Posted by misty99 on March 1, 2002, at 7:44:10
Noa,
When I was doing a search of the archives in an attempt to find posts that answered some of my questions, I discovered one of yours that echoed my sentiments precisely. You said:
Beginning of exert:
In therapy, I have been working on accepting my illness as chronic, on bringing together these two lives I have led--the optimist who hopes/feels/wishes depression is in the past, and the desapairing depressive who feels life will never get any better and isn't worth living.It is hard, but I am learning to see both of these parts of myself as me, to not have the pendulum swing so drastically, to be able to move from depressed mood to non-depressed mood more fluidly and flexibly, to not have a bad moment signal the downward spiral, to not have to have the shadow of terror ruin my good days--terror of losing the progress, the hope.
End of exert:
How are you doing since that time? Are there any books you can recommend that do exactly what you're talking about? Therapy for me is a possible option but being unemployed makes it tough for me to consider.
Anyway, that's exactly how I feel when med problems start up again, the terror of losing the progress. I also think having LD/ADD complicates the situation because even our brains are erratic to begin with and then having to deal with pssible med failure is like dealing with gasoline on fire.
Maybe what I have to do when it happens again is to do immediate journaling and let myself express whatever negative feelings I have. I did that when I first realized I might be laid off from work and it helped immensely.
Then maybe I should focus on how I can maintain a transition period that would be reasonable until I get on the next med with hopefully the same success.
Any tips or insight you feel would be revelant are greatly welcomed. Same for the other social psychobable posters.
Misty
poster:misty99
thread:19048
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020223/msgs/19048.html