Posted by deniseuk190466 on August 7, 2006, at 10:27:54
In reply to Re: Hit a brick wall - What to do next, advice please? » Deniseuk190466, posted by Crazy Horse on August 3, 2006, at 10:58:49
Hi,
Well most psychiatrists seem to be of the agreement that my diagnosis is mild chronic depression with major depression on top. I don't suffer from atypical depression as it doesn't matter what is going on in my life the depression still feels the same and the symptoms are the same.
I get a lot of agitation with my depression and a sense of restlessness all the time, at the same time I feel very apathetic. I experience very little pleasure out of life and tend to withdraw from people if I can.
Like I said in my previous note antidepressants using to work amazingly for me. This time round though they haven't, 40mg of Seroxat did seem to help about 3 years ago but stopped working over a year ago.
I get a lost of annoying sensations in my spine and the back of my neck, my jaw is constantly tight but I sleep fairly well but never wake up feeling refreshed.
The only tab I can rely on (now anyway) is Zyprexa and that does seem to lift my mood but I just don't get why antideppressants don't work for me anymore. I never experienced tolerance on them when my depression started up again 5 years ago because 3 years before when I came off Seroxat it was still working really well. I don't get these tests they are now doing to match peoples genes to their reactions to drugs because as far as I know my genes are still the same but my reaction to normal Ads are still the same.
There seem to be so many choices. Today I'm thinking well maybe I should have a year Seroxat break and just take Zyprexa every seven days then hopefully the Seroxat might work again (be it not completely) in a years time. Or maybe I should try Remeron and Effexor, or maybe I should add Remeron to the Seroxat but then what's the point of adding Remeron to Seroxat if the seroxat is no longer working. Or maybe I should try ECT but then what if I tried ECT and then it somehow stopped even Zyprexa from working. I guess part of the symptoms of depression are indecisiveness and right now I'm just typing out on paper what is going through my head. I just hate all of this trial and error stuff and psychiatrists who try to suggest that there is any method in all of this. There istn't any method and I don't believe it should take five weeks to know whether or not a drug is working.
I'm fairly certain that people who stick it out and say it took five weeks for it to work, must have had windows of happiness where they got a gut feeling that it was going to work before the five weeks or so were up.
With me everytime an AD has worked I've felt it working within days. I wish the dr would just give me a prescription pad so I could do weekly experiments with anything and everything.
It annoys me when people say they're scared to try MAOIs because of the dietry restrictions because I can't help feeling if you felt that bad and suicidal you would be prepared to try anything (within reason).
Anyway, sorry to ramble on(I bet you wish you'd never asked :-)) but I'd really appreciate any advice you have to give and hearing your experiences, as long as you don't suggest I try alternative therapies, hypnosis, reiki and the rest of the stuff that only works (I'm fairly sure) as a placebo or if you've got some underlying issue that needs to be brought out in the open.
Denise
poster:deniseuk190466
thread:672035
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060802/msgs/674504.html