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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 35 to 59 of 72. Go back in thread:
Posted by BarbaraCat on March 21, 2002, at 19:10:21
In reply to BCat: answers, more! » BarbaraCat, posted by Janelle on March 21, 2002, at 18:22:56
Janelle,
I'm not going to be much help about the years/earned question cause I'm not sure how they figure the amount. I've worked for many years and earned a goodly sum over those years, so I never had to question whether or not I'd qualify. The thing you need to do is to call the SS office and ask for a statement. They usually send you a form to sign and then in about 2 weeks you get a list that details how much you'd qualify for.As for my physical symptoms, when I'm having a fibro flareup I'm totally debilitated. Mainly my muscles ache and I'm very fatigued and feel toxic. It's just like the feeling of having a bad case of the flu with the deep aches and wiped out feeling. It feels like whatever it is affects my brain too, so I get confused and depressed and anxious. Sometimes I'll get stomach problems like cramping or diarreah or won't be able to go at all. Everything feels inflamed and toxic. It's pretty horrible, but it's definitely getting better now that I'm not exposed to the constant stress of my job any more. I also have just garden variety depression without the fibro and what you described as your symptoms sound exactly like mine. - Barbara
Posted by BarbaraCat on March 21, 2002, at 19:58:30
In reply to Re: BCat: answers, more!, posted by Kar on March 21, 2002, at 18:52:04
Dear Karen,
Whew, what a major question/issue you brought up about feeling guilty and how do significant others relate. I have a very supportive husband. He is a gem. He's been with me through some ghastly episodes over the last 14 years. I asked him just now after reading your post and we had a good talk about it. He said that he knows when I'm having a bad time and understands that I can't do anything about it and his main feeling is concern about me. I usually feel guilty when I'm in bed for weeks. He feels that if bed is the best place, then whatever is going to get me feeling better is good. He's picked up an amazing amount of slack for me. On the other hand, I had a problem in the past medicating with alcohol and it got to be a big problem between us. The days I would spend laying in bed depressed after drinking too much he said disgusted him. He said there's a big difference between my truly being sick and being self-destructive.We both agreed that the main component is love. I was with a guy for 5 years who I had to hide my depression and panic attacks from because it was definitely not OK for me to be 'weak' or 'weird'. It's now clear that he did not love me and considered my high maintenance times a big imposition. I think the big questions that you fear he's thinking are 'Will this person ever get better? Am I going to be saddled with a big problem?' When we're depressed, we naturally think we'll never get over it, but the other person doesn't necessarily see it that way at all. My husband said that my sharing what I've learned about depression and new research, neurochemistry, etc., is fascinating and he feels like we're stalking this mystery together. He's also had a few bad episodes himself so he understands how bad and helpless it feels. I think this is an important part, that he's been in a similar place and can relate.
If you haven't talked about this issue yet with your fiancee then it's probably time to do so. Also, it's important for us to have a sense of dignity and pride in ourselves for being so courageous in the face of a horrendous illness. No tail between the legs skulking off ashamed for feeling bad, but the commitment to do what it takes to heal, and if this person can't deal with it then you don't need the extra bad energy. Talk to him. Good luck. - Barbara
Posted by shelliR on March 21, 2002, at 20:18:40
In reply to BCat: Thanks for the info, more: » BarbaraCat, posted by Janelle on March 21, 2002, at 1:57:03
> I'm not sure what I'll do regarding SS disability - right now I'm so bad off I can't even cope with filling out the forms. I had a real bad day today but I'm glad you said yours was a bit better.
> -Janelle
Janelle,If you can't answer the forms, you can make an appointment with SS and they'll help you. (It might even help you get it to need help doing the forms.)
Also to Barbara: I think if you win an appeal, they aren't allowed to reevaluate you for three years.
Shelli
Posted by BarbaraCat on March 21, 2002, at 20:32:11
In reply to Re: BCat: Thanks for the info, more: BKAT » Janelle, posted by shelliR on March 21, 2002, at 20:18:40
Shelli,
Thanks for the info. I didn't know they re-evaluated you, but it makes sense. Do you know of anyone who has been successful getting SSDI? - Barbara
Posted by shelliR on March 21, 2002, at 21:06:28
In reply to SSI » shelliR, posted by BarbaraCat on March 21, 2002, at 20:32:11
> Shelli,
> Thanks for the info. I didn't know they re-evaluated you, but it makes sense. Do you know of anyone who has been successful getting SSDI? - Barbarais SSDI, social security, disability? If it is, I got it on my first appeal, but that was a long time ago. I did't even get an attorney--I just wrote them a pathetic letter how hard it was for me to be alive, how did they expect me to work? It's hard to believe I got it. But I think they make it so you almost have to fail on your first try. I think it's only on your second try that they actually send all the forms to your doctors.
I actually know a lot of people who got it on their first try because they had DID, dissociative identity disorder and several hospitalizatons. I think it might be hard without hospitalizations.
Shelli
Posted by BarbaraCat on March 21, 2002, at 23:46:00
In reply to Re: SSI » BarbaraCat, posted by shelliR on March 21, 2002, at 21:06:28
SSDI is Social Security Disability Insurance which is for being disabled for at least 12 months and expected to last at least 12 months more. SSI is for when you retire and SSSI, Social Security Supplemental Insurance is for financial need when you're sick. It means you're making less than $740 a month. That's kind of the story, I may have a few items off.
Posted by Janelle on March 22, 2002, at 0:08:57
In reply to Re: SSI » shelliR, posted by BarbaraCat on March 21, 2002, at 23:46:00
I have been following this thread about Social Security, growing more confused by each topic about what the different letters stand for and mean - I was going to put up a thread asking what they stand for and mean, when lo and behold I clicked on yours and there were the answers!
However, I still have a few questions:
Which one - SSDI or SSSI - is the one that people apply for and usually get rejected the first time, have to appeal, etc.?
Also, with SSDI, the person would have to *wait* until they were disabled for 12 months before applying for it?
Also, you said that SSSI is for financial need when you're sick. It means you're making less than $740 a month. So, you can be employed and still apply for SSSI??
And which one are YOU applying for (I am guessing it's the SSSI)??
Thanks as always!
-Janelle
Posted by Janelle on March 22, 2002, at 0:24:38
In reply to Re: BCat: answers, more!, posted by Kar on March 21, 2002, at 18:52:04
To answer your question about significant others/kids, I do have a significant other who is incredibly sensitive, understanding and supportive of me. No kids.
Posted by Janelle on March 22, 2002, at 0:27:16
In reply to Re: SSI » shelliR, posted by BarbaraCat on March 21, 2002, at 23:46:00
I read your response to Kar regarding sig others - your husband sounds wonderful, much like my boyfriend is.
You didn't indicate either way whether you have children or not, I get the impression you don't, but I'm just curious to know if you have kids or not? If you do, how do you handle their needs when you're feeling down and out?
Me, I have no children, and I marvel at those with children who manage to care for them while they are going through depression, anxiety, etc.
Posted by Janelle on March 22, 2002, at 0:31:06
In reply to Re: BCat: answers, more!, posted by Kar on March 21, 2002, at 18:52:04
Kar,
You said that you were turned down for disability becasuse you didn't have enough work credits and you also said it was SSI that you were turned down for.
However, when I clicked on that link you gave (thanks a mill for that, btw!) it said that SSDI is the one that requires work credits and SSI is for low income people and does not require work credits. So, now I'm thinking it must have been SSDI, not SSI that you applied for?
Posted by Janelle on March 22, 2002, at 0:42:00
In reply to Re: BCat: a wee bit more questions (sorry):, posted by Kar on March 21, 2002, at 19:01:12
Kar - in one of your threads you said D-oh, that BCat had already provided the SS website, but I re-read her SS topics and can't find any link to it in any of her topics here! Hmmm ... which of her threads is it in?!!
Posted by BarbaraCat on March 22, 2002, at 0:55:58
In reply to BCat: you must have read my mind, questions: » BarbaraCat, posted by Janelle on March 22, 2002, at 0:08:57
I'm applying for SSDI, the disability insurance. That's where you have to be expected to be disabled and not able to work for at least 12 months. It doesn't mean you have to wait 12 months, just that you're sick enough to warrant not working for at least 12 months. That's something your doctor decides. Your doctor also has to fill out forms, by the way, so it's a good idea to let him/her know you're applying and request that he/she support you in your claim.
SSI is plain old Social Security that most people get when they're 62 or so. I'm not old enough for that.
SSSI (I'm not sure if I'm getting all these letters right) is short-term disability, if you have a financial need due to sickness or disability, kind of like Wellfare, but of a short-term duration (I don't know how long that would be). In order to qualify, you have to be dirt poor, $740 max a month, and I'm not sure if living with someone (not a spouse) gets included in that amount, like if someone were supporting you. I also don't know if past wages/years working figures into it.
I might not be giving 100% accurate info, so girl, you gotta make that phone call to the SSI office and they'll answer your questions better than I can. They'll tell you what you're eligible for and like Shelli said, they'll even fill out the forms for you and it might be to your advantage to show them how sick you feel.
Posted by BarbaraCat on March 22, 2002, at 1:02:23
In reply to BCat: one more question (not re SS !!) » BarbaraCat, posted by Janelle on March 22, 2002, at 0:27:16
Janelle,
No kids. I too marvel at those who can manage. I don't know if I could do it, but I guess you do what you have to. Sometimes, especially at Christmas, I wish I had a little one, but with all that's going on in the world I'm sure I would worry myself into a frenzy. We have 8 cats, however, and they satisfy that maternal urge. When I'm in a bad anxiety/depression, however, I worry about them constantly.Do you expect you'll have kids someday?
Posted by BarbaraCat on March 22, 2002, at 1:05:23
In reply to KAR - an OCD type question, bear with me! » Kar, posted by Janelle on March 22, 2002, at 0:42:00
Janelle,
It's www.ssa.govIt's really pretty complicated stuff, so give those nice folks at the SS office a call, but maybe this website will help in the meantime.
Posted by Janelle on March 22, 2002, at 1:46:27
In reply to Re: BCat: one more question (not re SS !!) » Janelle, posted by BarbaraCat on March 22, 2002, at 1:02:23
No, Barbara, I won't be having kids anytime - technically I still *can* if you know what I mean(!), but 1) I feel that I'm too *old* (I'm at an age where it is considered risky), 2) I'd be afraid I'd pass this depression/anxiety, etc. on to the poor children - this stuff has a genetic component (runs in families, my dad has depression) and 3) I can barely take care of myself, never mind a child or two or three ...
How about you - why have you decided not to have children? Just curious!
As for the SS info you gave - I finally get it! Thanks for your patience in answering my questions. My OCD type question to KAR was that she said you had previously posted the website for SS, but I re-read your previous postings and can't find it so I'm wondering which of your earlier postings has the website mentioned in it!!?!!!!
Posted by Kar on March 22, 2002, at 2:37:46
In reply to BCat: re Kids and more! » BarbaraCat, posted by Janelle on March 22, 2002, at 1:46:27
Janelle- T'aint no big thang but this is where it was..
Re: BCat: a wee bit more questions (sorry): » Janelle
Posted by BarbaraCat on March 21, 2002, at 17:59:40I know what you mean about "hardly being able to take care of yourself" so how could you take care of kids...I think about it often- too much! Seems like it's taking so long to get back on the right track but I believe that I will have wee ones some day. In the meantime, I work (ha! "worked" would've been more appropriate there, wouldn't it...esp. in light of the current convo..) with toddlers and get/got my fill that way. Then I think, shit- it's gonna be hard with all the meds and the higher than normal threat for post-partum...My doc kicks ass and has done this many times with other women that are bipolar and on meds. Aaargh, time will tell. I can't believe I said that. I HATE that phrase, specially lately! :)
Kar
Posted by Kar on March 22, 2002, at 3:08:44
In reply to Significant Others » Kar, posted by BarbaraCat on March 21, 2002, at 19:58:30
BC- bless you for taking that time...this is one of those issues that no one but someone who's been through it can be of much help...my fiance has conveyed (nearly to the letter)the same feelings as your hub.
>
> We both agreed that the main component is love.Amen. But I still can't make peace with it-maybe it's the fact that I'm not carrying my end of the relationship. Then there's the money thing. It just feels a little weird because we're not married yet and HAD both been self-sufficient. But now I'm not contributing anything. And the money is really not a "situation"- but I want to be helping too. I guess it would be different if I were home taking care of a kid...
Am I going to be saddled with a big problem?'
Bingo- and I think he is!! He doesn't tho- he's confident that we'll get through it...just keeps telling me that he loves me and that's why he's here. He grabbed my face in his hands once and said, "Don't you know that you're what I've been waiting for so long? That means you- good or bad!" probably helps that I get twinkles here and there when I feel and seem my old self- he knows I'm still in here somewhere...
think we'll never get over it, but the other person doesn't necessarily see it that way at all.
I guess you're right...I always used to think he was just reassuring me (so self centered am I!) but I guess he does believe it.
he's been in a similar place and can relate.
Ok your hub sounds like the bomb! I do wonder how anyone could truly understand the situation when they hadn't lived it...you have that added "bonus" (for lack of a much much better term) with him.
pride in ourselves for being so courageous in the face of a horrendous illness.
How's you get so strong, BCat? You're words have really meant a lot to me- more than I can convey here. And your hub- well, I'm glad you have him (and that he has you!)
Where'd you get all the kitties? We have two and I agree- they are my kids now. I wish we could post pics here!
Signing off, with my tail out from under my legs and positioned vertically with a slight curve at the end...
(By the way, we're definitely gonna get sent to PSB- should we just do it?)
Thanks so much BC,
Kar
Posted by vicky on March 22, 2002, at 8:34:25
In reply to Social Security, posted by BarbaraCat on March 21, 2002, at 0:38:23
I was a lucky one, got ss in less than 3 months!
With no lawyer, no appeal.
I was hospitalized at a pcysch hospital for 1 week
for nervous breakdown (that helps)
and I had been seeing different pscyh docs for over
13 years (history).
I got ss in record time they say!! The happiest day of
my life was when I got approved. (Worked in a
chemistry lab for 15 years straight (high stress)
I'm on prozac, perphenazine, welbutrin, and buspar!
vicky
Posted by kiddo on March 22, 2002, at 9:42:57
In reply to Significant Others » Kar, posted by BarbaraCat on March 21, 2002, at 19:58:30
Hi-
I just read your post about your husband his being a gem was an understatement IMO. My husband wasn't supportive at all in the beginning, but has changed a lot.
Having someone that is supportive is so important and makes things much easier to deal with.
I just wanted to say that :-)
Kiddo
Posted by BarbaraCat on March 22, 2002, at 11:33:22
In reply to Re: Significant Others, posted by Kar on March 22, 2002, at 3:08:44
Hi Kar,
So glad I could lend a bit of hard earned words of experience. One other thing I thought of is - and this is hard- no matter how awful you feel about life or yourself, try not to take it out on your guy. That may be easier now than after you've been with him for a while. Sometimes when my hub does something that pushes my buttons big time and I'm in the midst of a bad one, I can be pretty nasty and below the belt mean. I think if there's anything another person will finally get fed up with is if they're getting treated like shit. WE've been to counseling and that helped alot (with HIS issues too - let's remember we're not the only humans with problems in the equation). As in any relationship, learning how to communicate is the key and it's not something we learn from school or our parents.Ahhh, my kitties, my little sweethearts. Most of them are feral, rescued from when we were involved with a feral cat spay/neuter organization. There is no more pure and heart-warming feeling that I know of than a cat who really loves you. I can't imagine my life without them. Kids just never happened for me and I do believe that it's for the best.
I'm all for moving on to PSB, how do you propose we do that so everyone else in our Pen Pal group gets notified? - Barbara
Posted by Kar on March 22, 2002, at 11:49:49
In reply to Re: Social Security, posted by vicky on March 22, 2002, at 8:34:25
Kudos, Vicky! I'm glad it's worked for you!
Kar
Posted by Kar on March 22, 2002, at 12:05:36
In reply to Re: Significant Others » Kar, posted by BarbaraCat on March 22, 2002, at 11:33:22
below the belt mean.
Good advice...actually my therapist has said that one of the things that probably makes it easier on Cave is the fact that when I get down, I lean towards the quiet, withdrawn side and never lash out. I'm a lot more fiesty when I feel good! :)
True what you say about communication. We just took Precana (don't know if you're familiar with that- it's like pre-wedding "counseling" required for Catholics). Well I thought it would be God this and God that- it was centered upon active listening and communication...we learned a lot. Score "one" for the Catholic church and believe me, I AM keeping score. Aargh.
Well crap, I was hoping you'd know how to "PSB" :D
I'll post something or look it up. Or we could throw in some medication issues and just keep our butts here! The thing is, what do you do when it's a mix?Kar
Posted by Kar on March 22, 2002, at 16:58:26
In reply to KAR: re your experience with SS: » Kar, posted by Janelle on March 22, 2002, at 0:31:06
Janelle- I wasn't turned down for S.S. Disability b/c of the lack of work credits, I just wasn't eligible to apply for it. What I was turned down for was SSI. They pretty much said that was all I could apply for. It was strange tho, because my rejection letter seemed to be based upon my "disability"...Eg. "We realize that your condition prevents you from doing your past job, but it does not prevent you from doing other work"...Which of course is bullshit, because when I'm bad I can't do anything. Yes I can "follow basic instructions and and act in my own interest" as they say, but I can't work. So there ya go...
Feeling crappy today- I have another week to go without any AD's because I'm getting back on Nardil...probably won't be writing much in the next few but will check in...
Hope you're doing ok-
Kar
Posted by Janelle on March 22, 2002, at 20:34:56
In reply to SSI stuff » Janelle, posted by Kar on March 22, 2002, at 16:58:26
Kar,
First, thank you so much for bearing with me and finding that thread where BCat had posted the SS website - it was buried in one of her paragraphs and wasn't written out as a URL that's why I kept missing it! It was bugging me out that I couldn't find it! I get that way sometimes. Thanks for not making fun of me!
As for SS, okay I get that you were not eligible to apply for SSDI (the disability one), but you DID apply for SSI? Interesting ... that's the one for low income people who can't work, and you have to have a reeeeeeeally low income.
Posted by Janelle on March 22, 2002, at 20:39:09
In reply to Re: Significant Others » Kar, posted by BarbaraCat on March 22, 2002, at 11:33:22
Hi Barbara - I posted a thread further above in response to your having asked me if kids are in my future (I explained the reasons why not) and I asked you why you decided not to have children? Just curious!
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