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Re: social anxiety/phobia - anyone else?

Posted by DC on June 13, 2003, at 16:17:42

In reply to Re: social anxiety/phobia - anyone else? » girlygirl, posted by WorryGirl on June 13, 2003, at 9:36:14

> > I've just heard of this thing called social anxiety (I live in the UK, docs don't bother to tell you about these things - it takes more than 5 mins). And I think that's my problem. More than depression (maybe it's even the cause of my depression!).
> >
> > All the way through school, university twice over and now my first job, I have been incapable of forming relationships with people or handling group situations, to the point that it gets so bad I can't cope with it anymore, get really paranoid and withdrawn and then just jack it all in and stop attending. I have never been able to have more than one friend at a time (apart from during 6th form, when I was a drug user, which solved all my problems for a while).
> >
> > I now work in a job which involves A LOT of talking to people and my success relies on the relationships I build with people (I didn't realise this when I started). And I am making a BIG mess. My boss really dislikes me cos I am just not a "team player" and I am getting to the point where I am sitting in the office holding back tears and wanting to kill myself because I feel like such an outcast.
> >
> > Does this sound familiar to anyone? Is this social anxiety (or social phobia)? How do you treat it?
> >
> > Aliceblue
>

>
> Hi Alice,
> Yes, I understand what you're going through. I have recently become better friends with someone and it has helped me a lot but I still struggle terribly in group situations.
>
> I think much of it is that some people just do not thrive in group situations; they do better one on one or in very small groups.
>
> I know there are medications to help, but I can't take them because of my recent BP diagnosis. Drugs like Paxil can make my mood swings even worse.
>
> I belive that Dinah stated somewhere that when in large group situations, she seeks out someone who looks even more uncomfortable than her, which makes things easier.
>
> Since joining this board, I am surprised and relieved to know how many others out there have social anxiety.
>
> You will always have friends here, and I have received so much great input. I hope things improve for you. If your job depends upon a lot of socialization maybe you could find out if there is a course or through therapy work on your social skills. Back when I was working I would've given anything to take a course like that, even though I am absolutely TERRIFIED of public speaking it could've really helped.
>
> Take care
>

Even though I am taking medication for my social
anxiety, it seems to be a bit better now. But,
quite honestly I think that I am genetically a
"loner" :-) Exactly how you stated it Worrygirl,
some just do better in smaller group surroundings.
But, why I say that I think it is a herederity
thing with me is because I recently started really
thinking about how most of my family are. I came
to the realization that almost all of them are
not that good with the whole "social" scene.
Especially my grandmother and uncle in the Keys,
whom I am the closest to. Who knows, maybe I did
inherit this "trait" :-)


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poster:DC thread:228801
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030604/msgs/233743.html