Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 29, 2009, at 20:52:08
Hello,
I told someone that i would not post for while, because it was just a trial. I just can't, i have to blog because of this depression. Let me descibe it, for about a couple of hours you feel that everything in your life has gone downhill, and it's absolute agony to even be a awake, because of severe episodes of depression. Then, a little bit later, a cup of Coffee, and it improved some things. At least the fact of being awake was "tolerable", see what get's me is when these episodes come, there are suicdal feelings, but i'm never going to act on them, and plus it just show's integrity that your getting stronger throught the worst depression episodes. And, that means you can handle situations that are awful to endure because, you have already been thought it inside. Right now, I feel "back" to a normal state.
What is important is getting back on Stimulant medication, I already take Nuviguel (Provigel) yet it does not act on nuerotransmitters, much, coffee act's more on dopamine transporter a bit better than Nuviguel, now it does defintly provide a "wakefulness" and "awake" feeling, it doesnt help much with "cognitive" function. It helps with stablization of mood. I'm on Wellbutrin and Prozac, and i'm grateful that the doctor decided to this. What I need to tell, is just "depression" episodes, that get so bad, you don't want to be around anyone because...the "indepth" suffering, from hopelessness (which is learned) no one can help, you don't won't help for that period of time because it can't be achieved (in a belief system), it's like having 200 lbs dumbell around your foot, in pool of molasses, you can move but it takes so much energy to move just a "bit". If I was in the military, I would have write a psychiatrist about this, because I don't know how well I could keep up, collapse?
What I do know that works, it's a controlled substance, is Dexedrine Spansules, they provided the most effective relief from this 100 lbs feeling, it creates a "mental boost" for a period of time until they where off, which is usally around 9pm and you have to go thought rebound, but it is much better than this depression that is going on.
What should I tell my doctor? I don't see him for another 5 weeks, and I feel, i have to call and tell what's going on, and what that does is annoy's the staff when you have too much, 'reminders'. He put me on Wellbutrin, and the first day it had it's bad side effect's yet i'm trying to let it work up to where maybe it will give some Cognitive boost, because it's a dopamine reuptake inhibitor (with weak properties). It act's more on NE than DA. What should I tell him about this? One thing, my mother does not like spansules, any stimulant in gereral, exept caffine (which majority of the population consumes).
Could you give me any advice of what you see this? what should be done?
Thanks
poster:rjlockhart04-08
thread:919048
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090921/msgs/919048.html