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Re: whack a mole

Posted by alexandra_k on June 2, 2019, at 17:21:55

In reply to whack a mole, posted by alexandra_k on June 2, 2019, at 17:09:57

we have our very own standards, you see.

i get failed out of first year population health (designed to be for 'first in family' university people) because they 'don't want a traditional essay' and they didn't ask me to reference properly they asked me to reference some different way because referencing properly is too hard. and they don't follow what i'm saying so that means that what i am saying doesn't follow and so on...

and it's all about 'how low can we go' when it comes to public health. who are the best of the public health degree people? do they get to be in charge of the nutrition programs and exercise programs and the like for the populations? we need to remember that the populations aren't very bright and these programs are targeted to the very dumbest and unhealthiest of all the people. looking after those people, ahem, targeting those people, public health is not for the healthy or the educated that would be inequitable!

and that is the party line that will see you passed.

and any suggestion that current approaches seem to be precisely what is entrenching inequalities will have me failed! because that is what it is to pick out your right hand man! you fail them and then they have no recourse except to follow you around all day crying 'i don't know what to do! it's too hard! write it for me! tell me what to write! please oh please oh please teach me because you know everything my soverign Lord and Master and i want nothing other than to hang off your arm for the next.. let's see... 2 more years to get throught the degree... only you failed me for compulsory courses first time around so maybe 3 more years... and then maybe you will give me good enough grades to scrape into the honours program... they will be terrible grades so i won't be able to switch into anything else... then another year of kissing up your *ss... only my stuff will get sent externally.... but externally in New Zealand so we are still all on the same page...

Eventually things go off overseas.

And we see: The New Zealand examiner says black is white and up is down. Everything is contestable. The New Zealand examiner don't got anything better to do than devote hour upon hour upon hour of misunderstanding and miscontruing and intentionally dragging things down.

f*ck*ng horrible people.

i mean...

how am i supposed to feel about any of this?

i am 40 years old and people will not let me go.

i think of Ronnie Coleman. 'Everybody wanna be a bodybuilder... But damn near nobody wanna lift those heavy *ss weights'. I think of chicken little 'who will help me sow the grain?'

I think of all these people jealous as f*ck at the thought that I might get to do Medicine. Why? Because they want to get to do it? If they want to get to do it then why don't they do the work to do it, then? Why don't they take some science courses (if they are employed by the University they can take those courses for free. They don't even have to get themselves into debt for it -- Like I f*ck*ng well did). It just turns out that they don't want to do it.

What they want is for me to stay hanging off their arm being Mother for them (the Mother they always wanted). For free. While not having any of the things that I need for my physical or psychological health.

People have this ideal of something that isn't psychologically plausible.

I guess they don't know how things work.

I f*ck*ng well resent that the world is about this above b*llsh*t crap.

All the energy and effort wasted... Destructive. Inability to focus on the right things.

If people love me why don't they let me have a way of life?

THey have their way of life.

THey should be happy I'm not after their way of life. There probably isn't room for the both of us.

Oh, yeah, I was just supposed to wait about them doing their work while they soak up all the money and spend it badly on garbage.

Biding my time until it's my turn to be them.

I'd rather be dead.




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