and neurontin.
> > >
> > > I wonder if trileptal needs to be dropped if it's making me couch bound ill in the afternoon, or if i hang on to it, because it may help the taper, and helping some other things.
> > >
> > > Choices
> >
> > Difficult choices. You could try reducing the dose to 150mg instead of 300mg to see whether it affects the nausea. You really need to sort the dose of Trileptal out before you start tapering diazepam.
>
> Perhaps try 150mgs 3x a day with trileptal, and see how that goes?
> I remember my doses in china while helping tapering was 150mgs, either 2 or 3 times a day. Of course the shrink there said there's no way it could be helping me, says you're ocd, take ssris, although trileptal got me out of the house and tapered much quicker. I still headaches and naseaua at my 150mg doses, but trust me, worth helping tapering, and depression.
>
> Ed, i just got up to 300mgs of lyrica, how quickly can i get to 600mgs? I tolerate it fine, no adverse effects, and going up fast doesn't seem to bother me. Although it helps anxiety, sleep, positive/happy mood, and was helping interdose wd (which doesn't seem like a prob now with diaz), I don't know if it has the affinity or possibility to help get off valium like trileptal does.
>
>
> Brian
>
>If you think you need to increase Lyrica, you could go up to 150mg three times a day next and go from there. Do you think 300mg/day is too low?
I think you should try 150mg twice or three times a day for the Trileptal. That makes sense.
Try to get out of the house where possible. It will help you.
Posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 20:11:52
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 3, 2010, at 20:03:54
> > > > PS- Pre ECT, and pre going back on benzo and trileptal, i was on max dose of neurontin, and it did absolutely nothing for the psychosis. Granted, in the past, I found a HUGE difference between lyrica and neurontin.
> > > >
> > > > I wonder if trileptal needs to be dropped if it's making me couch bound ill in the afternoon, or if i hang on to it, because it may help the taper, and helping some other things.
> > > >
> > > > Choices
> > >
> > > Difficult choices. You could try reducing the dose to 150mg instead of 300mg to see whether it affects the nausea. You really need to sort the dose of Trileptal out before you start tapering diazepam.
> >
> > Perhaps try 150mgs 3x a day with trileptal, and see how that goes?
> > I remember my doses in china while helping tapering was 150mgs, either 2 or 3 times a day. Of course the shrink there said there's no way it could be helping me, says you're ocd, take ssris, although trileptal got me out of the house and tapered much quicker. I still headaches and naseaua at my 150mg doses, but trust me, worth helping tapering, and depression.
> >
> > Ed, i just got up to 300mgs of lyrica, how quickly can i get to 600mgs? I tolerate it fine, no adverse effects, and going up fast doesn't seem to bother me. Although it helps anxiety, sleep, positive/happy mood, and was helping interdose wd (which doesn't seem like a prob now with diaz), I don't know if it has the affinity or possibility to help get off valium like trileptal does.
> >
> >
> > Brian
> >
> >
>
> If you think you need to increase Lyrica, you could go up to 150mg three times a day next and go from there. Do you think 300mg/day is too low?
>
> I think you should try 150mg twice or three times a day for the Trileptal. That makes sense.
>
> Try to get out of the house where possible. It will help you.The higher the better it seemed to be on lyrica. My doc even had me at 900mgs before. I was able to drive from phoenix to san antonio, and travel all over the northwest US, when otherwise, i would have had serious issues. At the time, i would have still needed a stimulant to concentrate, but that's not an option right now.
I only have 100mg pills lyrica, and some 75mg samples, so it'd be tough to do 150 3 times a day.
I could go 175mgs 3 times a day for a few days, then 200mgs 3x a day?I could give the 150mgs trileptal 3x a day a go, see how it compares.
How far down the road do you think i should start my diaz taper?
Brian
Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 3, 2010, at 20:23:14
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 20:11:52
>I only have 100mg pills lyrica, and some 75mg samples, so it'd be tough to do 150 3 times a day.
> I could go 175mgs 3 times a day for a few days, then 200mgs 3x a day?
> I could give the 150mgs trileptal 3x a day a go, see how it compares.That sounds like a good plan.
>How far down the road do you think i should start my diaz taper?Wait until you're settled on 600mg of Lyrica and whatever dose of Trileptal works out best. Once you feel calmer, you should be ready to start tapering diazepam. You will probably be able to taper quite quickly at first and then more slowly as the dose gets lower.
Posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 20:23:39
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 20:11:52
Mid day trileptal dose headache/naseaua couch bound illness is gone. Seems to last about 3 hours.
Even when off these drugs, still feels like i need, or would like some more ECT, to reset more of what i messed up, and help alliviate more of the psychotic phenomenea, which it has seemed to help.
Honestly, who wants or actively seeks out more ECT LMAO. Maybe those who it's helped.
Posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 20:25:52
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 3, 2010, at 20:23:14
> >I only have 100mg pills lyrica, and some 75mg samples, so it'd be tough to do 150 3 times a day.
> > I could go 175mgs 3 times a day for a few days, then 200mgs 3x a day?
> > I could give the 150mgs trileptal 3x a day a go, see how it compares.
>
> That sounds like a good plan.
>
> >How far down the road do you think i should start my diaz taper?
>
> Wait until you're settled on 600mg of Lyrica and whatever dose of Trileptal works out best. Once you feel calmer, you should be ready to start tapering diazepam. You will probably be able to taper quite quickly at first and then more slowly as the dose gets lower.
>
>
>Ed, has anyone told you how much you rock?
Brian
Posted by Phillipa on April 3, 2010, at 21:12:22
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 20:25:52
Ed is a great person just babblemailed you. Love Phillipa
Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 3, 2010, at 21:26:00
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 20:25:52
>Ed, has anyone told you how much you rock?
Not often, I'm a mixed bag. Not sure if that makes sense.
Posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 21:27:56
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me? » qbsbrown, posted by Phillipa on April 3, 2010, at 21:12:22
> Ed is a great person just babblemailed you. Love Phillipa
How do you check babblemail?
Brian
Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 3, 2010, at 21:29:41
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 20:23:39
>Even when off these drugs, still feels like i need, or would like some more ECT, to reset more of what i messed up, and help alliviate more of the psychotic phenomenea, which it has seemed to help.
It's not often that people are so keen to have ECT :) Who knows how you'll be feeling in a couple of months time. I hope you'll be much better and not in need of ECT.
Perhaps it would help to take Trileptal with food? It might relieve your upset stomach.
Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 3, 2010, at 21:36:32
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 21:27:56
> > Ed is a great person just babblemailed you. Love Phillipa
>
> How do you check babblemail?
>
> Brian
>
>Check your email address that you registered at p-babble with. Your babblemail goes there. I just sent you one to test it.
You see where my posting name is highlighted in blue at the top of all my posts? If you click there you can send a babblemail.
Some people have their babblemail turned off, in which case their name will not be highlighted in blue.
Can't believe you've not used babblemail before! :)
Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 3, 2010, at 21:37:06
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 20:25:52
> > >I only have 100mg pills lyrica, and some 75mg samples, so it'd be tough to do 150 3 times a day.
> > > I could go 175mgs 3 times a day for a few days, then 200mgs 3x a day?
> > > I could give the 150mgs trileptal 3x a day a go, see how it compares.
> >
> > That sounds like a good plan.
> >
> > >How far down the road do you think i should start my diaz taper?
> >
> > Wait until you're settled on 600mg of Lyrica and whatever dose of Trileptal works out best. Once you feel calmer, you should be ready to start tapering diazepam. You will probably be able to taper quite quickly at first and then more slowly as the dose gets lower.
> >
> >
> >
>
> Ed, has anyone told you how much you rock?
>
> BrianThanks btw :)
Posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 21:39:37
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 3, 2010, at 21:29:41
> >Even when off these drugs, still feels like i need, or would like some more ECT, to reset more of what i messed up, and help alliviate more of the psychotic phenomenea, which it has seemed to help.
>
> It's not often that people are so keen to have ECT :) Who knows how you'll be feeling in a couple of months time. I hope you'll be much better and not in need of ECT.
>
> Perhaps it would help to take Trileptal with food? It might relieve your upset stomach.
>I'll try the food thing.
I know this. I can't get ect while on lyrica and/or trileptal, i would have to taper off them, and i wasn't allowed to take a benzo 15 hours before a ect session.
SO it looks like i'm gonna be doing this taper w/o ect in the near future, plus i don't have the money for it. That said, i think my parents home is a very unhealthy and stressful place for me to do my taper, especially with my memories of my taper here last year.
It seems to me, that the mountains in california, away from people, and in nature, and doing something positive, and physical work on a farm, and not having a computer etc, might be the best thing for me.
If after my taper is over, and i don't feel well, i could come back to civilization, make some money, and have some more ect sessions if I feel necissary.
My only other options are to live at my parents, and to get a job, which i don't know if i could hold one right now. I think about a busser position at a restaurant. Or trying to get a job in my hometown of seattle, where i have connections, but i don't know if I could hold a job in my situation, the added stress and pressure. Also holds true for me trying to move to san diego and get a job there.
The middle of the mountains sound pretty nice and unstressful of a place to do this???????????
Posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 21:41:19
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 3, 2010, at 21:37:06
> > > >I only have 100mg pills lyrica, and some 75mg samples, so it'd be tough to do 150 3 times a day.
> > > > I could go 175mgs 3 times a day for a few days, then 200mgs 3x a day?
> > > > I could give the 150mgs trileptal 3x a day a go, see how it compares.
> > >
> > > That sounds like a good plan.
> > >
> > > >How far down the road do you think i should start my diaz taper?
> > >
> > > Wait until you're settled on 600mg of Lyrica and whatever dose of Trileptal works out best. Once you feel calmer, you should be ready to start tapering diazepam. You will probably be able to taper quite quickly at first and then more slowly as the dose gets lower.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> >
> > Ed, has anyone told you how much you rock?
> >
> > Brian
>
> Thanks btw :)No,,,....thank you!!!!
Posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 21:48:10
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 3, 2010, at 21:36:32
It says my babblemail is turned on, but i have not received anything at any of my email addresses.
Brian
Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 4, 2010, at 6:29:22
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 21:48:10
> It says my babblemail is turned on, but i have not received anything at any of my email addresses.
>
> BrianStrange. I don't think my babblemail is working either. I haven't had any babblemails for a couple of weeks but someone said that they sent me one.
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