Posted by Mookie on September 24, 2003, at 12:25:27
I’ve been through nearly every med in the book and just can’t seem to find the right combination. About fifteen years ago I went to pdoc because I was depressed, sleeping all the time, hyper-reactive to insult, and obsessive.. (I’ve had hypersomnia for as long as I can remember) I had an avoidant personality and was extremely social phobic. To self medicate I drank, smoked and used caffeine…a lot. Alcohol did wonders for me to get me to actually speak to other people and socialize normally. The nicotine and caffeine would keep me awake. Over the years, I went through trials of all of the tricyclics, then paxil, prozac, zoloft finally settling on celexa. My increased use of Alcohol eventually landed me in a treatment program. I’ve been sober ever since (4years) A pdoc in rehab added low dose risperdal to my celexa. The risperdal helped a lot with my obsessive thinking. But the combination still left me sleeping all the time and unable to work. After a while I was diagnosed with ADD and was given stimulants. At first the (stimulants worked wonders as they so often do) I was more productive, was able to read and understand things better and eventually landed a great job thanks to my new stimulant induced abilities. This went so well for couple of months but eventually the stimulants (60mg adderall a day) stopped working as well. More importantly the stimulants made me even less social. I could focus on projects for long hours at a time and ignore the world. Stimulants would also make me even more obsessive. If I had work to do this obsessiveness came in handy. I would focus on a project so intensely that my work became truly exceptional. However whenever I was not working my obsessiveness just drove everyone around me nuts. Recently I convinced my pdoc to get me off the stimulants and try nardil. I was so hoping that nardil would be the answer ive been waiting for all my life, but after 8 weeks on it, it has fell short of my expectations. The nardil worked wonders for my personality. I feel less obsessive,(so much so I stopped taking the risperdal.) I’m happier. I now eat lunch and socialize with my coworkers and I’m generally more fun to be around. The only problem (and it’s a significant one) is that I can’t work. I can’t seem to concentrate and focus like I did on stimulants. I haven’t completed one task since I’ve been on the nardil. I feel as if I’m going to be smiling all the way to the unemployment line. I’ve tried without my pdocs knowledge to add a little stimulant to the nardil. I would take a miniscule dose and check my blood pressure every hour. But even tiny 2-3mg of adderall raised my BP enough that I had to abandon that idea. So here’s my problem how do I stay awake, social, un-obsessed, focused and productive all at the same time. It seems that my choices are to be focused, anti-social, obsessed and productive or happy, social, unproductive and unemployed. Any ideas?
poster:Mookie
thread:262950
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030923/msgs/262950.html