Posted by UgottaHaveHope on August 15, 2007, at 10:21:02
In reply to Re: NARDIL is a miracle drug and saved my life » UgottaHaveHope, posted by KayeBaby on August 15, 2007, at 8:17:45
Thanks everyone for your kind words.
I wrote that late at night, and if I had to make some changes, it would be this: What medicine that works for you may not work for me, and what medicine works for me may not work for you.
BUT I can assure that there is some med out there, be it Nardil, Prozac or (you name it) that will help you. It is just a matter of hanging in there with hope, being willing to try new meds, staying on those meds long enough to see if they work (usually 6-12 weeks), and then be willing to start all over if they don't. I know, it is a brutal process, and it took me 10 years to find something that helped. But I'm telling you, all that I went through over that long period is worth it now.
So I really don't want this post to be about Nardil, but rather to encourage others to have hope. To try the new drugs OR old drugs OR a combination of both - ALL under the supervision of your pdoc.
And what about those 10 years? Now that I feel good, am I angry that I felt bad during the years that many feel are the "prime" of your life? The answer was yes, but now it is most definitely NO.
I really think there was a reason I was destined to go through this pain and suffering. For starters, if you would have told me at the age of 25 that emotional illnesses exist, I would have laughed at you and said "only in your head." Boy I was humbled in that area of my life. I got smacked down unlike any other. I hit the lowest of lows. It forced me to dig deep on many life issues, including spiritual stuff I had never wanted to face, and totally changed my perspective of everything. I mean, everything.
Believe it or not, I now look back at my long 10 years of being ravaged by anxiety as a good thing. Or that is how I have chosen to see it. I have chosen to focus on the positive rather than the negative. And the positive is after going through all of that (and it may happen again), it instilled such a compassion for others who are also dealing with similar issues. I may not know exactly how you feel, but I know how I felt and I did not like it.
When you get out into the world, it is stunning with how many other people are dealing with stuff like this. In fact, if it is the only thing I have learned about life, it is that "everybody is dealing with something." Mine might be GAD (generalized anxiety disorder), yours might be depression, his might be Bipolar II, hers might alcoholism, that person may have a drug problem, this person may have no self esteem because they were emotionally abused as a child, this other person may have a masters degree yet not be able to sustain a job, another may be a workaholic and not pay any attention to their family, someone may not be able to maintain any relationships (friends or romantic), etc. I could go on and on.
And when you think about all of that, you realize you are not alone. And when you realize you are not alone, you realize you are not alone, which changes everything. You know there are others going through the same type of stuff. Some have handled it better than others, and those some are the ones you try to model yourselves after. You can find those "ones" at a group meeting for a certain type of emotional illness, or on a message board like this, or through a random conversation. Chances are, there is someone you know very well that is dealing with some of the same stuff, but you may have never realized it. Yet. Maybe events will occur for you to bring up the issue in passing and then you have found a support person where you never thought you would have found a support person. I don't know, you just have to see what path life takes you.
Thank gosh meds were invented. And, perhaps equally as importantly, this message board was created. I stayed on this thing for 24/7 for years. I learned so much, and it really helped me think outside of the box about what meds may or may not help me. I just was absolutely amazed with how many people were willing to share the intimate details of their challenges in life in such great detail. That is what motivated me. Someone may have written 1,000 words, but there may have been two sentences that had some information that empowered or encouraged me. That is what I looked for and often found. And again, I am forever grateful for those who put themselves "out there" and were willing to tell it all for the greater good of all in here. There are so many like that, that I don't even know who to begin thanking.
Let me go back to the meds to finish this post: Again, I don't know whether or not Nardil or (insert med here) is the answer for you, I just know there is a medicine that is an answer for you.
Please continue posting your uncensored thoughts, perspectives on your own situation and the medicines you are taking because there are a ton of people in here who can help you or offer perspectives. I would not take anything as the total truth, just because every med affects everyone differently. But I would take it as information that would help me think "outside of the box" and make me consider trying other things, under the supervision of my pdoc.
As much as I hate to admit it, when I read of the success stories of other here in the past, it bothered me. I wanted to know why they were well and I wasn't well, and I had searched so long to be well. So if you feel the same way, I understand and it is perfectly OK. My heart goes out to you, that is only a natural feeling, considering the circumstances. I feel your frustration.
Thanks again for everyone in PBabble for responding to my zillion questions and having patience with me. I am forever indebted. Michael
poster:UgottaHaveHope
thread:776354
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070815/msgs/776383.html