Posted by 1313 on October 21, 2003, at 1:31:31
I need someone to talk to! I have discovered that I have lost all of my friends because they think I am mean and thoughtless and worst of all deliberate. They seem to pretend nothing is wrong but I know that is not true because they act different around me!!! I wish I knew how to have them like me again but I am afraid they never will:( I do not know why I acted so poorly except to say that I have schizophrenia and I lost touch with my real feelings. I do NOT expect them to ever tell me who said what or why. I just want back my self-respect. I want to be able to look myself in the mirror again. I just want to be a good citizen if this is still possible. I cannot discuss this with anyone because all they will do is make the situation worse. This cannot be medicated away (I already tried that)(3times)I am finding it very hard to believe that anything that happens to me is real or that I even deserve to be believed about anything!!I had many goals when I left the hospital and they are all gone because I can no longer function the way society wants and I am not sure I know what I want....I am not suicidal I just need some advice on where I am going wrong....I just came out of 4 months in the hospital and I find I am back at square one please advise.....
poster:1313
thread:271335
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031015/msgs/271335.html