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Re: To Blueberry » deniseuk190466

Posted by blueberry1 on January 5, 2007, at 23:04:15

In reply to To Blueberry, posted by deniseuk190466 on January 5, 2007, at 12:24:04

Yeah, I feel slow. Kind of foggy and blurry in the brain. I wonder if ECT did permanent damage?

I work as a Department Manager at a store. When I feel half normal (seldom) it is an easy and fun job. 90% of the time I am so weighted down it is very very hard. It is an escape. I hate days off. Days off give me a chance to reflect on just how bad I feel and then I get even worse.

On a 1-10 scale, with 0 being perfect and 10 being suicidal, I am usually in the 8-9 range. I have been a 10 several times and always feel like I am right on the edge of it.

Medications. One week on 25mg amisulpride. Just went to 50mg today. It worked pretty good for me 10 years ago when combined with prozac (back in the good ole pre-ECT days), so I have no idea how it will work now or by itself. If I need a sleep aid I take benadryl 25mg. I only used it once and it knocked me out like zyprexa used to do. I got a great response my first day on amisulpride, probably that dopamine rush, and it hasn't done much since.

Today I actually put away some dried laundry, did a couple more loads of laundry and hung them up, cooked for the kids, vacuumed the living room, cleaned up some clutter. It was quite an effort, but I must admit that doing all that in the last few months has been impossible. Not sure if it is a one-day wonder from upping my dose and it won't last (happens a lot with me), or whether I might actually be on a path to getting a little better. I'm afraid to think about it. My hopes have been shattered so many times.

> Sorry Blueberry, just saw your other post on ECT and it obviously has affected you for the worst, cognitively.
>
> Are you working? What medication are you on now? and how would you rate your depression on a scale of 1 to 10?
>
> Thanks....Denise


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