Posted by HKristina on January 9, 2006, at 12:57:06
Hello.
I was diagnosed as ADD when I was 19... and have been on ritalin since. I was the type of student that either made an A or an F. I have always procrastinated and I seem to quit just about everything.
I started having panic attacks when I was 20. They were constant. I believed I had a brain tumor, or other ailment that would cause instant death. My Primary Care Doc told me I was a Hypochondriac. I did some research and learned that a high dose of SSRI could help. 200mg of Zoloft took it away, and it has never returned.However, I did become a fat zombie within a year. I had been skinny all my life before that. My family insisted I was depressed. I would say it was more pure apathy. I watched TV. I was still very hopeful about coming out of the smog. About 3 years later, I went off the Zoloft. I felt better. Lost all the weight. Started exercizing.
Within a year, I was so completely hyperfocused in some weird love triangle, and too anxious to get out. I started drinking, and was pretty much a crazy (I mean that pretty much literally) drunk for a good year after.
Something is wrong with me. I have had typical panic disorder. Then I have a substance abuse problem. Now I am very depressed. I am apathetic, not able to experience pleasure, unmotivated, lethargic, I feel defective, I have sleep disturbances, (my weight is oddly increasing again though I don't eat that much)... My affect in the past is gregarious, though I had horrible social anxiety as a child. I was a model in NYC. I could paste on a smile despite what was going on inside. I have always lived in my head very much.... but it always wasn't a bad place to be. Now it's driving me nuts. I'm 33 years old now, barely functioning, and desperately wanting relief.
Another thing, I've always been extremely disorganized.
I went on Cymbalta 3 weeks ago, and found some relief. I am taking 60 mgs. My primary care doctor just added Lamitcal, but I am still taking only 25 mg. I've only been on it three days, but it seems to be making me anxious.
I guess I am looking for a diangosis. In the past, I can be very playful, full of energy, but I've never slept with strangers (unless drunk), or did other manic-type of behavior.
I have a good IQ, I am physically healthy, yet I can't seem to function or accomplish anything.
Does anybody have a clue as to what could be wrong with me?
Thank you.
Heather
poster:HKristina
thread:597152
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060108/msgs/597152.html