Posted by lady fever on April 13, 2003, at 4:09:00
Hey everybody, I haven't posted in awhile, posted awhile ago, was having some depression problems, and trouble finding a doctor. I tried Celexa for 2 weeks, with some luck, and then my samples ran out.
Today, I realized I was starting to feel completely nuts. I've been staying online for days and days, I can't seem to go anywhere, it's hard to explain HOW I feel, just, irritated, disinterested in things, anhedonia, and everything is abrasive.
And then I flipped out and broke every single thing in the entire bathroom, and shattered all these antiques, and I broke the door with my fists, and then I throw half my things out the second story window, including several thousand dollars worth of jewelry, which is still sitting in the mud outside. I tried to call my favourite old county mental health, they told me to see a doctor, which I've not been able to find, and I keep spacing out to hard to remember to find. I can't remember much why I flipped out, though I recall throwing things until I was physically tired. I was dx'ed with intermittent explosive disorder once, but dunno, nothing set me off. I feel like that all the time these days.
Been sleeping a lot. Not eating at all. Sleeping maybe 16 hours a day. I have no idea what's going on around me, I'm in a daze, I can't snap out of it, everything is completely horribly abrasive...
What's up with going crazy with these rages? I now live alone. My ex came over to get our son and just shook his head at me and I asked him for help and he left. I took my sleeping pills and am going to bed for the night. Tomorrow I need to do something, but don't know what.
I feel like I have no regular emotion but at the same time, am filled with strange ones.
poster:lady fever
thread:218959
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030411/msgs/218959.html