Posted by LlurpsieBlossom on January 1, 2007, at 19:06:34
In reply to i too take seroquel, posted by Jeroen on January 1, 2007, at 14:21:48
The original poster is of the female persuasion lol.
I take 300 mg of seroquel at night, when I also take 120 mg of cymbalta (which makes my heart pound within an hour of dosage, and yet also makes me fall into cataleptic nappy stupor every afternoon. Hence 200mg of provigil in the am.
Once upon a time (now some 8 months ago?) I had a very classic presentation of severe depression. Some mild hallucinations, of course the usual delusions of self-disgustingness and anhedonia and hopelessness and plenty of intention to kill or maim myself given the opportunity (and somehow the world was my ... opportunity...)
thats when I lost 5 pounds from not eating (no appetite) and waking up 3 or 5 hours early night after night was not so good for my psyche either. pdoc put me on 60 mg cymbalta, then 90. also seroquel 25 mg to help me sleep.
Then my case got a little more complicated... now anti-depressed, I was having intrusive thoughts (waking nightmares) of the sort frequently chronicled in R-rated movies involving¨(domestic) violence... and nightmares. and distractions of ill-portent. And some flashbacks of scenes from my preverbal days. Yes. the infant mind is a plastic organ, but given enough trauma, even some early events can be scarred into a form of memory.
Hence 300mg of seroquel. And my moods stabilized from having these flashbacks followed by a day or so of dissociation and feeling out-of-body... to being mildly depressed. and then I upped cymbalta to 120 mg. Told pdoc about the anxiety attacks (related to flashbacks, or over-sensitivity to environmental triggers) and I also got klonopin .5mg as needed.
And I got a new diagnosis post-traumatic stress disorder. yep. I graduated from major depression to PTSD.
So, I´d like to continue the work I´m doing in therapy right now, which is talking about how my parents and siblings contributed to feelings of powerlessness and self-hatred. I´d like to continue exploring the effect that violence has on me, and to figure out what my role was in the family, and how I can stop perpetuating a cycle of powerlessness, passive aggression and learned helplessness.
I am also talking about this stuff for the first time with my parents and siblings. It´s incredibly difficult. I fall into the mode of wanting to die sometimes, and not all of my coping mechanisms are things that I´m able to sustain.
So, I´m concerned about the weight gain, you bet. I also need something to keep the anxious ruminating voices out of my head. The ones that say things like ´´you stupid loser, how could you say that, you are worthless, what you did was so shameful´´ or worse, the intrusive feelings that I am paralysed, disembodied, amputated, etc. These thoughts and feelings have disappeared 95% since taking seroquel at 300mg dose.
thank you all for your thoughtful responses. I´m not sure that I´m motivated enough to go to the gym 4 times a week. I can try to do better on my diet, but seroquel does give me munchies for sweets. That i cannot deny. And of course, eating is one of my coping mechanisms. bummer, huh?
oh as far as anti-psychotics are concerned, I have family history of paranoid (super psychotic) schizophrenia, and one of my siblings was hospitalized for a while with psychosis during bipolar depression. I have a lot of self-control though. I´m not sure that I would allow myself to go that direction were I in trouble. I would probably just try to shrink myself to a dot and stop breathing. after I pass out a few times I usually give up and go to bed.
LlurpsíeBlosçom
poster:LlurpsieBlossom
thread:717652
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070101/msgs/718333.html