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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 53 to 77 of 182. Go back in thread:
Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 1, 2010, at 16:55:10
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 1, 2010, at 16:41:13
It sounds like Trileptal is destabilising you. I know you feel good in the morning but don't you end up feeling worse in the afternoon?
Perhaps Lyrica would help the benzo withdrawal, although I don't know whether the benefits of Lyrica will last. If you feel stoned on Lyrica the dose may be too high.
Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 1, 2010, at 17:01:03
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 1, 2010, at 16:41:13
>he said no, no, no. he just put me back on xanax.
What is the lowest dose of Xanax that you can take without suffering any major withdrawal symptoms?
Posted by qbsbrown on April 1, 2010, at 17:25:29
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 1, 2010, at 16:55:10
> It sounds like Trileptal is destabilising you. I know you feel good in the morning but don't you end up feeling worse in the afternoon?
>
> Perhaps Lyrica would help the benzo withdrawal, although I don't know whether the benefits of Lyrica will last. If you feel stoned on Lyrica the dose may be too high.
>
>
>Oh how i love the trilepal mornings, lol, i drink a pot of coffee, and go crazy on facebook for 2 hours. Gives me personality and humor and life back that are lost.
LOL, yes, probably trileptal, and every other drug out there destabilizes me. But having some functioning in the morning was better than none at all.
It was trileptal in fact, that started this whole mess a year ago. Although i was doing things i enjoyed, like exercising, and going to a zen center (trileptal allowed me to concentrate and meditate), but in my hypomania, i was preparing to go teach overseas, which i probably wasn't prepared for. The day i was preparing my things to leave,, hypomanic in the morning, my mother and i went for a drive, then then came the afternoon depression and irritability and racing thoughts, and i was like, wow, this drug is causing my problems. That is when i dropped it, and was left in my benzo cold turkey, and had this brutal past year of benzo wd and psychosis.
Then again, approximately 3-4 years ago, i was having a horrible time with valium withdrawal while living and teaching in china. I was depressed, and could not leave the house. i read about trileptal being used to aid benzo wd, i tried it, and i could leave the house and go on excursions, depression lifing (maybe hypomania then), and it allowed me to taper much quicker than I was. i did not even visit a benzo forum for a month, in which i was a daily visitor. But then i think the stupid dr said i was ocd (which many in benzo wd are dxed) and did not need trileptal, made me drop it, and put me on an AD, which of course made me more depressed and irritable, and i had racing thoughts and derealization, although i could keep my job, and it helped tapering partially, but home and social life were a wreck. I needed zyprexa just for the flight home from china my anxiety so high from benzo wd. I think it was 2.5-5mgs of zyprexa then, now, i could pop 30mgs zyprexa like candy.
Ed I really did not have much against lyrica (one of the few drugs i can say that about). It actually allowed me to travel, golf, go out with friends, drive long distances, which i have issues with racing thoughts. But it makes me pretty happy and social, and even keel, no ups or downs. I believe at one time, that i still needed a stimulant to be able to conentrate. But that would have to come at a later time after benzo wd. I believe when i came off of it, it was just my body, mind, intuition telling me that it did not want these foreign chemicals in them. Yes, lyrica was a false sense of well being, which is for sure welcome now, especially if i'm embarking on another benzo taper. Lyrica was the 2nd most difficult drug i ever came off, after benzos, but then again, i think i cold turkeyed it at first, and then a quick taper, too fast.My doc at the time, who had dxed me bipolar, and had tried me on every drug under the sun, and my mind and body were just telling me this wasn't/isn't right, had me up to 900mgs lyrica, which is obviously over the max. She had also at one time had me at 30mgs zyprexa. Just insane amounts of drugs to slow me down.
So I could drop the trileptal, and just see how i go with the lyrica and the valium. Or I could dose it 3 times a day, and see if it helps w/ benzo wd again.
Sorry for the long redundant stories.
I love hearing your input.
Brian
Posted by qbsbrown on April 1, 2010, at 17:29:15
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 1, 2010, at 17:01:03
> >he said no, no, no. he just put me back on xanax.
>
> What is the lowest dose of Xanax that you can take without suffering any major withdrawal symptoms?That's hard for me to gauge at this time (especially after being in benzo cold turkey psychosis for months lol). With my 2mgs 3 times a day, i still get the interdose wds. I believe that the lyrica is helping the severity of the interdose wds.
Tomorrow I get the valium. Do you think I should try 20mgs 3x a day and see how it goes?
I can get the lyrica dose up pretty quick, as i tolerate it fine.
Brian
Posted by qbsbrown on April 1, 2010, at 17:38:53
In reply to thanks Ed, posted by qbsbrown on April 1, 2010, at 17:25:29
And when I did add the trileptal that helped me taper and with depression while in china, i believe it was a very low dose, maybe 150mgs 2 or 3 times a day, perhaps the reason the psych did not believe that it could be helping me at all.
I could try 150mgs 3x a day now, or just drop it all together.
Votes?
Brian
Posted by qbsbrown on April 1, 2010, at 19:11:55
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 1, 2010, at 17:01:03
> >he said no, no, no. he just put me back on xanax.
>
> What is the lowest dose of Xanax that you can take without suffering any major withdrawal symptoms?Ed, even a couple hours after my 2nd 2mg xanax dose, I am feeling the physical wd.
The worst part is thinking of all of the years or times when i wasn't taking benzos, or they weren't even part of my thinking, instead of ruining my life.
I wonder if 60mgs of valium will hold anything.
Brian
Posted by Phillipa on April 1, 2010, at 20:00:20
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 1, 2010, at 19:11:55
Brian after reading all this thread I feel you should listen to the doc. What did the zyprexa do as you do sound a bit manic to me? Phillipa
Posted by qbsbrown on April 1, 2010, at 20:15:48
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me? » qbsbrown, posted by Phillipa on April 1, 2010, at 20:00:20
> Brian after reading all this thread I feel you should listen to the doc. What did the zyprexa do as you do sound a bit manic to me? Phillipa
We did not try much zyprexa, but I think that zyprexa just maintained the same phenomenea but added a little depressive tint to it before the ECT.
We even tried clozapine/clozaril for a few days, can't remember if that was before or after the ECT.
Brian
Posted by qbsbrown on April 1, 2010, at 20:44:27
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me? » qbsbrown, posted by Phillipa on April 1, 2010, at 20:00:20
> Brian after reading all this thread I feel you should listen to the doc. What did the zyprexa do as you do sound a bit manic to me? Phillipa
Doesn't appear that we have tried an antipsychotic since the ECT.
He said he wants to do this methodically, cause he knows i like to change, up, lower, all the time.
So he said lyrica for a week, and we'll go from there.
I'm sure he might be open to the idea of an AP right now though.
But before ECT, geodon, zyprexa, clozaril was doing nothing for the benzo wd psychosis
Brian
Posted by Phillipa on April 1, 2010, at 20:47:13
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 1, 2010, at 20:44:27
Brian I don't know what to suggest? Phillipa
Posted by qbsbrown on April 1, 2010, at 21:03:06
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me? » qbsbrown, posted by Phillipa on April 1, 2010, at 20:47:13
> Brian I don't know what to suggest? Phillipa
I know, a tough situation hon:(
Let's see how the reaction to valium goes, let's hope that i get better with the increases in my lyrica, and I will ask/suggest to the dr maybe trying an AP.
That said, I am somewhat set on leaving for the mountains of california to work on an organic farm, away from civilization, computers, phones, doctors, and electricity, and do a withdrawal there, while being in nature with animals in the spiritual realm:)
I have also reached out to an integrative psychiatrist who actually teaches at the Zen center I attend. I hope he has something to offer. He is also on the board of neurology which is a big plus for me.
Love,
Brian
Posted by qbsbrown on April 1, 2010, at 21:54:30
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 1, 2010, at 17:01:03
But for a doc to tell you to give up a drug, because he said no no no before you started it, even though it's giving me some functionability, which is much more than none, just because he said so, that's a tough one. Yes, perhaps it does cause instability.
So now i just drop trileptal, even though i function greatly for 5 hours in the morning lol
brian
Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 2, 2010, at 13:57:42
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 1, 2010, at 21:54:30
Hi Brian,
It seems to me that anything which helps you to stop taking benzos is going to be useful for you in the long term. You seem to suffer from a lot of side effects with them. In the long term, I think you would probably be better off without any benzos but you can't stop too quickly or else you will feel worse.
Why would Trileptal make you feel good in the morning and depressed in the afternoon? I don't really understand that.
I would start Valium at 10mg three times a day and then go from there. You will obviously need to adjust.
Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 2, 2010, at 14:02:52
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 1, 2010, at 21:54:30
Brian,
Are you on any medication for MS at the moment?
Posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 15:56:55
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 2, 2010, at 14:02:52
> Brian,
>
> Are you on any medication for MS at the moment?
>
>
Yes Ed, I take MS injections daily, oopaxone.Brian
Posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 16:23:58
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me? » qbsbrown, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 2, 2010, at 13:57:42
> Hi Brian,
>
> It seems to me that anything which helps you to stop taking benzos is going to be useful for you in the long term. You seem to suffer from a lot of side effects with them. In the long term, I think you would probably be better off without any benzos but you can't stop too quickly or else you will feel worse.
>
> Why would Trileptal make you feel good in the morning and depressed in the afternoon? I don't really understand that.
>
> I would start Valium at 10mg three times a day and then go from there. You will obviously need to adjust.Yes, getting off of the benzos was the goal over the past year, and now i am at double the starting dose of where i was a year ago, psychotic and crazy from it, even slow taper, the cold turkey, and the horror and terror of what i've experienced the past year that i see in intrusive images and thoughts all day is tormenting.
I just had to turn in my xanax to my dr, we discussed taking xanax xr, but ultimately went back to valium. He suggests 20mgs 3x a day. You think this is too high Ed? Being at double the starting dose from a year ago is very depressing. But i've been on 6mgs xanax for 2 weeks, wouldn't going to 30mgs valium cut in half my benzo intake?
Why trileptal makes me hypomanic in the morn, and the sort of depressed in the afternoon, and semi normal at night is beyond me. Perhaps 3 doses a day are better.
I DO know that trileptal has helped me wean off valium much quicker 2 times before, although trying to add it during my taper last year was terrible, as were adding all of the other anticonvulsants.
There are some studies. Some recent evidence in the literature suggests that the anti-convulsants Carbamazepine and its derivative oxcarbazepine show some potential in reducing benzo withdrawal severity. I'll refer you to the following studies:
Study (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entrez?Db=pubmed&Cmd=ShowDetailView&TermToSearch=16189750&ordinalpos=5&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsP anel.Pubmed_RVDocSum)
Study (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entrez?Db=pubmed&Cmd=ShowDetailView&TermToSearch=15510234&ordinalpos=6&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsP anel.Pubmed_RVDocSum)
Study (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entrez?Db=pubmed&Cmd=ShowDetailView&TermToSearch=2021297&ordinalpos=12&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsP anel.Pubmed_RVDocSum)This also said, when i was i the serious throws of my benzo wd last summer, and i tried to add an anticonvulsant so i could leave the house, they almost gave me nervous breakdowns literally. Just some sights and sounds, just hearing specific words from adding these anti convulsants was horrifying. These were drugs that i used to swallow like candy, such as depakote etc. I would even try to add back trileptal in the throws of my wd, and i'd be hypomanic in the morn, looking at teaching jobs overseas, and then depressed in bed, and ultimately making my wd symptoms worse.
Lyrica does seem to help with some anxiety, and I don't mind increasing it, and would imagine that it will help both my mood and perhaps help with WD.
Although even with a high dose of lyrica, which allowed me to do many things i couldn't, i still needed a stimulant for any concentration.
Even with all of the other drugs, i had severe concentration problems, and always seemed to need a stimulant, or once thought provigil was god send.
That said, i think with benzo wd, stimulants are going to have to wait for now.
I can't imagine what my cns has been through for the past years with benzos and stimulants, and i can probably even trace back MS symptoms maybe 3-4 years back, which i thought at the time were benzo wd related.
I still wonder that if taking my valium and lyrica with me to the mountains of california, to work on an organic farm, in a place i have no history, and people i do not know. I could not imagine not having computer use, as i've been obsessional with it for many years lol.
Because here, i hear me telling stories to people all day long, of my past, mental health history, about the withdrawal etc.
What i say to people, will repeat in my head over and over, what others say, will usually repeat. Before ECT, i would just look at my phone, i would hear what i had just texted the past person, or i would just touch my phone, and i would hear what i was going to text someone. Some of this psychotic phenomenea has calmed since ect, and perhaps the readdition of benzos.This is why i wonder that getting away from people, phones, computers, places with history, might be the most therapeautic thing for me.
Brian
Posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 16:33:34
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 16:23:58
I was trying to come off the drugs to be healthy and happy again lol. Not to become crazy and schizophrenic.
Before ECT, i literally could not even see the present moment. I could only see images from the past, and almost hearing future conversations at the same time. I could only see the past and hear/see the future. i would try to force myself to look at the tv, and try to watch it. Couldn't. Even going for drives in cars, i could still only see the past, and future conversations. I would try to focus on anything in the present, i could only hear myself reading license plates numbers, or hear me reading billboards. I could only hear my own voice. I could not think. The psychotic phonmenea would take hours to explain, not to mention my own voice talking about death and suicidie all day long, from the second i woke up, i would hear things about harming myself. Debates, arguments, intrusive images, thoughts, conversations, hearing my own voice, i could not even do simple things the intrusive everything was so bad, i couldn't do anything. I could only hear me talking to my doctors all day/night, explaining what i experience etc, it never ended.
Much has improved. Now, how to get back to completely normal, if that's at all posssible, i don't know.
What meds to take during this, i don't know.
I do know it's valium and lyrica for now. Trileptal seems to be my choice, and i'm not sure about it.
Brian
Posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 16:45:09
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 16:33:34
I just sure wish i could get some more ECT, that has seemed to help reset or readjust my brain, but can't afford it damnit!!!
Brian
Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 2, 2010, at 16:55:24
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 16:33:34
Hi Brian,
Do you get any support at home or do you live alone? It's difficult to even imagine what you must be going through at the moment.
Your meds have been changed so many times it's virtually impossible to know what the meds are actually doing. You seem to be suffering from a mixture of withdrawal symptoms between doses and side effects at the same time.... and then there's the further complication of the MS.
Diazepam has interesting pharmaco-kinetics. It is a drug which accumulates on repeated dosing due to the long duration of action of its major active metabolite.
After a single isolated dose of diazepam, its duration of action is normally quite short. After repeated doses, the effects last for many hours. 20mg three times a day should be OK initially but you should be able to reduce after a few days down to a much lower dose once it starts to accumulate. The lower the dose gets, the slower you will need to reduce. Hopefully, you will be able to get down to 30mg/day quite quickly. For example, you could take 20mg three times a day for three days then 15mg three times a day for five days then 10mg three times a day. From this point, you will need to reduce more slowly.
What do you think?
Ed
PS. It's difficult to be positive about mental healthcare in the UK but at least you wouldn't have to pay anything for the ECT. Most treatment is free here, except for small prescription charges (but many people have an exemption from charges).
> I was trying to come off the drugs to be healthy and happy again lol. Not to become crazy and schizophrenic.
>
> Before ECT, i literally could not even see the present moment. I could only see images from the past, and almost hearing future conversations at the same time. I could only see the past and hear/see the future. i would try to force myself to look at the tv, and try to watch it. Couldn't. Even going for drives in cars, i could still only see the past, and future conversations. I would try to focus on anything in the present, i could only hear myself reading license plates numbers, or hear me reading billboards. I could only hear my own voice. I could not think. The psychotic phonmenea would take hours to explain, not to mention my own voice talking about death and suicidie all day long, from the second i woke up, i would hear things about harming myself. Debates, arguments, intrusive images, thoughts, conversations, hearing my own voice, i could not even do simple things the intrusive everything was so bad, i couldn't do anything. I could only hear me talking to my doctors all day/night, explaining what i experience etc, it never ended.
>
> Much has improved. Now, how to get back to completely normal, if that's at all posssible, i don't know.
>
> What meds to take during this, i don't know.
>
> I do know it's valium and lyrica for now. Trileptal seems to be my choice, and i'm not sure about it.
>
> Brian
Posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 17:21:08
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me? » qbsbrown, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 2, 2010, at 16:55:24
> Hi Brian,
>
> Do you get any support at home or do you live alone? It's difficult to even imagine what you must be going through at the moment.
>
> Your meds have been changed so many times it's virtually impossible to know what the meds are actually doing. You seem to be suffering from a mixture of withdrawal symptoms between doses and side effects at the same time.... and then there's the further complication of the MS.
>
> Diazepam has interesting pharmaco-kinetics. It is a drug which accumulates on repeated dosing due to the long duration of action of its major active metabolite.
>
> After a single isolated dose of diazepam, its duration of action is normally quite short. After repeated doses, the effects last for many hours. 20mg three times a day should be OK initially but you should be able to reduce after a few days down to a much lower dose once it starts to accumulate. The lower the dose gets, the slower you will need to reduce. Hopefully, you will be able to get down to 30mg/day quite quickly. For example, you could take 20mg three times a day for three days then 15mg three times a day for five days then 10mg three times a day. From this point, you will need to reduce more slowly.
>
> What do you think?
>
> Ed
>
> PS. It's difficult to be positive about mental healthcare in the UK but at least you wouldn't have to pay anything for the ECT. Most treatment is free here, except for small prescription charges (but many people have an exemption from charges).
>
>
>
> > I was trying to come off the drugs to be healthy and happy again lol. Not to become crazy and schizophrenic.
> >
> > Before ECT, i literally could not even see the present moment. I could only see images from the past, and almost hearing future conversations at the same time. I could only see the past and hear/see the future. i would try to force myself to look at the tv, and try to watch it. Couldn't. Even going for drives in cars, i could still only see the past, and future conversations. I would try to focus on anything in the present, i could only hear myself reading license plates numbers, or hear me reading billboards. I could only hear my own voice. I could not think. The psychotic phonmenea would take hours to explain, not to mention my own voice talking about death and suicidie all day long, from the second i woke up, i would hear things about harming myself. Debates, arguments, intrusive images, thoughts, conversations, hearing my own voice, i could not even do simple things the intrusive everything was so bad, i couldn't do anything. I could only hear me talking to my doctors all day/night, explaining what i experience etc, it never ended.
> >
> > Much has improved. Now, how to get back to completely normal, if that's at all posssible, i don't know.
> >
> > What meds to take during this, i don't know.
> >
> > I do know it's valium and lyrica for now. Trileptal seems to be my choice, and i'm not sure about it.
> >
> > Brian
>
>I live with my parents at the moment. But with what i've been going through, and the things i've tried to explain, i have alienated all in my life, rightfully so. At first i was banned from even speaking about what's going on. Nobody wants to hear it. Unfortunately, nobody can even help.
Sounds good. We'll see how the reaction to diazepam goes this time round. I'll give the 20mgs 3x a day a go, and see how it goes. I can already feel wd from my 2mg xanax dose 5 hours ago. And to think of what i already went through physically, and withdrawal wise, from cold turkey, is just crazy.
I'd give anything to find a way to get about 3 thousand more dollars for 6 more ect treatments. Unfortunately, i can't find any family that can help, i haven't been able to work etc.
Damn, if i was only in the UK:)
Regards,
Brian
Posted by morganator on April 2, 2010, at 17:35:54
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 17:21:08
You were banned from talking about what's going on with you?!! Dude, that is NOT cool at all. You need support more than ever right now. I hate when people don't want to hear about negative things. I mean, when they are doing pretty good, they should have even more patience and tolerance for dealing with someone's issues. I f*ck*ng hate this world.
Man I can relate somewhat to what you are going through. I really hope you at least find a medication that will help you feel better. I'm not sure if benzos are a good long term solution. I'd be concerned about what they are doing to my brain. Then again, I guess we should be concerned about what any medication is doing to our brains in these archaic times in psychiatry.
Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 2, 2010, at 17:38:12
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 17:21:08
Hi Brian,
Yeah, I guess there are some advantages to living here :)
I imagine that your family wants to help you but they don't know how. Very difficult situation.
When do you take the first dose of diazepam? You might feel it 'kicking in' and 'wearing off' at first, but this probably won't last as the metabolite (desmethyldiazepam) starts to build up. Try to reduce to <30mg per day over the next couple of weeks. Too much diazepam might make you feel more depressed and irritable. Although you'll need to take the diazepam several times per day initially, you might be able to transfer onto a single dose at night after a while.
I hope Lyrica helps your withdrawal... although some people find Lyrica difficult to stop, which would be a problem if you do need to stop taking it. I'm sure it can't be as bad as stopping benzos though.
ed
> I live with my parents at the moment. But with what i've been going through, and the things i've tried to explain, i have alienated all in my life, rightfully so. At first i was banned from even speaking about what's going on. Nobody wants to hear it. Unfortunately, nobody can even help.
>
> Sounds good. We'll see how the reaction to diazepam goes this time round. I'll give the 20mgs 3x a day a go, and see how it goes. I can already feel wd from my 2mg xanax dose 5 hours ago. And to think of what i already went through physically, and withdrawal wise, from cold turkey, is just crazy.
>
> I'd give anything to find a way to get about 3 thousand more dollars for 6 more ect treatments. Unfortunately, i can't find any family that can help, i haven't been able to work etc.
>
> Damn, if i was only in the UK:)
>
> Regards,
>
> Brian
Posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 18:02:09
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me? » qbsbrown, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 2, 2010, at 17:38:12
> Hi Brian,
>
> Yeah, I guess there are some advantages to living here :)
>
> I imagine that your family wants to help you but they don't know how. Very difficult situation.
>
> When do you take the first dose of diazepam? You might feel it 'kicking in' and 'wearing off' at first, but this probably won't last as the metabolite (desmethyldiazepam) starts to build up. Try to reduce to <30mg per day over the next couple of weeks. Too much diazepam might make you feel more depressed and irritable. Although you'll need to take the diazepam several times per day initially, you might be able to transfer onto a single dose at night after a while.
>
> I hope Lyrica helps your withdrawal... although some people find Lyrica difficult to stop, which would be a problem if you do need to stop taking it. I'm sure it can't be as bad as stopping benzos though.
>
> ed
>
>
> > I live with my parents at the moment. But with what i've been going through, and the things i've tried to explain, i have alienated all in my life, rightfully so. At first i was banned from even speaking about what's going on. Nobody wants to hear it. Unfortunately, nobody can even help.
> >
> > Sounds good. We'll see how the reaction to diazepam goes this time round. I'll give the 20mgs 3x a day a go, and see how it goes. I can already feel wd from my 2mg xanax dose 5 hours ago. And to think of what i already went through physically, and withdrawal wise, from cold turkey, is just crazy.
> >
> > I'd give anything to find a way to get about 3 thousand more dollars for 6 more ect treatments. Unfortunately, i can't find any family that can help, i haven't been able to work etc.
> >
> > Damn, if i was only in the UK:)
> >
> > Regards,
> >
> > Brian
>
>Just took my first 20mg valium dose. Took it with a 100mg lyrica. Wonder about the trileptal if it's helped wd in the past, has some advantages, but many disadvantages etc.
If i head to the isolated moutains of california soon, i'll just go lyrica and valium, as on trileptal, i wouldn't wanna do physical manual farm labor, especially if i hit a depressive phase:)But if i stay here, it may assist in wd greatly, although have some bad emotional effects.
Quitting 900mgs lyrica was no walk in the park, 2nd worst drug to quit other than benzos, especially considering that i tried it cold turkey, and then a rapid taper. It sucked, flu like symptoms, depression etc, but NOTHING like a benzo wd. I'll be more smart about that one:)
Posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 18:12:13
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by morganator on April 2, 2010, at 17:35:54
> You were banned from talking about what's going on with you?!! Dude, that is NOT cool at all. You need support more than ever right now. I hate when people don't want to hear about negative things. I mean, when they are doing pretty good, they should have even more patience and tolerance for dealing with someone's issues. I f*ck*ng hate this world.
>
> Man I can relate somewhat to what you are going through. I really hope you at least find a medication that will help you feel better. I'm not sure if benzos are a good long term solution. I'd be concerned about what they are doing to my brain. Then again, I guess we should be concerned about what any medication is doing to our brains in these archaic times in psychiatry.Yes, I was banned, and have been banned again. Have been threatened, if i speak of suicide, or my voice that talks/instructs etc about suicide, if i mention that, i will be kicked out, taken to a homeless shelter etc. Other family members never want to hear the words psychosis or schizophrenic symptoms from me, or do not want to receive any emails in which they see as obsession.
I'm supposed to pick myself up by my boot straps and go get a job.
I am or have never been a violent or suicidal person in my life, but when you listen to your voice telling you too, that you're not supposed to be here etc, it's hard not to listen, and i had developed elaborate plans and asked all of my family to let me go. For my mother to see what i was going through, she almost reluctantly agreed to let me go, as the pain i was dealing with 24/7 was too overwhelming.
I had on a whim climed the mountains of utah, with no plans of coming down. I could only see the past, and i'd say/yell, "don't show me that", or i'd hear conversations with Drs or family members, and i'd say/yell, "don't talk to them", or i'd see the future etc. I did anything a madman would. danced like a native american, sat under a tree, similar to a bodhi tree as did buddha where he gained enlightenment. My brain was so messed up from the cold turkey, if i closed my eyes, i couldn't see anything, i could only see the past, and i could only hear my own voice.Unfortunately there were no meds that helped. The antipsychotics, even clozaril etc. Only after ECT, and back on benzos, maybe trileptal, i don't know, some is better. I would LOVE some more ECT, but I can't get the money to do so. Hence me thinking going up to the mountains, away from people, may calm many converssations and intrusive memories.
Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 2, 2010, at 18:22:06
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 2, 2010, at 18:02:09
Do you have any friends who understand what you're going through? I think that would help.
Would you go to the mountains alone?
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