Posted by 4mygrls on June 27, 2004, at 11:35:53
started out on trileptal a couple years back. but that was only a month trial. i still had some major agitation at pms time. agitation, inability to handle stress and major anger that feels like it's coming from the inside is my major problem.major depression follows. i always thought it was severe pms. though i now think i have that too. i was dx as bipolar ll awhile back and recently as bipolar nos. when i tried the trileptal i had the pms breakthrough and the trileptal made me feel so flat. it bugged me that something i would normally get pissed off about didn't bother me at all. i've never been one to let things roll off my back. anyhow, while i was on trileptal i read about topomax. since weightloss was a side affect i thought hey, why not take that one and kill two birds with one stone. but my reaction to the topomax was disasterous. i was so agitated and even got to the point of suicidal. it deffinatly made my brain shut down too. the pdoc acted shocked that i was acting like that and said it wasn't the med. i dumped him and went to a new pdoc. i was eventually put on lamictal. guess what happened? not as bad as the topomax but once again it happened. now the doc tried lithium. i'm on a very low dose of 300mg a day. right now i'm severely depressed. the past week i've been severely agitated. nothing went right. i hate my life. what's the use? nothing works. i don't want to be on the lithium cuz even on this low dose i'm dehydrated and i'm drinking lots of liquids. i don't think there is a mood stabilizer i can take. has anyone had these reactions to mood stabilizers? too be honest, i want off the lithium. the side i have read seem to be worse then my illness. this really sucks. i'm a mess all of the time. oh, and i just got the blood work you're suppose to have while on lithium. that put me back $100.00+. this is crazy. i feel like dissapearing. i would leave if i had the gutts to. but i'm too chicken of living on the streets. i have no way to suport myself.i hate life. why did god bother giving me life? there's no point or reason for me?
poster:4mygrls
thread:360969
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040627/msgs/360969.html