Posted by alexandra_k on December 28, 2016, at 22:14:42
In reply to Re: Why isn't nicotine gum used for mood disorders? » rjlockhart37, posted by Prefect on December 19, 2016, at 21:21:43
I think my personality changed when I quit smoking. Something changed in me, for sure.
But then, I guess something had to change in me in order for me to quit smoking, so it is hard to say what occurred first.
I became supersensitive to a bunch of things. Felt to me like nicotine had served to dampen or kill my response to a bunch of irritants... Or... Had served as a fixation point. I could pinpoint smoking as the source of all my harms / ills / hurts...
When I quit smoking a bunch of things started to irritate me whereas prior to that... Smoking was the greatest source of irritation in my life.
I became irritated by noises around me, smells, etc... It was like my senses woke up.
I suppose there might be a rebound period where things are hyper-sensitised...
But really... I think it was a wake-up call for me. I figured... My environment... Lots of aspects of my environment... Weren't working for me. The environment needed to change in order for me to be a happy healthy functional person...
Sometimes people don't seem to know what is good for them. Or... They don't think they have the power to obtain it... Or... They can't face it for whatever reason. Maybe it is different for you... But smoking was some kind of a mask for me. It was also... Blaming myself for things. Everything was bad because I smoked. Now... I externalise a great deal more.
Maybe it's unrealistic or delusional or something. But really my greatest peace has been in coming to think that... That's just what other people have encouraged me to believe because I'm more controllable when I'm being kicked down. Really...
It has helped me come to peace.
Smoking... Well, it's sort of like a sugar addiction on your mood. Predictable high and then predictable low 20 minutes later. It's a way of dulling or numbing yourself to your environment. Internal control over it all. Unaffected by the world. Out of touch with it. Removed. Non-responsive to it. Which... Depending on your environment (and power to affect change to it) might be prefereable....
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1093563
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20161215/msgs/1093728.html