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Re: Impending doom -need support » jerryTRD

Posted by ace on December 7, 2010, at 1:21:43

In reply to Impending doom -need support, posted by jerryTRD on December 6, 2010, at 20:52:31

> Since Thanksgiving I've just been going downward as far as mood goes. I've been much more depressed with some suicidal ideation at times. My anxiety is horrible and I constantly feel a sense of impending doom along with a lot of obsessive anticipatory anxiety.

I can empathize and I am sorry to here this.


> I see my pdoc tomorrow and I'm literally having panic attacks about seeing him and I'm not sure why.

Can you speculate why?

He's a good doctor and usually listens to me but sometimes I feel as if I don't get him to understand how horrible I feel.

Some people who are extremely depressed appear very happy. It's called 'reaction formation'. Sometimes we run around with a big smile and all jokes while we are feeling like hell within.

Express to him your feelings and the fact that you feel he may not understand your sense of despair.


> My meds (as I've posted before)
> Adderall - helps tremendously except for the crashes after it wears off
> Lexapro - not sure it's doing anything
> Effexor - think it was helping at the higher dosage (my doc was gonna switch me from Effexor to Lexapro)
> Klonopin -helps a little
> Seroquel - when I finally get to sleep on it, it makes me want to sleep for the next week and sometimes I do sleep for 2-3 days!!


That's a lot of medications. Too many IMO.


Which means a lot of interactions. Which makes things awfully confusing. What is helping? what is hindering? what is causing the s/effects?
Polypharmacy is all the rage these days, but i am not sure it is really helping.

The very medications you are taking and/or their interactions could be accountable for your symptoms.


> I'm horribly anxious right now and have no one to talk to.

No. You have us to talk to. Even though it is over a computer.

I'm afraid my pdoc is gonna throw up his hands and tell me he can't treat me because my depression is so resistant.

Well, you are paying this MD, right?
You are paying for a service here. And even if he/she did this, plenty others out their.


>
> I'm also very depressed and need a boost somehow. I don't know what to do.

This is what you should do IMO: Be extremely gentle with yourself at the moment. Let your FAMILY know the honest truth of how you feel and if possible have them near you. If you have the energy, write down a list of what you need to sort out in your life. Prioritize this list.
Do not put pressure on yourself now. I think your role now is to only be concerned about your own well-being.

And keep keeping on. I will tell you that brighter days are on their way my friend. They MUST be. keep that thought in mind. And keep us all abreast of your situation.


> Any support is appreciated
> Jerry

Peace,
Ace


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