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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by qbsbrown on April 1, 2010, at 17:38:53
In reply to thanks Ed, posted by qbsbrown on April 1, 2010, at 17:25:29
And when I did add the trileptal that helped me taper and with depression while in china, i believe it was a very low dose, maybe 150mgs 2 or 3 times a day, perhaps the reason the psych did not believe that it could be helping me at all.
I could try 150mgs 3x a day now, or just drop it all together.
Votes?
Brian
Posted by qbsbrown on April 1, 2010, at 19:11:55
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 1, 2010, at 17:01:03
> >he said no, no, no. he just put me back on xanax.
>
> What is the lowest dose of Xanax that you can take without suffering any major withdrawal symptoms?Ed, even a couple hours after my 2nd 2mg xanax dose, I am feeling the physical wd.
The worst part is thinking of all of the years or times when i wasn't taking benzos, or they weren't even part of my thinking, instead of ruining my life.
I wonder if 60mgs of valium will hold anything.
Brian
Posted by Phillipa on April 1, 2010, at 20:00:20
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 1, 2010, at 19:11:55
Brian after reading all this thread I feel you should listen to the doc. What did the zyprexa do as you do sound a bit manic to me? Phillipa
Posted by qbsbrown on April 1, 2010, at 20:15:48
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me? » qbsbrown, posted by Phillipa on April 1, 2010, at 20:00:20
> Brian after reading all this thread I feel you should listen to the doc. What did the zyprexa do as you do sound a bit manic to me? Phillipa
We did not try much zyprexa, but I think that zyprexa just maintained the same phenomenea but added a little depressive tint to it before the ECT.
We even tried clozapine/clozaril for a few days, can't remember if that was before or after the ECT.
Brian
Posted by qbsbrown on April 1, 2010, at 20:44:27
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me? » qbsbrown, posted by Phillipa on April 1, 2010, at 20:00:20
> Brian after reading all this thread I feel you should listen to the doc. What did the zyprexa do as you do sound a bit manic to me? Phillipa
Doesn't appear that we have tried an antipsychotic since the ECT.
He said he wants to do this methodically, cause he knows i like to change, up, lower, all the time.
So he said lyrica for a week, and we'll go from there.
I'm sure he might be open to the idea of an AP right now though.
But before ECT, geodon, zyprexa, clozaril was doing nothing for the benzo wd psychosis
Brian
Posted by Phillipa on April 1, 2010, at 20:47:13
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 1, 2010, at 20:44:27
Brian I don't know what to suggest? Phillipa
Posted by qbsbrown on April 1, 2010, at 21:03:06
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me? » qbsbrown, posted by Phillipa on April 1, 2010, at 20:47:13
> Brian I don't know what to suggest? Phillipa
I know, a tough situation hon:(
Let's see how the reaction to valium goes, let's hope that i get better with the increases in my lyrica, and I will ask/suggest to the dr maybe trying an AP.
That said, I am somewhat set on leaving for the mountains of california to work on an organic farm, away from civilization, computers, phones, doctors, and electricity, and do a withdrawal there, while being in nature with animals in the spiritual realm:)
I have also reached out to an integrative psychiatrist who actually teaches at the Zen center I attend. I hope he has something to offer. He is also on the board of neurology which is a big plus for me.
Love,
Brian
Posted by qbsbrown on April 1, 2010, at 21:54:30
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 1, 2010, at 17:01:03
But for a doc to tell you to give up a drug, because he said no no no before you started it, even though it's giving me some functionability, which is much more than none, just because he said so, that's a tough one. Yes, perhaps it does cause instability.
So now i just drop trileptal, even though i function greatly for 5 hours in the morning lol
brian
Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 2, 2010, at 13:57:42
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 1, 2010, at 21:54:30
Hi Brian,
It seems to me that anything which helps you to stop taking benzos is going to be useful for you in the long term. You seem to suffer from a lot of side effects with them. In the long term, I think you would probably be better off without any benzos but you can't stop too quickly or else you will feel worse.
Why would Trileptal make you feel good in the morning and depressed in the afternoon? I don't really understand that.
I would start Valium at 10mg three times a day and then go from there. You will obviously need to adjust.
Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 2, 2010, at 14:02:52
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 1, 2010, at 21:54:30
Brian,
Are you on any medication for MS at the moment?
Posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 15:56:55
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 2, 2010, at 14:02:52
> Brian,
>
> Are you on any medication for MS at the moment?
>
>
Yes Ed, I take MS injections daily, oopaxone.Brian
Posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 16:23:58
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me? » qbsbrown, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 2, 2010, at 13:57:42
> Hi Brian,
>
> It seems to me that anything which helps you to stop taking benzos is going to be useful for you in the long term. You seem to suffer from a lot of side effects with them. In the long term, I think you would probably be better off without any benzos but you can't stop too quickly or else you will feel worse.
>
> Why would Trileptal make you feel good in the morning and depressed in the afternoon? I don't really understand that.
>
> I would start Valium at 10mg three times a day and then go from there. You will obviously need to adjust.Yes, getting off of the benzos was the goal over the past year, and now i am at double the starting dose of where i was a year ago, psychotic and crazy from it, even slow taper, the cold turkey, and the horror and terror of what i've experienced the past year that i see in intrusive images and thoughts all day is tormenting.
I just had to turn in my xanax to my dr, we discussed taking xanax xr, but ultimately went back to valium. He suggests 20mgs 3x a day. You think this is too high Ed? Being at double the starting dose from a year ago is very depressing. But i've been on 6mgs xanax for 2 weeks, wouldn't going to 30mgs valium cut in half my benzo intake?
Why trileptal makes me hypomanic in the morn, and the sort of depressed in the afternoon, and semi normal at night is beyond me. Perhaps 3 doses a day are better.
I DO know that trileptal has helped me wean off valium much quicker 2 times before, although trying to add it during my taper last year was terrible, as were adding all of the other anticonvulsants.
There are some studies. Some recent evidence in the literature suggests that the anti-convulsants Carbamazepine and its derivative oxcarbazepine show some potential in reducing benzo withdrawal severity. I'll refer you to the following studies:
Study (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entrez?Db=pubmed&Cmd=ShowDetailView&TermToSearch=16189750&ordinalpos=5&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsP anel.Pubmed_RVDocSum)
Study (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entrez?Db=pubmed&Cmd=ShowDetailView&TermToSearch=15510234&ordinalpos=6&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsP anel.Pubmed_RVDocSum)
Study (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entrez?Db=pubmed&Cmd=ShowDetailView&TermToSearch=2021297&ordinalpos=12&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsP anel.Pubmed_RVDocSum)This also said, when i was i the serious throws of my benzo wd last summer, and i tried to add an anticonvulsant so i could leave the house, they almost gave me nervous breakdowns literally. Just some sights and sounds, just hearing specific words from adding these anti convulsants was horrifying. These were drugs that i used to swallow like candy, such as depakote etc. I would even try to add back trileptal in the throws of my wd, and i'd be hypomanic in the morn, looking at teaching jobs overseas, and then depressed in bed, and ultimately making my wd symptoms worse.
Lyrica does seem to help with some anxiety, and I don't mind increasing it, and would imagine that it will help both my mood and perhaps help with WD.
Although even with a high dose of lyrica, which allowed me to do many things i couldn't, i still needed a stimulant for any concentration.
Even with all of the other drugs, i had severe concentration problems, and always seemed to need a stimulant, or once thought provigil was god send.
That said, i think with benzo wd, stimulants are going to have to wait for now.
I can't imagine what my cns has been through for the past years with benzos and stimulants, and i can probably even trace back MS symptoms maybe 3-4 years back, which i thought at the time were benzo wd related.
I still wonder that if taking my valium and lyrica with me to the mountains of california, to work on an organic farm, in a place i have no history, and people i do not know. I could not imagine not having computer use, as i've been obsessional with it for many years lol.
Because here, i hear me telling stories to people all day long, of my past, mental health history, about the withdrawal etc.
What i say to people, will repeat in my head over and over, what others say, will usually repeat. Before ECT, i would just look at my phone, i would hear what i had just texted the past person, or i would just touch my phone, and i would hear what i was going to text someone. Some of this psychotic phenomenea has calmed since ect, and perhaps the readdition of benzos.This is why i wonder that getting away from people, phones, computers, places with history, might be the most therapeautic thing for me.
Brian
Posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 16:33:34
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 16:23:58
I was trying to come off the drugs to be healthy and happy again lol. Not to become crazy and schizophrenic.
Before ECT, i literally could not even see the present moment. I could only see images from the past, and almost hearing future conversations at the same time. I could only see the past and hear/see the future. i would try to force myself to look at the tv, and try to watch it. Couldn't. Even going for drives in cars, i could still only see the past, and future conversations. I would try to focus on anything in the present, i could only hear myself reading license plates numbers, or hear me reading billboards. I could only hear my own voice. I could not think. The psychotic phonmenea would take hours to explain, not to mention my own voice talking about death and suicidie all day long, from the second i woke up, i would hear things about harming myself. Debates, arguments, intrusive images, thoughts, conversations, hearing my own voice, i could not even do simple things the intrusive everything was so bad, i couldn't do anything. I could only hear me talking to my doctors all day/night, explaining what i experience etc, it never ended.
Much has improved. Now, how to get back to completely normal, if that's at all posssible, i don't know.
What meds to take during this, i don't know.
I do know it's valium and lyrica for now. Trileptal seems to be my choice, and i'm not sure about it.
Brian
Posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 16:45:09
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 16:33:34
I just sure wish i could get some more ECT, that has seemed to help reset or readjust my brain, but can't afford it damnit!!!
Brian
Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 2, 2010, at 16:55:24
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 16:33:34
Hi Brian,
Do you get any support at home or do you live alone? It's difficult to even imagine what you must be going through at the moment.
Your meds have been changed so many times it's virtually impossible to know what the meds are actually doing. You seem to be suffering from a mixture of withdrawal symptoms between doses and side effects at the same time.... and then there's the further complication of the MS.
Diazepam has interesting pharmaco-kinetics. It is a drug which accumulates on repeated dosing due to the long duration of action of its major active metabolite.
After a single isolated dose of diazepam, its duration of action is normally quite short. After repeated doses, the effects last for many hours. 20mg three times a day should be OK initially but you should be able to reduce after a few days down to a much lower dose once it starts to accumulate. The lower the dose gets, the slower you will need to reduce. Hopefully, you will be able to get down to 30mg/day quite quickly. For example, you could take 20mg three times a day for three days then 15mg three times a day for five days then 10mg three times a day. From this point, you will need to reduce more slowly.
What do you think?
Ed
PS. It's difficult to be positive about mental healthcare in the UK but at least you wouldn't have to pay anything for the ECT. Most treatment is free here, except for small prescription charges (but many people have an exemption from charges).
> I was trying to come off the drugs to be healthy and happy again lol. Not to become crazy and schizophrenic.
>
> Before ECT, i literally could not even see the present moment. I could only see images from the past, and almost hearing future conversations at the same time. I could only see the past and hear/see the future. i would try to force myself to look at the tv, and try to watch it. Couldn't. Even going for drives in cars, i could still only see the past, and future conversations. I would try to focus on anything in the present, i could only hear myself reading license plates numbers, or hear me reading billboards. I could only hear my own voice. I could not think. The psychotic phonmenea would take hours to explain, not to mention my own voice talking about death and suicidie all day long, from the second i woke up, i would hear things about harming myself. Debates, arguments, intrusive images, thoughts, conversations, hearing my own voice, i could not even do simple things the intrusive everything was so bad, i couldn't do anything. I could only hear me talking to my doctors all day/night, explaining what i experience etc, it never ended.
>
> Much has improved. Now, how to get back to completely normal, if that's at all posssible, i don't know.
>
> What meds to take during this, i don't know.
>
> I do know it's valium and lyrica for now. Trileptal seems to be my choice, and i'm not sure about it.
>
> Brian
Posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 17:21:08
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me? » qbsbrown, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 2, 2010, at 16:55:24
> Hi Brian,
>
> Do you get any support at home or do you live alone? It's difficult to even imagine what you must be going through at the moment.
>
> Your meds have been changed so many times it's virtually impossible to know what the meds are actually doing. You seem to be suffering from a mixture of withdrawal symptoms between doses and side effects at the same time.... and then there's the further complication of the MS.
>
> Diazepam has interesting pharmaco-kinetics. It is a drug which accumulates on repeated dosing due to the long duration of action of its major active metabolite.
>
> After a single isolated dose of diazepam, its duration of action is normally quite short. After repeated doses, the effects last for many hours. 20mg three times a day should be OK initially but you should be able to reduce after a few days down to a much lower dose once it starts to accumulate. The lower the dose gets, the slower you will need to reduce. Hopefully, you will be able to get down to 30mg/day quite quickly. For example, you could take 20mg three times a day for three days then 15mg three times a day for five days then 10mg three times a day. From this point, you will need to reduce more slowly.
>
> What do you think?
>
> Ed
>
> PS. It's difficult to be positive about mental healthcare in the UK but at least you wouldn't have to pay anything for the ECT. Most treatment is free here, except for small prescription charges (but many people have an exemption from charges).
>
>
>
> > I was trying to come off the drugs to be healthy and happy again lol. Not to become crazy and schizophrenic.
> >
> > Before ECT, i literally could not even see the present moment. I could only see images from the past, and almost hearing future conversations at the same time. I could only see the past and hear/see the future. i would try to force myself to look at the tv, and try to watch it. Couldn't. Even going for drives in cars, i could still only see the past, and future conversations. I would try to focus on anything in the present, i could only hear myself reading license plates numbers, or hear me reading billboards. I could only hear my own voice. I could not think. The psychotic phonmenea would take hours to explain, not to mention my own voice talking about death and suicidie all day long, from the second i woke up, i would hear things about harming myself. Debates, arguments, intrusive images, thoughts, conversations, hearing my own voice, i could not even do simple things the intrusive everything was so bad, i couldn't do anything. I could only hear me talking to my doctors all day/night, explaining what i experience etc, it never ended.
> >
> > Much has improved. Now, how to get back to completely normal, if that's at all posssible, i don't know.
> >
> > What meds to take during this, i don't know.
> >
> > I do know it's valium and lyrica for now. Trileptal seems to be my choice, and i'm not sure about it.
> >
> > Brian
>
>I live with my parents at the moment. But with what i've been going through, and the things i've tried to explain, i have alienated all in my life, rightfully so. At first i was banned from even speaking about what's going on. Nobody wants to hear it. Unfortunately, nobody can even help.
Sounds good. We'll see how the reaction to diazepam goes this time round. I'll give the 20mgs 3x a day a go, and see how it goes. I can already feel wd from my 2mg xanax dose 5 hours ago. And to think of what i already went through physically, and withdrawal wise, from cold turkey, is just crazy.
I'd give anything to find a way to get about 3 thousand more dollars for 6 more ect treatments. Unfortunately, i can't find any family that can help, i haven't been able to work etc.
Damn, if i was only in the UK:)
Regards,
Brian
Posted by morganator on April 2, 2010, at 17:35:54
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 17:21:08
You were banned from talking about what's going on with you?!! Dude, that is NOT cool at all. You need support more than ever right now. I hate when people don't want to hear about negative things. I mean, when they are doing pretty good, they should have even more patience and tolerance for dealing with someone's issues. I f*ck*ng hate this world.
Man I can relate somewhat to what you are going through. I really hope you at least find a medication that will help you feel better. I'm not sure if benzos are a good long term solution. I'd be concerned about what they are doing to my brain. Then again, I guess we should be concerned about what any medication is doing to our brains in these archaic times in psychiatry.
Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 2, 2010, at 17:38:12
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 17:21:08
Hi Brian,
Yeah, I guess there are some advantages to living here :)
I imagine that your family wants to help you but they don't know how. Very difficult situation.
When do you take the first dose of diazepam? You might feel it 'kicking in' and 'wearing off' at first, but this probably won't last as the metabolite (desmethyldiazepam) starts to build up. Try to reduce to <30mg per day over the next couple of weeks. Too much diazepam might make you feel more depressed and irritable. Although you'll need to take the diazepam several times per day initially, you might be able to transfer onto a single dose at night after a while.
I hope Lyrica helps your withdrawal... although some people find Lyrica difficult to stop, which would be a problem if you do need to stop taking it. I'm sure it can't be as bad as stopping benzos though.
ed
> I live with my parents at the moment. But with what i've been going through, and the things i've tried to explain, i have alienated all in my life, rightfully so. At first i was banned from even speaking about what's going on. Nobody wants to hear it. Unfortunately, nobody can even help.
>
> Sounds good. We'll see how the reaction to diazepam goes this time round. I'll give the 20mgs 3x a day a go, and see how it goes. I can already feel wd from my 2mg xanax dose 5 hours ago. And to think of what i already went through physically, and withdrawal wise, from cold turkey, is just crazy.
>
> I'd give anything to find a way to get about 3 thousand more dollars for 6 more ect treatments. Unfortunately, i can't find any family that can help, i haven't been able to work etc.
>
> Damn, if i was only in the UK:)
>
> Regards,
>
> Brian
Posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 18:02:09
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me? » qbsbrown, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 2, 2010, at 17:38:12
> Hi Brian,
>
> Yeah, I guess there are some advantages to living here :)
>
> I imagine that your family wants to help you but they don't know how. Very difficult situation.
>
> When do you take the first dose of diazepam? You might feel it 'kicking in' and 'wearing off' at first, but this probably won't last as the metabolite (desmethyldiazepam) starts to build up. Try to reduce to <30mg per day over the next couple of weeks. Too much diazepam might make you feel more depressed and irritable. Although you'll need to take the diazepam several times per day initially, you might be able to transfer onto a single dose at night after a while.
>
> I hope Lyrica helps your withdrawal... although some people find Lyrica difficult to stop, which would be a problem if you do need to stop taking it. I'm sure it can't be as bad as stopping benzos though.
>
> ed
>
>
> > I live with my parents at the moment. But with what i've been going through, and the things i've tried to explain, i have alienated all in my life, rightfully so. At first i was banned from even speaking about what's going on. Nobody wants to hear it. Unfortunately, nobody can even help.
> >
> > Sounds good. We'll see how the reaction to diazepam goes this time round. I'll give the 20mgs 3x a day a go, and see how it goes. I can already feel wd from my 2mg xanax dose 5 hours ago. And to think of what i already went through physically, and withdrawal wise, from cold turkey, is just crazy.
> >
> > I'd give anything to find a way to get about 3 thousand more dollars for 6 more ect treatments. Unfortunately, i can't find any family that can help, i haven't been able to work etc.
> >
> > Damn, if i was only in the UK:)
> >
> > Regards,
> >
> > Brian
>
>Just took my first 20mg valium dose. Took it with a 100mg lyrica. Wonder about the trileptal if it's helped wd in the past, has some advantages, but many disadvantages etc.
If i head to the isolated moutains of california soon, i'll just go lyrica and valium, as on trileptal, i wouldn't wanna do physical manual farm labor, especially if i hit a depressive phase:)But if i stay here, it may assist in wd greatly, although have some bad emotional effects.
Quitting 900mgs lyrica was no walk in the park, 2nd worst drug to quit other than benzos, especially considering that i tried it cold turkey, and then a rapid taper. It sucked, flu like symptoms, depression etc, but NOTHING like a benzo wd. I'll be more smart about that one:)
Posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 18:12:13
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by morganator on April 2, 2010, at 17:35:54
> You were banned from talking about what's going on with you?!! Dude, that is NOT cool at all. You need support more than ever right now. I hate when people don't want to hear about negative things. I mean, when they are doing pretty good, they should have even more patience and tolerance for dealing with someone's issues. I f*ck*ng hate this world.
>
> Man I can relate somewhat to what you are going through. I really hope you at least find a medication that will help you feel better. I'm not sure if benzos are a good long term solution. I'd be concerned about what they are doing to my brain. Then again, I guess we should be concerned about what any medication is doing to our brains in these archaic times in psychiatry.Yes, I was banned, and have been banned again. Have been threatened, if i speak of suicide, or my voice that talks/instructs etc about suicide, if i mention that, i will be kicked out, taken to a homeless shelter etc. Other family members never want to hear the words psychosis or schizophrenic symptoms from me, or do not want to receive any emails in which they see as obsession.
I'm supposed to pick myself up by my boot straps and go get a job.
I am or have never been a violent or suicidal person in my life, but when you listen to your voice telling you too, that you're not supposed to be here etc, it's hard not to listen, and i had developed elaborate plans and asked all of my family to let me go. For my mother to see what i was going through, she almost reluctantly agreed to let me go, as the pain i was dealing with 24/7 was too overwhelming.
I had on a whim climed the mountains of utah, with no plans of coming down. I could only see the past, and i'd say/yell, "don't show me that", or i'd hear conversations with Drs or family members, and i'd say/yell, "don't talk to them", or i'd see the future etc. I did anything a madman would. danced like a native american, sat under a tree, similar to a bodhi tree as did buddha where he gained enlightenment. My brain was so messed up from the cold turkey, if i closed my eyes, i couldn't see anything, i could only see the past, and i could only hear my own voice.Unfortunately there were no meds that helped. The antipsychotics, even clozaril etc. Only after ECT, and back on benzos, maybe trileptal, i don't know, some is better. I would LOVE some more ECT, but I can't get the money to do so. Hence me thinking going up to the mountains, away from people, may calm many converssations and intrusive memories.
Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 2, 2010, at 18:22:06
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 18:02:09
Do you have any friends who understand what you're going through? I think that would help.
Would you go to the mountains alone?
Posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 18:41:06
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 2, 2010, at 18:22:06
> Do you have any friends who understand what you're going through? I think that would help.
>
> Would you go to the mountains alone?I have explained a little bit to a few friends, there is only so much they can take. Even with my avid and obsessional research abilities, i have not found a similar case.
No, there is an organic farm in the sierra mountains. I feel being somewhere with no history, not knowing anyone, getting away from civilization, computers, phones, etc, would sever me much good.
It seems like a great place.
Being at my parents home is a very unhealthy place to be. Both have severe emotional issues, maybe bipolar, depression, maybe borderline personality. It is very uncomfortable being here, walking on egg shells, much fear and anxiety, much other things going on.
Why when someone needs it the most, a person can not find or gather or raise 3,0000 dollars for ECT which seemingly is helping much?
I was a normal person. A college graduate, and a corporate worker, and a school teacher for years. Until my infamous day of heading to korea last year, then realizing that trileptal was in fact making me bipolar, and also makes me see ugly exestentialist things in the the environment, to where i am now.
If anyone has ANY ideas of how to raise or make money for ECT, I would greatly welcome it)
Love,
Brian
Posted by morganator on April 2, 2010, at 18:45:09
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 18:12:13
So let me get this right, you have a schizo-affective disorder and MS? Have you been formerly diagnosed as schizophrenic or schizo-affective?
Posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 19:02:38
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by morganator on April 2, 2010, at 18:45:09
> So let me get this right, you have a schizo-affective disorder and MS? Have you been formerly diagnosed as schizophrenic or schizo-affective?
No, the psychosis/schizo symptoms initially came from benzo cold turkey initially seemingly. I have read of other benzo cold turkey people, and being treated as schizo and had much ECT, insane assylums etc.
BUT, after my cold turkey back in early sept, i then get diagnosed with MS arouns xmas time.
My shrink, who i've seen for years, had three guesses. that it was benzo wd, psychosis secodndary to MS, or schizo. He seemed to settle that it was psychosis secondary to MS. The neurologist was/is doubtful. I have read of 5-10 percent of MS patients experiencing psychosis, and that is only reported, they think it could be greter. Lovely to have the docs on the same page.
After no drugs working, we try ect, and it helps some. Going back on a benzo helped a tiny, perhaps same with lyrica and trileptal. I don't know if my brain would be receptive to an AP after my recent ECT.
Personally, i'd just like some more ect, and get off benzos, and drugs in general.
brian
Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 2, 2010, at 19:05:56
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 18:41:06
Hi Brian,
Your situation at home does sound unhealthy, definitely. The wrong environment can make things so much worse.
>Even with my avid and obsessional research abilities, I have not found a similar case.
I'm sure many people feel the same way, I know I used to. Despite labels such as bipolar, psych problems are often very unique. If you compare yourself with other people, you will find that some of your problems are similar but others are very different.
>I was a normal person. A college graduate, and a corporate worker, and a school teacher for years.
I was never quite normal :) Still, I'm more normal now than I've ever been in the past. I've had good times and bad times, but no very good times! Mainly just OK times recently. How old are you by the way? Just curious.
If your parents suffer from psych problems, you may have inherited genes which predispose you to mental health problems. Still, the right environment will help you. The place in the mountains looks beautiful. I hope you meet some friends there.
I don't think you'll be able to assess the benefits of any medication whilst withdrawing from diazepam. In the future, it may be that you will find a medication which really helps you. On the other hand, it could be that you feel better on no medication at all. It's impossible to say right now. The benzos are clearly a problem though. Even if you're not able to stop them completely, you may find stability on a low maintenance dose. There are millions of people out there on 2mg diazepam at night, or similar. Other people stop completely. It's a difficult journey. Why does life have to be so hard sometimes?
Ed
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