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Posted by redscarlet on December 18, 2004, at 17:32:15
In reply to Welbutrin, posted by bridgey1128 on December 18, 2004, at 16:53:58
> Do you take it with anything else or just by itself? And if just an antidepressant works could you have just been misdiagnosed as bipolar? That is what is so confusing. It's never a perfected science. Some people are just depressed and diagnosed as bipolar. Some are bipolar, like me, and were diagnosed as depressed or either ADHD or schitzo or worse. I was just wondering if just an antidepressant works how to you handle the mania?
No, not misdiagnosed, I REALLY have bipolar.
I take Zonegran, Geodon, Seroquel and Xanax along with 450mg of Wellbutrin daily.
Posted by iris2 on December 18, 2004, at 18:37:57
In reply to Re: Bipolar meds --and weight, posted by banga on December 18, 2004, at 17:20:40
Of course if gaining weight causes another medical problem one has to take that into account. And one does not have to be thought of as vain just because of being unhappy about ones weight gain. There is nothing wrong with wanting to look good and feel and be healthy.I think I am just coming from a different place than most of you. I have had an eating disorder and accompanying body image problems and hysteria over weight gain for 30 years. I also suffer from a very severe treatment resistant depression of the same time period. I have had some medications help with the depression in the past. I am not able to work and have tried to commit suicide several times. The last mediation I tried helped with the constant ruminating negative thoughts (which I am feeling right now) but did nothing for my motivation, concentration or anhedonia at all. I did however gain several pounds on it my stomach got “real big”and I went up a size in clothes from 6 to 8 or more.. I wonder what some of you would have done in my shoes? I stayed on it for over three months and continued to have body changes. I was and continue to be very depressed about the body and weight changes and decided finally that the bad outweighed the good
I honestly think that from my perspective when talking about weight issues and depression I am coming a different place. I think that is why I get so upset when I read things like someone absolutely will not take a medication if it makes them gain weight. I am in a constant struggle with myself to be ok about my weight. I think if I find an antidepressant that works WELL I should take it even if I gain some weight. I would consider my depression a morbid disease and as such I need to be logical about some weight gain in this circumstance. If I had a debilitating physical illness that impaired my functioning in this manner and could take a drug so that I was able to function and work and have a life but gained some weight (not so much that it affected my health adversely) than I think that someone without an eating disorder would not think twice about it. For me I do and I do not think this is rational. It is close to saying I would rather take a chance on dieing than gain some weight. It is not rational and I need to continue to recognize this. I think I am personalizing what others say here and it does not pertain to my circumstance at all.
If I let the eating disorder get in the way of a possible treatment for my depression I am in a no win situation
I just think if one is severely ill whether mental illness or physical that gaining some weight from a medication that cures the ailment is an irrational reason not to take it. There is a big difference between being unhappy about being overweight and being depressed.
Posted by bridgey1128 on December 18, 2004, at 23:04:16
In reply to Re: Bipolar meds --and weight » banga, posted by iris2 on December 18, 2004, at 18:37:57
well I consider a size 6 or 8 to be very thin so for you to be upset about gaining weight is different than say...me at a size 20. I am sure your perception of having a "big stomach" might be so for you but I am sure those around you is not such, especially if you are like you say, a size 6 or 8. But like you said, it's as much an eating disorder as well. I have never had an eating disorder, I have just been overweight. If I were as thin as you to begin with I don't think I would be as upset about gaining a few pounds but I guess it would depend on how thin I had always been. If I had always been small then it would definitely upset me to suddenly gain a whole lot of weight caused by medication. I have been on both sides of the scale. I lost 90lbs after having my son and then gained it back when I got pregnant with my daughter! ACK! I am still trying to lose it 3 1/2 years later and finally getting it done. I guess I would have to weigh the odds if I were actually in someone elses shoes.
Posted by merry on December 19, 2004, at 0:30:33
In reply to Re: Bipolar meds --and weight, posted by bridgey1128 on December 18, 2004, at 23:04:16
I'm bipolar. I take 300mg wellbutrin to take care of the depression. It helps, but it makes me irritable. I have to take xanax to counteract that irritability. The topomax I take keeps my moods stable. Yeah right! Things are not so stable at this time. I'm still feeling all crazy. I really feel I need an adjustment somewhere. Whether it's the wellbutrin that pooped out on me or I need to boost up on the topomax. But I have to wait till next week and next week seems like 6 weeks away. Going BONKERS!!!!
Posted by rainy on December 19, 2004, at 9:23:19
In reply to wellbutrin, posted by merry on December 19, 2004, at 0:30:33
Hate that feeling! Can you get away for a good hard walk or run, merry? How about a well placed snack? Yesterday I staved off an anxiety attack by some shaved swiss cheese on thin crisp whole wheat cackers and a big glass of V8. (Ugh that sounds like a Helpful Hint.)
Is there anything you can let go? I know it's hard around the holidays but I'm doing it anyway, even though it's embarrassing to do so and sometimes makes it hard for other people, which smarts for a bit. Otherwise I'd be double bonkers, despite going up on Topamax. Or maybe because of, boy does that stuff make me mean.
When I see the pdoc afer Christmas I'm going to ask for another mood stabilizer to augment Top. 200 mgs Wellbutrin is about all I can handle--300 is crazy making, and Klonopin can be addictive or lose its punch, hence the cheese and crackers.
Check out the alternative board--there are some suggestions there that might be helpful. I'm scarfing down a capsule of Omega 3 fish oil, too, but it's too soon to see if that helps.
Keep us posted
Bonkers II
rainy
Posted by rainy on December 19, 2004, at 10:04:54
In reply to Re: wellbutrin » merry, posted by rainy on December 19, 2004, at 9:23:19
I'm sorry, merry. Too many suggestions, all about rainy. Hang in there and let us know how things work out for you.
Best
rainy
Posted by iris2 on December 19, 2004, at 11:25:20
In reply to Re: Bipolar meds --and weight, posted by bridgey1128 on December 18, 2004, at 23:04:16
Thanks for the response. I was trying to understand why I ws so upset over what people were saying about not gaining weight on an antidepressant and where they were coming from as compared to my own warped thoughts. You seem quite down to earth when you explain where you are coming from.
Posted by banga on December 20, 2004, at 10:06:04
In reply to Re: Bipolar meds --and weight, posted by iris2 on December 19, 2004, at 11:25:20
Just as you said, of course we all have differences in our situation! and I can understand your struggles.I apologize if my comments upset you. That's why in my post I started with a caveat that you have to first take stock of whether something else is feeding a fear of gaining weight. Just like any other difficulty, eating disorders can lead to exaggerated worries that need to be serioudly examined and checked with reality. With depression too you have to evaluate whether your perception/fears are warranted.
I just react a little when some say hey whats the big deal to gain weight---especially psychiatrists. And as someone else said, gaining say 10% of your weight is one thing, gaining 20-50% (even 90% for some!) when you are already at your ideal or even a little over it is worrysome.
I wish you all the best.
Posted by bridgey1128 on December 20, 2004, at 16:08:42
In reply to Re: Weight and meds--iris2, posted by banga on December 20, 2004, at 10:06:04
I just don't want to be fat either. ;) So I guess part of it is down right vanity and part of it is health.
Posted by rainy on December 20, 2004, at 16:28:27
In reply to Re: Weight and meds--iris2, posted by bridgey1128 on December 20, 2004, at 16:08:42
I just don't want to work--I'm so sick of cutting carbs, calories and "paying attention" to what I eat and being hungry--I'd like to just not worry about it. I've been weight obsessed since I was 11 years old, maybe younger and was buying Chubbette clothes at Montgomery Wards. I don't want to take medications now that haven't helped me feel better in the past, but have put me in adult Chubbettes. To quote you, Bridgey, Dur.
I know, though that I need to gain. I discovered this morning that I've lost four pounds without trying and I don't think it's because I've gone up by 25 mgs on Top for two weeks. I haven't changed eating or exercise patterns and it's a little freaky. But I want to gain it back naturally, not by some chemical change of metabolism that I won't be able to control. Go figure.
Have any of you had a pdoc fire you for noncompliance or the more pc term, "non-concordance?" If so, then what did you do? I'm afraid I'm going to get kicked out for inventing my own plan instead of taking her damn abilify, even though I told her I wouldn't without researching it. It is difficult to be a person in relationship.
rainy
Posted by bridgey1128 on December 20, 2004, at 18:00:28
In reply to Re: Weight and meds--iris2, posted by rainy on December 20, 2004, at 16:28:27
IF she "fires" you for noncomplience of your own body then I should say good riddance! She has no right to force you to take something you don't feel comfortable taking without researching it thoroughly first. If she does, then she isn't a very good Dr. I wouldn't worry about what your Dr thinks. Research it. If you don't like it, then tell her to pick something else. If she doesn't like it, and "fires" you then I think that would be rather unethical. I would equate that with someone picking up their toys and going home because they don't play by their rules. Let's hope she won't do that and will be understanding about the way you feel.
Posted by rainy on December 20, 2004, at 19:32:44
In reply to Re: Weight and meds--iris2, posted by bridgey1128 on December 20, 2004, at 18:00:28
yeah, well, this is one of the reasons I'm beginning the search for a new pdoc. The need to know and "my fears" about medication are "tying her hands" which makes me uncomfortable and I'm sure it frustrates her. It probably also impedes my progress, because as we've been discussing, when weight, lizard tongue and hair falling out issues emerge vs depression and hypomania of the irritable, foot in mouth variety, what do you do? Catch 33.
Gripe gripe gripe.
I always feel better when I read a novel or something so I'm going to go do that. Thanks for support, Bridgey. I think she's a good doctor, she just doesn't know what to do with someone who thinks she's her peer.rainy
Posted by rainy on December 21, 2004, at 6:12:11
In reply to Re: Weight and meds--iris2, posted by bridgey1128 on December 20, 2004, at 18:00:28
A long time ago I promised Redscarlet a web address that has med information: www.mcmanweb.com. John McMan also publishes a free newsletter that I've found interesting and useful called "McMan's Depression and Bipolar Weekly". His main focus seems to be on medications and research, all written in reader friendly language. He's very much an advocate for us, being bipolar himself. His last letter which came out a few weeks ago explained that he's almost through with a book (can't remember exactly what it's about, dopamaxed this morning) so the newsletter is on hold for now. I trust what this guy has to say.
rainy
Posted by redscarlet on December 21, 2004, at 13:28:35
In reply to Re: Weight and meds--iris2, posted by rainy on December 21, 2004, at 6:12:11
> A long time ago I promised Redscarlet a web address that has med information: www.mcmanweb.com. John McMan also publishes a free newsletter that I've found interesting and useful called "McMan's Depression and Bipolar Weekly". His main focus seems to be on medications and research, all written in reader friendly language. He's very much an advocate for us, being bipolar himself. His last letter which came out a few weeks ago explained that he's almost through with a book (can't remember exactly what it's about, dopamaxed this morning) so the newsletter is on hold for now. I trust what this guy has to say.
>
> rainy
rainy ~ Thank You so much, so nice of you... :-)I've had a couple of bad days and may need to up my Zonegran. But I'm just not sure, my doctor is out on vacation this week and even though some other doctor is filling in, he will not know me and I just don't feel like talking to someone I don't know and trying to tell them how I'm feeling....UGH !
I think I'll start taking an extra pill tonight and see how I feel in a day or two. I don't want to go through Christmas feeling like this. I don't think it will hurt me, just might not help thats all.Well, Thank You again for the website info... :-)
Posted by iris2 on December 21, 2004, at 14:28:44
In reply to Re: Weight and meds--iris2, posted by banga on December 20, 2004, at 10:06:04
Thank you for your response. I hope I too did not upset anyone. It is funny I have the same problem (if yours is a problem) with my family. They will not say be honest with me that I gained weight until it is a whole lot.
I hope everyone understands that the reason I posted all the personal stuff about my height and weight is so that people would understand me better and if they responded I would not feel like I was crazy so much.
Thanks again,
irene
Posted by iris2 on December 21, 2004, at 14:35:04
In reply to Re: Weight and meds--iris2, posted by bridgey1128 on December 20, 2004, at 16:08:42
In this society I think that is only being human. I think most of us would deal with being a little "fat" if it meant our mental health or physical health. If there is any alternative med that would not make me gain weight than of course I would want that. Even one that made me gain weight I decided to go off of because even though it helped my depression a little it was not much and compared to the "trauma" of the weight gain I did not think the trade off was worth it. I just wonder if other people who did not have an eating disorder too would have stayed on the antidepressant? I know we are all different but I have to try and figure out if I am thinking rationally or not.
Thanks everyone for all the help,
irene
Posted by iris2 on December 21, 2004, at 14:47:41
In reply to Re: Weight and meds--iris2 » bridgey1128, posted by rainy on December 20, 2004, at 19:32:44
Is your pdoc too closed minded to allow for you to have an opinion? I have found it helpful to be able to discuss a medication disagreement with mine at times. Sometimes I was persuaded to his opinion and others not. I was able to glean more information about the med and why the pdoc wanted me to take it or at times not to take it. Will the pdoc explain to you why he/she wants you to take the ablify? If you have your own information and can discuss it with her than it could be helpful to you. From what you have posted it does not sound like it though. Have you tried to ask her to discuss it? Most will not and think they are just so above you it is not worth their time but occasionally they can act human.Good luck,
irene
Posted by rainy on December 21, 2004, at 18:40:15
In reply to Re: Weight and meds--iris2 » rainy, posted by iris2 on December 21, 2004, at 14:47:41
No, she's not closed minded, exactly. She's let me have my say, but she doesn't like it. She verbalized this to my therapist who told me. Whether or not this was a breech of ethics I don't know, but I'm uncomfortable with this knowledge. I think I've been a good sport and swallowed a bunch of stuff that has done various bits of damage, none life threatening, without doing much help. I'd like not to keep repeating this process. I'm willing to put up with the Topamax aggravation (which is lessening) for it's benefits
You're welcome, Redscarlet. I hope you feel better. I'll be interested in hearing how your pdoc reacts to your tweaking of your meds.Time for bed and a book.
rainy
Posted by stresser on December 21, 2004, at 18:51:52
In reply to Re: Weight and meds--iris2 » iris2, posted by rainy on December 21, 2004, at 18:40:15
I remember Montgomery Wards! I think they went out of business when I was a teenager, I worked there when I was in high school during the summer.
Rainy- the topamax is making you lose weight ever without trying? I found a site called the Topamax Trip, and someome on there said it does not speed up the metabolism, so maybe you aren't eating enough? Do you think they could be wrong about the metabolism part?
Bridgey- Have you heard about your part yet?Nice to hear everyone is doing ok.-L
Posted by redscarlet on December 22, 2004, at 12:19:44
In reply to Re: Weight and meds--iris2 » iris2, posted by rainy on December 21, 2004, at 18:40:15
Update: Sense I was feeling so bad and thinking of upping my Zonegran on my own, I decided it would be best to call my doctors office even though I thought he was out of town already for the holidays and that I would have to talk to the fell in doc. Well it turns out I got the dates wrong for when my pdoc was leaving and he was still in the office yesterday...YEA ! So I got to talk to him and he did indeed increase my Zonegran. I hope to be feeling better by Christmas... :-)
Hope all of you are doing well, it's snowing here in Dallas !!!
Posted by stresser on December 22, 2004, at 12:33:05
In reply to Re: Topamax and metabolism, posted by stresser on December 21, 2004, at 18:51:52
I just went back and re-read the posts, so I can answer some of the questions you are asking. I don't think I am bi-polar, I have taken those self quizes and don't fit the type at all, but we will find out when I see my new pdoc in Jan. It will be interesting, I know there's something going on that's just not being diagnosed....I thing the rest of my family also suspects that. Is is possible to be bipolar and not have the usual symptoms? When I took the test on Physc. Central the Borderline Personality test fit me like a glove. It was FREAKY. Who knows.
Bridgey, you are correct, beging overwieght does make one depressed...I have been there twice in my life, and DO NOT, want to go there agian. It's a sad place where self-esteem has vanished, and digging yourself out of the hole seems much harder than staying there. Once you're out, you never want to go back, especially if you have worked to rise above it. Many things contribute to becoming depressed, some are medical and some come our own experiences. I feel that when I can help myself, I should do the most that I can, and went that's exhausted, then maybe a doctor can step and pick up the slack. We shall see.....the depression hasn't been as bad lately, although I don't know why? I'm trying to figure out that puzzle. For now, I will just keep doing what I am doing, and checking in with you wonderful people on this board for some great advice. -L
Posted by bridgey1128 on December 22, 2004, at 15:31:22
In reply to I just re-read the posts, posted by stresser on December 22, 2004, at 12:33:05
I GOT THE PART!!!!
Posted by redscarlet on December 22, 2004, at 15:43:21
In reply to stuff..., posted by bridgey1128 on December 22, 2004, at 15:31:22
Posted by rainy on December 22, 2004, at 16:35:53
In reply to stuff..., posted by bridgey1128 on December 22, 2004, at 15:31:22
Yaaaaaayyyy!!!! Bridgey !!
rainy
Posted by bridgey1128 on December 22, 2004, at 16:43:36
In reply to Congratulations (nm) » bridgey1128, posted by redscarlet on December 22, 2004, at 15:43:21
Shhhh quick! Lets talk about medication!
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