Posted by Myrk on August 4, 2006, at 13:24:48
I am gloriously AD/HD. Been able to "power" through it most of my childhood and adult years, getting almost entirely though college without medication or cognitive excersizes. Now, whether or not I am was decided by my pdoc after an EEG (dunno if this was just a test to make me think she could detect it, but whatever).
Anyway, I'm told that my descion making is off. Way off. I live for the moment, not giving a crap about tomarrow. Computers and video games are my outlet, which I am told stimulates a section in my brain that is usually dormant due to the AD/HD.
I was given Adderall XR (20mg/day) for all of this. At first, it really worked! I actually /enjoyed/ studying for the first time in a LONG time. I'd finish my chores, dinner, whatever, simply to hop onto a good book to calm me and center me. I was doin great, and took about 10 pages of notes before I called it a night. I was feeling fantastic, though a bit edgy from the energetic "high" Adderall was giving me.
After about a week, the Depakote that I was taking at the same time seemed to take over. I was starting to really feel the Lethargy, and just dragging throughout the day. So, like a freaking moron, I decided to fix this problem myself. I took two doses of my Adderall in one day, 4 hours apart. 20mg at 10am, 20mg at 2pm. I went into work and bam, I was feeling just as good as I was the first few days I took this drug. It was awesome, I was on top of the ball, remembering everything, getting back to customers, etc.
The next day, though, same lethargic feeling. So I decided the Depakote had to go - It was mainly used to combat the side-effect of "manic episodes", which I really wasn't afraid of (especially since a freakin manic episode would do me good right about now...).
I cut off the 500mg/day depakote, but for some reason... I was still lethargic. I shared this with my pdoc (not the double-doses, though) and she said "let's try 30mg for a month". 30mg is nothing. So a few days after being on 30mg, I made another bad descion (in retrospect). I took one of the old 20mg the same day I took a 30mg, brining it to grand total of 50mg in one day. Again, I felt good and focused without any real side-effects. But I decided not to repeat that, since I'm no real doctor, and continue on the 30mg.
I'm still tired, still unorganized, still not focused. My studies fall and actually last night I made a descion irrationally that could influence my entire college career. Negatively.
Just need some help here as to what I should share with my doc and what I shouldn't. I know that the Adderall is a VERY controlled substance, and anyone with a history of abuse is quickly denied scripts to it. I don't want this to happen to me.
--Myrk....
poster:Myrk
thread:673660
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060802/msgs/673660.html