Posted by lepus on July 2, 2011, at 13:36:16
After a horrible stay in the hospital I have to start Emsam on my own. Very nervous about it. Any encouraging words? FB?
I can't believe the state of psychiatric care. I thought I was so lucky to get a hospital bed. But no, it was like winning the lottery in a Shirley Jackson book. My meds were always late (not good with Klonopin). The way they dealt with my severe agoraphobia was to tell me that I would not get food or my meds unless I could walk to the nurse's station and cafeteria. If I had panic and had to retreat then too bad - I won't be eating that meal. I went without breakfast and lunch more than once. My meds they only threatened to not give me; it never happened, except the first morning when my Klonopin was horribly late, sending me into withdrawal symptoms. One night I had a terrible panic attack. I rang the nurse. She yelled at me for using the call button. I said I'm having a terrible panic attack, I can't walk to the nurse's station, please get me my Ativan. She did. The Ativan didn't work so I rang her again. More yelling and then she told me there was nothing she could do for me and left. She left a shaking, sobbing person there to deal with the attack completely alone. She wouldn't even get me ice water.
I checked myself out yesterday. Using the threat of no food or meds unless you can get places is just cruel. Worst of all they did nothing to help me get to these places. Didn't walk with me, nothing. Just yelled. In one day I was supposed to go from being totally agoraphobic to being able to move about anywhere with ease when nothing had changed; no new meds, no new therapy, nothing. Just threats of no food and no meds unless I magically cured myself.
I'm so despondent right now. Then the fear of taking the Emsam isn't helping. I feel like God, and even man, has completely abandoned me.
poster:lepus
thread:989991
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110630/msgs/989991.html