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Re: Are you scared of death?

Posted by alexandra_k on May 25, 2020, at 19:31:53

In reply to Re: Are you scared of death?, posted by alexandra_k on May 25, 2020, at 19:22:24

And I had encyclopedias and dictionaries. And my mother would encourage me to look things up. So I would ask 'why is the sky blue'?

And the encyclopedia had a section on that... And... I never asked again after that. I swears.

But I meant... When I look at something blue it looks a certain special way. ANd when I look at something yellow it looks a certain special other way. And it is possible (in some sense of possible) that when you look at something like the sky you have the experience that i have when i look at lemons. ANd when you look at lemons you have the experience that i have when i look at the sky.

And what I meant when I asked 'why is the sky blue' was why it looks the certain special way to me that it does... Instead of looking yellow.

qualia. phenomenology.

And still nobody knows what waves and particles have to do with it.

but maybe i don't understand *meanings*.. but seemed to me that they changed the question. didn't understand the question i asked. reading comprehension fail.... from somebody. for sure.

what i didn't learn was the pronounciation guide in the dictionary. saying works correctly was harder. my mother 'guesses' a lot of pronounciations wrong. too. and i guess sometime that is reflected in spelling.

i guess i am not afraid of dying becuase i don' tthink death is something that i will live through. i don't think there is anything that it is like to be on the other side of it. there is no through it... it is the cessation of experience. no more what it is like to be me. no more suffering. no more sadness. no more regret.

i regret that i couldn't accomplish more with my life. i feel sad. wasted potential. never allowed to accomplish anything. not allowed to achieve anything. constantly crying for basic needs. constantly turned back and denied and not allowed. never allowed. thats the story of my life.

but i guess all the pain and suffering associated witht aht will cease on my death.

somehow that makes it worse.




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