Posted by Ron Hill on July 14, 2002, at 9:55:19
In reply to Who I am, posted by Shawn. T. on July 14, 2002, at 2:59:37
Hi Shawn,
You sound like a very caring and sensitive person. However, in your post you sound like a person that may be in a manic state. Are you currently seeing a pdoc? How much are you sleeping these days? What is your dx and what meds are you currently taking?
I'm not a pdoc. However, I am bipolar so I have personal experience with mania. Your writing sounds like you could possibly be manic. Have any of your friends or family noticed any changes in your behavior?
If I didn't care I wouldn't post this message to you. I'm on your side.
-- Ron
--------------------------> http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&list_uids=11870016&dopt=Abstract
>
> Cool, I take that.
>
> Thanks,
> sthomas@adams.net
> Shawn Thomas
> 736 Ridgewood Dr.
> Quincy, IL 62301
>
> You have all helped change the world. You all deserve a pat on the back. Each and every one of you is an amazing person.
>
> I have some things to say that don't require any references to back it up (okay, one). Do not self medicate! I apologize for any lack of basic human compassion shown by myself; I will try to be more careful in the future. Go to someone with credentials; tell them to visit this site and the faq beforing seeing you. They'll hear about all of this sooner or later. My history of drug abuse has perhaps made me a bit reckless. I can't prove that, however. I'm only twenty years old; I'm not the wisest person in the world. I respect the wisdom of the advice from anyone my elder with regards to any of the information that I have provided.
>
> I urge everyone to get their hormone levels checked out. If it's okay for doctors to prescribe SSRI monotherapy, it's okay for me to try to debunk that idea. Science isn't about claiming absolute truth. I hold the postmodernist view that absolute truth cannot be known. I feel that we are no longer living in a modern world; this is a postmodern world. I love science and the methods behind it. I chose to use this forum based on the wisdom of Plato's dialectecal method.
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> I am strongly influenced by Richard Tarnas's The Passion of the Western Mind: Understanding the ideas that have shaped our world view. He states,
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> "Faced with such a differentiated and problematic intellectual situation, thoughtful individuals engage the task of evolving a flexible set of premises and perspectives that would not reduce or suppress the complexity and multiplicity of human realities, yet could also serve to mediate, integrate, and clarify. The dialectical challenge felt by many is to evolve a cultural vision possessed of a certain intrinsic profundity or universality, that while not imposing any a priori limits on the possible range of legitimate interpretations, would yet somehow bring an authentic and fruitful coherence out of the present fragmentation, and also provide a sustaining fertile ground for the generation of unanticipated new perspectives and possibilities in the future. Given the nature of the present situation, however, such an intellectual task appears surpassingly formidable -- not unlike having to string the great Odyssean bow of opposites, and then send an arrow through a seemingly impossible multiplicity of targets."
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> What a visionary statement!
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> In the name of science, I have remained anonymous to prevent any bias by those who replied to my comments. I will go to jail for my beliefs, but only if they have the internet.
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> I am twenty years old. I have completed two years of computer science coursework at the University of Illinois at Chicago. I dropped out the past two semesters because of my dysthmia being thrown into major depression. I have gone from attempting suicide by heroin overdose to crying tears of joy tonight. I should also mention that I've always been afraid of fame. I am a very private individual. I have never felt good about myself until my psychiatrist, Dr. Scott Wright, put me on Remeron and changed my life overnight.
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> I have always been someone who strives for achievement. In the spring of last year, I lost my will to succeed. I gave up on life. I failed the first class in my life because I was too depressed to go to school. I lived in the dorms on a campus that is overwhelming populated with commuters. My fear of failure transformed into major depression. I couldn't deal with it. I'm not even sure if my parents know I dropped out last fall. I didn't bother to even file an official withdrawal from the university. I cared about nothing; nothing meant not much of anything. I transferred to the Illinois Institute of Technology this spring. They didn't accept the loan that I'd tried so hard to obtain to go to college that year. I didn't receive the loan because I had not been living at my address for long enough. I had been paying for all of my bills with a credit card, hoping to pay them off when I received my loan. The loan fell through, and I lost control. I wanted to die.
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> I feel so much better today; I eagerly await tomorrow. I gave a prophetic salutatorian speech when I graduated from high school. I told them how wonderful of a future awaited them. I told them not to let anyone walk on their happiness. I received a standing ovation. That was all before I became afflicted with major depression.
> I had received a 31/36 on the ACT; the best score in the score. I received a 34/36 on the English subsection, probably the highest in the history of my school. I had no reason to be depressed. Now I understand. My immediate family has never understood. I don't blame them one bit, however.
> They are good people.
>
> I am a humble person; and I don't like the thought of fame one bit. I had to sacrifice my personal desires for the good of science. I want no sympathy; I simply wanted to explain a bit about myself. I was unaware of the faq and the fact that I was being noticed at all. Good job, guys.
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> I hate to do this, but I need to ask for money. I need to buy dozens of journal articles and journals. I want the full version of every single article that I have referenced. I could definitely use some help as far as that's concerned. I'm also in a terrible amount of debt because of my college education. I need to get it payed of; I haven't been able to work recently because of my research. If I receive much more money than I need, I'll donate it to charities of my choosing. I may be able to help fund further research based on my work as well. I'm not a greedy person by any means. I've never wanted a "real" job. I think that my future job is going to be pretty unreal.
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> Cybercafe has played such an integral part of this process that I'd like to ask him if he would want to come to San Fransisco to help with this research. There are some experts there that did much to encourage me when I was tired from my research. I also owe a lot of credit to a professor at Vanderbilt University. I won't release their names without their permission.
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> I need to take a bit of a break for a minute. Dr. Bob is going to Disney World, so I think it would be a proper choice. My grandparents are celebrating their 60th anniversary next weekend, and I think that some news of my research might be a nice present for them. E-mail Time Magazine at letters@time.com and tell them what you think of me. Good or bad; I don't want anyone to be dishonest. During my break, I will put information taken from this dialectic into prose form with proper references listed in the correct manner. Such a difficult task would not have been possible while I tried to respond to as many questions as I possibly can. I went out to see friends for the first time since I started posting here tonight. I think it did much to releave my stress to find someone with an interested ear in real life. I was beginning to question my sanity in a way. I have even been made fun of for my constant researching.
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> I'm as honest as they come. I haven't been trying to be sensational. I apologize for any errors I may have made. A break will allow for some much more penetrating questions to be thrown at my research. Perhaps cybercafe could serve as a moderator for these? I hate to think that any of my advice may have lead to unwise treatment choices. I love to be proved wrong; that's a major change I've made in my life. It makes me happy because it means someone is following everything. I feel like I've discovered the fountain of youth. People have long thought that the fountain of youth may be found in the "New World." This world is certainly new. I used to coax myself to sleep at night by imagining the most fantastic circumstances in my life, and I believe that this helped reduce my cortisol levels and increase my DHEA levels. I used to dream of curing a disease. Now I can sleep tight every night.
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> Thanks so much,
>
> Shawn M. Thomas
poster:Ron Hill
thread:112274
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020709/msgs/112308.html