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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Journeyman on January 3, 2004, at 22:37:39
In reply to lexapro + social anxiety - any luck?, posted by reluctant on January 3, 2004, at 21:25:54
Reluctant:
A few thoughts in response to your posting:
You're articulate, funny, and obviously insightful;
Life is always going to be trial and error;
At the risk of not affirming your feelings...What could possibly be so bad about being seen for who you are? (See above)
Congratulations on getting some regular therapy. It will probably be a big help;
Your social anxiety probably has a lot to do with the lack of self-acceptance you imply. I struggle with that one a lot too. So with no further hesitation, there follows here, a tale of glad tidings that happened to me at my therapy session this week---
We were discussing how I felt about where I was in the process of accepting my dad's death (just over a year ago). I started off with something like, "Well, I may be deluding myself, but..." and then I went on for a sentence or two. She stopped me and said, "Okay, now try telling me again, but this time, leave off the 'I may be deluding myself' bit." I started over, and it was amazing what a difference it made in my narrative when I got rid of that simple, insidious little self-deprecating phrase. My whole energy field changed. I felt light, I felt energy, I felt like I could burn a whole in the wall with my gaze. My words, which prior to this had been coming out rather haltingly, started flowing - it just unlocked the good that is in me, but that often gets blocked by my self-doubt and/or lack of acceptance. If you've ever seen the film Cocoon, where there's a swimming pool in which these pods are being stored (if you haven't seen the film, ignore the next line or two - if you have...I felt like one of those beings...pure light) A very nice change to the 'little dark cloud in the sky today' that sometimes chases after me.
That's the abbreviated version, but if you're up for it, humor me and tell me about three things you do really well. The only catch is that you can't put in any qualifiers, caveats, conditions, etc. If it feels kind of good to write about it, I'd also like to hear about that too.
Richard
PS Good look with your journey
Posted by reluctant on January 3, 2004, at 23:27:51
In reply to Re: lexapro + social anxiety - any luck? » reluctant, posted by Journeyman on January 3, 2004, at 22:37:39
Richard,
wow. thanks; that's a pretty generous e-mail!
I will take you up on your . . . offer? challenge? . . . though you will have to give me a little time (it's past midnight & I would be foolish to embark on it now). but it means a lot to me; sometimes we desperately need to hear other people take an interest & concern, but it's not the sort of thing you can take up in a casual sidewalk conversation. "Hi, how are you? How's the job? How're the kids? Say, I've been really depressed - could you validate my feelings and help reaffirm my sense of self?"
I am happy to hear of your breakthrough. haven't seen cocoon but I think I get what you mean & can feel the joy in your words.
more later.
-r.
Posted by Bali on January 4, 2004, at 8:11:36
In reply to Re: trying another med » ocdforyears, posted by Mariposa on January 3, 2004, at 11:22:11
Dear ocdforyears,
Ditto to what Mariposa posted. I had side effects that were pretty nasty. The speeding feeling was one of those uncomfortable sides for me too, but when it did go away and the Lex took effect, I was almost euphoric with happiness. Like Mariposa, Lex has given me my life back. Now the normal ups and downs that regular life deals me are manageable. Please, please give it a tiny bit longer. That speeding feeling will go away soon, and when you get to week 5 or 6 I truly believe you will look back on the sides you are experiencing now and say, "I am so very thankful I stuck it out!!!!" Bali
Posted by Bali on January 4, 2004, at 8:39:13
In reply to Re: Lexapro + Wellbutrin, posted by platinumbride on January 3, 2004, at 22:18:14
Hi. I am on the Lex/Well cocktail and it has worked beautifully for me. I do have joy for life now (Platinumbride)....sometimes looking back at my former dark self I just can't believe I am the same person. I am a pleasure to be around (says my daughter and son) and just the other night I met someone and there were actual sparks. I've not wanted to go out, much less be involved with a man for at least three years. I used to be a social butterfly (Reluctant)but for some unknown reason just pulled inside of myself three years ago after a bad break up. It's not that I was still in love with this man from three years ago, it's just that I slid into a bad place and wasn't coming out of it. Those dark, ugly feelings I was having about people I would encounter in my everyday life were scaring me. I felt like an evil, very unattractive person. As I have posted before, Lex took away those sinister thoughts and made me feel good about myself despite me being over my regular weight. Adding Wellbutrin, I think, is what got me out of the house and socializing...and, voila, I even talked to and felt chemistry toward someone.(!) This is a wonder to me because I've not had this feeling for so long. You know that normal feeling that you can have when you see an attractive man/woman and you get a little butterfly feeling? Well, that was totally dead inside of me. When I met this guy, I wasn't thinking "Oh, this is the one, swoon, swoon", but I was thinking, "Wow, I can be attracted to and be attractive to someone(!)" This has been a long post, but you can see from all of the above that Lex-Wellbutrin has been very, very good to me. I like myself and because of that other people like me. Bali
Posted by reluctant on January 4, 2004, at 8:57:19
In reply to Re: Lexapro + Wellbutrin, posted by Bali on January 4, 2004, at 8:39:13
thanks Bali, that's encouraging. wellbutrin alone helped get me to the point where I could feel interested in getting involved with someone again (it's been *5* years!), and feel attracted to others - but actually taking the risks involved has been a different story. But so far so good with the lexapro - I feel pretty good & hope it will help with some of these issues. (i have a bad case of the flutters for a certain individual & think i sense some reciprocal energy - but i've been too terrified to do anything about it & have run away on a number of occasions).
Intimate relationships aside - the depression-induced celibacy thing sort of leaches into every aspect of life, I find. It doesn't just have to do with love and sex, but also with being able to be open to other people. so being able to get a simple case of stomach butterflies is a pretty major accomplishment, i'd say. congratulations!
-r.
Posted by Vandy on January 4, 2004, at 12:48:02
In reply to Wicked Witch of the West, posted by Linny on December 30, 2003, at 18:23:32
I'm sorry you're having this experience. I don't think I'm any meaner or sarcastic than I was before Lex. But then who am I to know. My friends haven't mentioned it and my wife who is also taking Lexapro neither shows such symptoms or complains about them in me.
I'm curious. What do you say to your wife that makes her seem defensive? I'd sure suggest some "Couples Work" if it were me. Would she respond favorably to a suggestion of joint counselling? I'm interested in your response.
Keep hoping until it gets better.
> Help!! My wife of 5 years has been taking Lexapro
> for about 9 months. Since that time she has
> become downright mean. She has changed from
> someone who was a joy to be around to someone
> that is sarcastic, rude and unpleasant. I know
> it's the drug. I can't talk to her about it because
> she becomes defensive. Now I'm going to talk to
> her Dr. or to our Atty for a divorce. Does anybody
> know somebody that has taken Lexapro and has become
> the wicked witch of the west. I love her so...
> Linny
Posted by Vandy on January 4, 2004, at 12:57:39
In reply to Re: Lexapro, posted by Alouette on January 1, 2004, at 18:26:28
Yes, your sex drive can come back. Make sure you do two things: 1. Expect it to return. Life seems more inclined to give us what we expect (sometimes to our detriment) 2. Put yourself in a place where you can notice it. My wife (who also takes Lexapro) showed me the best example of this. She was watching "Real Sex" on HBO and they had a particulary provocative program. I watched it with here and took notes. I was fortunate to "be attacked" later that night and the notes came in handy, pardon the pun. My wife used to instigate intimacy as often as I did before lexapro. Gradually that's an equation that's moving toward balance again.
> Hi All - I was on Effexor years ago (it helped my depression a lot but I hated the side effects); went off for a couple years; went on Prozac for a few years (ditto). I've been off antidepressants & doing well for about 1-1/2 years, but the last few months I've been swirling down, including loss of job. Two weeks + two days ago I went on Lexapro 10 mg a day. Yesterday was the first day I wasn't fantasizing about my own death - yay! (Don't worry - I'll never "off" myself because I have children, but when I'm depressed, sometimes it's a relief to think about suicide.) Today I'm a little glum again. Sleeping a lot, otherwise no side effects.
>
> I sure would like to hear that there's hope that I'll feel a lot better soon on Lexapro -- especially since the side effects seem to be minimal.
>
> Also, what are the hopes that my sex drive (which was actually way down even before I went on Lexapro) will ever return on Lexapro?
>
> Thanks! Alouette
Posted by nicky847 on January 4, 2004, at 15:47:23
In reply to Re: Lexapro Week 5 Blues, posted by sip on January 2, 2004, at 22:14:13
Hi everyone..
Just wanted to report that week 6 has been considerably better than week 5...during week 5 i felt some depression symptoms creeping back..but in week 6 i can say that as far as the depression goes i feel much better...anxiety is slightly improved as well but i think that lex has done more for depression to this point than it has for anxiety...so in reference to the post im replying to here..it looks like my experience followed the pattern that ive read on some other posts..in that there is a slight backsliding after about a month before progress is resumed..hope that helps!
> I can't find my old post responding to this thread. I think I wrote it earlier in the week re: feeling a little down in my 4th week. I increased to 10 mg from 5 mg on Sat. nite 12/27, about a week ago. I forgot to take my Lexapro New Year's Eve, when I also got my way overdue period and had one hit of marijuana but no alcohol. Yesterday 1/1 I was very tired and at night I took my usual dose. I woke up extremely tired and I started feeling a little depressed as the day went on and I don't know if missing one dose + period + a little marijuana could possibly have triggered this?
>
> I also am leaving a job I have loved. I run groups for adolescents and tonight was my last time running one such group and the kids said very beautiful things appreciating me. I know this made me sad and a little anxious about the decision I made, but my current mood is more of a depressed feeling then just sadness.
>
> Just wondering if anyone has any perspective because I think I am lacking in that department right now. I know people have said there are ups and downs with this (and all) meds and maybe this is just my down but I am feeling a little discouraged and concerned that Lex isn't working for me anymore. Thanks.
>
>
Posted by JohnFromCalifornia on January 4, 2004, at 15:53:12
In reply to Re: Excessive Sleepiness » JohnFromCalifornia, posted by Jayslace on January 3, 2004, at 21:26:56
Well into my third week of Lexapro 10 mg, my side effects (sleepiness, dry mouth) are noticeably fading. So I'm hopeful that you give your new 20 mg dosage a chance. That's a heft increase.
As we both are aware, there are other SSRIS (like Paxil) with far worse side effects. I gained 10 lb in two weeks on that stuff, and I cycle 150 miles per week!
Lexapro seems at least as powerful as Paxil and a few weeks into it I think I'm going to find the side effects manageable after all.
Hang in there! -- John in California
> Hi, I'm new to this board. I'm been on Lexapro 10mg for about 3 months with pretty success. No side effect at all. But my doc and I thought we needed to up the dosage, so I am now on 20mg. Just started it yesterday. Just today I am so tired.
Posted by Jayslace on January 4, 2004, at 16:28:15
In reply to Re: Excessive Sleepiness, posted by JohnFromCalifornia on January 4, 2004, at 15:53:12
Thank you for your support. I too thought it was too much of an increase. I went to bed at midnight last night, and slept till noon today. And that was without my normal Ambien. (yes, I normally have to take Ambien, I mind normally never shuts down, to even let me sleep, that's another reason why my doc increased my Lex)I got out of bed a few times to use the bathroom, but went right back to sleep. My wonderful hubby said I slept so good, he just didn't want to wake me up till I woke up on my own. It's been since Sept 2001 since I have even slept this good.(That was when the brain tumors were removed, 10/01 was the pulmonary embolism and I died for 5 minutes... hmmm.. now why would I even have depression... anyway.. So, I am actually liking the idea of sleeping so good at night, but dreading taking the pill again, but I will hang in there.
My suicide ideations are gone. The Lex helped me so much to be able to cope with my sadness of not being able to be a nurse or even work anymore. I'm learning to accept that I can't read a long book and comprehend it, or concentrate well enough to drive anymore. However, I also know now that I am a full time mother to 2 handsome 8 and 11 yr old boys and a wife to a loving, supporting husband. In fact, I asked the boys and my husband to help keep me awake, and they are.
You all are fantastic for being here and talking. Right now I feel like a sleepy robot, but I know I will feel better in a couple of weeks. Yes, I'm hanging in there!!
Health and friendship,
Ruthie
Posted by sip on January 4, 2004, at 17:14:30
In reply to Lexapro Week 5 Blues Update-Week 6, posted by nicky847 on January 4, 2004, at 15:47:23
Yes, that's helpful to hear! Thanks for posting it.
Posted by Alouette on January 4, 2004, at 17:39:43
In reply to Re: Lexapro, posted by Vandy on January 4, 2004, at 12:57:39
Thanks Vandy!
I'm sleepy today, but my daughter just went back home (to opposite coast) after holidays here with me, so I'm allowing myself a low-energy Sunday. I'm usually really sad when my (adult) kids leave me to return to their lives. Today I'm just lethargic.
I seem to sleep many extra hours on Lex. Will this go away?
Would Wellbutrin help with sleepiness?
Thanks for being there. Best wishes from Alouette
Posted by qtr-horse girl on January 4, 2004, at 17:53:50
In reply to Re: Lexapro + Wellbutrin, posted by Bali on January 4, 2004, at 8:39:13
I certainly appreciate your responses. I have been researching this in order to bring it up to my doc. They are about at wits end with me as much as I am. Mine started about 7 years ago after finally admitting I was depressed due to chronic pain. Last year it became really bad due to almost losing my sister in an automobile accident on Jan 13, she is a miracle, losing my mother in June to a fast acting cancer and the fact we have always been on shaky ground, then I was out of work for 2 months in Sept-Nov due to my pain and I have a knew boss who overstepped his boundries and began harassing me while I am on W/C. I hate to go on but I had a pretty rough year as I am sure everyone else has or worse. I tried coming off the stuff all together but it wasn't good. I am so glad I found ya'll.
Thanks, qtr-horse girl
Posted by Mrs C. on January 4, 2004, at 20:17:05
In reply to lexapro + social anxiety - any luck?, posted by reluctant on January 3, 2004, at 21:25:54
I don't really know anything about social anxiety, I just wanted to wish you luck. You sound like a wonderful and intelligent person.
Mrs C.
Posted by Mrs C. on January 4, 2004, at 20:19:04
In reply to Re: Excessive Sleepiness » JohnFromCalifornia, posted by Jayslace on January 3, 2004, at 21:26:56
Wow, you sure have been through alot. Sounds like you will be a nice addition to this board. I hope you keep posting.
Mrs. C.
Posted by Mrs C. on January 4, 2004, at 20:35:49
In reply to Re: Lexapro + Wellbutrin, posted by qtr-horse girl on January 4, 2004, at 17:53:50
Hi,
Just wanted to thank you for such an honest and open post. I continue to be amazed by how open we can all be with eachother. I think it really helps everyone who reads this board even if they never post. I look forward to coming to this board every night when the kids are in bed and the house is quiet. I feel like I've made new friends and it feels wonderful to know that I am not alone in all of this. Hope everyone has a happy Monday! Good luck with your new combo qtr-horse girl.
Mrs. C
Posted by Journeyman on January 4, 2004, at 20:46:38
In reply to Re: Excessive Sleepiness, posted by Jayslace on January 4, 2004, at 16:28:15
Ruthie:
Congratulations on climbing out of a pit that many would have trouble even seeing the top of, let alone managing to escape.
The adjustments you mentioned that you're having to make (reading, driving, working outside the home) are enormous. You've done very well to come so far, and how lucky for your husband and boys just to be able to have you at all beyond the whisper of memories.
Your courage and strength are an inspiration.
Health and friendship to you too.
Richard
Posted by Journeyman on January 4, 2004, at 20:55:46
In reply to Re: Lexapro + Wellbutrin, posted by qtr-horse girl on January 4, 2004, at 17:53:50
Dear Qtr-horse girl:
I'd say that after running a year like 2003, you deserve the Triple Crown.
It's a wonder and a testament to the human spirit that people can even function when beset by some of the experiences we read about on this board.
May 2004 be your best year yet.
Richard
Posted by Journeyman on January 4, 2004, at 20:59:58
In reply to Re: Excessive Sleepiness, posted by JohnFromCalifornia on January 4, 2004, at 15:53:12
John:
You're sounding better than your previous post a few days ago. Sounds like things are picking up.
Please let us know when you get back on your bike again, even if it's just for a spin around the block.
Richard
Posted by Journeyman on January 4, 2004, at 21:01:10
In reply to Re: Excessive Sleepiness, posted by JohnFromCalifornia on January 4, 2004, at 15:53:12
John:
You're sounding better than in your previous posting a few days ago. Sounds like things are picking up.
Please let us know when you get back on your bike again, even if it's just for a spin around the block.
Richard
Posted by reluctant on January 4, 2004, at 21:06:14
In reply to Re: lexapro + social anxiety - any luck?, posted by Mrs C. on January 4, 2004, at 20:17:05
> I don't really know anything about social anxiety, I just wanted to wish you luck. You sound like a wonderful and intelligent person.
> Mrs C.well I ain't too smart but I'm a hard worker . . .
honestly, between you & journeyman . . urk. thanks. journeyman asked me to list 3 things i'm good at w/ no disclaimers etc. "accepting compliments" would not be on the list, though "self-deprecating humor" might. so for the moment I will just hold my tongue. the support is appreciated! both for myself and for other people to whom you've lent kind words.
it is good to have this board; I've lurked for a long time before posting. part of me held back for a long time because of a perverse notion that discussing my condition with others would make it more real, cement it . . . but really,talking about it and allowing the depression to come out from under the carpet puts us more in control. does that make sense? personally I can't really talk about it anywhere else, except with my immediate family, and somehow their concern makes me feel worse - like an invalid.
there is also something healing about reaching out to others to offer help & support - on both ends. thank you everyone! it's especially nice to see that there are a lot of positive people on this board - which is fairly remarkable. it's hard to be positive with this stuff.
sorry this has gotten off the topic of medication. ok, a med update: lexapro/wellbutrin still ok (though inevitable teeth clenching going on) - cleaned apartment, washed and combed dog (no small feat) - generally feeling more capable. it's still early & i'm not exactly a ball of sunshine yet, but I sure do feel better than on the zoloft/wellbutrin. there, now i've talked about medication.
-r.
Posted by Journeyman on January 4, 2004, at 21:06:27
In reply to Re: Lexapro + Wellbutrin, posted by Mrs C. on January 4, 2004, at 20:35:49
Dear Mrs C:
Wherever you are and whatever you're doing, I wish you both a pleasant Monday and a vigorous, peaceful, joy-brimmed new year.
You're absolutely right about the board. There are times when I feel like writing; sometimes I just take comfort in reading what other people are saying. Either way, it's become an important new kind of community for me.
Thanks for your frequent and supportive messages to the board.
Richard
Posted by Jayslace on January 4, 2004, at 21:13:26
In reply to Re: Excessive Sleepiness » Jayslace, posted by Journeyman on January 4, 2004, at 20:46:38
Good evening to all,
I've made it through another day, and stayed awake! Hard to have done , yes, even with all this rain in this Ohio valley plus the Lex. LOL
My kids are in bed, and my husband and I are heading that way too. But I just shared with him the encouraging letters I just read on this board. We both feel I have finally found the right people to have come to talk to , or at times to just sit back and listen to.
I do see a psychologist every 2 weeks also. She has been a very welcome 3rd party person , I have to say. I've only been seeing her for 2 months now. But she gives me a comfortable feeling to be able to talk.
There is just so much more to life than looking down at the dirt, we must look up at the sky more often. See the birds, the tree tops, watch the clouds float by. Feel the sun on our face.
That's what I am trying to do again. And I am doing it much more.
I breathe therefore I am...
Health and friendship and good sleep to us all,(but not too much!!)
Ruthie
Posted by Journeyman on January 4, 2004, at 21:25:33
In reply to psychobabble mutual admiration club » Mrs C., posted by reluctant on January 4, 2004, at 21:06:14
Dear r (which along with reluctant, could also stand for revered, rambunctious, rollicking, riveting, etc.)
If I were an editor (and thank god/buddha, the goddess, Allah, Yaweh, etc. I'm not) and I were gleaning missives for you know what, I wouldn't even get past your first sentence to Mrs C.
Well, I'll save that challenge for your actual response posting.
In the meantime, I'm glad you had a decent day today.
And even if you aren't "exactly a ball of sunshine yet," where would we (and those of The Great Depression) be without moonshine?
No sure how long you've been on Lex, but a number of people have mentioned the teethclenching.
Richard
Posted by reluctant on January 4, 2004, at 21:30:24
In reply to psychobabble mutual admiration club » Mrs C., posted by reluctant on January 4, 2004, at 21:06:14
I wanted to offer some words to everyone that were helpful for me. They come from Thomas Moore's Care Of The Soul - a book that I have mixed feelings about. Sometimes its messages are a theraputic jolt & very thought-provoking, other times I think the book glosses over serious pain with new-agey hoke - but this passage in particular gave me a lot of food for thought:
(hope it's ok to excerpt passages on this board)"Loneliness can be the result of an attitude that community is something into which one is received. Many people wait for members of a community to invite them in, and until that happens they are lonely. There may be something of the child here who expects to be taken care of by the family. But a community is not a family. It is a group of people held together by feelings of belonging, and those feelings are not a birthright. 'Belonging' is an active verb, something we do positively. . . . A person who is oppressed by loneliness can go out into the world and simply start belonging to it, not by joining organizations, but by living through feelings of relatedness - to other people, to nature, to society, to the world as a whole. Relatedness is a signal of soul. By allowing the sometimes vulnerable feelings of relatedness, soul pours into life and doesn't have to insist on itself symptomatically."
easier said than done, maybe, but it put the problem of being with others in a new light. and i thought it was apropo for this board.
-r.
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